Sinful Purity (Sinful Series) (41 page)

“Okay, we’ll find more,” Caleb insisted, resolved to his purpose.

“Wait, Caleb. The hooded stalkers—they’re Brennigan’s,” I blurted.

“What do you mean, Brennigan’s?”

“They’re his minions. One of them was driving the car that ran down Zack.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Caleb asked angrily.

“I just remembered. I was kind of a sedated mess before.”

“Oh, right. Well, then we’ll start with them.”

“What?” I asked, still not comprehending Caleb’s plan.

“We start stalking them like they did you. Once we find them we’ll track them back to where they came from. That way we can turn them in to the police. They won’t be able to hide if we know who they are.”

“Zack did say that some of the guys from the seminary wear a lot of black. If they are working for Brennigan, the seminary makes sense.”

“Okay, I’ll start sniffing around the seminary. But first we need to get you and the baby somewhere safe. You can stay at my family’s place. It’s like a fortress. No one will get anywhere near you there.”

“Caleb,” I objected.

“I’ll stay with you, Liz.” Caleb smiled. “You won’t be alone with all those scary chandeliers.”

“That’s not it, Caleb. I don’t even think they would frighten me anymore.”

“Then what is it?”

“I just want to go back to my room.”

“Why? You won’t be safe there.”

“It was the last place I was with Zack. I just want to be close to him,” I confessed as the heartache welled up inside me again.

“Liz, please. If you go back there, you might end up closer to Zack than you intend.”

“Caleb, I need this, okay?”

“All right, Liz. I don’t want to make this any harder for you. But I wish you would reconsider.”

Knowing I wouldn’t give in, Caleb dutifully drove me back to St. Augustine and walked me up to my door. I started to put my key in the lock when he stopped me.

“Liz, let me check inside first.” He took the key from me and unlocked the door. He clicked the light on and looked around. He even checked in my diminutive closet and under my tiny bed.

“All right, it’s all clear.”

“Thanks,” I chuckled, imagining what Caleb thought he’d find in my miniature room—an entire army battalion, perhaps.

“I’m leaving you here like you asked, Liz. But you have to do something for me, okay? You can’t leave this room. You can’t go to class or the cafeteria. I’ll bring you food, all right? You just stay in here with the door locked and don’t answer it for anyone except Lucy or me. Okay?”

“What if I have to use the restroom?” I asked snidely.

“Then call Lucy. She’ll go with you. Okay?” he snapped. “I mean it, Liz. You can’t leave this room alone.”

“All right, I understand. Thank you.” I hugged him, lingering in the comfort of personal contact.

Caleb was so trustworthy, responsible, and moral. He had taken on my plight like it was his very own without a second thought. His selflessness amazed me. Here was this colorful, well-adorned, outcast-looking guy who’d ended up being truly the best, most decent person I had ever known. The irony of it all was that my whole life I had been surrounded with holiness and religious devotion, yet this rebellious guy was more saintly than all of them put together. How could this be? I felt like I was in an alternate universe where tattoos and piercings were symbols of faith and sanctity.

“I’ll be back in a little while. I want to check out that seminary,” Caleb told me as he left.

“Please be careful.” The thought of something happening to Caleb also was just too much for me to bear.

“I will. Just lock the door, okay?” Caleb instructed one last time as he disappeared down the stairwell.

I locked the door as I was told and went to lie down on my bed. I curled up, hugging my knees to my chest, trying to force the emptiness from my body. I never even bothered to cover up. I just lay there on top of the blankets, cold and hollow. I didn’t really know how many hours passed. I drifted in and out of sleep, waking only long enough to cry myself back into a fitful slumber. It was daylight again when Lucy knocked on my door.

“Liz, darlin’,” she called. “I’ve brought you breakfast.”

I stumbled to the door and unlocked it. “Hi, Lucy,” I mumbled as I went to lie back down, exhausted from the stress that I currently called my life.

“You have to eat something, honey. For the baby,” Lucy reminded sweetly.

I sat up and took a bagel and a cup of orange juice from the tray. Taking a small bite, I tried to swallow it down with the pain.

“Liz? Did you ever have the chance to tell him about the baby? Zack, I mean,” Lucy inquired.

