Skaia (81 page)

“
No, Master. Their owner would not give them time.”

Thaddeus shook his head. “That’s too bad. They worked hard. I would have given each one a coin and a good meal if I could have.”

When everyone had finished eating, Thaddeus looked at Skaia. “Go to the slave quarters, please, and bring back a pallet to my chamber.” He stood. “Nicea, come with me now.”

On the way to his rooms, Thaddeus motioned for Nicea to walk with him. “I don’t know what I will do in the long run, Nicea, but for now, Skaia will be staying with us. Is that a problem for you?”

“
No, Master.”
Why is he asking me? It’s not like I can object…

Thaddeus studied the boy’s face in the glow of the dimming torches. On the surface, Nicea appeared calm and accepting, just as he always did. Still, Thaddeus suspected the slave was not so composed inside. But he couldn’t deal with it tonight. “Thank you, Nicea,” he murmured softly.

Skaia arrived shortly after with the pallet, and placed it in the antechamber. Thaddeus went to one of his cabinets and took out two blankets. “We’ll have to get sheets later, but you’ll probably be comfortable for the night.”

“
Master, I should stay in the slave quarters. It is what Master Glaucus wants,” Skaia said, meeting Thaddeus’ eyes.

“
It doesn’t matter what my son wants. You no longer belong to him.” Thaddeus saw Skaia flinch. “And, I don’t trust you alone right now.”

Skaia lowered his eyes and nodded. Thaddeus was right that he was distraught, but he would not try to kill himself; he had
promised.

Thaddeus handed the blankets to Nicea. “Please make up Skaia’s pallet. Then go to bed yourself.”

When Nicea was gone, Skaia looked at Thaddeus. “What will you do with me, sir?”

“
I don’t know. And I’m too tired to think clearly.” Thaddeus tempered his voice. “Do I need to chain you tonight?”

“
No, sir,” Skaia answered, slowly shaking his head.

“
Then go to sleep. Everything will appear better in the morning.”

Skaia very much doubted that, but he was troubled and exhausted. He bowed and went to join Nicea in the antechamber.

Thaddeus tossed in the large bed. He wanted Skaia to join him. Not for sex—just to comfort him and hold him close. And yet he couldn’t bring himself to ask—or command. Not with Nicea here.

He forced his mind back to the party, and thought of Gallia. She was indeed very beautiful, and she seemed genuinely fond of Glaucus.
But when she comes here, she becomes part of my family. And she will have to learn to respect my rules.

Gradually, Thaddeus was able to release his anger, both at Glaucus and Gallia. His son thought him too soft on slaves. Thaddeus thought himself too soft on his family.

And he was determined to re-establish his authority in his own household.

XXIII

In spite of his curiosity and confusion, Nicea remained quiet for a long while after Skaia settled on the pallet next to his own. But he finally leaned over and whispered softly, “Are you awake?”

“
I am,” Skaia whispered back. “But we can’t talk. We will disturb Thaddeus.”

Nicea was silent again. But only for a few moments. “Will you come outside with me?” he asked quietly.

Skaia was tempted to refuse—the last thing he wanted was to displease Thaddeus tonight. But from Nicea, this was an exceedingly bold request. Sighing softly, he got up and slipped on his tunic.

Picking up a blanket, Nicea joined him at the door, and together they left quietly, Skaia leading the other boy to Paulinus’ bench in the peristylium garden.

“
What do you want?” he asked as he sat, making no effort to hide his dejection or irritation.

Nicea sat beside him and wrapped the blanket about both their shoulders. “Skaia, did you really try to kill yourself?”

“
Yes,” Skaia laughed weakly. “But obviously, I didn’t try hard enough.”

“
You mean… you really wish you had succeeded?” Nicea asked.

Skaia turned to face him. There were a few torches still lit. He could see some details of the other boy’s countenance, and he thought Nicea was staring at him in awe. “No,” he admitted. “Not now. But… have you never thought of it?”

“
Once… But, Skaia, I am not brave.” Nicea lowered his eyes briefly, before looking at Skaia again. “You… you tried, just because the Senator used you?”

“
Just?
” Skaia took a deep breath. “It was degrading and horrible, Nicea. I felt I couldn’t live with it…”

Nicea didn’t laugh, but he thought that to serve only a few of a master’s friends would have been quite tolerable—especially with a master as kind as Thaddeus. Which reminded him of the other thing Gotus had told him. “Was it really Master Thaddeus who stopped you?”

“
Yes. He knocked the knife away, and made me promise I wouldn’t try again,” Skaia explained. “He said he would never… let it happen again.”
And he kept that promise tonight.

Nicea hesitated, barely understanding such a thing. “And that was the only time you’ve been used by someone else… other than Master Thaddeus, and Master Glaucus?”

Skaia noticed that Nicea was shaking, and he pulled the blanket tighter around them. “It seems trivial to you, doesn’t it? Thaddeus told me that Glaucus and his friends took you. Was it very awful?”

