Skaia (74 page)

“
He… he is much bigger than Master Thaddeus,” Nicea said, picking up the platters.

“
I knew it!” Gotus grinned.  “His belt always rolls high.”

“
What did Skaia say?” Nicea asked uncertainly.

“
He lied to me,” Gotus grinned. “He said Antius was as flat as he is.” Gotus’ expression sobered. “He lies to me all the time, Nicea. He never tells me when he’s upset or in trouble.”

“
You are his friend,” Nicea said, equally seriously.

“
I’m his best friend,” Gotus agreed. “But he has many. He would tell us of his trips from the domus.”

Nicea smiled. “I remember when I would cling to those descriptions, too.”
Oh, gods,
he thought.
Have I become one of those favored slaves, like the ones I used to admire?

They continued to talk as they made their way back and forth to the kitchen, and when Gotus realized Skaia would not be joining them at all, he took it upon himself to introduce Nicea to most of the other slaves. And they sat side by side as they ate their dinner.

After Crassus and Thaddia left for bed, Thaddeus suggested that he and Glaucus walk outside. As they wandered, they ended up near the whipping post in the front garden. “This is where I whipped Skaia for the first time. He thought he was brave enough to die,” Thaddeus smiled.

“
What did he do to be beaten so badly while I was away?” Glaucus asked as they made their way to the peristylium.

Thaddeus hesitated only a moment before telling his son the truth. “He ran from me, Glaucus. An awful night. I suggested he could belong to both of us. And he was horrified.”

Glaucus was quiet as he took in what his father said. “You mean, as a bed-slave?” he asked finally. “Like Nicea served Bessus and Trestus, and me?”

“
I suppose that’s how he saw it. At any rate, he wouldn’t do it.” Thaddeus sat on the side of the new pool. “Why are you excluding him? Why didn’t you take him to the baths today, or let him serve tonight?”

Glaucus shrugged. “I didn’t want him. He’s just a slave, Father. He no longer has any great significance for me.”

The answer I should have expected,
Thaddeus thought. He wasn’t at all sure why he pressed on. “Is it because of me?” he ventured after a moment. “Because I used Skaia?”
Because we had a relationship?

Sitting beside his father on the marble ledge, Glaucus thought how to best phrase his reply.
Of course, I’m upset that you used what was mine. And that Skaia let you.
But, how important was that? More significant than his father using his favorite horse? Bessus and Trestus had said it was not; that giving Skaia such significance was foolish. Repeated every day for over a year.

Taking a deep breath, Glaucus spoke. “What you did with Skaia—or to him—doesn’t affect me now. It’s nothing to me.”
Or should be
. “Besides, it’s not as if I hurt him or treat him badly, Father. I haven’t beaten him. I just don’t care to have him with me constantly.”

Thaddeus remained silent, thinking of Skaia’s scarred back and realizing that, at least part of his plan had been accomplished. Certainly Glaucus no longer had any obvious affection for Skaia. He found himself wondering what Skaia felt… Would the boy still make the same choice?

Glaucus’ voice interrupted his thoughts. “Why are you so concerned? Don’t tell me he persuaded you to care for him?”

No,
Thaddeus thought. I
would never tell you that.
“He has been very active in the household since you’ve been gone,” he finally answered. “And he’s not used to being alone so much.”

“
Being alone?” Glaucus laughed. “Then he should be grateful. And you did tell me that how I treat my slave is my choice, Father.”

“
You’re right, Glaucus.” Thaddeus smiled at his son. “Skaia belongs to you again, and you can do with him as you will.”
No matter what Skaia’s feelings might be—or mine.

They walked slowly back inside together, laughing about Abrahm’s strange robes, until they separated, each to his own chamber.

The slaves’ dinner had been served and cleared away before Castor and Skaia were clean. Phaelas sniffed at them both before letting them enter the kitchen. “Alright, you can come eat now.” When they sat, Phaelas joined them and apologized. “It’s a job no one wants, Skaia. When you came asking for work… it just seemed something I could give you. I… thought Master Glaucus was angry with you. I am sorry.”

Skaia shrugged and smiled at Phaelas. “It’s alright, sir. It was the first time in days that I’ve laughed.”

“
The same for me,” Castor smiled. “Perhaps the boy and I will do the sponges together from now on.”

Phaelas stood. “As I said earlier, you’re both insane.” But he was smiling too, as he walked away.

Castor pushed a curl from Skaia’s eye. “Are you feeling better, now?”

