Singing Heart (13 page)

Shauna just hoped that by the time Sean reached his full manhood Xzan wouldn’t still be so poisoned against the opposite sex that she would break his heart. They were already bonded by friendship. There were far worse things than to begin a relationship based on mutual respect. If she knew her son, the lady didn’t stand a fighting chance once he decided he was old enough to pursue her. Sean didn’t change when it came to someone he loved or something he wanted. If he could control himself long enough to let the poor girl do some healing inside and prove to her that he was a decent man as time passed they might have a beautiful life together. Shauna liked the idea of having Xzan as a daughter-in-law. She would make a good wife and mother. Most of all it was lonely out in the middle of nowhere. It would be nice to have the companionship of another woman nearby that she truly cared about.

Chapter Five

They had stopped early tonight. Snowfall made it impossible to travel any further. Freezing winds had become unbearable. The wagon train huddled around the campfires, quiet, bone weary, more than a bit depressed.

They weren’t making the progress they had hoped for. Winter was setting in sooner than they had anticipated. Xzan helped scrape the dinner plates clean with snow and then sang to the children, a nightly ritual that comforted the adults as well. Lorena was asleep in her arms. Sean took the small girl careful not to wake her placing her in the wagon with his parents who were settling in for the night.

Clearing snow from underneath the wagon they laid out their bedrolls. If you could stay in one spot long enough to build up heat it was bearable enough. Since her fever Sean had treated Xzan like a fragile china doll. Every time she started to lift something heavy or do anything that looked questionable, he’d been there helping her. She didn’t know whether to be grateful or offended by the innuendo that she was a weakling. She ached miserably tonight despite the help he’d given her all day long. It had been onerous for the wagons to move in the snow. Those who could walked until they were numb. Xzan’s skirts had been wet all day. Her legs were frozen. At time’s she’d had to push herself each step against the wind over snowdrifts which after awhile had began to feel like small mountains.

She lay warm in dry clothes adopting, as had the other women a pair of men’s long johns underneath her petticoats staring up at the wooden frame of the wagon above her. Sean was only a few feet away trying to make small talk. Xzan had been subdued since her illness. Not exactly unhappy or withdrawn. But rather thoughtful. Keeping more to herself than before. It bothered him. He missed her cheerful optimism. In an effort to bring her out of her shell he babbled on about anything that came to mind trying to evoke a response hoping to spark her back to life.

She wasn’t paying attention to him. Politely answered now and then. It was eerily still. The wind had stopped blowing. It was so silent you could hear the snoring of weary travelers. She wasn’t sure when she realized something was amiss. It wasn’t a distinct sound. Just a kind of sense that warned her. She shot up instantly afraid. Sean sat up alarmed banging his head on the wooden frame of the wagon.

“
Ow!” he yelped. “What’s wrong?”

“
Shhh!”

She put her fingers to her lips heart beating uncontrollably. Then she heard it. The sound of a bird whistling. There were no birds this time of the year. Only this morning she had commented on how much she missed the wildlife, particularly the birds’ endearing trill. Xzan was out from under the wagon in a flash. Going from wagon to wagon whispering softly. For the first time since their journey began she understood why the wagon formed a defensive circle each night.

Robert and his sons loaded their guns swiftly, as did the other men who crept out from their wagon’s silently. The women and children hid behind anything they could find. Shauna always calm in a crises held Lorena and Richard tightly in her arms concerned only for their lives against a much bigger foe than they had encountered before. Before they saw the Indians or heard the war cries their arrows were already flying in the air. The camp was prepared. It was the most terrifying sight she’d ever seen. There were hundreds of them on horseback and foot running as fast as their legs would carry them. Her heart lurched incredulously when she saw the leader in front.

It was him! She’d thought he was only a dream. A guardian angel that came to her in times of need. There was no mistaking the wolf’s head or the face even though it had been painted with strange lines. She had to get to him without being killed in the crossfire. Somehow she knew that if he saw her they would be left alone unhurt. Acting on pure instinct before anyone could stop her she ran out from between the wagons directly towards him screaming.

