Sisters in Bloom (Love in Bloom: Snow Sisters #2), Contemporary Romance (23 page)

Kaylie bounced her leg up and down in Dr. Marsden’s waiting room bright and early Monday morning. Between her honest talk with Chaz and discussing her worries with Dr. Marsden, she felt as if she was already starting to see things a little differently, and after this morning’s call from Alex, she could barely sit still.

“Kaylie.” Dr. Marsden entered the room looking just as comfortable and smart as she had during Kaylie’s other visits. Her constant and dependable fashion choices, which Kaylie might have made fun of even as recently as a month ago, were now comfortably familiar.

“Hi,” she said, pushing herself off the deep sofa.

“I think your baby grew over the weekend.”

“That’s for sure. I think she’s having a party in my belly these days.” She followed Dr. Marsden into her office and sat down.

“I have so much to tell you. I swear I never knew why people went to therapists—I mean, not why, but why they were so happy about it when they were working through problems—but now I get it. I was so excited to come and tell you about Danica’s event and my writing, and I thought that was a lot, but there’s more.”

“You are excited. You’re talking a mile a minute. Slow down and breathe. We have an hour.”

Kaylie nodded. “I’m sorry, but this morning I got a call from our band manager. We had been taping our practices, and I had no idea, but I guess he and Trey, our drummer, sent some of our new stuff out, and they got a call. Benton Records, a small record label out of LA wants to sign us.” She tried to keep the squealing excitement from her voice, but she couldn’t control the jump in octave. Kaylie bounced her leg up and down and then tucked her hands under her legs to keep them from shaking.

“Is that what you want? Is that what you’d been working toward?” Dr. Marsden asked thoughtfully.

“Yes. Oh my God, it’s a dream come true. A record label is like…golden. It makes it all real. I mean, we do well with our band and all, but they liked our songs. My songs. The songs I wrote. It’s validation of my talent.”

“That it is. Congratulations,” she said calmly.

“I’m over the moon.”

“Kaylie, that’s wonderful. What does Chaz think?”

Kaylie looked down at her lap, then up again. “I haven’t told him yet.”

Dr. Marsden didn’t push, accuse, or judge. She simply asked, “Why not?”

Those two words were more powerful than Kaylie had anticipated. She knew she’d have to answer. She’d thought about it the entire way over in the car, but she still wasn’t sure herself about why she didn’t have an answer.

“I don’t know. There’s a lot to work out.”

“Like?”

Why are her questions so hard?
“Logistics. I’d have to go to LA right after the baby is born. Travel back and forth while we’re recording.” Kaylie heard the unease in her own voice.

“Is that feasible with a new baby?”

“I think so. Parents travel all the time. We can get a nanny if we need to.”
We can use Chaz’s money
. Kaylie silently chided herself for already overstepping her bounds, even if only mentally.

“A nanny.” Dr. Marsden nodded. “Yes, you could do that. Kaylie, tell me about the weekend. You and Chaz had made a big breakthrough last week. Honesty, remember? How will he react if you wait to tell him about this?”

She shrugged. “I think he’ll be happy for me in general, but he’ll be upset if I keep it from him.”

“Then why are you? Do you want to risk your relationship? Are you having cold feet?”

Am I?
Kaylie moved to the edge of her seat. “I’ve worked so hard, for so long, to get where I am right this very second. I have a record deal at my fingertips. Do you know what it’s like to work your whole life toward something and then…”

“Then what? What are you worried about?”

 “I’ve worked so hard.” Kaylie set her hands on the sides of her belly. “What if after the baby’s born I don’t want to do it? What if I turn into one of those moms whose whole life
is
the baby? What if I’m just like my mom?”

Dr. Marsden waited while Kaylie thought through her feelings. When Kaylie said no more, Dr. Marsden asked, “Would that be so bad?”

Kaylie looked up with tears in her eyes. “I don’t want to be the wife left behind because I didn’t do anything to better myself while my husband grew—emotionally, mentally, career-wise.” She played with the fringe of her blouse. “Did I tell you that we’re terribly rich? Yeah, Chaz just told me this weekend. Oh, and he’s buying out his partners in his festival business.” She looked around the office, uncomfortable with her own thoughts. “I should be thrilled, right? Wouldn’t any normal person be happy about all of this? But how can I make a decision about the record deal when I have no idea how I’ll feel when the baby comes? And what if I decide to just be a mom and then I resent the baby, or Chaz, or even myself, for not taking the record deal? It’s a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.” Kaylie grabbed a tissue from the desk and dabbed at tears that welled her eyes. “And what if the money ruins us?”