“
Yes, sir,” Skaia grinned. “If you like me enough to do that job with me, I must not be so bad.”

“
That’s what I told you, imp. Just please don’t make me do it again.”

Skaia laughed softly. “I thought you enjoyed it, sir.” At Castor’s frown, he smiled and quickly added, “I’ll try not to, sir.” Then, with a small bow, he left the kitchen and made his way to Glaucus’ room.

Tapping gently on Glaucus’ door, Skaia entered. Glaucus was sitting at his desk reading a scroll. He looked up, but said nothing. Skaia hesitated only a moment before going to the far corner of the room and kneeling in the shadows. His knees ached immediately from the scrubbing he’d done earlier, and he quickly wished he’d made another choice.

Finally, Glaucus put the scroll aside and turned to look at him. “What the fuck are you doing?”

“
No… nothing, sir. I just wanted not to be in your way.”

“
And what made you think of that as a solution?”

Skaia felt himself blush. “Master Thaddeus, sir. He… he required it of me, sir. I… I’m sorry.”
Should I get up? Should I leave?

Glaucus was truly surprised, and continued to stare. From his father’s letters, he had thought the slave… pampered. This comment left him wondering what he did know. He was absolutely sure he would never care for Skaia as he had before.
I would never be that foolish again.
But he had lived with Skaia over half his life – in just a single room. Far smaller than the large, comfortable space he now occupied.
There is no reason for Skaia to huddle in a corner…
“Get out of the floor. Sit at the table.”

The slave had been at the table for several long moments before Glaucus finally spoke again. “What did you do today?”

Why would you want to know?
But, of course, he couldn’t ask that. “I… I scrubbed the kitchen floor, sir, and then washed the privy sponges,” Skaia said, as he forced himself to meet his master’s eyes.

Glaucus’ brows rose in consternation. “Those are hardly the duties of a personal slave. Did you disobey someone?” he asked angrily. “Do something wrong?”

Skaia fought not to lower his head. “I don’t know, sir. Have I displeased you?”

“
Me? I didn’t tell you to scrub the damn floors or wash the filthy sponges.”

“
No, sir. You didn’t.” Skaia bowed his head, having no idea how to defend himself. “I… I’m sorry.”

“
For what?”

Oh, Belenus, I have no idea.
“For… for whatever it is that I’ve done wrong, sir.”

Glaucus’ voice dropped. “And what is it that you think you’ve done wrong?”

Skaia looked up. “I’m not sure,” he said tentatively. “I… I changed, sir. I… surrendered to Master Thaddeus. I… I became what he wanted me to be.”

Of course. That was the exact problem.
And it was nothing Skaia could be blamed for. Glaucus continued to stare, finding it very difficult to get out the words he needed to say. “You only did as my father ordered you. It doesn’t reflect on you. What’s happened between
us
is that I have changed. I recognize now that you are only a slave. It would be foolish of me to blame you for being what you are.”

You are only a slave. It is what you are.
Skaia felt himself begin to tremble and he tensed his muscles immediately, not wanting Glaucus to see his weakness. “So you do not dislike me terribly, sir?”

“
No, of course I don’t dislike you.” Glaucus sighed softly. “The problem is that I was just a boy before. And I treated you in ways I cannot now continue. I led you to expect things that cannot be.”

Skaia could not stop the quivering in his voice. “We cannot be… friends… again?”

Glaucus sat up straighter. “Skaia, I have seen what the world is like. I know better what is expected of me now. In just a few weeks, my engagement will be celebrated. I will be married before spring, and then I will leave on my first mission for the Senate. I’m not a boy anymore. I have no time to be playing games with a slave. No, we cannot be friends,” he concluded firmly.

Skaia was staring at his hands in his lap. “If I am just a slave to you now, why were you so upset about Scipio, and what we did?  Why would it matter that I… slept… with your father?”

Hesitating, Glaucus wished he’d not let this conversation get started. Certainly, his initial reaction had been jealousy, because others had used something that was his. “I was a child, just as you were, when I left. Look at me.” When Skaia met his eyes, he continued. “Perhaps my resentment is just a remnant of my childhood. I am not without feelings for you, Skaia. You have been dear to me.” He watched Skaia for a reaction, and saw none. “But it cannot be the way it was. I have duties and responsibilities now. And they don’t include you.” He laughed softly. “I can’t very well be attended by the slave who was used to bribe a senator to support me. I have to work with Scipio. He’ll be in charge of my first mission. Maybe more.”