Sing a Song of Love (8 page)

The night before we were due to leave on tour I rang Ems to say
goodbye and to check all was well with the new baby.  Of course I should have
known Ems wouldn’t have forgotten there was a story to tell and I found myself
blurting out the whole story of the fling in Matapouri right through to him now
being my current boss.

“That’s quite a story Jess and I’m not sure if I think he is
an absolute rotter or should thank him for finally getting your head straight
about Jay.  He should have told you who he was though.”  Ems sounded indignant
on my behalf and I couldn’t help sticking up for Mack.

“Yeh he should have but I think the outcome would still have
been the same.  I don’t know what it is about Mack but all my usual convictions
and values go out the window when he is around.  It is going to be interesting
being on tour with him.”

“So what’s stopping you guys getting to know each other
better?  Is it a no no to fraternise? Or is it something else that’s holding
you back?” 

For Ems love was a black and white affair; if you loved
someone then you should be together.  But it was easy for her to say seeing as
the guy she had fallen in love with was from the farm next door.  And all they
ever wanted was the exact same things.

It wouldn’t be like that for me.  Mack lived on the other
side of the world and I had no idea what he wanted out of life.  But I did know
that for me the thought of not being able to go home to see the family whenever
I wanted would be unbearable.

“It’s not that simple Ems and no, there isn’t any rules
stopping me from having a fling with Mack while on tour.  But that’s what it
would be; a fling, and then he would go home.  He has an amazing career in
Edinburgh and he would be the first to admit that he works every hour that god
gives him.  So where would that leave me, even thinking for one minute that he
would want me to go back there with him.”

I could feel the tears flowing down my cheeks.  I hadn’t
meant to get this worked up and I felt sorry landing this all on Ems lap seeing
as how she had a new baby and all.

“Jess you sound like you are already emotionally involved. 
Why don’t you talk to Mack?  It can’t hurt.” 

“But I don’t even know if he feels the same way.  Anyway the
outcome is always the same.  His life is in Scotland and mine is here.  It will
be fine, I just need to keep my distance and make sure nothing more happens. 
Thanks Ems, and sorry to dump this on you.”

“Hey you don’t need to be sorry; I just wish I had a magic
wand as I’m feeling a bit useless.  I don’t even have any fabulous advice and I
like having fabulous advice to hand out!”

I laughed as Ems has always been the one who has made me
feel better when things felt hopeless.  And it had been good getting this off
my chest as when I had said it out loud I knew I was right.  It was never going
to work.  We chatted for a bit longer about Joseph and with a promise to visit
as soon as I returned, I rang off. 

The next day dawned bright and clear and I felt excited to
be embarking on this tour.  I refused to let the realisation that there
wouldn’t be a happy ending for Mack and I get in the way of what was so far the
highlight of my working career. 

The taxi tooted and I grabbed my bags and locked up the
house before jumping in to head for the airport.  When I arrived I saw Cam was
already there with the rest of the crew and I walked over to join them.

“Hi guys, I’ll just check my bags through and I’ll meet you
in the departure lounge.”

“Sounds good, do you need a hand with your bags?”

“No all good Robbie but thanks.”  I smiled at Robbie and
couldn’t help think for the umpteenth time what a great guy he was.  A
delightful blend of charm and sensitivity and I loved the way he rocked out on
stage with not an ounce of self-consciousness. 

I took my place in the queue and was lost in my thoughts
when I felt warm breath on my face and a familiar voice asking ‘a penny for
them’.

I turned round to see Mack grinning at me and I couldn’t
stop the joy I felt at seeing him again flood my face.

“Oh sorry was a mile away.  I thought you were already
checked through seeing as the boys were here.”

“They went on ahead as I needed to swing by the office to
pick up a few things.  How good is it to finally be on the road?” 

Mack’s excitement was contagious and I couldn’t help but
smile back at him.  It was pretty amazing to think that tomorrow night we would
be performing our first concert. 

“It feels good Mack and seeing the single at the top of the
charts yesterday was a good omen.”

