Sister Heart (2 page)

I hate the stinking ship

for sailing me

far

far

far away

I hate the smiley Reverend

for forcing me

on the ship

even though I kicked him

I hate the bully policeman

for snatching me

from the station

when Mum was working

at the out-camp

I am lost

lost

lost

in my saltwater tears

I watch the waves rise

heave

fall

Salty spray

clings to my skin

like a damp blanket

Slowly

slowly

slowly

the big saltwater swallows the land

I spin round and round

crying for land

crying for home

How will Mum find me?

No tracks in the sea

How will I find her?

No signs to follow home

Night brings sleep

Sleep brings dreams

Bad dreams

Good dreams

Tossing and turning dreams

I dream

I am hunting bush food

with Mum and Granny

My little sister rides Mum's hip

and babbles new words

Ssh, little sister!

We won't catch dinner

if you can't be quiet!

Granny points with her stick

Claw marks in the red dirt

goanna tracks

I creep forward

There! Behind a rock

A tail

Little sister squeals

arms stretch wide

big hug for goanna

Dinner runs

Gone!

Aw, Mum

I growl

I'm hungry

I wake crying

rocking

moaning

holding my middle

Not hungry

Sick!

My insides heave

Reverend says

You are seasick

It will pass

when you find your sea legs

A little bread

a little water

will settle your stomach

I don't want bread and water

I want Mum's soft voice saying

Ssh, ssh

you'll feel good by sunrise

Reverend grumbles

Come now child

no more nonsense

Take a little bread and water

In goes bread and water

Out shoots bread and water

The sea is inside me

I am dying

Little bit by little bit

guts stop swirling

head stops spinning

mouth stops spewing

I hold down bread and water

put my feet on the floor

wait till dizzy passes

take a step

Reverend smiles

Your sea legs have arrived!

Not sea legs

My
legs

land legs

What's wrong with him?

Now child

can you say

Thank you Reverend Dale

for helping me when I was sick?

It's good manners

to say thank you

when someone helps you

Why should I thank him?

He stuck me on the ship

I'm sure

if your mother

was here

she would want you to be grateful

If Mum was here

I'm sure

she would whack

whack

whack him

with her fighting stick

Reverend says

Now you're feeling better

would you like to hear a story?

He holds something up

This is a book

This book is called a bible

God's wisdom lives inside this book

I will read you some stories

He reads me the story

of a man named Daniel

who is fed to hungry animals

The story of a man named Joseph

who is dropped into a deep hole

The story of a man named Samson

who is put in chains

This last story is my favourite

It is about a man named Jonah

who is flung into the sea

and swallowed by a whale …

Reverend rests the bible on his knees

stretches his arms wide

A whale is like a giant fish

He loves the story so much

he starts to read it again

I slip my hands

under my curls

cover my ears

block his whining voice

I am not listening

In my head

I'm someplace else

I hear the crack of flaming wood

smell smoky campfire burning

lean against Mum's knee

listen to grannies tell stories

In my head

I'm home

Sea is cold

Ship is cold

I am cold

cold

cold

And afraid

I huddle under a blanket

hug myself

rock

cry

Can't see anyone

they can't see me

Safer in here

Reverend pulls my blanket away

You would try

the patience of a saint

he huffs

You need fresh air

He pulls me up

Fresh air is healthy for children

He drags me with him

I stomp, stomp, stomp!

Stop that!

But I don't

Reverend says

Soon the ship

will stop at our first port of call

Watch for land in the distance

a dot that gets bigger

or a flat hill

I thought the saltwater

went on forever

I hope you find your voice soon, child

Reverend's got that look

on his face again

The snappy look he gets

when I won't speak

How will I know

when you want something

if you won't tell me?

I want to go home

I want to smell warm rock

Run along a sandy creek

with my cousins

Watch flowers grow

after rain comes

Hug little sister

The ship sails and stops

sails and stops

I see land

But I can't walk it

can't dig my toes into the dirt

can't run

Reverend says

We've still got a long way to go

before we reach our destination

The ship sails

and sails

and sails me

far

far

far away

Somewhere

behind the wind

at the back of the sea

is my country

But how do I get there?