Sizzling Nights with Dr. Off-Limits (5 page)

“Thank you for dinner. Everything was delicious,” she told him so formally he cringed.

“You sound as if you're done.”

“I am.”

“The night doesn't have to end, Emily.” At her look of horror, he elaborated. “I didn't mean we should have sex.”

Although, he didn't find the idea nearly as horrific as she obviously did.

Because he still wanted her.

The realization was an earth-shattering one.

He still wanted Emily.

“Whatever you meant, my answer is no.”

“You aren't curious about what I had in mind?”

She shook her head. “I just want this obligation over.”

Which put him in his place.

The waitress set their check on the table, and when Emily went to grab it, he beat her to the ticket.

“You're not paying for our meal.”

“But the fund-raiser...”

“Doesn't matter. You're not paying.”

“But...”

“Emily, please don't argue on this one. Just let me feel like a man by paying for my date's dinner.”

“But I'm not really your date.”

“Sure you are. That's what I won. A date with a beautiful bachelorette to raise money for a great cause.”

She glanced down at where her hands rested in her lap, then shrugged. “Okay, if that's what you want.”

What he wanted was Emily.

She was his ex-wife, not a woman he was trying to woo or get to know better. He already knew Emily better than any woman in his life. Only, he didn't know her at all. Not anymore.

But he wanted to know her. Everything about her.

He finished his fresh glass of water, then nodded. “Yes, that's what I want.”

When they'd split, he'd not been thinking clearly. He'd been spoiled, a kid still in many ways, focused on becoming a doctor, and when he'd had free time, he'd wanted to unwind, to hang with his fellow residents, his lifelong friends, to enjoy life and being young, not sitting inside the tiny apartment they'd called home and staring at the four walls. Or fighting, which was all they'd seemed able to do once they'd said I do.

What he should have been enjoying was Emily, but how could he do that when she'd cried almost nonstop, when he'd looked into her eyes and seen such horrific sadness that he hadn't been able to stand it?

She'd once been so bubbly. Within minutes of meeting her during his residency program, he'd become enamored with the perky nurse who knew her stuff and had the most enchanting smile and big green eyes he'd ever encountered. He'd been intrigued, asked her to go for coffee, and, although he could tell she was similarly intrigued, she'd refused.

He'd asked again the next day. And the next. And the day after that, too, even when he hadn't been working.

That day she'd said yes for the following day, if he was available. Although he'd had to do some major shuffling, he'd made himself available.

Over coffee they'd talked, laughed, ended up going for a walk in Central Park, and coffee had turned into dinner. She'd told him she'd said no not because she wasn't attracted to him, but because she'd just started at the hospital a few months before and really wasn't interested in becoming involved with someone who also worked at the hospital. When it had come time to tell her good-night, their kiss had been intense. He hadn't wanted to go, but she wouldn't let him stay.

Over the next few weeks, he'd spent every spare moment with her and quite a few he hadn't had to spare. The demands of his residency program, his family obligations and wanting to be with Emily nonstop started taking their toll. He pretty much gave up sleep, felt exhausted more often than not and knew he couldn't keep burning his candle at both ends. He'd thought if they married, it would ease the strain on several counts.

He'd been wrong.

She'd been trying to be the wife she'd thought she should be, but she hadn't connected with his family or his lifestyle, had insisted she live within her means instead. With each day that had passed, her smiles had become less and less frequent until they'd completely been replaced by tears.

He'd kept telling himself it would get better once he finished his residency, that he just had to bide his time.

Then she'd started talking about wanting a baby.

They'd been married less than a year. She would burst into tears within minutes of seeing him. He was in a medical school residency program. All they'd done was fight and have makeup sex. He'd talked with his parents and they'd accused Emily of being a gold digger, of trying to tie herself to his inheritance forever by having a baby. He hadn't believed them, not really. If Emily had been after money, why would she have insisted they live in her tiny apartment? To live within her income rather than the lavish lifestyle his trust could have provided? If his money was what she'd wanted, why was she so sad all the time? Because he'd have given her anything. He'd tried, had wanted to, but no matter what he'd done, it had been wrong. Being married to him had clinically depressed Emily. Not that she would admit it or agree to get help. How was that supposed to make a man feel? That being his wife made her ill?

