Sins of the Demon (17 page)

“I know,” I replied, suddenly all full of warm fuzzies. I cleared my throat, about to embarrass myself by welling up with tears or something equally dorky.

Tessa saved me. “Who was the victim at your scene?” she asked.

I straightened my shoulders and got control of myself. “Her brother. Barry.”

Tessa’s mouth became a stiff line. “Yes. The one who thought you were ready to try heroin at the tender age of fourteen.”

“That’s the one.”

“You’ll pardon me if I’m not consumed with grief over his passing.”

I gave a low snort. “No, I get it.” Even though that brush with death had been a wakeup call for my aunt and me, Tessa would never forgive the man for nearly killing me. Frankly, I was a little shocked that he’d never received a visit from a demon.

I didn’t like the unpleasant thought that popped into my head. Carl had said she wasn’t summoning anymore, but how much did he really know? “Tessa, did you ever send a demon after him?”
Like, very recently?

To my surprise she gave a sharp laugh. “Oh, how I was tempted. But I accomplished far more by sending the narcs after him and making sure he went to jail.”

Reassured, some of the tension eased out of my back. She wouldn’t lie to me about something like that.

“Now tell me why you think there’s something off about his death.” She cast a narrow-eyed gaze my way.

I shook my head. “First I have to tell you about the other death.” I quickly recounted the incident with the car crashing into mine and the driver’s subsequent death. “The driver was Evelyn Stark,” I finished.

She closed her eyes briefly. When she opened them they were dark with sympathy. “She was drunk again?”

“No. At least I don’t think so. But here’s where it gets weird. Both Barry and Evelyn died of multiple strokes.”

Her eyebrows rose.

“And here’s where it gets even weirder,” I said with a humorless smile. “Yesterday morning Eilahn and I were attacked by a
graa
while we were placing wards around the PD building.”

Her eyebrows dove into a dark frown. “Which means there’s another summoner in the game.”

“Right. I don’t know yet how much of a part this summoner has, but I figure my best course of action right now is to track his or her ass down.”

My aunt grimaced. “Not an easy task.”

“What about that librarian you met in New Orleans when you were first starting out—the one who hooked you up with Katashi?”

She sighed. “No, she passed away quite some time ago.” Her brow furrowed in thought. “I’ll get in touch with Katashi, see if he knows of anyone working in this area.” Pain flashed quickly through her eyes and was gone. “He owes me anyway,” she added softly.

I knew Katashi, the summoner who’d trained my aunt. I’d gone to Japan last year for a couple of months to study under him—a complete waste of time and money. He was ninety if he was a day, and a condescending, sexist asshole. I could barely tolerate him for two
months. I had no idea how my aunt had put up with him for close to a decade.

“I appreciate it,” I said.

Her chin dipped in a nod. “I wouldn’t hold your breath waiting for Katashi to respond. You’d best get to your research, if you want to have any chance of results.”

I smiled wryly. “I guess I’d better.”

“Let me know if you need anything,” she said, then looked back to her cards as Carl walked back into the kitchen and sat back in his chair as if he’d never left.

I slipped off my stool and made my escape to the library.

Ages ago—or so it seemed—Ryan had asked me why I summoned the demons. And my reply to him was something flip, on the order of, “Because I can.” But, in truth, there was so much more to it than that. It wasn’t simply the fact that I had this ability. It was the fact that the summoning gave me something in my life that I didn’t have and probably never would have. It gave me purpose and a sense of accomplishment, and it was something that I’d earned. No one had anointed me as a summoner. Other than the innate ability to open the portal, I had to work and learn and study and bleed to get to my current skill level. I wasn’t heir to some incredible power or fortune that had been bestowed upon me, and it wasn’t as if some supernatural accident had occurred that had made me this way—like the stories where a homely girl is turned into an all-powerful vampire or werewolf or some such thing. No, I’d fucking earned this. This power, this ability was mine.

That’s why I summoned the demons. Because I could.

But right now, standing in the middle of Aunt Tessa’s library, I almost wished I couldn’t. Because then maybe I wouldn’t have to deal with this nightmare of a room.