Even though the sound of his name pierced me like a spear through the heart, I know Lucy didn’t mean to hurt me. She was only curious, and who wouldn’t be?

“Yes, he knew,” I said faintly as I took another bite.

“I bet he was so happy. I’m sure that he had already fallen in love with the little one.” She smiled kindly, compassion in her eyes.

“Yeah, he did.” For a moment I remembered Zack’s loving face, happy again, smiling at me. For a moment I was at peace, before the image of his bloodied dead eyes flashed in my brain, ripping apart the serenity. I gasped loudly and shuddered at the malicious memory.

“Oh, honey. I’m so sorry. Come here, darlin’.” Lucy took me in her arms and held me as I wept for my lost love and future. Her embrace was surprisingly strong and comforting. For such a tiny fairy of a girl, the strength of her love was crushing. I appreciated every painful squeeze more than I would have thought possible.

After a while Lucy left for class, but she promised she would be back with my lunch. I was sad to see her go. I wished I had allowed her and Caleb to comfort me right after Zack’s accident, the way they had tried to. Instead I’d just pushed them away and sulked back to the desperation and lies of St. Matthew’s. I could have started to heal had I not run from my friends. Instead I was faced with the horror of the true identity of Zack’s murderer. How would I ever be able to forgive myself for putting him in harm’s way? The truth was too much to bear, so I willed myself back to the numbing unconsciousness of sleep.

Lucy brought me lunch and dinner. It had been almost twenty-four hours since I had seen or heard from Caleb. I feared the worst, sure that his fate was no better than Zack’s had been. How could I live with myself after not trying to stop him, to protect him the way he fought to protect me? The tears began again, so strong and unrelenting that sleep was not possible. I could only curl up on my lonely, sad little bed and let the guilt and grief take me.

It was a little after midnight when I felt certain that my mind had finally surrendered to the insanity that had been looming for weeks. Then I heard a knock on my door and Caleb’s voice.

“Liz—Liz. I’m here, Liz.”

Yep, let the men with the straitjackets come take me away.

Crazy or not, I still had to see, so I made my way to the door to peek at my own personal specter.

“Liz, come on. Let me in. I need to talk to you,” the voice ordered.

My imaginary tormenter is demanding and impatient
, I thought with a giggle. At least my insane figments had some personality. Peering through the peephole, I saw a figure who even looked like Caleb. But why wouldn’t it? My imagination would surely be able to create a lifelike duplicate. Wasn’t that why people went crazy, because their hallucinations were so real?

“Liz, this is ridiculous. I can see your eyeball. Open the door!”

“All right!” I snapped. Why not embrace the madness?

“Jeez, what’s wrong with you?” Caleb protested as he pushed past me.

“Can hallucinations touch you?” I asked out loud in my psychosis.

“What? Are you crazy?”

“I don’t know. That’s why I’m asking.”

“Liz, I think you’ve been alone too long. Come and sit down.”

“You’re a very polite apparition.”

“Okay, Liz. I don’t know what to do here. You’re acting a little loopy. Can you try to focus, please? I found the hooded guys. They’re sneaky but they’re real.”

“You found them and you’re still alive?” I dared to hope.

“Yes, Liz. For Christ’s sake, I’m sitting right in front of you.”

“Then you understand my bewilderment. I can’t be sure that you’re, well, you,” I remarked, baffled by my first very real nutty sojourn.

“All right, Liz. Stay with me here. You were right. They are from the seminary. They come and go at all hours. But they just kind of appear here and there. That’s what took me so long. I couldn’t figure it out.”

“Zack,” I interrupted.

“What?”

“Zack was right,” I replied calmly, almost completely detached.

“Okay, whatever. Zack was right. Anyway, what I’m trying to tell you is there are tunnels.”

“Tunnels?”

“Yes, tunnels. They run under the entire campus. I’m not sure where they lead yet. But I went to the engineering department to pull a copy of the school’s original plans and schematics. St. Paul’s is really old, right? Well, a few years ago the board of directors hired an outside contractor to run fiber-optic cable underground to all the buildings on campus to upgrade the technology and communications systems. Someone at the school told the contractor about these tunnels that were hundreds of years old. Instead of digging up the campus, they used the tunnels to run all the cable. Liz, I think that these goons are using those same tunnels to travel undetected.”

“What?” I asked, completely lost.