“Rang Edinburgh yesterday and gloated!  When I first told
them about the boys they had serious doubts.  I think they thought I was raving
about them because he was my nephew so hearing them eat their words was a sweet
moment.”

“You wait until you hear the set tomorrow night.  I think
you are going to be impressed.” 

“I heard your final rehearsal yesterday from the recording
box.  It was phenomenal.  The boys in there were singing and tapping along
during the whole performance and that for me is the litmus test of good music;
music that draws you in and forces an interaction.  If you guys can illicit
that response from a sterile studio then it will be magic on stage in front of
a big crowd.’

It was great to hear Mack say that.  We thought we were good
but to have it confirmed took the uncertainty out of the equation and just left
the fun of the performance.

“I think I am about to have the best six weeks of my life.” 
And I couldn’t help myself reaching up and hugging Mack.  It just felt right as
I couldn’t help but think I owed this current success to him.  He hugged me back
and it felt good to be drawn into his warmth and feel his arms around me. 

Funnily enough after we had that chat and hug things felt a
lot simpler between us and the next twenty four hours went by smoothly.  Either
that or we were just so busy there was no time for it to be any other way!

It was fantastic to be in Queenstown.  It was an idyllic
spot set next to an inland lake with the most amazing turquoise blue water that
managed to look not only cold but deep.  The township was nestled at the tip of
the lake and was surrounded by huge mountain ranges that seemed to spring out
of the water in their quest for the sky.  The peaks in summer were still capped
in snow and made for a nip in the air. 

The concert was an outdoor event and the roadies had been
working for the last few days getting it ready and by Friday mid-morning we got
to see the set up for the first time.  The stage was in a dry grassy field that
was dwarfed on either side by mountain ranges and it had the feel of a natural
amphitheatre. 

I looked across at Cam and his face said what I was
feeling.  He grabbed my hands and was twirling me around when I heard someone
calling my name.

I turned around to see Dazz walking over.  His real name was
Darren but he had been nick named a long time ago for his ability to dazzle,
generally the opposite sex.  I had known him for years as he did the
scaffolding for most of the concert sets around New Zealand.

“Thought I recognised that thatch of curls, how you doing
darling?”  And he swept me up in a big hug and kissed me firmly on the lips. 

Normally I would protest at that sort of treatment but with
Dazz it just went with the territory.  He was the biggest, try hard flirt I
knew but he was great for the ego and a really nice guy underneath all the bravado. 
And I always felt better after a dose of Dazz so maybe he was doing us woman a
service.  He sure made us feel like the centres of the universe!

He put me down to catch up with Cam and I looked up to see
Mack looking as black as thunder.  I wondered what had gone wrong to have him
looking like that.

“Jess, Cam; come check out the stage.”  Lance called.

I forgot about Mack’s problems and went to join the guys on
stage.

“Wow this really is something.  It’s like the Glastonbury of
New Zealand!”  Robbie was drinking in the vista of the surrounding ranges and
it really was a majestic view.  They couldn’t have picked a better spot to kick
off the first concert.

“OK let’s see what we sound like out here?”   Lance grinned
round at us as we took our places and then counted us in.

The sound rehearsal went smoothly and when we finished we
organised to head back to Queenstown for a rest before tonight.

“Hey Jess you want a ride back to Queenstown?  I know the
best hot chocolate shop where we could grab a bite to eat.” 

“That sounds fabulous Dazz, it’s a stunning spot but man
it’s cold out here!”

Dazz grabbed my arm and helped me down the steps from the
stage.

“You guys rocked that stage and you looked hot!”  Dazz was
giving me his best smouldering look and I laughed.

“You’re a liar but thanks anyway!”

I had on old jeans, sheepskin boots and a huge, old,
fishermen’s rib jersey which hid layers of thermals underneath.  I looked more
like Michelin man than anything that resembled hotness!

“Jess can I see you for a minute before you leave.”  Mack
barked out.

“I’ll meet you at the car park Dazz. Won’t be long.”  I
walked over to Mack to see what he wanted.

