Sinful (2 page)

Admittedly, it was not her finest moment.

Instead, Connor had met Eve’s gaze as she stood by her locker across the hall while Molly smiled up at him, delighted that he’d accepted her invitation to the dance. His eyes had narrowed at Eve, as though he knew she was the one responsible for this further bit of Grayhawk-Flynn monkey business. Then he’d smiled down at Molly as though he was glad to be going to the dance with Eve’s best friend.

To Eve’s dismay, Molly and Connor were going steady by the time Connor graduated at the end of the year. He’d told Molly not to wait for him when he
enlisted in the military, and Eve had felt a flare of hope that they might break up. But Molly called or texted or emailed or wrote Connor every day while he was away learning all the skills he’d need to fight a war.

When Connor was home on leave, he and Molly picked up where they’d left off. He took classes in warfare for two years, and not once was there a break in Molly’s devotion, or in Connor’s, for that matter. With a sinking heart, Eve had realized that once Molly graduated from high school, they were probably going to get married.

Eve had no one to blame but herself. She should have spoken up. She should have said something to Molly about her feelings for Connor, no matter how unrealistic they were. After that freshman Sadie Hawkins dance, it was too late.

Eve stared at the man for whom she’d felt a hopeless love most of her adult life.

Both Connor’s jaw and his fists were clenched. He was trouble looking for a place to happen. But despite all the damage he and his family had caused her and her family in the past, she couldn’t leave him here. She didn’t want her efforts in the bar undone. She made a face. “Get in. I’ll drive you to your truck. Where is it?”

“I left it at the Snow King Resort. Aiden dropped me off in town before he headed back to the ranch. I planned to spend the night with—”

He cut himself off, and Eve realized he’d planned to pick up some girl in one of the many Jackson Hole bars and spend the night with her. He was good-looking enough and rich enough to attract locals, but
it was more likely one of the ski bunnies would have carted him back to her hotel room.

“I have to be in town for court early tomorrow morning,” he explained, “so I figured there was no sense making the drive back out to the Lucky 7 tonight.”

Eve gave him a once-over from head to foot. He stood more than six feet tall and looked rock solid, his broad shoulders braced like a soldier ready for battle. Unfortunately, his impressive fighting skills were hardly likely to impress a judge deciding his children’s fate. He needed to look like good
father
material. “Is that what you’re planning to wear?”

He glanced down at the white oxford-cloth shirt, sleeves rolled up to expose sinewy forearms, comfortablable jeans, western belt, and cowboy boots he had on. “What’s wrong with what I’m wearing?”

“It’s not a suit, for starters.”

“My navy sport coat is on the back of my chair at one of the bar tables. There’s a regimental tie in the pocket.”

Eve stared at the door to the bar, wondering if there would be a scene if they returned for his sport coat. Of course there would be a scene. He was a Flynn, wasn’t he? She sighed. “I’ll take you home, and you can get another one.”

“Don’t bother. I’ll call one of my brothers to come get me.”

“And wait in a bar, I suppose,” she said, pulling her fleece more tightly around her to ward off the chill.
Getting into more trouble
. “Let me take you home. You don’t want the police finding you on the street in this condition.”

“This condition? Meaning what?”

“You’re drunk. And if Buck makes an issue of what just happened, disorderly. You don’t want to give Molly’s parents any more ammunition than they already have to shoot you down.”

“Perfect metaphor,” he retorted. “Because that’s exactly what it feels like they’re doing. Killing me with supposed kindness. I gave them my kids because I thought they’d be the best caretakers while I was gone. Now I have to fight to get my own kids back! And I’m not drunk.”

She shot him a skeptical look.

“It was lime and Coke. No rum.”

“Then why would you do something so stupid as to assault Buck?”

He palmed his eyes and made a guttural sound of frustration. “It’s this custody hearing. I want it over. I want my kids back.”

