Skin (6 page)

Sveta was
talking to a woman who’s entire body was covered in snow white hair
that made her look like a bizarrely sexy Yeti. She was one of a
large group who was starting to fill the place. What possible
effect could that kind of all over fur give a person if it wasn’t
just for aesthetics? It wasn’t as if living in Guessing needed an
extra layer of warmth or any snow to hide in. I scoffed quietly.
Sveta had almost convinced me with her talk about transplants, her
own sob story of blindness, but my mind was clear again. Leave them
to it, this so called Sanctuary wasn’t for me.

Sveta caught me
watching her and excused herself from the Yeti.

“
How are
you settling in?” she said. “You seem to be on good form? I’ve been
watching you train.”

“
Yeah,
it’s OK.” I said. I stepped past her. “I’m on my way out
now.”

She looked
genuinely disappointed. “You can't leave now. We’re putting on a
show this evening, I hoped you could join me.”

“
Look,
thanks, but this place, it’s not for me. I met Cato, he told me
what goes on here. This arena? I’m not into stage
fighting.”

“
I had no
intention of forcing you to participate in our games, Rev. You’re
welcome to spectate. Even if you did choose to dabble in the show,
I couldn’t recommend it. Not with your recent
afflictions.”

“
Thanks
all the same, Sveta.” I still tried not to meet her gaze. That
might have been the power she had over me. Some Animus magic. “I
really do appreciate the interest. I’m going to go now.”

“
I am
going to escort you out,” she said. Even without meeting her eyes,
I was powerless to say no.

After a silent
ride in the elevator back to the real world, the door closed behind
us and we stepped out into the street. The full moon hung low
between two towers. The night was unusually warm, even for spring
and it’s up and down, unpredictable weather. The sky was clear,
starless as it always was in the city. There was not any sign of
rain. Neither of us spoke or moved and I was acutely aware of the
small but unfathomable distance between our bodies.

“
Goodnight,” I said.

Sveta kissed me
on the cheek. It was expected but I still felt strange. My pulse
raced. I grabbed her wrist and pulled her arm to me, she followed
with an acceptance I didn’t expect and I returned her kiss, firmly
on the mouth. I pulled away. Sveta leaned into me, resting her head
on my shoulder. It was a natural instinct to wrap my arm around
her, the taste of her still on my lips.

“
I feel
like I’ve taken advantage of you. I’m not used to people saying no
to me, Rev. No one I’ve chosen has ever said no to joining the
Sanctuary.”

“
I’m not
saying no to you,” I said. “I just don’t want to be part of your
fighting thing.”

I watched her
eyes.

“
Walk
with me,” she said.

She slipped her
hand into mine and I held it as we started to walk.

“
I love
to walk through the city at night,” she said eventually.

I didn’t.

“
Tell me
about your eyes,” I said. It was forward and I didn’t care. I’d
known this woman all of five minutes and already I was sure of two
things. Her kiss was like some dark magic. And two, I’d never get a
straight answer out of her without a straight question
first.

“
They
told me I would never see again,” she said. “My vision had just
started to fade one day, as if someone was gradually turning down a
dimmer switch. There was nothing wrong, not that anyone could
really see. So many tests and surgeries, I was so much less than
human already. When I heard about the Animus movement, I was
already at a point of last resort. Do you know what that’s like?
Everyone says at one point or another about so many things, that
they have no choice. But to actually, legitimately have no other
option—a life of blindness or serpent’s eyes adapted to my own
useless eyeballs so that I might continue to see the world. Those
were my choices. What would you have chosen?”

Part of me
wanted him to be able to say blindness. But there was not a
question.

“
I get
it, I do,” I said. What I thought about Animus stuff in general,
that’s not the whole reason why I didn’t want to join that club and
I was about to tell her as much. She lifted her head and looked up
at me. It was the first time we’d been together where I had felt in
any kind of commanding position. It probably makes me an asshole to
find that kind of thing important, right?

“
Your
judgements of the Animus is preventing you from understanding what
it is we do at Sanctuary.”

“
Natural
versus Animus. I filled it in from what Cato told me. A test of
strength and form, right? To see which body works
better?”

“
It’s not
a test. Not in any typical sense. We celebrate a winner and we
celebrate the efforts of the lesser on the night. And that’s all it
is, a celebration. A marvel at what the human form is capable
of.”

“
Then why
the distinction? The fight? Why not have Natural against Natural?
Why fight at all?”

“
The
distinction because we need to categorise, all of us do. Because
humans like to watch others fight. It’s just another natural
urge.”

We arrived at
my apartment building without me even realising we had walked that
far.

“
I’ve
learned it’s better to accept my natural urges, Rev. I can’t and I
won’t resist them. I know you have urges too.”

I did have
urges. I had the urge to grab her again, take her upstairs. She
pulled her hand out of mine.

“
Goodbye
Rev. If that’s what you want this to be.”

“
It was
interesting, but this has to be goodbye. I can’t take your job, I’m
sorry.”

I turned away
and wanted to kiss her again. Closing the door behind me, not
looking at her still standing there as if she were waiting for me
to turn and come back at her bidding. That’s goodbye, I told myself
and knew I’d be seeing her again as soon as I could manage it.

My phone
beeped, pulling me out of a dream where I ran, shoving and pushing
through crowds of people, all with different animal parts. Victoria
was there too, running beside me and shouting that Brandt Delaney
was telling me to keep her OU project a secret. TV cameras came at
my face from every direction.

"They killed
my mother!" I screamed into the black eyes of the cameras.

I woke
not knowing where I was or what time it was. The city blazed in
midday and I realised I
’d slept away most of the
morning.

