Sins That Haunt (8 page)

“What's got you so deep in thought?”

Shannon jumped off the rock, her hand flying to her heart.

“D
amn, Noah, blackmail isn't enough for you? You have to scare me to death too? Put a bullet in my head and get it over with.”

Noah watched as Shannon sat back down, curious as to why she'd come up here.

“Sorry . . . and I'm not blackmailing you.” Under federal law he could use trickery or deceit in his investigation, but he really wanted her to stop thinking of it as blackmail.

“What else would you call it?”

“I like to think of it as you making amends,” he argued. It had been the reason he'd given himself on the plane to Vegas. Shannon would help because she'd know it was the right thing to do.

“You see, I've hung around Maggie, the sainted mother, enough to know that if someone is forced into making amends, it's not true restitution from the heart. It's more like a prison term.”

“It's better than going to prison.” It was a dumb thing to say. And if he didn't stop thinking like a fed, he'd get nowhere with her. He took a seat beside her.

She'd have moved over except there wasn't anywhere to go. “You've got nothing on me. And you know it.”

“JJ could've destroyed your career,” he countered. What the hell was wrong with him? Did he need to defend what he'd done so much that he was willing to antagonize her now?

“You're right. He could've, but the file I had on him seemed to convince him to back off. So I didn't need to ensure his silence. Why are you here?”

Good. He wanted to drop the topic of how he'd gotten her cooperation. “I thought we should talk. Before tonight.” He offered her the bottle of water in his hands.

“No, thanks,” Shannon said with enough vehemence that Noah was second-guessing following her.

She was still mad, but he didn't want her thinking he'd pulled her into this as some sort of personal vendetta. He hadn't. Plus, closure over what had happened thirteen years ago, mostly her leaving him without so much as a note, would finally put an end to any lasting feelings, bad ones.

“We went over what you expect me to do. I didn't screw up with Molly and Luther, did I? I won't mess up tonight.”

“I'm not worried about tonight.” He
was
worried. He was taking her into a potentially dangerous situation, but as long they followed the script, Santos would either take the bait or blow them off.

“Then what? You'd better be keeping your word. After dinner I expect to be on a plane home. And find a way to detain JJ's body. No way I'm attending his funeral.”

“I'll see what I can do,” he said, bracing for impact. “But the earliest flight I could get was early evening tomorrow.”

She didn't say anything, which he guessed was far better than expected.

“Fine, tomorrow.” She got up. “See you tonight at six.”

“Wait. We haven't talked.”

She blew out a loud breath. “If it makes you happy to go over it again,” she said, “go ahead.”

“No, Shannon, this isn't about tonight. It's about us.”

“Which us?” she asked, her expression neutral as she folded her arms. “The us whose childhood . . .
thing
you dismissed in less time than it took you to blink? Or the new us where you threatened to ruin my reputation if I didn't help you? Because I think our newfound relationship puts that
thing
so far into the past that it's void. And I hardly think that the ruining of my reputation
thing
qualifies as an us. I'm going to say we have nothing to discuss.”

She started to walk away.

“You ripped my heart out,” he said before he lost his nerve.

Shannon stopped, her shoulders stiffening.

“You ran away,” he continued. “You left me wondering why the hell I didn't merit a good-bye. I loved you. I thought you loved me too. To know it wasn't true pissed me off. I want to know why. Why, Shannon?”

Slowly, she turned. “You know why I left.”

“Mr. Polanski? Yeah. I get that. But they didn't know you were a part of JJ's scam.”

“I did,” she said, raising her voice. “I did,” she repeated, her tone regretful. “I couldn't stay in the same town as his family, knowing I was to blame for his suicide.” She averted his eyes.

“JJ was to blame.”

“I knew about JJ's scam.”

“And what did he threaten you with if you told?”

“It doesn't matter. I shouldn't have agreed to help him.” She looked up and what he saw broke his heart. Shannon never cried, but those were unshed tears in her eyes.

He was a such a dumb fuck.

“I saw him, Noah.”

“Who?”

“Mr. Polanski.”

“I don't understand.”

“He came into the bogus office JJ had set up in Boston. I was working the front desk, doing the calls, the usual bullshit. No one was supposed to recognize me. JJ promised, a week of my time and I could go home. He needed staff to make the whole thing look real. Buyers were coming in from the city. No one in Tweedsmuir had that kind of money except your parents. And your dad was no fool.”

“But Polanski had bought in and he'd come down?” He'd known the old man had invested after the fact, but Shannon never told him about the visit or how she'd come to learn of the investment. Only that when she came home, she'd gotten hold of a gun.

Shannon nodded. “JJ promised outlandish returns for their initial ten thousand if they in turn promised not to cash in their cash-life insurance policies for five years. By then, he'd be long gone and they'd have nothing. But I overheard him with my father. He said something had happened and he urgently needed the money back.”

“And JJ wouldn't return the money?”

“No. Mr. Polanski sounded so desperate, but JJ, being JJ, convinced him that in five years the policy would be worth ten times his initial investment. When I saw him again I had to tell him it was a part-time job, but it wasn't working out so I was leaving. I didn't know what else to say. That lie . . . That lie came out of my mouth like a practiced con man's. I should have warned him right there, but I couldn't get him alone. I could hear JJ's preaching in my head. ‘There's a sucker born every minute.' And ‘no one forces them to invest, to want something for little or no work.' On some level I always knew he was wrong, but until Mr. P the faces were blank. I didn't want to be like JJ. I was going home to tell Mr. P to pull out before it was too late. That night I told JJ I was out. I was old enough to earn enough money to feed Mom and me and that's all that counted.”

“How did he take it?”

