Single Wide Female: The Bucket List Mega Bundle - 24 Books (Books #1-24) (36 page)

There was one item that I’d never even opened. It was a grill that promised to wick away every ounce of fat from whatever food you cooked. From the commercial it made it seem like I could eat anything I wanted. Once I got it home I realized that I didn’t want to eat anything that had all of the fat sucked out of it, so I had shoved it to the back of the closet. I decided to dig it out. When I finally managed to get my hands on it, I gave a hard tug. The entire tower of neglected appliances came crashing down on top of me.

“Sammy!” Max rushed to the closet. I felt the brush of his fingertips as he quickly began to dig me out of the pile of boxes and strange appliances.

“Are you okay?”

I looked into his stunned eyes.

“Present.” I held up the unopened box proudly.

“If you stop by the mailbox shop down the road, they’ll wrap it for you,” Max said.

“Is that how my birthday presents from you always end up wrapped so perfectly?” I asked.

“Maybe.” He winked. “Have fun.”

“I’ll do my best.”

Chapter 4

After Max left, I straightened my hair a bit and then headed out myself.

As I locked my apartment behind me I felt a sense of victory within. In the past I wouldn’t have been so daring as to do things on my own, especially things that were considered “date” activities. Going to a wedding was a date activity in my mind. However, going solo had its perks too. It meant that I would be available to dance with whomever I pleased.

The wedding was at the park—only a few blocks from my apartment. That made it even easier to sneak into. I could just slip in when no one was looking. I was feeling a little exhilarated by the idea, and just the slightest bit nervous. Would I be caught and rejected before I even got into the wedding? That would be a bit of a disappointment, but at least I’d managed to wiggle into my new dress.

I stopped in at the shop Max had told me about and walked out with a perfectly wrapped present.

The sidewalk was crowded with people as usual. Few were dressed as nicely as I was. I noticed a couple of glances in my direction. I had no idea if they were looking at me because I looked nice, or because I was far too overdressed to be walking down the street.

When I got closer to the park I began to notice a few people dressed for the wedding. I kept my head tilted down and slightly to the side so that no one would spot me and try to recognize me. Once I reached the entrance of the park, I noticed that the host of the wedding did indeed have a bouncer. He was probably more aptly described as a security guard. He had a clipboard in his hand and was standing between the entrance of the gardens and the entrance of the park. I waited for a group of women about my age to begin walking toward the security guard.

“Just need to confirm names, ladies,” he said. As he was going down the list of names I whispered to one of the women.

“Do you remember that time Jennifer got sick all over the backseat of my car?” I asked.

“Huh?” the woman I spoke to said.

“Oh, don’t tell me you don’t remember.” I laughed a little.

“I don’t think I do. It must have been a crazy night,” she said.

“It was! Wow, was it wild!”

We began laughing over a shared experience that I was completely imagining.

“Jennifer, do you remember that night?” the woman asked. A woman at the front of the group turned back to look at us both.

“What night?” She looked at me strangely.

I was proud of the fact that I got it right. There was usually at least one Jennifer in a group of women around my age.

“See, I told you it was wild.” I laughed loudly, drowning out some of the names that the security guard was checking off. I created enough of a distraction that he finally just waved all of us through. That was it. I was in. A moment later Jennifer pulled me aside.

“Hey, I just wanted to say I’m sorry about your car,” she said. “I had a real problem with alcohol back then.”

I stared at her for a moment. I hadn’t expected my ruse to be taken so seriously. I had to wonder how many nights Jennifer didn’t remember. I pushed the concern out of my mind as I just nodded toward the stranger and told her not to worry about it.

I was in. I’d made it and I was free to wander the wedding. There was a table near the entrance set up as a place for the gifts. It was piled fairly high. I tried to add my gift to the corner, but it toppled right off. I picked it up and brushed a few blades of grass off the perfect wrapping. I looked for another spot to place it in, but there wasn’t a patch of empty table space left.

I stood on my tiptoes and tried to place the present on top of a stack. As soon as I placed it, the stack began to sway. With a gasp, I grabbed the present and steadied the stack. I decided that the only way I could get the present on the table was to slide one of the stacks over some.