Eve heard the anguish in his voice and felt her heart wrench. But it was the kids she felt bad for, not their father. While he’d grieved the loss of his wife, Connor had shut himself off from Brooke and Sawyer. When he’d returned from overseas after an absence of nine months—an eternity to children only three and one when he’d left—Brooke and Sawyer had barely recognized him.

Eve knew how hard it was for vets to reinsert themselves into their former lives. Over the past couple of months since he’d returned home, Connor had more than once exhibited questionable behavior, like the attack tonight, which might have ended badly if she hadn’t been there. She could understand why Molly’s parents were concerned.

But she could also see Connor’s side of the issue. He hadn’t been able to take his kids with him while he was serving his country. Now that he was home, and had proved to the doctors that he was of sound mind and body, he had the right to raise his children.

During the months-long custody battle, Connor had only been allowed supervised time with his kids, who weren’t quite sure where he fit into their lives. Their grandparents were the only stable thing in their world right now.

Except for me
.

Eve had spent a lot of time with Molly and the kids while Connor was deployed. Being essentially a single parent of two kids had been a crushing responsibility for her friend, and Eve had more than once taken Brooke and Sawyer for a walk in the forest or on a picnic to give Molly a break. After Molly’s death, she’d done the same for the children’s grandparents. She understood why Mr. and Mrs. Robertson were so worried about Connor wanting to raise two young children, who were just getting to know him again, all by himself.

It might have been different if there was a woman in the Flynn household, where Connor had been staying since he’d returned to Jackson Hole. But it was all men, from Angus on down. After the stand Molly’s parents had taken, if Connor got his kids back, he was unlikely to ask the Robertsons for help.

Molly would have hated the tug-of-war over her children, but she’d left no will stating her wishes, and her parents had argued to the judge that not only was Connor an unfit parent, but that their daughter had
wanted them to care for her children if anything ever happened to her. Eve knew better.

Which was why, despite the hard feelings between their two families, Eve planned to testify on Connor’s behalf in court tomorrow. When her sisters had demanded to know why she was helping a Flynn after all the nasty things they’d done, she’d made it plain that she was only speaking in court to ensure that her best friend’s final wishes were carried out.

Eve sympathized with Connor’s suffering over the loss of both his wife and his children, but his conduct tonight had been worrisome. Was she making a mistake helping him to get custody of Brooke and Sawyer, even if it was what Molly had wanted? She knew he must be terrified that the court would take his children away tomorrow. Surely that explained, even if it didn’t excuse, his overwrought behavior.

“I’d appreciate a ride up the hill to the Snow King Resort,” Connor said. “I’m staying in the suite my dad keeps available for out-of-town business associates.”

“Sure,” she said. “Let’s go.”

The cab of the truck was frigid, and Eve let the engine heat up before she put the vehicle in gear. Their breaths fogged the cabin, and Connor shivered with the cold.

“The heater should have you warm in a minute,” she said.

He rubbed his hands together. “Feels like Afghanistan in here.”

“I thought it was mostly desert there.”

“Deserts are plenty cold at night, but I spent most of my time in the mountains.”

“Did they remind you of home?”

“Nothing compares to the beauty of the Tetons. Besides, I wasn’t there to admire them. They were filled with places for hostiles to hide, which made them an unfriendly place to be.”

It was the first conversation of more than a few words she’d had with Connor Flynn since he’d “accidentally” run into her on the fairgrounds at Old West Days at the end of her junior year of high school, knocking her ice cream cone out of her hand. The news had been all over town that he had orders to go to Afghanistan. He was still dating her best friend, who didn’t happen to be with him.

Eve had figured the jarring collision was one more example of Flynn harassment, until Connor apologized and insisted on buying her another cone. He met her suspicious gaze with laughter in his eyes and said, “Molly would never forgive me if I didn’t.”

She felt warm everywhere his eyes touched her. She trembled when he slid an arm around her waist to move her out of the way of a bunch of rowdy cowboys. And a shiver ran down her spine when he gently thumbed a bit of ice cream from the side of her mouth after she’d taken a bite of her new strawberry cone.