“Better than I had anticipated, or so I thought. I didn't know the real reason he wanted me there.”

She wrapped her arms around herself, looking so vulnerable he knew this would be bad.

“He'd planned a party that night. All I had to do was show up. The next day I could go home. He failed to mention he'd promised me to one of his buddies for helping him out. This crooked finance guy who had a thing for young girls.”

Noah crushed the half-empty bottle in his hands. “Are you fucking kidding me?” If the douche bag weren't already dead, he'd have killed him himself.

“Don't worry,” she assured him with a laugh. “I got out of there real fast.”

But from the sound of it, not fast enough.

“I thought . . . I thought he'd come after me.”

He flicked water off his fingers. “JJ or this creep?”

“Either one. His
friend
wasn't the type of guy people said no to.”

“So you got a gun.” Had she planned on using it or had it been for protection?

“I got a gun.”

He wanted to know the whole story—wanted to bash JJ's head in. But he wasn't her protector. All he could do now was make certain she returned to Vegas safe.

“It was the last time I saw him. Until three months ago.”

“He was some piece of work.”

“To put it mildly,” Shannon agreed. “I realized then that I meant nothing to him. I mean, I always knew he didn't give a shit. But that day proved how much.”

“Why didn't you tell me?” And why hadn't she trusted that he loved her? Even if she didn't love him, she had to have known she could share everything with him. He'd known all the crap JJ had made her pull.

The soft wind rustled the air, blowing long strands of hair across her face. She brushed them away. “I don't know why I told you
now
. It's in the past, and some things need to stay there. Maybe I just need you to understand my state of mind that week. By the time I got on a bus back to Tweedsmuir, Mr. P had killed himself. I never found out why he needed the money, but it must have been too much for him. Even if it had been a legit insurance plan, Mrs. P wouldn't have gotten the money. Maybe he didn't know or understand the suicide clause. Either way, it was the proverbial straw that broke me. My life was shit.” She shook her head. “Worse than shit.”

Then what was he, nothing?

“Maggie had been talking about taking her scholarship and going to California. I couldn't leave my mom alone, but nor could I take care of her for the rest of her life. Or risk JJ coming back for me. Maggie assured me she could convince her mother to help. And she did. Mrs. Hopewell sent me reports—through Maggie of course. I was a kid and so tired of being used that I needed to put myself first. So I did.”

“Your mom never knew where you went?”

Shannon shook her head, circling the tip of her shoe in the dirt. “I had to make a choice. Her . . . or me. And she would have told JJ where to find me. She wouldn't have been able to help herself. I sent money whenever I could. Maggie made her mom promise to keep our secret. Mrs. Hopewell wasn't keen on the idea until Maggie lied and hinted at abuse.”

“She didn't exactly lie.” Shannon may not have been physically abused, but she'd been forced to do things she didn't want to. Damn, and wasn't he doing the same thing? He brushed the pang of guilt aside. They had to close this case. Too much time and money had been invested in it already and this was bigger than both of them.

“I doubt a judge would have seen it that way.”

“You were a minor.”

“Tell that to Mr. Polanski's family.”

Slowly, like he was some skittish deer, she approached and sat beside him again. “The whole thing was kind of an oxymoron. To be happy I had to leave the only thing that made me happy. You.”

His heart clenched at her words. But were they true? “I would've gone with you.”

“I know. That's why I didn't tell you.”

Part of him was relieved to hear he'd made her happy; the other part wanted to strangle her for messing with what they'd had. Sure, they were kids, but he'd say that if it was still on his mind it had been real. “I don't get it.”

“Noah, you had this amazing family. Your mom baked cookies. Mine barely knew how to turn on the stove. Your dad went back to school and became a respected doctor who helped people. Mine helped himself to other people's money. The only thing those two had in common were the big plans they had for us. Only yours were a great university and a bright future, mine a life of crime and who knew what else.”

“You're saying we came from different backgrounds. Big deal. None of that mattered to us.”

“Maybe. But if you came with me, I'd have destroyed your future. I did enough destruction with JJ. I couldn't do it to you too.”

“That's stupid, and you should have let me decide what I wanted.”

“No, you'd have chosen me.”

“Like your life is so bad? You're successful. You seem happy. We could have been too.”

“I am happy. But I hadn't expected to be. Maggie was running to a university education. I had nothing. I graduated high school after she and I left, but I didn't have the money for anything else. I was sixteen. I barely made enough to pay my share of the rent. If Maggie's grandmother hadn't helped, I'd probably still have nothing. She put me through law school.”

“That was generous of her.” There weren't many people who would do that.

“She loved her granddaughter
and
she was stinking rich. But she had a condition. I had to agree to volunteer at the woman's shelter and local YMCA. She helped me and I helped others.”

“Is that why all the pro-bono work?”

“You go snooping into my life?” she asked, nudging him.

“Yes,” he said, completely unashamed.

“Before or after you learned JJ had found me?” she asked, so quickly it caught him off guard.

“Does it matter?” he said, avoiding eye contact like the schmuck he was.

“I do the pro bono because I want to. I changed my major from criminal to civil law. I thought I wanted to put people like JJ away. Then I met women with battles they couldn't fight for themselves. If I can't help them, I have friends who are willing to trade services. Getting others help makes me feel like I'm contributing instead of taking. And if I'd let you come with us, I would have been taking.”

“So you did it to save me from myself? I don't think I like that answer.” It should have been his choice to make. She had no right to make it for him.

“I did it to save you from me. Look, we can't say what our life would be like now if you'd come with me. But I was sixteen. I didn't have the answers. All I knew was I wasn't good for you.”

“Okay. So how are you going to make it up to me?”

“Excuse me?” She leaned away, regarding him like he'd lost it.