As I was sliding the stack, the priest walked past the gift table. He paused to speak to a nicely dressed middle-aged couple. I guessed that it was the parents of either the bride or the groom. As I was looking in their direction, the stack of presents I was sliding began to tip. I reached out to grab them and in the process brushed the back of my hand across the priest’s backside. When he spun around, the presents were fine and I was standing frozen in fear. He gave me a look that could have withered a sunflower.

“So sorry,” I said and backed away from the table.

As I was walking away, a woman placed another present on the table. When she did, the pile of presents that I had caught collapsed to the ground. There were a few cries of concern as wedding guests rushed toward the toppling gifts. They swarmed around to pick up the presents while the woman apologized profusely. She looked mortified.

I felt bad about it, but I walked away from the mess as quickly as I could. I didn’t want to be thrown out of the wedding before the ceremony even started. I decided it might be best to sit down so I couldn’t cause any more trouble.

Chapter 5

The seating was done very tastefully with white wooden chairs and an ample amount of ribbons. The ribbons were laden with flowers. It was very whimsical and beautiful. Many people had already begun to sit down. I found an empty row and was about to start walking down it. When I stepped into the aisle, I lost my footing on the slick grass. I grabbed the chair beside me to try to stop myself from slipping. When I did I caught the ribbon that was hung on it around my fingers. As I straightened up the ribbon was tugged and broke free from the chair. This caused the ribbon to slump along the entire left side of the aisle.

“What are you doing?” a voice demanded.

I turned around to see a dream in a tuxedo. He had the kind of face that sold cologne and expensive jeans. A square jaw, wide bright blue eyes, full perfectly shaped lips, and cheekbones that could slice bread. The sight of him left me rather breathless.

“Oh, excuse me, I’m so sorry.” I tried to gather up the ribbon and the flowers that I’d pulled off the chairs. I only succeeded in getting the ribbon twisted.

“Just let me get it,” the handsome usher said. He pulled at the ribbon. I tried to let go of it. It would not come off of the palms of my hands. Someone must have thought it was a good idea to use superglue on the ribbon. “Let go,” he said.

I could hear the impatience in his voice.

“I’m trying to,” I said. “It’s stuck to my hands. Don’t pull!”

“Listen, the ceremony is about to start. We have to get the ribbon back on. Just let go!”

“I’m trying,” I said.

He tugged hard at the ribbon. I felt as if I was caught up in a tug-of-war. No matter how hard he pulled, the ribbon wasn’t coming off.

“Unbelievable,” he said.

A woman in a bridesmaid’s dress walked over to us. “What’s going on? Kayla’s going to be walking down the aisle any second.”

“This woman got tangled up in the ribbon and now it’s stuck on her hands.”

“And you think that dragging her down the aisle is the solution?” the woman asked. “Really, Donald, you need to get a brain in that head of yours.”

“I was just trying to fix it.” He glared briefly at the woman.

“As usual, I have to fix everything for you,” the woman said.

I cringed as I realized they either had to be family or in a relationship. Strangers did not fight like that.

The woman reached into her purse. She pulled out a small pair of scissors. With a few quick snips she had the ribbon cut from my palms. There were still a few pieces stuck to my skin. She tied a knot in the remaining pieces of ribbon and added a bunch of flowers to cover it. Then she hooked it over the end of the chair.

“All better,” she said.

“Amazing.” I was quite impressed with her ability to handle the situation so quickly.

“That’s why I’m the maid of honor,” she said. “Do you need help finding your seat?”

I suddenly remembered that I was not even supposed to be at the wedding.

“No, I can find it.”

“Good, then sit. I’m going to make sure everything is perfect for Kayla. Donald, you come with me,” she said. Donald trudged off after her.

As I watched the two walk away I wondered if Max was right about his assessment of relationships and marriage. I hoped he wasn’t. There had to be some happy couples in the world.