My aunt insisted that there was a method to the madness in her library. And, to her credit, there was something about this place that somehow allowed me to find what I needed to find, even if it wasn’t always what I was looking for. Yet I continued to insist that it could not truly be called a library. Those were places of order, with some sort of system in place for keeping track of the contents. When one thought of a library, one might imagine a room with bookshelves from floor to ceiling, perhaps a table and some chairs. And yes, this room had all that. But the shelves were crammed—sometimes literally—with books, not always with the spine out, and certainly not with even a passing nod to alphabetization or any other comprehensible system. And the tables and chairs were also stacked high—books, papers, and the occasional scroll or big, horking tome. Shoved into the corners were more books, maps, and the occasional curio that I could never tell if it was some sort of valuable artifact or something that had caught her eye at a garage sale. To complete the bizarre image, the room was lit by an enormous crystal chandelier that took up most of the ceiling.

Only one corner of the room was clear—a heavily warded spot that I now knew held a portal of sorts between our world and the demon realm. It wasn’t the type of thing that a sentient creature could come through, but if left unwarded plenty of other things could come through—or be pushed through, as I’d found out the hard way. The best guess was that it acted as some sort of
“pressure valve.” Regardless, we now knew that it needed to stay warded and well-protected. I was perfectly fine with leaving it the fuck alone.

Putting the portal out of my mind, I began my search for anything that might help me figure out how to track down another summoner, as well as any references to humans being summoned to the demon realm. I even kept my eyes peeled for any references to strokes, though with my limited knowledge of anatomy and physiology, it was likely that I’d skim right over something pertinent without even realizing it.

After an hour of pulling books and papers off the shelves at random I’d learned that pineapples are classified as berries, that if one should desire to summon a
nyssor
by the name of Votevha the best possible offering is bacon, and that a whale’s penis is called a “dork.”

Sighing, I did my best to replace everything where I’d found it. Not only was I no closer to finding this summoner, but now I was craving a BLT like crazy. And I didn’t even like tomatoes.

When I came out of the library, Tessa wasn’t in the kitchen. I finally found her sitting cross-legged on a red velvet fainting couch in the front room, with a book in her hand and reading glasses perched on her nose. The boots with the sky-high heels lay in a tumble on the floor in front of the couch. Her eyes flicked up to me and she smiled. “Find anything useful?”

My answer was a shrug. “Hard to tell. You know how it is.”

She pulled her glasses off and folded them closed. “Sometimes it takes a while for things to click into place.”

“Yeah.” I paused, took a seat in an armchair that faced the front window. “Is Carl still here?”

She shook her head, eyes on me. “What’s on your mind, sweets?”

I said it quickly before I could change my mind or lose my nerve. “Do you hate Rhyzkahl for killing my grandmother?” I caught myself before adding “your mother” to clarify. Tessa knew who I was talking about.

Tessa marked the place in the book and set it aside.
Dragonflight
, I absently noted. “There was a time when I did,” she said, voice even. Then a smile flickered across her mouth. “And to answer the question you left unasked,” she continued, “no, I have never felt any sort of anger or ire toward you for your arrangement with the lord.”

Arrangement. That was one way of putting it. I had no doubt Tessa was fully aware what sort of relationship we had. “So, um, you don’t hate him anymore?” I asked, frowning. Would I be so forgiving? I sure as hell wasn’t toward Evelyn Stark. Then again, for some reason it had never bothered me until recently that Rhyzkahl had killed my grandmother. I’d somehow assumed that was a failure of character on my part, but now I couldn’t help but wonder—had Rhyzkahl deliberately suppressed thoughts I might have had about my grandmother? He’d sworn not to compel me against my will, but making sure I didn’t think unpleasant thoughts wasn’t “compelling.” The idea left a sour taste in my mouth.
I have no proof
, I reminded myself.
I never knew my grandmother, and she was involved in dangerous practices.

Great. So either I was a cold bitch, or my lover had been playing tricks with my head. Fucking hell, but I sure hoped a third option came along soon.

Tessa didn’t seem to notice my inner turmoil. She turned her head to look out the window, mouth slightly pursed and forehead creased. She stayed silent for nearly a full minute, but I had the feeling she was choosing what to say in response to my question. I did my best to wait patiently for her answer.