“
No! Stop!”

The Indians startled by the white woman’s irrational behavior momentarily ceased their attack. The wagon train just as baffled desisted in their attack. The man poised to draw another arrow reacted instantly when he saw her yelling to his brothers. At the same moment she cried out to her people. A young man with hair the color of the sun ran towards her. She shouted for him to stay back. He halted in mid-stride unsure of what course of action to take. Every step seemed like ten the snow was so perilously thick. She approached him hindered by her skirts. Panting with the exertion she blew out clouds of cold breath.

His eyes were light gray as in her dreams. She knew by the flicker of recognition that he’d seen her before too. Xzan didn’t know what to make of it or why they would meet this way. Nor did she have time to dwell on it. All she was sure of was that’s he’d saved her life too many times to take it now. With more resolve she struggled weakly to reach him. She fell unceremoniously into a snowdrift, rose with as much dignity as her shaking limbs could muster, dainty teeth chattering violently. He rode the rest of the way to meet her, swept her up effortlessly to sit in front of him on the Palomino They stared intently at each other for a full minute both at a loss for words each comprehending the significance of their dreams at long last. They were destined to meet.

“
Xzan.” She pointed to herself.

“
Jaskarra!” he put his brown hand across his massive chest proudly. His voice was deep, resonate, almost a baritone.

Her smile was dazzling. She had eyes like the purple flowers that blossomed along the hill in the spring. Her hair was dark like his own but not straight like his people. She was fair and small as a child. As brave as a warrior. Gray Wolf with vengeance in his heart for his wife’s death was startled by his desire to protect instead of kill this woman. She was white. The white must die before they took over the land completely.

Sensing his inner turmoil not sure of what generated it she place a tiny hand over his heart.

“
Please!”

Pleading with eyes like dark luminous pools reflecting emotions so deep it was hard to look into them. He nodded slightly let out a whoop that would have unseated her if he hadn’t been holding her securely. To her vast relief the Indians dispersed as quickly as they had appeared. She touched his cheek as she had so often in her dreams feeling the familiarity. Her fingers trembled with the knowledge.

“
Thank you.”

He swiftly lowered her to the ground understanding if not the words the feelings she conveyed. He rode away without a second glance just as she swooned in relief and the realization of what had just transpired. Sean ran like the wind to reach her scooping her inanimate form up in his arms and raced her back to the safety of camp. When she regained consciousness thirty-two pairs of eyes were watching her expectantly. She giggled nervously then burst out bawling like a baby. Sean uncaring of how it must appear continued holding her in protective arms patting her consolingly.

Unable to explain to them about her dreams which seems insane even to her the grateful travelers accepted her illogical explanation about trusting her woman’s intuition. They assigned men to take turns keeping watch in case the Indians decided to change their minds. Xzan was torn between relief and confusion. She had acted on impulse. Pure animal instinct. What if she had been wrong? What if he hadn’t recognized her? She would have been committing suicide. No one would ever have known why.

The truth was mind boggling. Jaskarra as he called himself, wasn’t just a dream. She wondered if they could communicate consciously now that they each knew the other was real. Or would they forever haunt each other only in dreams? Sean clucked over her like an old mother hen tucking her safely into her bedroll. Sooty lashes fanned delicate cheeks as she concentrated trying to reach out to him with her mind. She couldn’t feel him. She fell asleep in a dreamless world. He had shut her out.

*****

Amazingly enough despite most people’s inclination to be superstitious or fear the unknown, no one shunned her. Xzan was treated with the same courteous respect as before even hailed as a kind of heroine. There were tearful good-byes as the settlers reached their destination a week later and split up to travel on alone to prospective pieces of land where they would make their homes. The Fenierre’s declined her gracious offer to let the family stay at her house. They were going to be at Robert’s widowed sister’s home on the outskirts of town while they made arrangements to build their own in the spring.

“
I’m going to feel lost without you sending me a cup of hot coffee first thing every morning to help me wake up.” She teased.

Shauna looked puzzled. A slow blush spread form Sean’s neck to his forehead until he was bright beet red. Xzan giggled wickedly unable to resist. Shauna opened her arms, leaning down to hug her tiny friend.

“
We’ll see you as soon as we’re settled in.”

Xzan caressed the soft womanly cheek pressed sentimentally against her own. She was nervous about finally seeing her own home. She waved goodbye feeling a little lost as they dropped her off in front of the bank. Mr. Brown had handled all her transactions. The sale of the house, as well as its upkeep until her arrival. They were a week overdue. She hoped he hadn’t given up on her. The thought of walking into a freezing home didn’t appeal to her at all.

The banker was a gentleman in every sense of the word. If he noticed Mrs. Colby’s ragged appearance in the wrinkled black dress or the way her hair was matted from lack of a decent shampoo in the past few months he was kind enough not to hold it against her. He treated her solicitously as if she were the finest lady to ever grace his humble office. Mr. Brown was short and slightly pudgy. His twinkling blue eyes peered out from under bushy white eyebrows. A rounded head boasted a thick wavy mane, slightly longer than was fashionable in England that he kept slicked back severely. He affected her as being a very jolly man, unlike the staid bankers she had dealings with back home. She took to him immediately relaxing as he offered her a chair.

“
So you made it a long last.” He beamed seating himself directly in front of her. “I will never forget my trip out west. I thought I’d been through hell to walk into heaven. All I came to was a rickety old soddy. But after being on the trail for so long it felt like a mansion.”

Xzan agreed with his pronouncement of her arduous journey.

“
I’m just dying to see the house. At this point I’d take a box with four wall to keep the chill out, with a big wooden tub in center full of hot water.”

Mr. Brown chuckled. “No need to go to that extreme. You have acquired a fine piece of property Mrs. Colby. It’s ready and waiting for your arrival. All I need are a few signatures on legal documents and I’ll give you the keys to go home.”

Half an hour later, she walked up to the front gate of her new residence gasping in wonder. It was more perfect than she had dared dream was possible. Built by a man who adored his wife, to last a lifetime. They couldn’t handle the wilderness after a decade, returning East, but the love and care showed in his craftsmanship. It boasted a white picket fence and a wrap around porch with a swing and trellis where honeysuckle vines would bloom in the spring. A bay window and sturdy wooden door with a small stained glass window. She could imagine children playing happily by their mother’s side as she weeded the garden.

Unlocking the door with a skeleton key Xzan’s hands trembled with anticipation. Her effusive eyes shimmered with wonder as she entered in the front hall. To the left was a parlor which opened up into a small kitchen. To the right was the library-den a room she would use to prepare lessons for the children she would teach. Behind the stairwell in the hallway a small guest room and beside it a water closet. Upstairs another hallway. To the left was the master bedroom. To the right a smaller room. It was a mansion out in the middle of nowhere. Cared for lovingly through the years. Her trunks which would arrive tomorrow had been sitting in storage awaiting her accession. Sean had promised to bring her personal items from the wagon to her in the morning.

Tonight she had been considerately provided with a larger woman’s gown, which had been laid out on the foot of her bed. Clean sheets and an exquisite quilt in a double wedding ring design had been folded back invitingly. She silently blessed the thoughtful soul who had cared enough to make her arrival so welcoming. After sleeping on a ship that never stopped moving, then on the cold hard ground all these months this was a miracle to her. One she would never forget.

Running lightly down the stairs two at a time she began heating water on the kitchen stove which like all the other fires warming the house had been recently stoked. There were so many details to observe she couldn’t take it all in at once. The ornately carved mantle over the fireplace in the parlor. Lacy curtains on all the windows. A window seat in front of the bay window in the library. Rows of floor to ceiling bookshelves. A huge redwood desk, with tons of drawers polished to a glossy finish. Bursting with joy she felt her age for the first time in years! Young. Carefree. Thrilled simply to be alive. In another few minutes she would have a bath drawn and wash away the last vestiges of the trail, slip in to gown and crawl atop a feather bed. She knew she would sleep like the dead tonight.