His infectious grin. His surprising kindness. His incredible blue eyes. His muscular shoulders and lean hips. The knowledge that he was forbidden to her because he was a Flynn—and her best friend’s boyfriend. All of those things had conspired to make her fall even more deeply and completely and irrevocably in love with him.

Eve believed she’d seen something in Connor’s eyes—an equal yearning for what might have been?—but
realized that was probably a combination of her imagination and wishful thinking. Still, she came away from the encounter feeling that something irreplaceable had been lost.

Eve’s only solace was the knowledge that any relationship between them would have caused terrible trouble at home. Her father would have howled like twenty tomcats if he discovered she’d fallen in love with one of those damn-fool Flynn boys, and her sisters would have joined the chorus.

Connor had gone to war, and that was the last she or Molly had seen of him for another year.

The day he arrived in Jackson for Molly’s graduation Eve had realized that if she was ever going to say something about her feelings, it was now or never. In the end, she’d opted for
never
. It was impossible to ignore the glow on Molly’s face as she looked into Connor’s eyes when they met after their long separation. Or the tender look in Connor’s eyes as he gazed back at her best friend.

There was simply no possible future in which Eve could be happy at her best friend’s expense. She bitterly regretted the choice she’d made in high school to keep her feelings secret from Connor—and Molly—and she’d never stopped wishing things were different. Unfortunately, and despite the fact that Connor had married her best friend, Eve had never fallen out of love with him. Not that anyone knew her deep, dark secret. As far as her best friend or her sisters or anyone else was concerned, she had the same aversion to those wild Flynn boys as the rest of her family. No one knew that she’d coveted her best friend’s husband.

Even now she found Connor attractive. Her heart leapt when she imagined him holding her and kissing her. But there was no way she was going to act on those feelings. She’d seen the tears on Connor’s cheeks at Molly’s grave. She’d heard his muffled sobs. She knew how much he’d loved her friend. He was never going to love another woman like that. And she wouldn’t settle for less.

Eve felt guilty and sad sitting next to Connor and wishing for what might have been. She was a terrible person for wanting his love during the years he’d been married to her best friend. She was a terrible person for wanting him now, knowing that he was grieving the loss of his wife, knowing that he could never love her the way he’d loved her best friend.

Eve saw that Connor was still blowing on his hands to warm them. “Do you want to go back and get your jacket?”

“I’ll have the bartender put it in a cab and drop it at the hotel. You’re welcome to join me for a drink while I wait.”

Eve knew she should turn down the invitation. Having anything to do with Connor Flynn was bound to turn out badly. She opened her mouth to say, “I have to head home.” What came out was, “Sure. Why not?”

There were a thousand good reasons why not, but she refused to listen to any of them. What was the harm? She would share a drink and perhaps some memories of Molly. They’d discuss Connor’s chances of getting his kids back from their grandparents. She’d do her best to cheer him up—and calm him down—and then she’d go home to Kingdom Come. Alone.

“I didn’t think you’d say yes,” he said, eyeing her askance.

“Why not?”

“Because you’re a Grayhawk. And I’m a Flynn.”

“You’re Brooke and Sawyer’s father, and I’m their godmother. And we both loved Molly.”

He said nothing the rest of the way to the hotel. She spent the short drive reminding herself of the calamity that had resulted when the very first Eve had given in to temptation. Reminding herself that she should keep her distance. Reminding herself that she was going to get burned if she got too close to the fire.

None of it did any good. When they reached the hotel and he invited her up to his room, she went.

E
VE COULDN
’
T HELP
wondering why Connor had invited her to his suite instead of waiting for his coat downstairs in the bar. Was it really the noise from the live band that he’d wanted to avoid? Or did he have some other reason for getting the two of them alone?

Eve eyed Connor sideways, wondering if she was the only one who’d felt the electricity arcing between them in the elevator. The possibility of being kissed by a man she’d loved since she was fourteen had her whole body tingling in expectation. That excitement was matched with equal feelings of dread over betraying her best friend.