He'd found himself backing away from their relationship. He'd barely been able to find time for the things he'd had to do, she'd cried all the time, and she'd been thinking about throwing an innocent baby into the mix?

If he'd been with Emily, he'd wanted her and had feared that she might end up pregnant on purpose. He'd started spending more time at the hospital, doing research, spending time with his parents, especially his mother, who'd been reeling from losing her mother a few months into his marriage to Emily, spending time with his friends, anything and anywhere to where he and Emily hadn't been alone, to where they couldn't have been intimate.

At first she'd gone with him to the things she could, had tried to keep up with his crazy, fast-paced schedule. Eventually, she'd quit, opting to go home. And do what? He really didn't know. Just that the emotional rift between them had kept dividing until it had reached mammoth proportions over just a few months.

And yet, for all the past, he wanted her even now. Just without the golden rings to choke out everything good between them, without that stress they'd put upon their once fantastic relationship, without the tears and the fights. He wanted what they'd had those first few months they'd been together and she'd been his best friend, his confidant, the person who had brightened his life in so many ways.

So long as they didn't put the expectations upon each other their wedding vows had burdened them with, they should be just fine.

In his mind, it all made perfect, logical sense, but when his gaze met Emily's across the table, he knew his logic and her logic weren't anywhere near on the same page.

CHAPTER FIVE

E
MILY
WANTED
TO
SCREAM
. Why did Lucas keep staring at her that way?

A way that had her questioning his motives.

A way that made her think he wanted to have her for dessert.

As if.

He paid for their food by tossing down a couple of large bills that no doubt made their waitress's night.

“No change? Really?” The young woman smiled hugely. “Thank you.”

“Thank you for dinner, too,” Emily added, standing. “I need to be going. I have to work tomorrow.”

She needed to get away from Lucas. Seeing his kindness, his generosity, to the waitress bothered her. Not that she didn't want him to be generous. He could certainly afford to and generosity was a good thing. She just didn't want to witness any more “good guy” behavior. Nor did she want to make any more comparisons between Richard and Lucas. Richard was a “to the exact recommended percentage only” tipper and would have been appalled at what Lucas had given to the young woman. Just as he was appalled at how much Lucas had bid for tonight's “date.”

“I'll walk you home.”

“No.”

“Emily,” he began, but she shook her head.

“Lucas, you aren't going home with me.”

“Walking you home and going home with you aren't the same thing.”

“Either way, I walked myself here and I can walk myself back.”

“You offend my gentlemanliness.”

“Too bad, but you aren't getting anywhere near my apartment.”

“Is being around me that bad?”

Why had his voice sounded off when he'd asked his question?

“Being around you isn't good.”

“I'd like to prove that you're wrong about that,” he said as they stepped outside Stluka's and onto the sidewalk. Although the street wasn't that crowded, at the end of the block they could see the hustle and bustle of Broad Street. “I think our being around each other could be good for both of us.”

She paused walking. A man behind her excused himself and went around her as she glared at Lucas. “Why would you possibly think that?”

“We had a lot of passion and strong emotions between us that we were too young to deal with and we let our relationship fall apart. Life has thrown us back together for a reason.”

“You're crazy.”

“Yeah, maybe I am, because right now all I can think about is how much I've missed spending time with you. I suppose there are a lot of people who'd say that's pretty crazy.”

“For the record, I'm one of those people. The only reason I'm spending time with you is because you won the auction. Don't mistake my being here as anything more.”

“I don't believe you, Emily. I feel the vibe between us.”

She glanced down the street, considered making a run for her apartment. How dared he call her bluff?

“You're still as attracted to me as I am to you.”

“I'm not attracted to you at all. Whatever vibes you think you're picking up on all have to do with the past, Lucas. There's nothing between us in the present. Nothing at all. Good night.”

Head held high, she walked away, praying her feet didn't trip up and make her land on her face because she felt his gaze on her retreat.

* * *

Some of Emily's patients truly broke her heart. Jenny Garcia was one. The four-year-old girl had been rushed to the emergency room after she'd been abused by her mother's drugged-out boyfriend. The child had sustained multiple injuries including broken ribs, a busted lip, blackened eyes and bruises all over her tiny body. She'd also suffered from a concussion and brain injury that had the emergency physician opting to admit the child onto the unit where Emily worked.

