Size Matters (3 page)

CHAPTER
Four

S
O, HOW
was it?” Mia asked, eyebrows raised, as Bryn walked into the shop the next afternoon.

Bryn had seen her friend briefly when she relieved Mia from kid duty the night before, but there hadn’t been time for girl talk. Just as Bryn had walked in, a half-asleep Cammie stumbled down the stairs asking Mommy to tuck her back in. “It was okay.”

“Just okay?” Mia frowned. “What happened? I expected you to be home later than you were.”

Bryn looked around the shop and made sure no one was nearby before lowering her voice and continuing. “It was weird, actually. Have you ever had a guy warn you before sex? Like, about his penis size?”

“No. Did he seriously do that?”

“Yeah. We were getting into it and all of a sudden he stopped and confessed that he’s small.”

“That’s really odd. I’ve never heard of anyone doing that before.”

“I know. Me, either. I made him take me home after that.”

A customer approached the front desk and asked for a bra fitting. Bryn took the woman into the dressing room, relishing the opportunity to think about something other than Eli’s penis confession.

“But did you really not have sex with him because he has a small member?” Mia asked when she returned.

“No, I didn’t even see it. But what he said really messed with my head. I don’t understand why anyone would feel the need to warn someone like that. My vagina dried right the hell up. Like a desert.”

“Why do you think he’s like that?”

“I don’t know. I have no clue how a guy that hot can be that insecure. About anything.” Her brain flashed her a picture of his eyes, that smile. His sexy little laugh. She hadn’t seen the ass naked, but damn, it had been two handfuls of pure muscle. Bryn shook herself back into reality. “The ex has something to do with it. And I was so damn horny, too.”

Mia put her arm around Bryn and squeezed. “Poor Bryn, desperate for some good sex.”

“I so am. I’m surprised I haven’t worn out every vibrator I own and melted the rubber dildos.”

“Oh, it can’t be that bad.” Mia laughed and went back to restocking the shelf under the counter with bags, boxes, and tissue paper for wrapping customer purchases.

“You have no right to laugh. You’re dating an icon of a dick.”

“Hey. That didn’t happen easily.”

Mia was right. Bryn had watched her friend struggle for months with her attraction to Oliver despite his employee status. And she couldn’t forget the lies he’d told along the way. No man was perfect, that was for sure. But it had all worked out for Mia, and now she was blissfully happy with the man of her dreams.

“Are you going to see him again?” Mia asked.

“I’m not sure. I don’t know if I can handle a man who’s that insecure. I’m barely keeping myself and the kids together. I can’t be holding some guy’s hand, too.”

“I hear ya. But don’t give up so quickly. I seem to remember a certain BFF who wouldn’t let me give up on my man.”

“Yeah, yeah. I hear what you’re saying. But I’m not sure I even want anything serious right now. I mean, he’s great, but I think I just need to get out there. Maybe have some great sex without complications.”

“Ha. If you want sex without complications, stick with your fake penises.”

“True. But there has to be some guy who just wants to have fun. Does Oliver have any hot friends without penis-confidence issues?”

“Yeah. ’Cause he asks all his friends how they feel about their man parts.”

“Okay. How about hot? Can we find that out?”

“Sure. I’ll ask if he knows anyone.” Mia finished her task and stood. “You good out here? I need a bathroom break.”

“Yep. Go ahead.”

The woman from the bra fitting approached the counter with an armload of undergarments, ready to cash out. Bryn rang them up, and under the last bra was a Logan dildo in its box. “This, too?” Bryn asked.

The woman blushed and answered with a quiet, “Yes.”

“It’s fabulous, in case you were wondering.” Bryn hoped to relieve some of her customer’s embarrassment. “And he’s the sweetest guy. You’ll have to come meet him at our next meet-and-greet event.” Bryn wrapped the items in tissue and put them into a bag. “Thanks so much. Have a great day.”

“I will.”

Bryn thought for sure she’d seen a devious twinkle in the woman’s eye. It felt good to provide their customers with products they wanted and needed that weren’t so easy to shop for. Classy ’n’ Sassy Lingerie had been built on the principle of providing customers with quality products and catering to all sorts. The changes they’d made over the last few months had only enhanced the shopping experience for their clientele. It felt good to know they were making people happy.