As if cued by my thoughts, the wedding march began to play. Everyone that wasn’t sitting hurried to their seats. Kayla appeared at the end of the aisle. She looked stunning in a simple white dress embellished with tiny flowers.

As I watched the bride walk down the aisle, I couldn’t help but feel a sense of envy. It wasn’t for the man she was marrying, or even for the ceremony she was experiencing. It was the look in her eyes. Her smile was filled with such anticipation. Her eyes were glazed with the type of joy that only came from being in love. The color in her cheeks showed just how excited she was.

I wondered if I would ever feel that way. Would this moment ever be mine, or would I always be the one sitting on the sidelines, quietly envious of what was unfolding before me? Before I could let myself wallow too much, I pulled myself out of it. Crashing the wedding was meant to be fun, not meant to be a walk down woe-is-me lane.

The ceremony was a quick one, which I liked. The vows were personal and I thought they were a little on the funny side. The kiss was magical. I sighed contentedly as the couple was introduced as husband and wife.

Max might have a logical argument, but marriage was anything but logical. It was emotional and beautiful. No matter what Max or anyone else had to say about it, I knew that was what I wanted. Of course it was not Kayla’s husband Caleb that I wanted. It was the glow, the secretive smile between them, the celebration of everyone being so happy for them. That was what marriage was.

As the couple walked back down the aisle, everyone stood up to clap for them. I joined in with just as much enthusiasm. They might have been strangers to me, but after watching their union I felt very involved in their lives.

Chapter 6

The reception was being held in the park as well. Several large canopies hovered above tables and chairs. A live band played everything from orchestra music to the latest pop songs. I was looking forward to dancing, but first I wanted to check out the food.

I had a long history of attending weddings. There were weddings of my childhood friends and weddings of distant cousins. I’d even attended a few weddings of customers I knew from Fluff and Stuff. The best part of a wedding—aside from the romance and the happily ever after—was the food. Kayla and Caleb had gone all out by creating a buffet-style meal. Most brides wouldn’t go for a buffet, but this wasn’t chicken nuggets and corn bread. This buffet was loaded with some of the most savory food I’d ever seen.

I walked slowly along the buffet. There was a large variety of foods to choose from. One thing I had learned on my weight loss journey was to mentally balance my food. If I knew I was going to overdo it on a delicious desert, then I would have salad for dinner and maybe even a light lunch if I really wanted the freedom to indulge. I didn’t have to calculate each calorie but I knew the big risks, and when I wanted to take them I adjusted accordingly.

A wedding, however, was a different story. This wedding in particular was a very different story. All of the food looked delicious. I certainly did want a slice of wedding cake and with an open bar, how could I limit my alcohol? It was a real struggle to decide what to do.

I ran my hand over the waist of my dress, reminding myself of how far I’d come. Carefully I worked my way around the biggest offenders—anything smothered in butter and cheese, anything sopping in a cream sauce. In the end, I ended up with a big helping of vegetables, a small portion of meat, and just a little more potatoes than I should be eating. It was not quite a success but certainly not a failure.

I carried my plate over toward the tables that were set up under a large canopy. Immediately I spotted a problem. Each of the seats at each of the tables had a place card. That meant that there was nowhere for a wedding crasher to sit. I assumed that not all of the guests had made it—most of the time there were a few no-shows to things like this.

I decided that I would linger beside the table area until most of the guests had been seated. Then if there was an empty seat remaining I would snatch it. People were so busy talking and milling about that the tables remained fairly empty for quite some time.

I was getting more than a little tired. I leaned back on the pole of the canopy. Within a split second I realized my mistake. Just as the bride and groom were sitting down at the large table beneath the canopy, the entire thing began to tremble.

I stood up quickly. My heart skipped a beat. Was it my leaning against the pole that had caused that tremor? It didn’t seem as if anyone else had noticed. When I stood up, the canopy shivered again. Then it began to slowly sway. Everyone was so caught up in the festivities that no one seemed to notice what was happening.

The bride and groom were raising their glasses to each other in celebration. They intertwined their arms and each took a sip out of the other’s glass. It was a beautiful moment. The photographer was poised to capture it on film.