Sister Wife (23 page)

There's a quiet tapping at the door. I turn and find Rebecca standing there. I'd forgotten all about her.

“I'm sorry, Becca,” I tell her. “I was just helping Mother. I'm coming now.”

Solemnly, she watches Mother from the doorway. She's used to babies and the time and attention they require.

“I'll be back as soon as I can, Mother,” I tell her. She just nods, her teeth clenched and her eyes scrunched shut.

I'm poking my head into the kitchen to let someone know that Rebecca is with me when I hear the front door bang open. Rebecca's hand tenses up in mine. I whirl around
and find Daddy standing behind me, my little brothers cowering behind him. “What are you doing here?” he asks gruffly.

“I came to help out.”

“We can take care of ourselves. You're a Nielsson now. Go help out over there.”

“I am still your daughter,” I tell him quietly. “And Rebecca's my sister. I'd like to take her for a walk.”

“I don't think you're a particularly good role model for my daughters,” he says, grabbing Rebecca's arm and tugging her away from me.

Her eyes well up again. I glare back at my father. “I simply came to help,” I tell him. “And if you want to talk about good influences...look at the way you are making Mother suffer.” I glance at my brothers. “Are you being a good role model for them? Is that how you would have them treat their wives? I don't think you're one to be passing judgment on me.”

Daddy raises his arm and slaps me across the face. The blow causes me to lose my balance, and I trip over Rebecca.

“Get out of here,” he orders.

Rebecca lets out a loud wail. I squat down and wrap my arms around her before Daddy can pull her away. “Be good, honey,” I whisper in her ear. “I love you.”

She grabs onto my leg and clings. Daddy yanks her off me and pulls her into the kitchen. I slip out the door, aware of the stares of my wide-eyed brothers.

I STAGGER STRAIGHT
to the beach. No one is expecting me at Martin's, and I need time alone to think.

I walk straight to the inuksuk. Another one has been added since Rebecca and I were here yesterday. How stupid I've been, building useless statues from river rocks. I don't know what got into me, why I was ever thrilled by the sight of them. I kick the new inuksuk and watch as it topples to the ground. Then I knock over a second one, and a third. I crumple to the ground beside them.

I chose not to leave Unity with Jon because I didn't want to anger my father or desert my mother and my little sister, but here he is angry anyway, and there's nothing I can do for Rebecca or Mother. I've made a terrible mistake.

“What's wrong, Celeste?” a voice asks. I swing around and see the river-boy, as Taviana called him, standing a short distance from me. My face burns with embarrassment, but I have no desire to flee this time. This boy is as stupid as I am, building statues that have no purpose.

I just shrug and continue contemplating the mess that is my life.

“May I sit beside you?” he asks.

“I can't stop you,” I tell him.

Out of the corner of my eye, I can see him remove his shirt, and he places it on the beach and then sits on it. It makes me notice how hard the rock is that I'm sitting on.

River-boy doesn't say anything, but his hands begin building miniature inuksuks on the beach around where he's sitting.

“How did you know my name?” I ask him.

“I met Taviana on the beach in Springdale. I asked about you.”

“Oh.”

We continue to sit in silence, me staring at the river, the boy balancing pebbles.

“My name's Craig,” he says after a while.

I just nod.

Finally the rock I'm sitting on gets too hard, and I get up. My anger has passed, and I'm feeling stupid about knocking over the inuksuk. I begin to rebuild them. A moment later, Craig is beside me, helping. He doesn't say anything.

“I don't think I'm going to be playing this game anymore,” I tell him.

“Okay.” He continues working.

His answer surprises me. I thought he'd want to know why. I assumed that he was enjoying it as much as I was.

I can feel sweat trickling down my back, so I move into the shade of the trees and sit in the mossy area that I'd once shared with Jon. Was it only a week ago that he was here with me? My longing for him has reached a new level. The empty ache is overwhelming. I have to grit my teeth to keep from moaning out loud.