“Don’t you think you should be heading back to the hotel for
a rest rather than heading out on a date?”  Mack looked aggravated and I
wondered again what was happening that was causing him to look so grumpy.  It
seemed so out of character for him.

“Just getting a bite to eat first.  Will be back at the
hotel resting within an hour I promise.  I know you’re probably nervous about
tonight but it’s going to be fine.” I said in an attempt to reassure Mack.

“It won’t be fine if you’re not up to it.  I know about
Dazz’s reputation and I know how quick you are to jump into bed with random
men.  Don’t mess this up Jess.” 

I could feel my eyes start to prickle with unshed tears and
I blinked them away determinedly.  How could Mack say that?  I felt so angry
and stupid for having thought it was anything more than a fling.  Mack must
sleep with different woman all the time so why would he think I was any
different.  I turned around and hurried off determined that he wouldn’t see how
hurt I was.

Dazz looked over at me with concern when I got to the car
park.

“You right darling?  I wouldn’t worry too much about the big
boss.  They always have a bee in their bonnet on the opening night.”  He gave
me a reassuring hug and his kindness almost brought me to tears again.

“I’m fine Dazz and thanks.  Was having a sensitive moment
but your right, Mack is probably just being as ass because he is stressed.”

I tried to shrug his words off as I enjoyed lunch with
Dazz.  It was an amazing café and the served real hot chocolate, made from
melted chocolate and laced with whatever your heart desired.  I had mine with a
hint of ginger and it was heavenly and by the end of lunch I felt back to good
spirits.

“Thanks Dazz that was just what the doctor ordered.”

“I thought you would appreciate this café.  It’s been my
daily ritual ever since I arrived; will have to watch my waistline at this rate,”
he said patting his washboard stomach with a grin.

I laughed at the absurdity of his comment as bodies didn’t
come much better than his and he winked at me and laughed too.

“Glad to see you back to smiles Jess.  Come on and I’ll drop
you back!”

He stopped outside the hotel and came round to open my
door.  After helping me out, he gave me a kiss goodbye and headed off.

I let myself into my room and flopped down on the bed trying
not to go over what Mack had said in my mind again.  I set my alarm for four and
snuggled down to listen to my iPod.

I couldn’t believe I had been such an ass yelling at Jessie
like that.  As soon as the words had left my mouth I regretted my outburst and
I could see how hurt Jess was before she walked off.  I wanted to go after her
but I knew in this mood I was likely to make things worse so I let it be.
Instead I stomped round the set taking it out on everyone whom I came in
contact with.

“What’s your problem Mack?  Or is this your normal opening
night style?”  Lance was looking at me with amusement while the rest of the
crew looked on interestedly.  I think they thought Lance was about to be chewed
up and spat out!  I took a breath and reigned in the emotion I was feeling
before I smiled at Lance.

“Something like that.  Sorry guys!”  I yelled out before I
turned to Lance.  “Thought you would be back resting?”

“I’m too excited to sleep.  Can’t believe you found this
spot for our first concert Mack.  You are the best uncle in the whole world!”

“I’m your only uncle you noggin but I’m glad you like it.  I
came to an outdoor festival here on my first tour to NZ, Strawberry Fields. Was
unforgettable and I remember thinking at the time that the atmosphere of that
day was due largely to this.”  I opened my arms to the valley and ranges behind
me like a priest starting off a sermon.

“It sure is something.  Hope we can do it justice.”  The
tone in Lance’s voice made me look closer and I saw the apprehension on his
face.  I had been so busy being a jealous ass that I had forgotten my promise
to look after the boys.  Of course they had nerves this was their first ever
concert.

“I’m just about done.  What are Josh and Robbie up to? 
Maybe we could head back to the hotel for a spa and massage.”

“Is that the usual before a big concert?  Sounds a bit
girlie!”  I laughed at Lance’s disdainful face as I put my arm around him.

“Come on we’ll round up the boys and I’ll introduce you to
fineries of being a rock star.  Soaks and massages are top of the list!”

Keeping the boys distracted from tonight’s concert was a god
send as it kept my mind off my own troubles.  And by the time we left the spa
we were all in great spirits and ready for the main event.