Read Siren's Garter: Issue One August 2016 Online
Authors: Miriam F. Martin
Tags: #romance, #suspense, #comedy, #pulp, #humor, #spies, #menage, #urban, #wedding, #work place
Stretching on her toes, she
unhooked it.
And the smaller sauce pan next to
it!
The crash was less than dramatic.
Still much too loud. The pan bounced on the island and clanged to
the floor.
In the dining room, guns clicked
and got loaded.
A blond haired woman with a big
rack and a .357 revolver burst into the doorway.
“
Darling,” she said in a Russian
accent. “You must be Elsie. Call me Molly.”
Chapter
Four
Clutching his hands in front of his
genitals, Kevin’s life flashed before his eyes. Kind of.
Gertrude held the gold plated
revolver in both hands. Straight at his head.
Mostly he thought about how he met
and fell in love with Elsie. Her sweet, easy going manner and her
lovely smile. About last Valentine’s Day when they’d stayed up
until five in the morning rumpling the sheets off the
bed.
Eyes still on him and Brad,
Gertrude thumbed back the revolver’s hammer. The bridal suite
turned a few degrees colder, yet hotter at the same time. A shiver
left goosebumps down his arms. Sweat beaded from his armpits. His
body odor smelled like an over-ripe melon bursting in the hot sun,
and he wished he’d taken a shower earlier.
He hadn’t even noticed while
watching TV.
Kevin never imagined being in this
situation. In his undies, with his potentially future mother-in-law
holding a gold plated gun at his head and asking a tough
question.
He’d been in terrible situations,
with life and death in the balance. Or with big money at stake.
Never half naked. Never threatened by the mother of the woman of
his dreams.
Brad was being no help at all. He
stood behind Gertrude like a kicked puppy, head down, hands clasped
behind his back, teetering from one foot to the other.
But this was Elsie’s mother. The
woman wasn’t a saint, certainly not in Kevin’s limited experience.
She was a tough cookie when he first met her, squeezing his hand
too hard, staring him down with narrow, piercing eyes.
Would she kill him in cold
blood?
Was the revolver even
loaded?
Palms out, Kevin stepped forward.
Gertrude swallowed, narrowing her eyes. He held his
ground.
And tried his best to ignore the
sweat prickling on his spine.
“
I owe Biggins money,” he said,
keeping his voice calm and even, not quite succeeding. All the
practice and experience in negotiating with bad guys hadn’t
prepared him.
Gertrude kept a quiet poker face
behind her gun, as if she had two aces in her handbag. For all he
knew, she had all the cards.
“
Bullshit,” Gertrude said. “How do
you even know Biggins?”
Well. That was complicated. Kevin
opened his mouth, and decided not to spill all the beans just
yet.
He had to pee badly all of sudden.
Again.
Gertrude stepped forward, hot
breath in his face, pressing the muzzle to his chest.
“
You won’t believe me,” said
Kevin.
“
Try me,” she said.
“
I’m a spy.”
“
Government?” Her expression
softened a bit. She was a beautiful woman, with a classy profile
and a well trimmed figure. Like Elsie, Gertrude had a sharp nose,
and a way of staring down people. Like a bird of prey, hunting
small animals.
“
Corporate. I work for a New York
hedge-fund, stealing secrets from their competitors.”
The woman’s brows tightened again.
“Oh? I do love a good spy story.”
“
It’s deadly dull. I swear. I’m
trying to get out of the business. Really. Before I marry your
daughter.”
Okay, Kevin. Keep it cool,
man.
Easier said than done. A lump formed
in his throat, as if somebody had jammed a rock down there and his
gag reflexes weren’t working right.
“
How are you not already dead?”
said Gertrude.
Good question. What was into him?
He stood up to bigger foes than Gertrude. Men who did horrible
things to innocent people. But she was larger than life, even if
her pumps made her a inch shorter than Kevin.
