Simply Heaven (27 page)

Drawing a deep breath of resolve, Steve hurried after her.

Chapter 20

Raven stood on the riverbank, recklessly wishing she could jump in and swim all the way back to Texas. Not that she had been particularly contented there either, but at least while passing for a boy she'd known a little peace. Here, since her father died, she felt as though she bore the weight of the world on her shoulders. There were people to help: bankers and bookkeepers in Mobile, her father's lawyer. They did what they could, but she had promised herself when she had made the decision to stay that she would not sit back like some pampered empty-headed belle and allow others to make all the decisions. She was certainly willing to work, down in the dirt with the field hands if need be. But it just seemed that every way she turned, tensions with Lisbeth and Julius were waiting like a spider's web to entrap her.

She stooped to pick up a rock and sent it sailing through the air to make a faint splash somewhere distant.

She supposed she should get back to the house and then wondered what difference it made. Nobody cared what happened to her.

A tear rolled down her cheek, and she brushed at it furiously. There was nothing to cry about, she chided herself. After all, she had felt unwanted at the reservation after Seth died. She had been out of place there too; and even Thad Slawson had thought the only thing she could do was find a husband. The only difference now was that she had money. But what good did money do her when she was either despised, ignored, or ridiculed as she tried to fit into a world that did not want her?

She picked up another rock and threw it so hard she could not hear when it finally hit the water.

Being rich was not what was keeping her there.

It was Steve.

No matter how hard she tried, she could not put him out of her mind. It was foolish; she meant nothing to him. He had his women in Mobile whenever he wanted. And the few times they had been in each others company since that reckless night in the barn, he had given no indication he remembered... while she could not forget.

She had wandered through the formal gardens and crossed the bridge over the lagoon. An opening in a hedge of fragrant gardenia bushes had led her to the sloping riverbank. It was so isolated and peaceful she could not bring herself to leave just yet. She longed to stay there till after the guests left Sunday afternoon but knew that would be impossible. Like it or not, she had to face them, which was going to be extremely difficult in the wake of what had happened.

But at least she would stay here for a while, she decided, so she sat down on the grass and took off her shoes, which were hurting her feet.

Steve had trailed after her, giving her time to calm down before letting his presence be known. A couple of times he had thought about turning back and leaving her alone, but when she headed toward the river, he stayed in pursuit. She might have just shown she could handle herself with one man, but rowdies on the river traveled in packs.

He stepped through the opening in the hedge and called softly, "If I join you, will you promise not to throw
me
over your shoulder?"

She recognized his voice before turning to see him framed by the moonlight. "What... what are you doing here?" she stammered, trying not to let her excitement show. Then the meaning of his words dawned and she was horrified. "Oh, no! Don't tell me you saw what happened on the terrace."

"I sure did." He dropped to sit beside her. "And I have to say it was an exciting end to an otherwise boring evening. I hate those things, anyway. Ned did too. He never gave many parties, and when he did it was just to reciprocate for invitations he received. But I went tonight, because I promised him—"

She interrupted. "And you're doing a lot of talking to take my mind off what I did, but there's no need. You heard how everyone was laughing. I know I made a fool of myself, even if I did seem to have no choice at the time, so nothing you say can make me feel any better. But thanks for trying," she added glumly.

"You're wrong. Julius is the one who acted like a fool, and he's the one they were laughing at, not you."

"I wish I could believe that."

"Trust me, you can. Everyone knows how Julius is when he has too much to drink."

"He said Lisbeth was right to call me a savage. That hurt."

"Well, nobody cares what she says either. They think she's a brat, which she is. I've only known them since they came home from school, but that's been long enough to see how things are. Everyone wanted to applaud you for what you did, because they figured Julius must have had it coming."

"I wish there had been another way."

"Sometimes you do what you've got to do."

"I suppose."

The silence that fell made Raven uncomfortable. She thought about getting up and leaving but could not make herself do so. It was nice being with him, even if it was a kind of sweet torture.

Finally, she said, "You haven't told me what you were doing out there."

"Escaping the party... and keeping an eye on you," he added.

"Well, now you know a savage like me doesn't need anybody to look out for her."

"You're not a savage. And maybe I look at you every chance I get for other reasons." He had not come to seduce her; he had only wanted her to know there was no reason for her to be embarrassed about what had happened. But now, sitting here at her side, her scent was an aphrodisiac that was fast ripping away all vestiges of rational thought. Before he realized it, he took her hand to give it a gentle squeeze, pleasantly surprised that not only did she not draw away, she returned the pressure.