“Those are all very viable concerns. Do you really believe this is a once-in-a-lifetime offer? What about your bandmates? How will they feel if you walk away?”

Kaylie hadn’t even factored them into her decision. “I can’t walk away, can I? It’s their careers, too.”

“Kaylie, you can—and you should—make whatever decision is right for you, your baby, and Chaz. Your family should come first with these things. Don’t you think?”

She nodded. “I’ll tell Chaz when I leave here. I guess we should make the decision together.” She sighed. “I’m a mess of emotions right now, but I really did have a great weekend. The event was terrific. Well, except for two teenagers getting into a fight. But I sang like I’ve never sung before, and every breath felt like a new me was being born.”

“And did you give any thought to your concerns about after the baby?”

Kaylie rubbed her belly again. “Yeah, I thought about it, and any way I cut it, I am that girl who will be cranky if I don’t look good. I know that about myself, so that’s just honesty.”

“Good. Okay. That’s the first step. What can you do to help yourself through it? How can you make yourself happy? Remember, you’ll be moving on little sleep, and no matter how much you think you’ll love this baby, when it’s actually born, you’ll love it ten times more than you ever thought you could.”

“I can imagine a lot of love.”

She smiled. “We all can.”

Kaylie looked at the bookshelves, then at Dr. Marsden’s desk. Both were void of photos. Kaylie wondered if she had children of her own, or a husband for that matter.

“I know I’ll be tired, and over the moon with happiness, but I can still do all the things I always did to be healthy and to get my figure back. I’ll eat right. And when the doctor says I can, I’ll exercise.”
What?
She crinkled her nose.

“You don’t like to exercise?”

“I’ve never had to do it before. I guess I’ve just got good genes, but I can take walks, maybe go for a jog or something.”

“That sounds reasonable. And what happens if the weight doesn’t come off?”

Kaylie’s jaw dropped. “I’ve only gained twenty-five pounds. I can lose it.”
Can’t I?
Panic prickled her nerves. “It can’t be that hard. All the actresses lose weight fast. I’ll do it. I know I can.” Kaylie thought about dieting and exercising, and the thought was not appealing in the least. She wondered what she might look like with an extra few pounds on her body. Danica wasn’t really skinny, but she always looked great, and she had to be at least ten pounds heavier than Kaylie. Kaylie tried to picture herself thicker around the middle. “I don’t think I’d look bad if I were to have trouble losing the weight. Besides, I hear that nursing helps, and I planned on nursing anyway, so...”

“You’re a pretty girl, Kaylie. You’re used to being the pretty girl. Who will you be if you carry an extra few pounds?”

Ouch
. “I’d still be pretty. And besides,” she said indignantly, “I’m a fun, interesting person. I’ll still be me, just a bit bigger.”

“And how will Chaz react?”

“He loves me for me. He won’t care if I never lose the weight.”
Will he? Of course not. He’d still love me.

“So?” Dr. Marsden asked.

“Saying all this to you, out loud, seems really silly. I mean, I’ll have a baby. A newborn baby. Even if the weight doesn’t come off, it will have been worth it. And as for Chaz, if he were so lame not to love me because of my weight, then he’s not really worth being with anyway, right? And I guess I would hope that I’d have made a better choice than that.” The words settled around her, and Kaylie realized that she’d spoken the plain and simple truth.

She pictured Chaz as she’d left the house that morning in her maternity shorts and enormous tank top. He’d reached out and smacked her butt as she walked by, told her she looked hot. If she could look good pregnant, then she could look good no matter what.

“I’ll put more pressure on myself than he ever would,” she admitted.

“And why do you think that is?”

Kaylie shrugged, but a piece of her was thinking of her mother, how slim she’d been while Kaylie was growing up, and how her father’s mistress had been even thinner and substantially younger.

“The only thing I’d say to you about that, Kaylie, is that I wonder what else you can discover about yourself. We know that you’re a beautiful girl and that you are talented, but can you tell me what else you like about yourself?”

“I’m nice and funny. I’m a good friend. I love Chaz, and Danica, and Blake.”

“I didn’t mean to answer me now. Just think about it.”

“More homework?”

Dr. Marsden laughed. “A little.”