If only she could find a way to make herself completely happy again.

The door chime sounded, and in strode a man in a baseball cap with a vase of brightly colored flowers in his hands. “Delivery for Bryn Harper.”

“That’s me.”

He set the arrangement on the counter, a beautiful array of vibrant yellow sunflowers, orange lilies, some tall blue stuff, and a pink flower she didn’t know the name of. It had to be from Eli.

“Oooh. Are those for you?” Mia was back in the shop. “Read the card!”

Bryn,

Thank you for another wonderful evening last night. I always have fun with you. Hoping we can see each other again soon.

Eli

Bryn handed it to Mia. “What do I do?”

“What do you want to do?”

“The hell if I know.” But she knew what she should do, at least in that moment. “I’m gonna call him.”

“I’ll hold down the fort.”

Bryn closed herself into her office and sat at her desk. Why was it so hard to call Eli and say thank you? She reached for the receiver, but put it back down. Maybe she should practice what she was going to say first.
Thanks for the flowers, but I think we need to cool things down.
That sounded horrible. How was she supposed to express her gratitude for the flowers and end things at the same time? Impossible. So she took the coward’s way out and left her office.

“MOMMY!” CAMMIE
yelled, and ran up to Bryn as she stepped inside her parents’ house.

They still lived in her childhood home in Kenville, just a few blocks away from the house she and Johnny had purchased after Jax was born. She loved the town, the people, the quiet. City life wasn’t for her. It was more Mia. Her best friend liked living in downtown Newford. Plus it was smart to have one of them live close to the store in case of an emergency. Bryn preferred to be near her parents, especially after Johnny died.

She folded her little girl into her arms. “Hi, Baby Bean. How was your day?”

“Fun. Grandma and Grandpa took us to the park. It was really hot so we got to go in the sprinkler pool.”

“Cool.” Sometimes Bryn really hated missing out on fun stuff with her kids, but at least they got to enjoy their summer vacation with their grandparents instead of at a daycare center. “Round up your brothers so we can go home. It’s bath night.”

The little girl ran off, screaming her brothers’ names.

“There’s my Brynny.” Her mom came into the foyer, kitchen towel over her shoulder.

“Kids good for you today?”

“Of course. They told me you went out again last night with that Eli. Two nights in a row.”

Bryn tightened her jaw. Her mom was great, wonderful, best mom and grandma ever, except about this one damn thing. “Yes, I did.”

“How was it?”

Her mother hadn’t asked because she cared and wanted to know if she’d had a good time. She was being nosy. And not in a good way.

“It was fine. Good.” Might as well tell her what she wants to hear. “But I probably won’t be seeing him again.”

“You know that’s for the best. You shouldn’t be dating anyway.”

If it were up to her mother, Bryn would wear black for the rest of her life and hang a Closed for Business sign above her vagina. Bryn breathed deep and closed her eyes for a moment. Just because her mother had outdated beliefs didn’t mean Bryn had to as well. “You don’t know what it’s like to—”

“There are my precious babies!” Her mother ignored what Bryn had started to say and hugged the kids, kissing the tops of their heads. “Love you guys. I’ll see you soon.”

There was no real point in saying how Bryn felt. Her mother would never understand.

BRYN DROVE
the few blocks home, and while one kid was in the shower, she got bedtime snacks for the others. Finally, an hour and a half later, all the children were tucked into bed. Bryn poured herself some wine and started tackling the laundry.

Glass in hand, she grabbed a laundry basket and headed into the basement. Opening the door to her laundry chute, clothes practically leapt out at her. More wine. After another chug, she began sorting the clothing into piles. She reached in and dug her fingers into something hard and crusty. Pulling her hand out, she had a pair of Jaxson’s underwear.

She tried to flatten them out. What on earth would make them like this? Had he had an accident? They didn’t look soiled. Dare she take a sniff?

Bryn had been a mom for almost a decade and was no stranger to any kind of substance that came out of a child’s body. So she took a whiff. Whoa! She knew that smell almost instantly. She stepped back and chugged the rest of her wine.

This couldn’t be happening. He was far too young for that. Right? Almost-ten-year-old boys did not masturbate or have wet dreams. Right?
Oh. My. God.
She was not ready to deal with this. Was her son even old enough to have this going on? More wine.