Craig is squatting on the beach, holding a large rock over a smaller one. I watch the steadiness of his hands and how he holds his back so straight. He appears to be in a state of total concentration.

My thoughts return to the first time I spotted him on the beach, building an inuksuk, and how the bare skin of his
chest and back embarrassed me. How far I've come in such a short time. I'm a married woman now. A man's naked body is no longer a mystery to me, and it doesn't seem like something to avert my eyes from either.

Craig's hands leave the rock he's been balancing. It stays in place, precariously perched on the one below it. He wanders around looking for a new stone. Then he squats beside another rock, and he becomes completely still again as he attempts to create another balance.

I wander back to the beach and stand near him. He takes his hands away but the stone tumbles down.

“Oh, too bad!” I say, truly disappointed. I didn't realize I'd been holding my breath.

He looks up and grins. “They're just rocks. No biggie.” He picks it up and tries again, slowly disappearing inside himself, his entire focus on the rock in his hands. I watch as he slowly moves the tip of the rock around the surface of the one beneath it. Sometimes his grip loosens, but then it tightens again. Over and over the loosening and tightening continues, and the rock is moved ever so slightly. Eventually I see him place the rock in a new place, and immediately I know he's found the balance. His grip loosens, and then his hands move away.

“You did it!” I say.

He smiles up at me.

“I thought it was impossible,” I tell him.

“Nothing is impossible, Celeste.” He stands up and stretches his back.

“Why do you do this?” I ask, although something inside me already knows.

He shrugs. “It brings me peace.”

Peace. I gaze into his eyes, which are pools of calm.

“Can you teach me to do it?”

“There's really nothing to teach, Celeste. You simply need patience. Then you feel for the hidden gravity of the stone. It's there. You'll discover it as long as you are patient enough.”

“I don't know...”

“Try it. One of the cool side effects is that it brings you into balance too. You'll feel connected to the earth while you're balancing, with a sense of well-being.”

“All from balancing rocks?” He's got to be kidding.

I expect to hear him laugh, but he just nods, seriously. I hear a beeping noise, and he pulls a metal object out of his pocket and looks at it. “I have to go,” he says. “I hope to see you here again someday, Celeste.” Without another word, he walks upstream and melts into the trees that line the banks of the river.

I find a large stone and scan the beach until I find a foundation rock that pleases me. I squat in front of it, just as Craig did. I hold the stone over the base rock and try to balance it. It feels impossible. The top of the stone is so much heavier than the tip that I can't imagine it ever resting here. I glance over at the balance that Craig just made and see that his looks equally impossible. I take a deep breath, exhale and begin the long process of finding the hidden gravity. Over and over I touch the stone to the one below it. Over and over I can feel that it is not balanced. The sun is hot on my back, and my legs are cramping, but I keep
on moving the stone, letting it rest for just a moment, testing the balance. I forget about the sun. I forget about the cramps in my legs. I can feel that I am getting close to a balance.

And then it happens. Even before I release my hands, I know I have found it. I gently release, and the stone stays in place. It's like magic. I stare at my creation. It looks impossible. But I did it.

Chapter Twenty-Two

J
on has been depressed ever since he saw Celeste at the hospital. Abigail and the boys have tried everything to cheer him up, but all he wants to do is sit in front of the TV and flick through the stations. I guess it helps take his mind off the vision of his father marrying his girlfriend.

I'm not feeling too cheery myself. Abigail has reminded me that I need to find somewhere else to live, immediately. So, in a pathetic attempt to cheer both of us up, I've decided we're going to have a beach day. I'll deal with my homeless situation tomorrow.

We stop in at the library first so Jon can pick up his card. “How many books can I borrow?” he asks the librarian, turning the card over in his hand.

“As many as you want,” she tells him.

His eyes light up for the first time in days, and he disappears between the racks of books.

“Have many people applied for the job?” I ask.