“
Oh, Skaia, the Roman boys seemed sent by the gods. My first master…” Nicea hesitated. He wished now he had never revealed anything to Glaucus. “My first master, made his wealth by courting the Roman occupation troops. He… he rewarded them by offering me, and others, as an incentive to use his services. Their only limitations were not to kill us, or leave us unfit for future service.”

Nicea still remembered horrors he could scarcely bear to recall. Being forced to drink the urine of passersby—and being taunted afterwards. Having his nipples and cock clamped so tightly that he had thought he would die just from the pain and humiliation.

Skaia somehow sensed that Nicea’s mind was evoking terrible things, and he waited patiently for the other boy to either end the conversation completely—or compose himself and continue. Still, he was slightly startled when Nicea spoke again.

“
I thought my second master was wonderful at first. He would beat me sometimes, but I only had to service his friends occasionally. Towards the end though, he suffered a terrible illness, and… and needed to lash out at someone to relieve his pain.”

Nicea went quiet again, and Skaia waited patiently, willing to let the other boy tell his story in his own time.

“
When he died… ”
and his family destroyed the addition to his will that would have freed me
“… I was sold again. At first, only brothel owners bid, until eventually all but one dropped out. There was no hope of escaping that fate, until Glaucus and his friends joined the bidding. I think the young Romans saw it as some sort of joke… that they could take so easily what this man wanted so badly. When… when the man finally dropped out too, I thought my prayers were answered.” Nicea smiled for just a moment. “And, I never dreamed a master might be as kind as Thaddeus.”

Skaia stroked Nicea’s arm comfortingly, his fingers finding the rough raised patch of skin. He’d seen it before, of course, and had assumed it was some sort of birthmark. But now he asked. “What is this, Nicea? Does it cause you pain?”

“
It’s nothing,” Nicea replied. “Just an old burn mark.” He shifted his arm from Skaia’s touch.

It is something
, Skaia decided—especially if Nicea wouldn’t speak of it
.
But he let it go. “How did you become a slave? How old were you?”

“
I was ten,” Nicea answered. “All the little shop-keepers in our district were unable to meet the new round of taxes imposed by the Roman praetor. I was only a third son… My father chose to sell me, to save the rest of our family.”

His own father…
Skaia held him even tighter. “I’m sorry.”
Compared to Nicea’s life, my own has been so good.
“How could you survive all that? Why did you even want to live?”

“
There… there was a certain pride in saving my family,” Nicea replied. “I found out later that they were doing well.” He became silent as thoughts of his family faded, and he remembered instead Leander, and finally shared at least a part of the horror with Skaia.

“
I watched a friend being whipped to death, Skaia. For something that was my fault.” 
Oh, Leander—I’m still so sorry. I wish I could have stopped it.
Nicea trembled as he controlled his tears. “After that, I was terrified. Of living or dying. Another friend in the household… he told me there was never hope in death. Only in living.”

Fighting away the horrible images of cutting Leander’s throat, Nicea carefully blanked his mind. “Master Thaddeus has been wonderful,” he concluded.

“
Yes, I understand,” Skaia said carefully. “Thaddeus can be very kind.”

Nicea took a deep breath. “But he doesn’t love me, Skaia.”

“
Love? He loves his family.” Skaia hesitated. “But, why does it matter? Unless… Do you love him, Nicea?”

“
Oh, no. I have never allowed myself to love anyone.”
Not after Leander.
“I do not expect love, Skaia. I… I just want to be treated well.”

Skaia’s voice was flat. “Then Thaddeus can meet your needs.”

Nicea sighed softly. “But it will end now. He has you back. He will be rid of me.”

Skaia looked at him in surprise. “He likes you, Nicea. You serve him very well—far better than I ever did. Why would you think that?”

Can you truly be so blind?
Nicea wondered. “I know he likes me. I am a very good slave. But you are more to him than that.”

Skaia was silent for several long moments. He certainly hoped Nicea was right—that Thaddeus would forgive him and take him back. But that would mean Nicea would be hurt again. And he found he didn’t want that. Impulsively, he leaned to Nicea and kissed his cheek. “We should go back.” He gave a small laugh. “My feet are freezing.”

Standing, Nicea slipped his arm around Skaia’s waist and held the blanket tight around them both as they walked. And when they entered Thaddeus’ chambers, he lay down and pulled on Skaia’s hand. “Lie with me, please,” he whispered. “We can share our body heat.”

Hesitating for only a moment, Skaia slipped beneath Nicea’s blanket. They embraced each other, and Skaia leaned in to kiss the Greek boy again. Nicea was stiff at first, but then he returned the kiss.

Though they were both aroused, they went no further than just the gentle grinding of their bodies, lying close and wrapped in each other’s arms. In this way, they slept.

Hearing Thaddeus begin to stir before dawn, Skaia moved quickly to his own pallet, and curled up in his blankets.