Sincerely, Carter (17 page)

“Okay, okay, okay.” He tapped the counter. “You. Me. The Bakery Bar. Tonight. Instead of a one night stand, we’re going to find me a platonic friend. The uglier, the better.”

“I’m honestly ashamed to call you my friend sometimes.”

“The feeling is mutual, buddy.” He grabbed a bottle of water and returned to the couch.

When I was sure he was deeply engrossed in his reading again, I poured myself an early shot of vodka and tossed it back. I was definitely going to need to be buzzed to keep my mind off Ari’s lips for the next few hours…

Or days.

Or…shit.

Again…

Track 13. The Last Time (4:56)

The sex was a mistake…Just a one-time mistake…

I repeated those words all morning long until I halfway believed them, until I made my way into the class I was currently stealing: Pastry Design.

I took an apron off the rack and found a seat in the back, waiting to see if there would be a no-show today so I would have a station to use, but to my surprise, there was one with my name on it.

In utter disbelief, I slowly stepped forward—running my fingers across the lettering to make sure it was real. Then I noticed that there was a note next to my name, so I opened it and read:

How ironic is it that the best person in the class isn’t really in the class at all?

This is only for the summer…

—Chef Brandt

PS—I want to talk to you about some other culinary programs that may be good for your future career…

I looked up and saw him nodding at me from the front of the room, a quick sign of approval.

Grateful, I took today’s assignment card out of the pocket, hoping it would be something intricate enough to keep my mind off of Carter.

Today’s assignment:

You are to make a soufflé using only the ingredients in your fridge.

Today’s theme is “Unrelenting Passion: Just One Night.”

I dropped the card to the ground.

Hours later, after my “professor” made me fill out a few applications for four of the top culinary programs in the world, I found myself walking along the shore barefoot—letting the warm winds knock at me left and right.

No matter how badly I’d tried to think about something else today, anything else, Carter’s rough touches, kisses, and caresses kept coming to mind. I guessed the dirty sex part about him was true, but a part of me couldn’t help but want to believe that last night was about a little something more than just sex.

No, stop it…Just sex…Just friends…

I pulled out my phone and called Nicole.

“Hey there!” She answered on the first ring. “How are you today?”

“Good. How are you?”

“Great! I’m really looking forward to tomorrow night. I’m going to drop off some drinks and snacks at your place on my way to work tomorrow, so we can drink before and after the club. I even got us some DVDs.”

“You were serious about having a slumber party after we go out?”

“Totally. I am determined to make Josh’s party up to you.”

“It’s not that big of a deal, I swear. The thought is appreciated, though.”

“Stop being so nice about telling me I’m a terrible friend.” There was a smile in her voice. “I’ll be over around eight, okay?”

“Okay…”

“Wait a minute. Why do you sound like that?”

“Like what?”

“Like…Like you’re sad or depressed or something. Are you okay?”

I slept with Carter…Say it…I. Slept. With. Carter.

I couldn’t get the words to come out. I wanted to tell her, but a part of me—a very strong part, was telling me to hold back.

“Arizona?” she asked. “Arizona, are you there?”

“I’m here. Nothing’s wrong. I just had a long day in culinary class.”

“Bummer. I forgot about that…Have you seen Carter today?”

“Yeah, earlier. Why?”

“Well, I know you’re going to think I’m crazy, but do you think you could tell him I’m interested and just see what he says?”

“Um…”

“Um yes, or um no?”

Um hell no.
“Sure. I’ll tell him that the next time we talk.”

“Well, in that case I guess I’ll have an answer within twenty four hours!” She laughed. “Oh! Just got a customer. I’ll see you tomorrow at eight!”

“See you tomorrow at—” The phone beeped before I could finish my sentence.

I dipped my toes into the ocean a few minutes before deciding to take a trolley straight to Gayle’s. I figured one of their waffles would make me feel ten times better right about now, and maybe even help me think about this situation a little more.

Especially since Carter won’t be there…

No, Carter
was
there.

As soon as I stepped inside, I spotted him sitting in the back. I debated whether or not I should leave and just wave down one of their mobile trucks, but he suddenly looked up at me.

I could literally feel myself being pulled toward him, as if I wasn’t in control of my own functions. I took one step, I took two, and before I knew it, I was sitting in front of him.

Neither of us said a word.

“I put in your order as soon as I saw you walk through the door!” Our regular waitress walked over with a tray.