But wow, her hawk face pierced
straight through him. Gertrude’s eyes were steely blue, in contrast
to Elsie’s green.
Icy cold.
Everything else—the high
cheekbones, the strong chin, the pointed brows—reminded him of
Elsie. The mother and daughter were carbon copies of each
other.
Kevin needed to come clean, one way
or the other. With Elsie, for sure, even if it meant losing her. He
couldn’t live with himself any longer, not with this burning
secret.
“
Please,” he said. “Put the gun
down.”
“
Why?” Gertrude lowered the weapon
slightly, so instead of pointing at his chest, it was angled at his
privates. Her expression relaxed, and she sighed. “Do you even know
Biggins’s first name?”
He raised his hands in the air,
shrugging. “My best sources say Mark or Martin. Others claim his
name is Marvin.”
She lowered the gun all the way,
and released the hammer.
Brad leaned against the wall, like
he was about to faint. His face was pasty pale, ghoulish. He let
out a long sigh.
“
Good,” she said.
“
Good?” Kevin relaxed, shoulders
looser.
Gertrude dumped the gun in her
handbag. “I’m glad you don’t know. That would’ve implied what I was
afraid of.”
“
Which is?”
“
That you’re a hit-man. Clearly I
was mistaken.” She straightened the purse, tugging at the strap.
“I’m sorry.”
“
Is Elsie in danger?”
Gertrude wrinkled her nose. “Take a
shower. Be quick. We need to hurry.”
“
You didn’t answer my
question.”
“
I don’t have answers. That’s why
I over-reacted. Again, sorry.”
“
Stop apologizing and tell me
what’s going on.”
“
Biggins is after me, too.”
Gertrude bit her bottom lip. “And I don’t owe money.”
Chapter
Five
Molly was a tall woman, easily had
six inches on Elsie, and the blond woman wore flat patent leather
loafers. She had on a tailored white pantsuit with an open-collar
pink sateen blouse. Her breasts were big as ripe cantaloupes,
pushed up together so they spilled out a little more than a hint.
The button on her suit jacket barely held the ensemble
together.
A man came into the kitchen behind
Molly. He was plain looking, crew cut, big shoulders, gigantic
hands wrapped around a pistol as if it were a toy. The suit he wore
didn’t quite fit right, the pants too baggy, the jacket sleeves too
long.
He had a sexy scar on one cheek.
Otherwise, he could blend into a crowd.
“
What kind of Russian name is
Molly?” said Elsie, hands in the air, heart pounding. She’d been
held up before on the losing side of gunfights. Some things never
really got easier, just blander each time. She took a deep breath,
to calm her pulse and clear her head.
Molly lowered her gun, eyes
flicking up and down Elsie’s body. Assessed her with a cold stare
and a tight curled grin. Elsie resisted the urge to cross her arms
over her chest, to cover her breasts. Better to play along, play
nice, and not get shot while being too cocky.
“
Is this the latest American
fashion?” said Molly. Her accent was thick, but more relaxed now,
more bland and less Russian. The bitch sneered, upper lip raised
stiff, crinkling the otherwise perfectly smooth skin. “Au
natural?”
The big man with the scar shrugged,
gun focused on Elsie, but pretending not to stare directly at her
rack. She pegged him as a goon, but not a cold blooded one. Just a
guy who liked to look, but knew how to use a gun.
“
I like to surprise my house
guests,” Elsie shrugged.
“
Surprise?” said Molly, choking on
a laugh. “You’re house guests? You entertain often, da?”
“
I’m kind of a homebody,
actually.”
“
Elsie, you I like.” Molly lowered
her gun and released the thumb trigger. “But I’m not here for you.
I suggest you leave, now.”
“
And how do you know my name?”
Elsie couldn’t just leave. Not when her mother’s house was broken
into by Russians. Where was her mother? Apparently Molly didn’t
know either. Or she was bluffing, but Elsie didn’t think so. Molly
was too cool and too calm, in control.