Bryn left the laundry piles and headed upstairs to refill her glass. What the hell was she supposed to do now? A mom just can’t unsee—or unsmell—that kind of thing. Ignorance was key in this situation. At least for now.

Like she didn’t have enough man troubles as it was.

CHAPTER
Five

H
OW’S IT
going?” Mia asked as she walked into Classy ’n’ Sassy to start her shift.

“Fine. Shop’s been steady. Penny needs tomorrow off. I think my son’s having wet dreams. How are you?”

Mia’s eyes went wide. Even as a kidless woman, she was pretty good at helping out and commiserating, but this was a whole different ball game. “Yikes.”

“I know. He’s not even ten yet. I didn’t know this could even happen now.”

“Yeah. Wow. What are you gonna do?”

“I have no friggin’ clue.” Bryn grabbed the pile of random pieces from last season to prepare for markdown. “These kinds of things were supposed to be Johnny’s department. The girlie things are mine. That was our deal.”

“Can you have your dad talk to him?”

“I don’t know. I’m not sure Jax would be comfortable talking to him about this. I need someone else. A friend.”

Mia grabbed the price gun and started popping out bright pink $9.99 price tags. “Yeah. Someone he trusts.”

“How about Oliver? Jax loves him.”

“Maybe.” Mia’s new beau had very little experience with kids, but he seemed to like hanging out with Bryn’s kids. “I’ll ask if he’d be okay with that.”

“Thanks. I’m finding myself at such a loss. Jax isn’t a little boy anymore who hangs on every word his mommy says. He wants to be with the guys. It’s such an awful time for a boy to be without a father.” Bryn took the sale tags and stuck them over the original ones on the miscellaneous lingerie pieces. “And his birthday is coming soon. I’m completely clueless. What do preteen boys like to do for their birthdays? Clowns and ponies are probably out of the question.”

“Yeah. That’s a safe assumption. Maybe ask him what he wants?”

“Sometimes I can’t even talk to him. He just gets angry and storms out of the room.”

“Are you sure he’s only turning ten and not fifteen?”

Bryn knew her son needed a man in his life. She wanted that for all of them. Even herself. But she wouldn’t settle. Now that she’d gotten the first relationship out of the way, maybe she was heading toward making her family complete again.

“THERE ARE
my favorite ladies!” Gilles waltzed into the shop, head to toe in lime green—even his loafers matched. He set three bags from Café Amore on the front counter. “I brought lunch!”

“Aw. You didn’t have to do that,” Bryn cooed.

“I know, but I love to spoil my ladies.” He set out the to-go boxes. “And we need sustenance while we discuss the fashion show.”

The women pulled up chairs to the front counter. Bryn poured drinks, Mia handed out plates and plastic ware, and Penny brought up her notes on the computer.

“I already filled Gilles in on our retro theme and he loved it,” Penny said. “I want to show him the catalogue with the lingerie we plan on ordering for the show.”

“I’m all for neon, as you can tell.” He smiled and scooped some Caprese salad onto his plate. “And I adore eighties and nineties music. Reminds me of my youth and all the inebriated joy I had back then. The things I’ve seen and done,” he said with a wink, “would make you ladies blush.”

“I think it’s going to be a fabulous party,” Bryn said. “It will be fun to coordinate lingerie with music. We need some really upbeat songs. Maybe some cheeky stuff. I want everyone dancing and singing along.”

“Exactly.” Gilles sipped his soda. “And I’ll have my bartender come up with some kind of signature cocktail for the night. Something tasty and pretty to look at.”

“Love it. And we need favors to hand out. Something people can wear to enhance the party. Are glow bracelets and necklaces lame? Or maybe jelly bracelets and those plastic glasses with the lines across them?”

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea,” Mia said, the voice of responsibility and practicality speaking up. “We need to watch how much money we spend. We already ordered colored condoms and flavored lube samples to hand out. I’m not sure we need more party favors than that.”

“Everyone loves a fun trinket.” Gilles smiled at Mia. “I’ll handle those, honey. Can you just picture the whole crowd decked out in those cheesy eighties glasses? It will be fabulous!”