Molly’s dead. She’s never coming back. You can’t hurt her anymore by loving Connor
.

It was no longer a sin to love Connor, but that didn’t keep Eve from feeling guilty for all the years she’d coveted her best friend’s husband. That didn’t keep her from feeling that she didn’t deserve a future with Connor because it had come at the cost of Molly’s life.

“Maybe this isn’t such a good idea,” she said when she felt Connor’s hand at her back, ushering her off the elevator and into the suite.

“It’s just a drink, Eve. I’d like to talk to you about the kids, if that’s all right.”

“Oh.” So he didn’t have designs on her body. That was all wishful thinking on her part. “Of course.”

“I’ll take your fleece.”

She slipped it off and felt exposed, which was silly, because Connor didn’t seem aware of her as a female of the species.

He tossed her coat over the back of the studded brown leather couch and said, “Make yourself comfortable,” then flipped the switch to turn on the gas fireplace as he crossed to a bar set up near the kitchen. “What can I get you to drink?”

“How about hot tea?”

He raised a surprised brow. “All right. I’m sure there’s tea here somewhere.”

“You don’t have to wait on me.” She joined him in the kitchen. “Let me help you look.”

Together, they rummaged through cupboards until she found some Stash lemon-and-ginger tea. A hot water dispenser at the sink provided boiling water at the tip of a finger. Within a very few minutes they were settled on opposite ends of the couch holding pottery mugs of aromatic tea, the fire flickering before them.

“Are you still going to testify on my behalf tomorrow after what happened tonight?” he asked.

“Why wouldn’t I?”

He made a face. “Despite my good intentions I ended up choking that idiot.”

Her lips tilted in a wry smile. “Buck can do that to you. I’ve often wished I could throttle him to shut him up.”

“Was he right?”

Eve didn’t have to ask about what. “No. I don’t believe you belong in a cage. I think you’re a man who’s been pushed to his limit. I’m sure that once you have your kids back and you settle down to life together as a family you’ll be fine.”

His eyes looked stark. “Am I going to get them back?”

“You will if my testimony means anything. Molly never intended for her parents to raise Brooke and Sawyer. She was always worried that something would happen to you, and that the kids would never get to know what a wonderful husband and father you were.”

“Some husband. Some father. I was gone most of our marriage. My kids barely know me!”

It was hard to argue with the facts, but she gave Connor what encouragement she could. “Your kids have the rest of their lives to get to know you.”

“Presuming I get custody tomorrow.”

She took a sip of her tea. There was no sense guessing what would happen, because there was no way to know how the judge would rule.

She was expecting another question about the kids when Connor said, “I hear your long-lost brother is back in town. Where’s he been all this time?”

Eve’s face immediately felt flushed with heat. Every time she thought of Matt’s arrival at Kingdom Come three weeks ago, and the ultimatum her father had given her and her sisters the day before he showed up, she got angry all over again. “He was living in Australia.” She didn’t trust herself to say more.

“How long is he staying?”

“Who knows?” But if he stayed for three hundred and sixty-five days every bit of Kingdom Come was his, and she and her sisters were out.

“Doesn’t sound like you’re happy he’s home.”

“I’m not.” She still couldn’t believe her father had given the prodigal son everything, instead of rewarding the dutiful daughters who’d stayed home and helped run the ranch all the years Matt had been gone.

“What’s your brother ever done to you?” Connor asked.

“For one thing, he’s made it clear that he wants me and my sisters gone from Kingdom Come.”

Connor sat forward and set his mug on the glass-topped, antler-based coffee table in front of them. “What?”

“You heard me. We’re being thrown out, bag and baggage.”

“That’s crazy!”

“In order to get Matt to come home, my father made this stupid agreement with him that if he stays for a year, the ranch is his. I don’t care about living at the Big House. I can find somewhere else to hang my hat. But if I’m forced off the ranch I won’t have a place to run the wild mustangs I’ve rescued. There’s no place in Teton County—ninety-seven percent of which, as you very well know, is devoted to national parks—where I can afford to keep them.”