“
You ask entirely too many
questions,” said Molly.
“
One of my many faults, you
think?”
The blond woman opened her jacket,
revealing a shiny leather shoulder holster, and put away the gun.
The tight suit didn’t do much to conceal the weapon. She crossed
her hands in front.
“
You have two options,” she
said.
“
Only two?” said Elsie.
“
You can turn and go back the way
you came, and forget we ever met.”
“
Shucks. What’s option
two?”
“
Nikolai and I can take you
hostage until we get what we came for.”
“
And if I run, what stops you from
putting a bullet in my back?”
“
You’ll just have to trust me,
darling.”
“
And you trust me not to go to the
authorities?”
Molly smiled like a reptile about
to swallow a still live mouse. She stepped closer to Elsie, so that
Molly’s boobs were right in Elsie’s face. The Russian woman had on
a strong perfume that smelled of lilacs, which made Elsie want to
sneeze.
Elsie resisted the urge to back
away. Getting killed now wouldn’t help her mother. Worse, Kevin
wouldn’t understand why Elsie got shot. Better to play it safe,
rescue Mom, and stay in one piece to keep Kevin in the
dark.
“
Option two,”
said Elsie. She couldn’t say
I’m
your hostage, please handcuff me to the bathroom radiator.
Too much pride.
“
Smart girl, da,” said Molly. “I
knew you’d make the right choice.”
“
Now what?” said Elsie.
“
Now, you help me find what I’m
looking for.” Molly put her arm around Elsie’s shoulders, like a
big sister being affectionate, except Elsie wanted to scream
inside.
“
The diamonds are in the safe,”
she said. “Downstairs. I know the combination.”
“
Darling,” said Molly. “I’m not
here for the family jewels. I’m here for something of your
mother’s. A black book.”
Damn it! Elsie knew Mom had gotten
into something, even though she had “retired” from the spy business
long ago. But she hadn’t been overseas in a long time, to the best
of Elsie’s knowledge. What trouble had she stirred up?
Molly leaned close to Elsie, the
Russian’s hot breath smelled of chamomile tea and chocolate. She
had lovely, thick lips and full eyelashes. Her eyes softened, full
and round, less cold and more… concerned? No, more like
distraught.
Elsie had bedded a woman once, when
she was in her early twenties during college, and never regretted
it. Sonya had been a blond, sweet as a summer’s day and sassy to
boot. The young woman Elsie knew so well in college had seduced her
with flowers and candy. Later Elsie found out Sonya worked for MI6
and only used Elsie to get access to the university’s science
labs.
The experience forever changed
Elsie’s attitude on relationships and sex, and afterward she
herself got recruited into the spy world. Only Kevin had chipped
through the ice to reach Elsie’s heart.
Elsie tried to untangle herself
from Molly’s grip, but the Russian had a strong arm. The more she
struggled, the more Molly held her tight. Elsie felt helpless in
the woman’s arm, and her stomach tightened at the thought of how
dangerous her captor must be.
“
Where is my mother?” Elsie
asked.
Molly pressed the tip of her index
finger to Elsie’s lower lip. Without turning her gaze away, she
said, “Nikolai. Watch the front window for more
visitors.”
The big shrugged, lowering his gun,
and turned away.
Elsie was alone in the kitchen with
Molly.
“
I will tell you about your
mother,” said Molly, tracing her finger down Elsie’s jaw and
throat. “But first you must do something for me.”
“
You are a sick lady.”
“
Da, this is true. Some might call
me passionate.”
“
Well the answer
is
nyet
,”
said Elsie
“
But darling, you haven’t heard my
proposal yet.” Molly drew in even closer, and brushed her lips on
Elsie’s.
It had been too long since the last
time she’d been intimate. Elsie had sex with Kevin before they
started planning their wedding, and she had convinced him to wait
for it again until after. The separation would make their hearts
fonder, was Elsie’s reasoning.