“When I was in the void, I…learned things,” she said, nearly whispering, forcing me to strain to hear her. “I don’t think there’s any way to describe it, because it was more a sense of how things are and how they are meant to be rather than any particular nugget of information. But in the time since I woke I’ve been trying to assimilate it all.” She lifted a shoulder in a shrug and glanced at me with a wry smile. “And somewhere in there I could not maintain my anger at Rhyzkahl.”

“But why?” I persisted.

“Because what he did was necessary.” She shook her head, seemingly dissatisfied with the answer. “I’m sorry, sweets, it’s difficult to explain.”

“Does that mean you’re all right with me being his summoner?” I asked with a touch of disbelief.

She laughed. “Oh, powers above and below, no! But not because of who he is or what he’s done.”

“Because he’s a demonic lord,” I said.

She hesitated, nodded, an odd expression of dismay and resignation whispering across her features before she smoothed them out and answered me. “That’s as close an answer as I can give you.”

I remembered to snap the cuff around my wrist before I stepped beyond the wards, thus avoiding being tackled by Eilahn. I knew the
syraza
was always nearby, but the amazing thing was that I never felt as if I was under any sort of surveillance, and it was remarkably easy to forget about her. As a guardian of someone who was jealous of their privacy, she was perfect.

A wave of queasiness hit me as I drove past a fried chicken stand, and I gritted my teeth against it. Sure, the cuff gave me a great deal of peace of mind, but this constant simmering nausea
sucked
. If pregnancy and morning sickness were anything like this, I wanted no part of it.

A cold stab of apprehension went through me. I’d been blithely assuming the nausea was because of the cuff. Was I engaging in unhealthy denial? Nausea, check. Mood swings, check.
Shiiiiiit.
I’d read enough novels where the woman felt sick and seemed somehow oblivious to the connection between regular booty calls and getting knocked up. I was definitely getting the former.
But I’m also on the pill
, I thought, almost desperately. I’d
slept with Rhyzkahl the night before, but when was the last time prior to that?

At the next stoplight I retrieved my phone from my bag, and pulled up the calendar. Since I was on the pill I had a pretty good idea of my cycle. I chewed my lower lip as I looked at the dates. The pill wasn’t infallible; I knew that. And the dates could
possibly
work out. But it didn’t seem very likely. Still, my gut remained tight as I stopped at a drugstore and bought two pregnancy tests—just to be sure—while praying to any gods willing to listen that I wouldn’t run into anyone I knew. Wouldn’t
that
set the rumor mill spinning!

My luck held, and I made my purchases without anyone but the bored checker knowing. Even made it home without puking. But that’s where my tenuous hold on luck failed me. The crunch of gravel came from behind me as I ran up the steps. I turned, my hand on the doorknob.

The dark blue Crown Vic pulled up and parked next to my car. Ryan gave me a smile as he stepped out, and I fought to give the same in return, hyper-aware of the pregnancy tests in my messenger bag. I glanced down to make sure that the zipper on my bag was closed and spied the cuff on my wrist.
Shit.
I didn’t want Ryan asking about that. He’d worry, or get pissed, or something else I didn’t feel like dealing with. I knew I’d have to tell him at some point…just not right at this moment. Luckily I was inside the wards now. I hurriedly slipped it off, dropped it in the outer pocket of my bag, and shoved the velcro flap down.

The queasy feeling receded as soon as it was off my arm, and I took a deep breath of relief.
Okay, maybe not pregnant after all
, I thought a little shakily. At least I
hoped that was the cause. Still, I planned on testing to be sure.

I yanked my thoughts away from that topic as Ryan approached. I knew too much about him now.
Can he read my thoughts? Even subconsciously?
I was pretty darn sure that Rhyzkahl could, which meant that—if Ryan truly was a demonic lord—he might be able to as well.
Think of something innocuous, like a white wall, or a purple giraffe.
Ugh, I had no experience in trying to avoid having my mind read.
Purple Giraffe. Purple Giraffe!

“Hey, Kara,” he said, smile relaxed and easy as he climbed the stairs. No sign on his face that he was picking up any of my stray thoughts. Instead he cocked his head, smile widening. “You forgot, didn’t you?”