“A Belgian waffle with vanilla yogurt and strawberries—with a sprinkle of chocolate chips.” She smiled at me as she set down my usual. “And a waffle tower with chocolate yogurt, peanut butter, and a sprinkle of Oreo chips and gummy bears on the side for you.” She set a plate in front of Carter. “Could you two do me a huge favor and mix it up every now and then? Don’t you get tired of ordering the exact same thing every time?”

“Could I have an extra waffle today?” Carter smiled. “For
free
? Will that help?”

“You’re lucky I actually like you, kid.” She laughed. “I’ll bring it out after I get my next two tables.” She winked at us before walking away.

“So….” I said, stopping. My first question was always what he did the night before, but I already knew the answer to the question.
Me
.

Seemingly picking up on that, he intervened. “Has Nicole sent you her usual, ‘I can’t hang out with you this weekend, but I’ll definitely make it up to you’ text yet?”

“Not yet. I think she’s going to follow through this time. She said she’s going to buy me lightweight-safe drinks all night tomorrow, and then she wants to hang out at my place afterwards.”

“You believe her?”

“I do.” I nodded. “The only thing that shocked me text message wise today was Chris. He asked if we could meet up again this weekend…”

“I think he really likes you. Are you going to give him a chance and maybe just have sex since that’s all it was supposed to be anyway?”

“No.” I picked up my fork. “I don’t think I’m capable of having casual sex like you are.”

He raised his eyebrow.

“I mean…His strange sex sounds aside, all we had was attraction and sweet kisses, but I need more than that to form a connection. Even if it is only for temporary sex. Besides, it’s not worth starting anything anyway since I’ll be leaving eventually, you know?”

“Not necessarily. Long distance relationships can work under certain circumstances.”

“What circumstances?”

“None.” He laughed. “I was just trying to give you a false sense of hope.”

I smiled and cut my waffle, and for the next hour it was as if things were absolutely normal between us. I was actually convinced that us having sex last night wasn’t going to change us at all.

When it was time for the bill, Carter covered it as usual and boxed up my leftovers. Unlike usual, he pressed his hand against the small of my back when we stood up, and he left it there until we got to his car—sending my nerves into a frenzy with a simple touch.

We didn’t talk on the way to my house, and I noticed that he’d neglected to turn on the radio. The only noise between us was the wind and rushing traffic.

Two stoplights from my block, he finally spoke. “After all these months of stealing classes from the culinary school, they still don’t care that you’ve never paid a dime of tuition?”

“Shockingly, no. It hit me a few weeks ago that they only call security on me when it’s exam day, and the professors really like me. My passion, anyway. Did I tell you that one of them wrote me a recommendation letter for a few other schools?”

“No.” He laughed as he pulled over to the curb. “Please tell me that you actually read it and made sure he didn’t say that you’re a thief anywhere inside.”

“He did not!” I laughed with him, opening my door. “He said I was brilliant and possessed some of the most fervent passion he’d seen in years…He did mention my “creative means” to learn, but there’s no way they’ll equate that to me stealing classes.”

“Let’s hope not.”

“Thanks for the ride.” I shut the door. “I’ll hit you up tomorrow if Nicole bails on me.”

“She will.”

“She won’t!” I quickly walked away and rushed inside my house.

I put my hand over my heart and exhaled; it was racing all over again.

This was so not good…

Track 14. Speak Now (3:42)

I slept late the next day. All day.

I even called in sick to my part time job at the marina, and let my manager berate me for the umpteenth time. (Something about if I was ever late again or called in sick one more day I would be fired. I didn’t care about the fired part, it was more about losing my boat access pass that I sometimes needed to use when the chefs held classes on Parker Island; private boat fares weren’t cheap.)

When I’d finally found the motivation to drag myself up, it was six o’clock and I figured I should start getting ready for a night with Nicole. I went downstairs to see what she’d dropped off earlier and found myself standing in a sea of plastic bags—bags full of all types of junk food: Cheetos, chocolate bars, twenty different types of fruity candy, and lots of vodka and beer.

It was just like Nicole to literally drop something off without thinking about putting it away. By the time I finished stuffing everything into the pantry, it was seven o’clock and she’d sent me a text:

Soooo don’t kill me for this, but I have to cancel on you tonight! I have a really, really good reason though! It has an eight pack and I’ll tell you all about it tomorrow, I promise!

WHAT THE HELL?

Holding back a frustrated scream, I typed a text: