Sing as We Go (45 page)

‘I’ll get off, love,’ Mrs Talbot said, realizing that her attempt at matchmaking was falling on deaf ears. ‘My Dan will be wanting his tea.’

Left alone, Kathy was jittery, anxious for Henry to arrive home so that she could say what she had to say. Waiting was making her even more nervous. She kept glancing at the clock, but the hands seemed to be crawling round. At last, she heard his key in the door and ran lightly down the stairs to meet him in the hallway.

He smiled as he closed the door and held out his arms to her. ‘Does this mean what I think it means? What I hope it means?’

Kathy froze. How could she have been so stupid? Rushing to meet him like that had given him the wrong impression entirely. She had been so full of her own hopes, she hadn’t stopped to think of his.

I’m sorry,’ she blurted out. ‘No, it doesn’t. Oh dear, I didn’t mean to say it like that.’

His smile had vanished and his arms dropped to his sides. ‘I see.’

‘No, you don’t. Look, let’s have our dinner and I’ll tell you everything. You go up and change.’ She knew he liked to change out of his pinstriped suit when he arrived home. ‘And I’ll have it all ready when you come down.’

Henry sighed. ‘Very well, then.’

They ate in silence, though Kathy was only picking at the food on her plate. Though she hadn’t eaten since early morning, her appetite had completely deserted her. But it wasn’t until he had eaten both his main course and pudding that Henry laid down his spoon and looked across the table at her.

‘So – what is it you have to tell me?’

‘I’ll make the coffee and bring it into the sitting room. It – it might take some time.’

Henry raised his eyebrows but did not demur. He rose, dropped his napkin on the table and left the room. For a moment, Kathy stared at the crumpled napkin that he had discarded so carelessly. That would have been my life, she thought. Just acting as his slave. Clearing up after him, pandering to his every whim. Having to do everything just the way he demanded. She shuddered, thinking what a narrow escape she had had. Now it was a decision she didn’t have to make any longer.

But there was still James. What was to happen to her darling boy? Was Henry, as both Tony and Ron had feared, going to turn awkward because she was refusing to marry him?

As she handed Henry the cup of coffee, he said, ‘You’re trembling. My dear girl, there is no need to be frightened of me. Whatever it is you have to say to me, I’m sure we can talk it through like sensible adults.’ He gave a dry, humourless laugh. ‘It isn’t as if our emotions are engaged, now is it? And no one else knows about this. At least, I hope they don’t.’

Kathy smiled weakly and sat down on the sofa. She set her own coffee on the nearby small table and then clasped her hands in front of her. ‘There’s something I have to tell you. I – I haven’t been entirely honest with you.’

‘Oh dear,’ he said, with a slightly mocking air. He too set his coffee down beside him and got to his feet. ‘I think I’d better pour us both a brandy.’

Another few minutes of waiting, while Kathy grew more agitated by the minute. When he handed her the bulbous glass, she took a grateful sip. He sat down again and leaned back in the soft armchair, swirling the liquid around the glass cupped in his hand.

‘Now, off you go. What is on your mind?’

‘I did meet your wife and I hope she counted me as a friend, but I – I wasn’t as close to her as perhaps I made out.’

‘Go on.’

‘You see, I sought her ought deliberately. I found out your address from the files at – at Willow House.’

Henry was listening intently and Kathy could see that his mind was working swiftly. No doubt he was already way ahead of her. But he said nothing. He just sat watching her and swirling the brandy round and round.

‘James is my son. It was a difficult birth and they took him away from me without even letting me see him or hold him or . . .’ Her voice cracked, but she cleared her throat and pressed on. ‘They’d tricked me into signing adoption papers when I was admitted. Of course, we’re not supposed to know who adopts our babies, but I found out and I walked along your road so many times in the hope of just catching a glimpse of him.’ She turned pleading eyes towards him. ‘I want you to believe me that I meant no trouble. Though I never wanted to part with my baby, once I’d met your wife, seen how she adored him and how she was looking after him, then – then I had to admit he was in the best place, even though it broke my heart.’

‘Did you tell Beryl who you were?’

‘Not at first. And I never would have done. I swear I meant no trouble . . .’

He nodded and said quietly, ‘I believe you. Go on.’ But she couldn’t tell from his expression or from his tone how he was reacting to her revelations.

‘I was standing outside the house one day – after we’d already met, I mean – and she came out and invited me in to see the baby. It – it was when I was holding him that she guessed. She suddenly said, “You’re his mother, aren’t you?” I admitted I was, but I begged her not to say anything. I told her what had happened, that I just wanted to hold him – even if it was only once. She understood and she – she was very kind to me. Obviously, she never told you. She sent me a letter and a photograph of him when he was about eighteen months old.’

Henry sighed. ‘Well, she wouldn’t. Obviously, she’d taken a liking to you and didn’t see you as a threat.’

‘I wasn’t.’

‘And she probably thought that if she told me, I’d have reported you.’

Kathy looked down at her hands. Her heart was thudding painfully. There was a long silence before he asked, ‘Why exactly are you telling me this? I had assumed, from what you said when I arrived home, that you are refusing my proposal.’

‘I’m sorry, but yes, I am.’

‘But you don’t want to be parted from the boy?’

Kathy bit back the angry retort that sprang to her lips. His name is James. Call him by his name. But she said nothing, realizing that she must do nothing to antagonize him. Instead, she said quietly. ‘No, I don’t. But there’s more to it now than just that.’ The words came out in a rush. ‘I’ve found him again. I’ve found Tony – the man I was engaged to. James’s father. He’s not dead after all. He was badly burned when his fighter plane was shot down. He’s at Mr McIndoe’s hospital receiving treatment.’

‘And you’re going to marry him?’

Kathy nodded.

Now he understood. ‘I see. And you want to take your boy back?’

Again, all she could do was nod and watch his face.

‘Mm.’ Again the liquid twirled in the glass. There was a long silence before he said, ‘So, after persuading me to keep him so that you could take the post as his nanny, you’re now asking me to hand him back to you?’

Her voice was a hoarse whisper. ‘Yes.’

Another long silence.

‘Well,’ he said at last, ‘You’ve been very honest with me—’ He smiled wryly. ‘At least, now. And in turn I will be very honest with you. I’ve no interest in the child. It was Beryl who yearned for children, not me. And now she’s gone, there’s really no reason for me to keep him. You might think me a cold fish, Kathy, but I’m not completely heartless. I loved my wife dearly. She was the perfect wife for me and I indulged her in her desire for a family. And I thought you were right when you said she would’ve wanted me to keep the boy and bring him up, but what I
now
think is that she would want you to have him. You and his real father. She wouldn’t want me to stand in your way.’

Tears were coursing down her face. ‘Oh thank you, thank you . . .’

Henry swallowed his brandy in one gulp and got up. ‘Please – don’t cry,’ he said coldly. ‘I can’t abide women’s tears.’

Kathy scrubbed at her face with the back of her hand and sniffed. ‘I’m sorry, but I can’t thank you enough.’

‘There’s no need. If I’m honest you’re relieving me of an encumbrance I never really wanted in the first place.’

Kathy stood up. Mindful of his position in the community, she said, ‘You – you’ll want it done properly though, won’t you? Legally?’

He nodded. ‘Of course. I’ll instruct my solicitors in the morning.’

‘There’s no need for Willow House to be involved, is there? I don’t want him to go back there. Please – don’t send him back there.’

‘I wouldn’t think so for a moment. Besides, if what you’ve told me about that place is true – ’ he held up his hand as she opened her mouth – ‘and I’ve no reason to disbelieve you, then I think I might ask my solicitor – who is a good friend of mine – to look into the place. It sounds to me as if it’s not being run properly. Whether they’re doing anything against the law, I’m not sure, but it ought to be looked into. I can’t have something like that going on in my area.’

Kathy almost laughed aloud. It was his reputation he cared about, not the welfare of the unmarried mothers and their children. But she said nothing. At least if it got the authorities to look at Willow House, it didn’t matter how it came about – just that it happened.

‘So – so what about James?’

He shrugged. ‘You keep him. Just let me know your address so that I can send the papers through for you to sign. I expect it would be better if you and your fiancé were married first. Is that possible? I mean he’s not too ill?’

‘No, no. We can be married straight away, and I’m sure the people who’ve looked after James while I’ve been away won’t mind keeping him a little longer. That’s if you’re sure . . . ?’

‘Oh, I’m sure.’ Henry laughed and there was an undoubted look of relief on his face as he added, ‘And you’re welcome to take all his belongings too. All the nursery furniture too, if it’s of use to you.’

‘That’s most generous of you.’

He shrugged and added, ‘It’s of no use to me.’

He turned and left the room, heading across the hall towards his study. Kathy watched him go, feeling a fleeting stab of pity for the man. It probably wasn’t needed. Henry Wainwright would be happy enough in his career and maybe, some day, he’d meet someone else who’d fit his exacting requirements in a wife. But now . . .

Kathy’s legs suddenly gave way beneath her. She sank down on to the sofa and gave way to tears of thankfulness.

Forty-Four

Kathy spent the following morning packing up all James’s clothes to take with her. She would arrange for the nursery furniture to be collected when she knew where she was going to be. Then she called a taxi, thankful that Mrs Talbot was not due to come that morning. She didn’t want to get involved in lengthy explanations to the woman, yet, if she’d been there, Kathy couldn’t have left without a word. The woman had been kind to her. Silently promising herself that she would write to the housekeeper, Kathy carried her cases out to the taxi when it drew up at the gate.

The driver helped her to load them and Kathy climbed in. She took one last look at the house where she had spent the last few months. As the taxi drove away, she did not look back.

‘Is James all right?’ was her very first question. ‘Oh, I can’t wait to see him.’

‘He’s fine, my dear. He’s asleep just now, but let me have a look at you first.’ After their first greeting, Jemima held her at arm’s length and scrutinized her face. ‘You look wonderful, Kathy,’ Jemima greeted her, kissing her cheek. ‘The change has done you the world of good.’

‘Oh, Aunt Jemima, more than you could begin to guess. I’ve so much to tell you, but – ’ she hesitated and the light in her eyes was suddenly overshadowed – ‘if you don’t mind, I ought to tell Morry first. I owe him that much.’

There was an unspoken question in Jemima’s eyes, but she nodded. ‘Of course, my dear. You’ll find him in the cowshed. It’s almost time for evening milking.’

Morry was herding the cows into the byre for milking when Kathy pulled on the spare pair of wellingtons that always sat by the back door and crossed the yard towards him.

‘Kathy!’ The delight showed plainly on his round, beaming face.

‘Morry,’ she said softly and submitted to his bear-hug and a kiss on her cheek. Impulsively, she kissed him back and then wondered if, yet again, her impetuosity was giving out the wrong signals.

‘Morry – dear Morry. I want you to be the first to know, Tony’s alive. I’ve found him.’

‘Alive? Oh Kathy, that’s marvellous. Wonderful news.’ He gripped her hands and his smile was even wider, if that were possible. Kathy searched his face anxiously but there was not a trace of disappointment or resentment, either in his eyes or in his voice. He was genuinely happy for her, and so glad to hear that the young man was not dead after all.

‘Oh, Morry,’ Kathy whispered again as tears filled her eyes and she leant her face against his shoulder. ‘You’re so good.’

‘There, there.’ He patted her back. ‘You know I only want you to be happy, Kathy love. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.’ Unbidden, the image of Muriel’s face came into her mind. She and Morry were so alike in their unselfishness.

And her tears flowed even faster.

‘Now, come along, this won’t do. I want to hear all about it, but you’ll have to come into the milking shed with me. Some of these poor creatures will burst their udders if I don’t get to them.’

Kathy drew back and dried her tears. ‘I’ll help you. I don’t think I’ve forgotten how to do it.’

Morry laughed. ‘I’m sure you haven’t. It’s like riding a bike.’

They followed the beasts into the long shed and herded them into the stalls. Then they sat back to back to milk a cow each so that they could talk. The cowshed was warm and cosy, the only sounds the contented chewing of the animals, the occasional swish of an impatient tail and the staccato sound of the milk spraying into the buckets.

She told him everything and when, at last, she fell silent, Morry didn’t speak for a few moments.

‘I can’t understand why Tony’s mother doesn’t want to see him. Like you, I’d’ve thought she’d have wanted nothing more than to take him home and care for him.’

Kathy shook her head. ‘I don’t understand it either, and I think poor Tony’s bewildered and hurt by it too. His father writes regularly and he’s been to see him, but his mother doesn’t want to know.’

Morry gave a wry laugh. ‘Well, like Aunt Jemima always says, “It’s an ill wind that blows nobody any good.” Mrs Kendall’s not going to ruin your next wedding, is she?’