It was a
message from Sveta. I knew she would contact me and yes, I was even
waiting for it. It wasn
’t a question. It wasn’t an
invitation or a request. She was coming to pick me up. I leaped out
of bed, buzzing and nervous as if I had consumed a can of
Winner.

I was
coming out of a quick shower when the doorbell chimed. I checked
the door cam. I hadn
’t expected her so quickly and I
really hadn’t expected her to actually come up to my door. I let
her up, acutely aware I was still wearing just a towel around my
waist.

“
Dressing down?” she said. “Don’t worry. I like the naturist
look.” She emphasised the ‘natural’ part of the word.

I wanted to
drop the towel. I wanted to pull her dress off. It was a long dark
blue sleek thing, the colour of midnight. Just a slip of cloth
standing between us both being naked. Instead I hurried back into
the bedroom before she noticed how excited I really was to see her.
I was disappointed she stayed in the living room.

“
You’re
late for work,” she called between the rooms.

I pulled
t-shirt over my head and rushed back to see her.

“
I told
you I can’t take your job.”

“
So
you’re happy to stay working for Prime Life as they gut your
Saturn’s? Your home away from home?”

“
I’ll
figure something out,”

“
You’ll
have to wear a company shirt, you realise. It will likely be quite
ugly.”

“
I’ll
deal with it,”

“
Saturn’s was a quiet place. That’s over now. You’ll have to
use words like 'epic' and 'awesome'. You will have to pretend all
those fat people walking on treadmills are actually achieving
something. You will have to sell them Prime Life branded energy
drinks and powders.”

“
There
are other places I can get a job. Yours isn’t the only gym in
Guessing not owned by Prime Life.”

“
For
now. And who knows? The way this world is going, I too may soon be
a corporate employee.” She threw her head back and
laughed.

“
You’re
not going to leave me alone are you,” I stepped toward her, hoping
that she’d touch me.

“
I told
you I’m not used to people saying no to me, Rev. Especially when
there is no good reason to say no and every good reason to say yes.
I need you,” she said. She looked up at me. “I want you to come and
work for me, but I want you to kiss me more,”

I leaned
in, our faces just inches apart. She smelled like flowers.
“It would be wrong to kiss my boss,” I said.

She
smiled.

We
walked down to the Sanctuary building, neither of us speaking much
beyond small talk as if we
’d known one another for
years. Sveta had let me open the door of my building for her, she’d
let me lead, and did the same when we reached Sanctuary. It was a
game and I was happy to play it.

There
were a few people on the gym floor. Cato was lifting on some
machine that looked like a medieval torture device rendered in
shining chrome and rubber. Imogen was twisting herself through her
yoga paces like a piece of origami paper. I made a show of smiling
and waving to her and she threw me a small nod back, a basic
acknowledgement but a sign she didn
’t hate me. In
every other part of life, I walked around not caring in the
slightest what people thought about me or whether or not they liked
me. It seemed vitally important that everyone at Sanctuary like
me.

Sveta
moved closely, touching my hand and back, just gently, casually,
almost incidentally, and I felt everyone notice our closeness. From
everything Cato had told me, I obviously wasn
’t the
first one in the room to have moved this close to the boss but it
still made me feel special, like I was chosen.

“
Your
first day of work,” she said. “Officially.”

“
What do
you want me to do?”

“
What
did you do at Saturn’s?”

“
I
lifted weights for most of the day,” I said.

“
And
that’s why that place was a roach bucket that smelled like feet,”
she pointed to a door off the main area. “That’s the janitor’s
store. A good place to start.”

There
wasn
’t a speck of dirt or dust anywhere in the place,
but I dutifully wiped over every surface. I oiled machines and
double checked on all the cable connections. I polished the
floorboards and cleaned the one way windows. I polished the chrome
weights and lined up the rows of floor mats like regimented
soldiers. It was menial work and I loved every second of
it.

At six
o
’clock, Sveta came out of her office, a room I was
yet to see from the inside, and told me my work day was
over.

“
I’m
going to change and workout, if that’s OK, boss.”

“
Do you
feel like a sauna? Loosen you up before you lift?

“
It’s
probably not a great idea,” I said. “Steaming after a lift is
better. I don’t want to risk dehydrating and —”

“
Rev. I
have a private steam room.”
Sveta had one eyebrow
cocked and a half smile of expectation on her pursed
lips.

“
Oh
right,” I said. “Yeah, private steam room. It’ll be good to warm
up, I guess.”

Sveta took my
hand and we walked through the blank door that was her private
office.

I had expected
a desk, a chair, anything anyone would normally expect to find in
an office. Instead we stepped into a small room with a low couch, a
floor to ceiling bookshelf talking up an entire wall, jam packed
with paperback novels. A few exercise balls and bean bag cushions
littered the thickly carpeted floor. There was a small desk. There
was a second door on the back wall.

“
My
sanctuary within Sanctuary,” she said and closed the door, locking
it with an electronic keypad. She motioned toward the other door
and I followed her into her sauna.

It was dark,
the only light a red glow from the bank of coals in the corner.
Sveta poured a cup of water over them and they hissed, sending off
geysers of steam and mirroring exactly what felt like was going on
in my insides. She came back to me, standing against me so our
bodies almost touched.

She was
waiting for me to make the first move, letting me lead like she had
done with the doors on the way here. There was no kidding who
really was in charge here, but I liked the gesture and played the
game she wanted me to play.

I slid one
hand over her shoulder, pulling down her strap while the other hand
moved to her back, searching for the clasp that would undo her
dress. I was nervous as hell. The clasp released with blessed ease
and her dress fell to the floor with only the most gentle tug.
Again I ran my hands over her shoulders, drinking in the smoothness
of her skin starting to sweat. I skimmed my fingers around to the
small of her back and pulled her close, kissing her neck. She slid
her hands under my t-shirt.