“But will people even be able to see the lingerie if they’re wearing them?”

“Oh. Good point. I’ll come up with something else then.” Gilles took another bite of salad and dabbed at the corner of his mouth with a napkin. “I do have a serious matter to discuss, though. What about security? I always have bouncers throughout the club, but should I hire extra for the event? I’ve done that in the past.”

Bryn and Mia looked at each other and shrugged. “I don’t know,” Bryn said. “We’ve never had to deal with security issues. I guess we should do whatever you think is best.”

“I’ll talk to my contact at a security company and see what he thinks. A few extra bodies won’t be a bad thing.” He leaned in toward the girls. “Especially when the ones they sent me last time were off-duty police officers. Yum. Tall, muscled, and packing heat. A lethally delicious combination.”

Bryn’s mind wandered to Eli. She’d seen him in his uniform only once, but it had been hot. That whole protector thing was such a contrast to who he was in the bedroom.

“Next on the agenda is the models,” Penny said, interrupting Bryn’s thoughts. “We’ve got Logan, of course, but we’re losing Oliver soon.” She turned to Mia. “Is he doing the show or not?”

She sighed. “I tried, but he won’t do it. It’s probably for the best anyway. We’re not restocking his toy, so this way we won’t have people disappointed when they come in wanting one and we don’t have them.”

“Okay, so are we going to find a new penis model before the show and mold him?” Bryn asked.

“Are you offering yourself up for the interviews? ’Cause I’ve been there, done that, and I’m not going back.”

Bryn had to laugh. Who could’ve ever thought their new business venture would require them to search for the perfect penis? Poor Mia’d had to take on the horrible task of “interviewing” all the guys. So many days Bryn had been insanely jealous of Mia and all the no-strings sex she’d been having with hot models to make sure their penises worked the right way.

“As tempting as that sounds, I don’t think so. I couldn’t even have sex with a man I’ve known for a while. I imagine strangers will be a whole lot tougher.”

“Um. I didn’t actually have sex with all the interviewees . . .”

“You didn’t?” Bryn and Penny said at the same time.

“Oh, I gotta hear this story!” Gilles said leaning in closer.

“I only had sex with Oliver. I just kinda examined the rest.” Mia’s cheeks pinkened. “I’m sorry. I couldn’t do it.”

“But you told me you screwed them all. I thought we were making an educated decision when we chose Oliver and Logan.”

“I couldn’t do it. So I fibbed. Don’t be mad.”

Bryn tried not to be, but she couldn’t help being a little miffed. Her best friend had lied to her. And about something that was pretty important. “You should have told me. I would have been fine with it.”

“No, you wouldn’t. We were barely keeping it together back then. We were all on edge worrying about the shop. This toy line needed to go off without a hitch and I thought keeping that small detail from you was the best way to keep it hitchless. It all worked out, we found two great guys.”

“Yeah. You’re right.” Bryn tried to brush it off, but the lie hurt. She probably should have figured it out herself. Mia had been so against the live testings. It really wasn’t a shock that she hadn’t gone through with them. And if anyone could understand the anxiety of jumping into bed with a new man, it was Bryn. “So we’ll need extra models just for modeling the lingerie, maybe two more, so we have three men total. How many women should we hire?”

“I think you ladies should do it.”

All three of them turned to Gilles and burst out laughing.

“You’re out of your mind,” Mia said first.

“Not happening,” Penny said with a huge grin, but shaking her head back and forth. “I might be all pregnant and bloated by then. Fingers crossed.”

Penny and her husband had been on the baby-making train for a while now, with no luck.

“I have no intention of ever being pregnant again,” Bryn said. “But my body is so not model material.”

“And? How many of the people coming to the show are models? Don’t you think real women should model the lingerie for the real women who will be buying it?”

Damn. The man had a point. “Then should we get real men instead of models?”

“Hell no. I want some man candy to hoot ’n’ holler at.”

“Well, don’t you think the straight men and gay women will want hot women to ogle instead of us?”

“Oh honey. You ladies have no clue how hot you are. I mean it. Stick-thin models have nothing on you three. Seriously. Think about it.”

Was she actually going to give this some thought? Gilles had never steered them wrong before. She trusted his opinions.
I can’
t believe I’m really considering this.