Lucas was the physician assigned to her case and he'd shown up on the floor just minutes after Emily got the unconscious girl checked onto the unit.

“How bad is she?”

“She's pitiful,” Emily admitted, her eyes watering. No, she was not going to cry. She wasn't. She would not lapse into crying in front of Lucas. She was beyond that life phase.

“Some people shouldn't have children.”

Some people didn't.

Emily flinched. Nope. Not going there. La. La. La. Not allowing those thoughts to enter her head.

“I agree.” She handed him the computer tablet with the girl's information pulled up.

His wince tugged way deep inside Emily. Lucas sighed, then raked his fingers through his thick hair. “Where's the mom?”

Emily shrugged. “I've not seen her. One of the ER nurses said she was there for a while, but that she didn't stay.”

“How could anyone leave their child after something like this happening?” Lucas asked, truly looking shocked.

Emily had had the same thought when the ER nurse had told her the girl's mother had left. Emily tried not to judge, but sometimes it was darn hard not to.

Lucas nodded. “Go with me to check her?”

Emily didn't want to go anywhere with Lucas, but she couldn't refuse the unit's medical director.

When his eyes touched on the child in the hospital bed, his disgust emanated.

“There are several consults already in the system besides yours,” Emily told him. “The ER physician just felt having you look over her brain scans and getting her ICP down was the most imperative once they had her otherwise stabilized.”

“She's going to need surgical repair of some of her injuries.”

Emily nodded. “Jeremiah Franklin reset a bone and closed a few wounds prior to her transfer to the floor. He plans to take her back to surgery once you feel it's safe for him to do so.”

“Noted.” Lucas did a neuro check on the child from head to toe so he could assess the extent of her injuries. Emily had already completed a similar examination but watched Lucas's highly efficient but gentle exam. The child was unconscious and yet, still, his touch was nurturing and caring.

The girl moaned in pain, the sound barely above a tortured whimper.

“I'll kill the guy myself if he ever shows his face here.”

Emily nodded. She felt the same. The absolute protectiveness Lucas was showing over the child stunned her, though.

He'd have made a great father.

A tortured whimper escaped her own lips at her thought and she turned away.

“I'm sorry, Emily. I shouldn't have said that out loud.”

Forcing herself to face him, she shook her head. “No, for once, we agree on something. I'd like to introduce him to my dad's baseball bat.”

A small smile toyed on Lucas's face. “I've heard about your dad's baseball bat.”

Emily's gaze flickered to the child. “Yeah, well, too bad she doesn't have a dad with a baseball bat to have protected her from the world's bad guys.”

“Agreed.” He touched her shoulder, then let his hand fall away as if realizing he shouldn't be touching her. “I'm off to get prepped for surgery to release the pressure in her head. Pray all goes well and I have her back to you before your shift ends.”

* * *

With more wires and bandages than she'd left with, Jenny returned to the unit about an hour before time for Emily's shift to end. She got the child settled, with all vitals checked and recorded.

Lucas looked over the information in the computer, then went to the girl's room and found Emily standing next to the child's bed and holding her hand.

His heart squeezed at the image, at the compassion on Emily's face. The look that said had this been her child she'd have protected her until her dying breath.

Once upon a time, Emily had wanted a child. His child. Did she plan to have children someday still?

As much as she'd talked about having a baby and starting a family, he was surprised she hadn't already.

Any child would be blessed to have her as a mother.

If only they were meeting now for the first time, without the past between them, how different would things be? Would he be looking at her right now and admiring her beauty, her compassion, her heart, and wondering at the emotions she elicited within him?

Would he ask her to dinner and commiserate over life's injustices that a child would suffer such a cruel fate? Would they bond and hold hands, hug each other, share their first kiss? Would they—

“Oh, sorry, I didn't see you there.” Emily interrupted his thoughts, pulling her hand free from the child's and moving away from the hospital bed. “She's resting peacefully at the moment and her ICP pressure has improved a lot from prior to surgery. You used your new procedure on her. It seems to be working.”

“So far, at any rate. She has a long way to go to recovery.”

Emily nodded. “If you'll excuse me, I'm going to go check my other patient.”