Kaylie drove straight from Dr. Marsden’s office to Chaz’ office. She breezed through the front door with an easy smile.

“Kaylie, wow, you’re about ready to pop,” Max teased from her perch behind her desk. She came around to give Kaylie a hug. “Listen, I’m really sorry if I caused any confusion about Lea.”

Just hearing that woman’s name sent a chill down Kaylie’s back. That woman was trying to pull Chaz’s strings in too many directions, but somehow, she had become bigger than life, and Kaylie was going to make sure that, in her mind, she became as small as a speck of dust.

Max continued. “That was ages ago, not when we were in Hawaii. And definitely not while he’s been with you.”

Her worry about Lea seemed like it was ages ago, too. “That’s okay. I know. Chaz told me all about it, and I really did appreciate you calling me. Is he in?”

“I’m glad. I was so worried. Yeah, come on back. I need to tell him something anyway.” Max popped her head into Chaz’s door and said, “Excuse me. Chaz? I’ve got the four-one-one on that new sponsor. They’re clean.”

“Great. Sign ’em up.”

Kaylie walked in after Max left and found Chaz sitting at a small table in his office, a stack of documents before him and his hand shielding his eyes. “Hey there,” she said, and touched his shoulder.

Chaz smiled. “Kaylie. Hey, sit down. I’m just going over the partnership agreements.” He pushed them away and focused on her. “How was Dr. Marsden?”

“Great,” she said, fiddling with her keys.

“So, what’s up? Did you want to grab lunch?” He looked at his watch.

“No, it’s only eleven. I just…I need to talk to you about something. Alex got a call this morning. From a record label.”

“Wow, really?”

“Yeah.” She smiled, trying not to concentrate on her racing heart. Chaz’s eyes drew her in, and she knew she had to tell him everything—her fears
and
her excitement. She took his hand, drawing strength from his touch. “They want to sign us,” she said tentatively.

Chaz came around the table and hugged Kaylie. “That’s great! See, all your worries were for nothing. Even they know how great you are.”

She watched him settle back into his chair, his smile reaching all the way to his eyes. “Yeah, but it would mean traveling to LA after the baby is born and then going back and forth while we tape.”

His smile faltered. “LA?”

“Yeah. I guess it’s where their studio is.”

“Kaylie, which label?”

“A small one.
Benton Records
. They heard me singing my songs. My lyrics! I can hardly believe it, but they loved them.”

Chaz wrote down Benton Records on a piece of paper. “Honey, do you mind if I have Max check them out?”

“No, that would be great,” Kaylie said.

Chaz called out the door to Max, “Max, can you check out Benton Records for me?”

“Sure,” Max called down the hall.

“This is great news. I’m so proud of you.”

Kaylie searched his eyes for something, anything that would tell her that he was feigning excitement, that he really did want her to stay home with the baby, but all she saw staring back at her in those gorgeous blue eyes of his was pride. She took her chances and laid it out on the line for him.

“I’m so excited, Chaz. I really want this. I’ve wanted it my whole life. So yes, I want to do it.”

“Okay, then. That’s an easy decision.”

“No, it’s not.”

“Why? This is what you’ve been working so hard for, Kaylie. This has been your dream since the day I met you.”

“What if after the baby comes, I don’t want to go? What if I decide I just want to be with the baby? What if I don’t take it, but then, a month, two months, six months after the baby’s born, I’m resentful of the baby, or you, for not taking the offer?”

“Whoa—”

“Wait, let me finish. What if I go and I do terribly? What if I stay and all I can think about is how much I gave up to stay home? What if I stay home and you get bored with me? Then I’ve given up my career for you and the baby. I’m left in the cold.”

“Like your mother,” he said empathetically.

“Like my mother.”

“I’m not your dad. You’re not your mom.”

Kaylie had heard that so often in the past week that she thought she’d hear it in her sleep. “I know, but anything is possible. Good or bad. It’s a toss of a coin, really.”

Chaz leaned forward, until Kaylie could smell the coffee on his breath and feel the love emanating from every inch of him. “Kaylie, I’ll support whatever decision you make. If you want this, we’ll make it work. If you want to stay home with the baby, we’ll make that work. I can’t promise that you’ll be happy doing either, but what I can promise is to do everything I possibly can to make sure that you never feel like I don’t appreciate you, all that you do for me, and all that I know you’ll do for our baby.”