“Surely Matt will—”

She laughed bitterly. “Matt won’t.”

Eve’s chest physically ached every time she thought about her father’s betrayal. She felt anew all the pain of being cast off by the father she’d loved and obeyed
her whole life, for the sake of a son who’d run off and stayed gone for twenty years.

“Any chance Matt won’t hang in for the whole year?” Connor asked.

“He brought his twenty-year-old daughter and six-year-old son with him from Australia. That sounds pretty permanent to me.”

“It’s hard to believe King would screw you over like that.”

“Not if you know my father,” she said, unable to keep the resentment from her voice. “He isn’t much of a family man. Turns out that kowtowing to him all my life didn’t do me a lick of good. Come March 1 of next year, my mustangs and I will be out in the cold.”

“Are things really that bad for you financially?”

“My dad’s rich. I’m not.”

“I’ve seen your photographs of wild mustangs in every gallery in town. They’re amazing. I figured you must be raking in the dough.”

“I make a living from my work, but I’m still not nationally recognized, so it’s not as much as you might think. And I recently spent every spare penny I had to rescue a bunch of wild mustangs from the slaughterhouse.”

“The slaughterhouse? Who eats horse meat?”

“You’d be surprised.”

“How does that end up happening?”

“When the Bureau of Land Management thinks the mustang population has gotten too big in an area, they round them up, take them off the land, and put them in pens, where they’re fed and watered. They get three chances to get adopted. If they aren’t claimed by someone who wants a saddle horse, they usually
end up getting bought by ‘kill buyers’ who take them across the border to Canada or Mexico to be slaughtered. Those beautiful, wild creatures end up as dog food—or as a delicacy on a European dinner plate.”

“And your herd was on its way to slaughter?” Connor asked.

Eve nodded. “Which is why I’m so mad at Daddy for this deal he made with Matt. I have no idea what I’m going to do with twenty-two wild horses when I have to move.”

“Any chance you can change King’s mind?”

“My dad’s every bit as stubborn as yours. Otherwise, the two of them wouldn’t still be feuding over something that happened a lifetime ago. Apparently, Daddy had to bribe Matt with the ranch to get him to come here.”

“Pretty big bribe.”

“I’ll say. And a pretty nasty joke on me and my sisters.” Eve sighed. “Sorry to lay all this on you. I miss having Molly around to share my troubles with. She was a good sounding board, smart and sensible.”

“She was good at a lot of things.” Connor lowered his head and rubbed at the newly healed scar on his forehead.

“Are you all right?”

“My head aches. It’ll go away. It always does.”

She set down her tea and scooted across the couch to his side. “Maybe I can help.”

Eve kept her eyes on the two-inch scar that slanted upward from his right eyebrow as she set her thumbs on his temples. She held her breath as her fingers slid into his hair, which was surprisingly soft. She didn’t know where she’d gotten the courage to reach out
and touch. But since the opportunity wasn’t likely to come again anytime soon, she took full advantage of it, softly massaging her way across Connor’s forehead until her thumbs met at the jagged scar, then working her way back to his temples.

When she finally dropped her gaze to his, she discovered Connor’s eyes were closed. When he opened them, she dropped her hands self-consciously to her lap. Could he tell from the mere touch of her hands how much she wanted to be held by him? To be loved by him? Their faces were only inches apart, and she saw his eyes focus on her mouth, which was open to draw breath to lungs that suddenly seemed stripped of air.

“Eve.”

Her name had never sounded so sensual. She shivered as a frisson of awareness skittered up her spine.

His hands were warm and gentle, not at all what she’d expected a warrior’s touch to be, as he unknotted her hands and took them in his own.

“Eve. Look at me.”

With a giant effort of will, she raised her gaze to meet his. Connor’s heavy-lidded blue eyes were focused intently on her face. His nostrils were flared for the scent of her, as though he were a predator seeking prey. She felt his hands tighten on hers as though to prevent her escape.