“They’re not hiding in the shadows, they’re escaping into them.”

“Oh my God!”

“I know, right? Tonight I’m going to follow one of those fools down into the tunnels and see what they’re hiding.” His determination was blinding.

“I’m going with you.” I felt my energy surge with my anger and need for justice.

“No, you’re not. The whole idea is to keep you safe.”

“I’m not letting someone else risk their life for me. I need to take control of my own life for once,” I said with the strength and will that accompany clarity of mind. “My whole life I have been moved around like a pawn
in someone’s game. I need to do this, Caleb. This is my chance to take back my life. I know it’s a little late, but it’s not over yet. I have to do this.”

“Okay, Liz,” he relented. “I’ll come get you tonight. But you should get some rest first, okay?”

Caleb left and I sat there with my mind racing a mile a minute while my body remained motionless. I couldn’t sleep. I was too wound up. My entire body vibrated with nervous energy. As I watched the sun come up over the bright turquoise dome of St. Paul’s, I sensed that this might be my last time to view such a miracle. I knew what I had to do. Caleb would not be happy. But if I went now, I could be back long before anyone noticed I was gone. I had to go. I had to at least try to even the odds, or possibly, just possibly, give us an edge. I went to my closet to grab some clothes, forgetting that I hadn’t done any laundry since Zack’s accident. Scavenging in the leaning pile of dirty clothes in the corner, I pulled out a pair of jeans and a crumpled red blouse. I pulled on my shoes and grabbed my jacket as I flew out the door.

I didn’t know exactly how long it took me to reach Mary Immaculate Queen. I did know I was out of breath and the sun had yet to fully rise by the time I arrived. I threw open the gates and beat on the antique wooden double doors, waiting for entry. The door creaked open, revealing Sister Christine, who was scanning cautiously.

“Mother. I need to speak with you,” I said firmly.

“Mary Elizabeth, I am sure this can wait. Your behavior is very unorthodox,” she scolded.

“Not today, Mother. I am not waiting today. You are going to let me in and we are going to talk. Because we both know that I know.” My voice and demeanor was fierce. Sister knew that I was not bluffing. She opened the door and permitted me to enter.

“Follow me to my office. We will talk there, child.”

I followed Mother up the familiar stairs up to her office, never once wavering in my intentions. I was resolute and in control for the first time in my life.

Sister Christine closed the door behind us. “Begin,” she said.

She didn’t order me to sit like she had always done in the past, nor did she sit herself. There we stood, face to face, adult to adult, equal to equal. I no longer feared her. I had nothing left to fear losing.

“I know the truth. I know what you and Monsignor have concealed. I know your sins, Sister,” I hissed with all the venom of my pain and grief.

“What is it that you think you know, child?” she said condescendingly.

“I know that you are nothing more than Monsignor Brennigan’s lackey. You’re only here to cover up his improprieties, to bury his sins.”

“Is that so? That is a serious accusation, Mary Elizabeth.” Her voice was threatening.

“It is not an accusation. It is the truth. He murdered Zack and you helped him cover it up. Then you poisoned me, like you did the rest of the sick kids. How many, Sister? How many had to lose their life and freedom in your quest?” I snarled.

“It is not like that, Mary Elizabeth,” Sister said calmly.

“It’s Liz! I am no longer one of your precious Marys!”

“Very well. Liz. You need to understand his reasons, child.”

“Reasons? How dare you talk about reasons? My boyfriend—my fiancé—is dead. I just got out of the hospital after being in a coma. All thanks to his ‘reasons.’”

“Mary Elizabeth—Elizabeth. What is done is done. I’m sorry for your loss, I truly am. But my hands are tied. There is still time for you, child. Keep silent and we will never look for you. You must leave. Leave school, leave here, leave Chicago. Go far away and never return. Live your life the way you should have years ago.” It sounded less like a command and more like an offer.

“If I leave and keep my mouth shut, I’ll be free? Be safe? No one will hunt or stalk me anymore?” I wasn’t sure if I should believe her.

“Keep your promise, child, and I will make certain you remain unharmed. Don’t think too badly of Monsignor Brennigan. He only wanted to bring out the best in people. His intentions were good, but his methods were flawed. Don’t let his reputation be soiled unjustly. He is only human and capable of sin too.”