“A few,” she says. “But you have as good a shot at it as any of them, Taviana.”

I nod, trying to look optimistic, but I guess I'm not too convincing.

“What's wrong?” she asks gently.

I hesitate, wondering how much to tell her. “The house rule where I'm living is that we have to be enrolled in school to remain there. I can't go back to school, so now I have to find somewhere else to live.”

She tilts her head, frowning. “Why can't you go to school?”

“I just can't.”

“Do you need help with your courses? There are tutors...”

“No. School is easy enough for me. It's the other kids...”

“Oh.” She nods, understanding. “I know, schools can be hard places...”

I suddenly regret sharing this with her. My confession might hinder my chances of getting the library job.

“Do you have a computer?” she asks.

I shake my head. “Why?”

“You can take courses online if you have access to the Internet.”

“Oh.” I think about that. “Could I use the library computers to take my courses?”

She sits up straight. “I don't see why not. I'll look into it for you on my lunch break.”

“Really? Thank you!”

Jon has returned to the desk, staggering under a huge stack of books. “How are you going to carry all those home?” I ask him.

“A couple of bags,” he says. “I'm a big strong boy.” He puts the books on the desk and flexes his arm muscle.

I put on my most impressed face. “Whooee!”

The librarian checks them out. “I'll call you at home later,” she tells me. “When I get the information on the online courses for you.”

“Actually,” I tell her, “we're going to hang out down at the beach today. I'll just stop in before we head home.”

“Perfect.”

Jon chooses one book to take to the beach. He leaves the rest behind the desk to collect when we return. We walk through town and across the park, looking for a good place to plunk ourselves for the afternoon. I'm reminded of the first time I was here and how I met Craig and Hunter. Perhaps Craig will be making his art on the beach again today. “C'mon,” I tell Jon. “I have something to show you.”

We head upstream, and although Craig's not there, his art is. Jon is as impressed as I thought he'd be, wandering around each rock balance and studying it thoughtfully. I've stripped down to my bathing suit, and when Jon turns back to say something to me, his eyes widen and his face turns a deep shade of crimson. He quickly looks away.

“Get over it, Jon. This is what girls wear to the beach.”

I take the two towels out of my bag. “Want to stretch out on the flat rock in the river?” I ask him.

He doesn't look at me. “I think I'll sit in the shade and read.”

“Suit yourself.” I hand him his towel and wade out into the river. I stretch out on the rock and let the sun do its thing.

The afternoon passes. I dip into the water every few minutes to keep cool. Jon never leaves his place in the shade of the trees, his nose tucked in his book on Inuit culture. His curious mind has been denied stimulation for so long that he'll probably overdose on books for a while. I'm sure Celeste would too, given the opportunity. It's interesting that these two found each other, two kids who, despite their upbringing, were misfits in their own community.

My mind wanders, and I consider my situation at Abigail's. I wonder if she'll consider me enrolled in school if I'm doing the work online. I smile to myself. If this works, my problem of where to live will be resolved. Thank goodness I didn't spend too much time agonizing over it. There's nothing like procrastination.

When I've finally had enough sun, I wade back to the beach and pull my clothes on over my bathing suit. Jon looks up and joins me on the beach again. “Ready to go?” I ask.

“Let's just build an inuksuk first,” he suggests.

I shake my head at him but drop my bag and begin looking for rocks that will make good legs. He's going to have to get over her eventually.

THE LIBRARIAN GRINS
when we push open the library door. “Can I do it?” I ask.

“You sure can,” she says. “And I found and downloaded all the information you'll need.” She passes me an envelope filled with paper.

“Thank you!”

“There's just one small drawback,” she says with a frown.

“What's that?”

“The courses aren't exactly cheap.”

“Oh.”

“Is that going to be a problem?” she asks.

“Maybe.”

“Well, read over the information. Hopefully you can make it work.”

“Hopefully. And now it looks like I'll really need that job here.”