“I’ve always liked you, Eve. Molly loved you like a sister. She—” He cut himself off and lowered his gaze to their joined hands.

“Connor, I’m so sorry she’s gone. I wish more than anything that Molly could be the one here with you tonight.”

She tugged on her hands, and he let her go.

Eve wasn’t sure why she’d wanted her hands free until she reached up and cupped his stubbled cheek with one of them. It was a gesture of comfort, but her pulse leapt when he leaned into her hand, then angled his face to kiss her wrist. Her other hand brushed the errant lock of hair off his forehead, so she could kiss the scar that proved how close she’d come to losing him forever.

She felt Connor’s hands at her waist, lifting her into his lap, and slid her arms around his shoulders. They sat quietly together, offering solace to one another for the loss of his wife and her best friend.

She imagined he was missing Molly. She was regretting past choices, wishing things could have been different. Wishing that they were a couple and had their whole lives ahead of them.

She shivered at the touch of Connor’s lips beneath her ear. His warm breath made her quiver in anticipation. She felt his fingertips on her chin, angling her head toward him.

Eve felt her heart skittering as their lips touched. She felt Connor’s tongue tease the seam of her lips and after a brief hesitation she opened to him. She made a sound of satisfaction as his tongue intruded and she tasted him. She broke the kiss to look into his eyes, seeking confirmation of the wonder she felt at this first moment of coming together. What she saw caused a furrow between her brows.

Not desire. Despair.

Eve shoved herself out of Connor’s embrace and stumbled to her feet. A second later he was on his feet
as well, his hands bunched into fists, his eyes glittering in the light from the fire.

“I have the feeling that you’re not ready for this,” she said tentatively. “That you’re still grieving.”

Eve wanted him to tell her it was fine, that he was ready to move on. He said nothing, just stared at her, looking sad.

“Why did you start this,” she demanded, “if you’re still—” She cut herself off, unwilling to bring Molly’s name into the conversation.

“I’m sorry.”

It didn’t help to have him confirm the fact that he was still in love with Molly. Of course he was. That was the way it should be. She was the one who wanted more than he was ready to give.

She grabbed her fleece, but he caught her by the shoulders before she could take two steps.

“Don’t leave. I don’t have many friends, Eve. I can’t afford to lose one.”

A
friend
? Was that how he saw her? Eve felt mortified. She should have kept her distance. She should have kept her feelings hidden. She shouldn’t have let him see even a little of what she felt for him. That must have been what he’d responded to. That must have been why he’d kissed her.

“I don’t want things to become awkward between us,” he said. “You’re my children’s godmother. I promise nothing like that will happen again.”

Eve felt like wailing. It would be torture spending time with Connor knowing that she felt something for him when he felt nothing for her.

He dropped his hands from her shoulders, and she was free. The choice was hers. She could go or
stay. She looked into Connor’s eyes and responded to the sorrow she found there. She owed it to Molly to watch out for him.

And to herself to keep her distance.

“All right.” She crossed back, dropping her fleece on the back of the couch as she settled onto the leather cushions, tucking one leg beneath her. “Let’s talk.”

He shoved both hands through his hair, leaving it awry, huffed out a breath, and settled on the other end of the couch. He shot her a chagrined smile. “I have no idea where to go from here.”

Eve forced herself to return his smile in an effort to get things back on an even keel. “How about sharing your plans for when you get Brooke and Sawyer back?”

“I’ve bought a ranch. I’m planning to take them there and work on being a better father.”

“You’re moving away?” Eve wondered if her face looked as stricken as her voice sounded to her. “I thought you’d be staying with your father and brothers, so they’d be around to help.”

“I take it you think I’m going to need help. I’ve managed a Delta team. I think I can manage two little kids.”

“Soldiers don’t cry because they’re scared of the dark,” she said quietly.

“You might be surprised. The dark can be a very scary place.”