ELI HEADED
back to the police station, ready to end his shift. He’d been on patrol since 6 a.m. after a not-so-great night. He was lucky he caught three hours of broken sleep. He couldn’t stop thinking of Bryn and all the ways he’d fucked it up with her.

He searched out the lingerie shop’s number in his cell and hit send. He hadn’t heard from her since he’d dropped her off at home the other night—not even after he’d sent her flowers. He hoped maybe she was just busy. Or maybe the flower shop hadn’t delivered the bouquet. It might not have anything to do with what he’d confessed.

But that thought is exactly what had kept him tossing and turning all night.

The line picked up after a few rings. “Classy ’n’ Sassy. Can I help you?”

“Hey, Mia. It’s Eli. Is Bryn free?”

“Um . . . I think so. Let me check.”

Yeah. She was checking to see if her friend wanted to talk to him or not. God, did Bryn tell her what happened? Most likely. Women told their best friends everything. Great. Now Mia knew about his small dick, too.

After a few minutes on hold, Bryn’s voice came through the receiver. “Hey, what’s up?”

She didn’t seem all too enthused to be talking to him. And that’s what he’d feared. “Hi. I was wondering if you got the flowers I sent yesterday?”

“Oh. Yeah, I did. I’m sorry I didn’t call. It was a really busy day and then I had stuff to deal with after work with the kids and all. But, thank you. They’re beautiful.”

It could be a legitimate reason, but in the pit of his stomach he knew he was losing her. He needed to fix this. “You’re welcome. Can I see you again? Maybe this weekend sometime?”

“I don’t know. We have so much prep to do for the fashion show. And I’m not sure about a babysitter.”

Sounded like a brush-off. “Can I call you tomorrow?”

“Uh. Yeah. That’s fine. I’ll talk to you later then. Bye.”

And she was gone. Shit. Maybe he should have kept his big mouth shut the other night. But it was too late now. He’d just have to deal with the situation and pray he could salvage what they had, repair the damage his confession had made. He needed to show her he was so much more than a small dick.

Eli left the police station and headed to his ex’s. Sometimes he still couldn’t believe he didn’t live there anymore. He loved that house. They’d designed every last detail together. But man, she’d been a horrendous bitch through that. It should have given him some idea of the monstrosity she had the potential to be.

He rang the bell, which also still felt odd, and Austin came to the door. “Hey, Dad.”

“Hey, bud. You guys ready?” He stepped inside the house.

“I am. But Amelia’s still packing her bag.”

“Okay. Go tell her I’m here.”

Austin bounded up the stairs, leaving him in the foyer alone. Until Kristen walked in. Damn it.

“I hear you’ve been spending a lot of time with that Bryn woman.”

“Yep.”

“So, like, what do you guys do? Do you take her out to dinner all the time?”

“No. Not that it’s any of your business.”

“It is my business. I have a right to know what you’re exposing my kids to.”

“I would never expose them to anything bad. Bryn has kids. We mostly hang out with all the kids. We’ve only gone out alone a couple times.”

“Are you sleeping with her?”

“That’s really none of your business.” He stepped toward the staircase. “Austin. Amelia. Come on, it’s time to go.”

“I’m gonna take that as a no. One time with you and she’ll be ready to move on to someone else anyway.”

What a bitch. He wasn’t going to justify the insult with a response. Austin ran down the stairs followed by Amelia, her pink suitcase behind her, bumping down each stair.

“Hi, Daddy!”

“There’s my sweetheart.” He took the suitcase from her. “Ready to go?”

“Yep. Are we gonna see Bryn and Jaxson and Zach and Cammie?”

“I don’t know. Maybe.”

“Mommy, you should meet Bryn. She’s super nice. You’d like her.”

Kristen flashed her fakest smile for their little girl. “We’ll see.” She pulled her in for a hug. “Be good and have fun. I’ll see you on Sunday.”

After she hugged Austin, Eli followed the kids out to the porch. Kristen was right behind him, her voice low. “I don’t want my kids spending time with some random woman who might not be in your life for very long.”

“I’ve got it under control. They’re my kids, too.”

“They come first. You better remember that.”

God, he was so sick of her attitude. She’d wanted out of their marriage, too, so why couldn’t she just let him be happy?