Sisters Grimm 05 Magic and Other Misdemeanors (24 page)

The old woman lifted the toilet lid. There was the little man, rubbing a red knot on the top of his head and glaring at the crowd.

"What's the big idea?" he growled.

Startled, Granny slammed the lid down just as Sabrina had done. Sabrina, Daphne, and even Uncle Jake cried out in fright and backed out of the bathroom.

"Now do you believe me?" Sabrina said.

"Oh, my!" Granny cried. "I'll never doubt you again!"

"What should we do, Mom?" Uncle Jake asked the old woman.

"Elvis!" Granny Relda shouted.

Seconds later an enormous blur of brown fur barreled up the stairs, knocking a few pictures off the wall as it stampeded into the bathroom and came to a screeching halt. Only then could Sabrina see him properly: Elvis, the family's two-hundred-pound Great Dane. He barked at the toilet fiercely, snarling and snapping at the lid.

"Get him, boy!" Daphne ordered.

"You better surrender!" Uncle Jake shouted at the toilet. "Our dog is very hungry!"

Just then, another door opened down the hall and a shaggy-haired boy in cloud-covered pajamas stepped into the hallway.

He scratched his armpit and let out a tremendous belch. "What's all the racket out here?"

"There's something horrible in the toilet!" Daphne shouted.

"Yeah, I think I forgot to flush," Puck said.

"Not that! A little man," Granny Relda said.

"Oh," Puck said. "That's just Seamus."

"And who is Seamus?" Sabrina demanded.

"He's part of your new security detail. Now that Mr. Canis is in jail, the house needs looking after, and to be honest, I'm too busy to do it myself. So I hired you all a team of bodyguards."

"Why is he in the toilet?" Uncle Jake pressed.

"Well, duh! He's guarding it, of course."

"Whatever for?" Granny asked.

"The toilet is a vulnerable entrance into this house," Puck explained. "Anything could crawl up the pipes and take a bite out of your--"

"We get the idea," Granny Relda interrupted. "What are we going to do when we need to use it?"

"Seamus takes regular breaks and has lunch every day at noon," Puck said.

"This is ridiculous," Sabrina said. "We don't need bodyguards and we don't need you to put some freak in the toilet!"

Puck frowned. "You should really watch who you're calling a freak. He's a leprechaun."

Seamus lifted the lid and crawled out of the toilet. He now had two purple lumps on his head and an angry look in his eyes. "I didn't sign on for this abuse, Puck. I quit!"

"Quit? You can't quit," Puck said. "Who will I get to replace you?"

"Go find a toilet elf. What do I care?" the leprechaun shouted as he stomped down the hall and between the legs of Uncle Jake, leaving a trail of little wet footprints behind him.

Puck frowned and turned back to Sabrina. "Now look what you've done--you've made Seamus quit! Do you know how hard it is to find someone to sit in a toilet all night?"

"How many more leprechauns are in the house?" Daphne asked, peering behind the shower curtain.

"That was the only one," Puck said.

"Good!" Sabrina said, relieved.

"But there's about a dozen trolls, some goblins, a few elves and brownies, and a chupacabra staking out the other vulnerable areas of the house."

Sabrina gasped. "There are freaks all over the house?"

"Again, freak is a really ugly term. It highlights how ignorant you are. This is the twenty-first century, you know," Puck replied.

Sabrina clenched her fist. "I'm going to highlight your mouth, pal."

To be continued......