Lucas watched her walk across the room. Just as she made it to the door, he stopped her. “Go to dinner with me, Emily.”

He hadn't known he was going to ask her, but more than anything he wanted her to say yes.

“I can't,” she told him. “I already have plans.”

“With the pharmacist?”

Not meeting his gaze, she nodded.

“Will you understand if I don't say to have a good time?”

Her gaze lifted to his. “Not really.”

He sighed. “Go, Emily. Have a good time. The best.”

* * *

Emily didn't have the best time. Richard was quiet, sulky, wanting her to pay penance for having dinner with Lucas the night before. She kept having to remind herself that Richard wasn't the problem. Lucas was.

She smiled across the dinner table, forced herself to listen to him recount a story one of his pharmacy customers had told him that day. She hadn't had to force herself to listen to Lucas the night before. She'd soaked up every excited word he'd said. He'd talked with such passion about his career, about the new procedure and the research he planned to do at Children's.

“Emily?” Richard cleared his throat loudly. “I asked what you thought about that.”

“Sorry.” She was even more sorry because she had no clue what he was referring to. No matter as he launched back into another recount of the tale. Emily tried to remain attentive to what he was saying, but instead her thoughts drifted back to Lucas.

Where was he? Still at the hospital or had he perhaps made plans with someone else?

Why had he asked her to go eat? They'd worked together amicably enough that day. She hadn't run off when he'd shown up on the unit, which was what she gathered his purpose in buying her bachelorette date had been. What would be the point in going to eat a second time?

Her phone buzzed in her purse that sat in the chair beside her. While keeping her gaze trained on Richard, she slid the purse into her lap and removed the phone. With a quick swipe of her finger she opened the screen, glanced down and hit the message button. She didn't recognize the number, but she knew who the message was from.

You look bored.

How do you know?
she typed back.

Just hungry and ended up at the same place as you.

Hard to believe that's coincidental.

Yet it is.

“Emily, am I boring you?”

She glanced up at the man across the table from her. “Sorry, I had a message I needed to answer.”

“Work?”

Heat flooded her face. “Yes, someone from work.”

Oops. Sorry. Someone looks upset. Guess I better quit bothering you.

Yes, you should.

You should have said yes when I asked you to dinner.

Why?

Because you'd be having a better time.

With you? I don't think so.

We should test that theory. Don't make plans with him tomorrow night.

Leave me alone, Lucas.

Please.

Ugh. There was that word again. When had he learned to use it so proficiently?

“Everything okay?” Richard asked, causing her to glance up from her phone.

“Yeah, just had a long day today.”

“Anything you want to talk about?”

“No,” she admitted, realizing she didn't want to tell Richard about her day.

“Were you out that late last night? No one forced you to participate in the fund-raiser,” he reminded her, his voice full of condemnation. Again.

“No, I wasn't out that late last night, and no one forced you to let someone else win my bid.”

Ouch. Had she really just said that out loud? She hadn't meant to. She'd meant to keep her feelings quietly under wraps. Even if Lucas had pointed it out. Even if Lucas was probably watching her argue with Richard.

Richard's lips compressed into a tight line. “If you'd wanted me to buy your bid, you should have told me.”

Practical. Logical. Infuriating.

“Really? I shouldn't have to tell you that I wanted you, the man I'm dating, to win my bid.”

His voice had taken on a truly confused tone. “Then how was I supposed to know?”

“You shouldn't want me going to dinner with another man.”

“I don't want you going to dinner with another man, but you went anyway.”

“Then you should have bought my date so I wouldn't have had to.” She pushed her plate away. “I'm tired and ready to go home.”

He frowned but put his napkin down. “We can leave as soon as I pay the bill.”

“Good. Great. The sooner the better.”

Why, oh, why did it bother her so much that he tipped their waitress to the exact penny of the recommended amount?

She'd barely had a couple of conversations with Lucas and he'd already managed to make her question her relationship with a man she'd been quite content with.

Content?

Since when was life about just being content?

When did she stop wanting happily-ever-after and the full-blown fairy tale?

She knew. She'd stopped believing, stopped dreaming, when her marriage to Lucas had fallen apart.

She fought to keep from looking around the restaurant to spot Lucas. Where he was didn't matter.