"Maybe I should go," she said shakily.

"Maybe I should be the one to go," he murmured.

Neither moved for what seemed an eternity. Then, as though by silent mutual consent, they moved slowly into each other's arms and fell gently backward to the ground.

He did not kiss her just then, wanting to feast upon her lovely face. With a fingertip, he tenderly traced her forehead and brow, then her nose, and on to her cheeks and jawline, finally moving along the perfect bow of her mouth. His thumb rubbed across the fullness of her lower lip as their gazes burned into each other, locked with unspoken promise of wonder yet to come.

He pressed her mouth open. Back and forth he licked, deliciously, hungrily, the tip of his tongue to hers, ultimately closing his mouth over hers in a deep, stirring kiss that seemed to go on forever.

Raven returned the kiss with fervor. She closed her eyes and cast all thoughts of right or wrong from her mind. She could deny neither him nor herself any longer. Beyond all doubt, she knew she wanted him.

She wanted this....

Moving his mouth to her neck, he delighted in the taste of her flesh as his hands began to roam over her as though with a will of their own. He felt a groan deep inside. It had been a long time since he'd had a woman. Too long. Lust was a screaming demon inside him, demanding to be fed, but despite how desperately he longed to quench the hunger for her that had been tearing at him for so very long, he would not be rushed. He wanted to savor every delectable moment.

His breath was hot, ragged, against her ear. "I want to see you naked again, Raven, only this time when I look at you, I want to know you're really mine, that you aren't just torturing me."

"I was torturing myself then too," she confessed shamelessly. "But no more."

She sat up and tried to unfasten her gown but he had to help her with it, and with the corset, and then she stripped away the rest of her clothing until she was completely exposed to him.

His gaze swept across the beauty of her, even more stunning than he remembered. Closing one hand over a soft breast, he felt her shudder. With thumb and forefinger, he plucked at her nipple, already a tight little bud. He flicked it with his tongue, watching her as he did so, and saw how she gave a little gasp of pleasure. He then opened his mouth wide to take as much of her as he could, sucking so eagerly, so hard, that she felt the muscles in her belly contract and roll with deep-seated ecstasy. Her hands laced across the back of his head to hold him in position, for she never wanted him to stop.

As he continued to devour her breasts in turn, he explored the rest of her: the incredibly tiny waist, her flat stomach, the swell of her hips. Reaching her upper thighs, he moved between, and a cry of abandonment broke in Raven's throat as his probing fingers darted downward to touch and gently enter the lips of her love. They closed over him, and he dared not linger for he could feel her quivering and wanted to prolong that ultimate shudder of delight.

He pulled away from her only long enough to strip off his own clothing, then rolled to his back, taking her with him so that she lay on top of him. Cupping her buttocks, he spread them ever so slightly to slip his hardness between her legs. He began to rub to and fro, and she could not help moaning with sweet torment to feel the friction of him against the nuclei of her sex. She began to meet his undulations, and soon he could stand no more.

The world surrounding danced with magical shadows, and mystical moonbeams glistened down on their naked, sweat-slicked bodies as he gently rolled her over and then rose above her. Positioning himself between her legs, he spread them and bent her knees up to her chest.

Her eyes upon him were dazed with wonder, and she held out her arms, beckoning him yet closer.

He lowered his head and kissed her again as he slid his hand down her eagerly waiting body to guide himself into her. He was trembling with anticipation but knew, if it were her first time, that it might cause some pain. He dared to ask, and when she confirmed that it was, he promised, "I'll be as gentle as I can."

"No," she surprised him by saying. "Take me as you will. I'm not afraid."

And he did so, driving into the fiery heart of her, urged on by the feel of her nails raking down his back as she met his every thrust.

As much as she wanted him, as frenzied the state he had brought her to, Raven was agonized in her desire to want the splendor to last forever. Perhaps, she wildly imagined, they could, by the fusing of their bodies, actually become a part of each other for all time. Words of love, promises of a future together, were not important. Not now. There would be time for tenderness later. The spell would be broken by any attempt to grasp reality; only the moment could be caught, held, bringing him unto her, into her, for the ultimate blending and melding of their spirits.

All her senses were poised like an arrow drawn back in the bow, ready to be propelled mightily toward the target. She felt as though she were being sucked into him, for each time he entered her, he seemed to drive himself farther and farther inside.

Steve could feel her pressing against him as pleasure flowed like the mighty river below them. Her head began to whip from side to side as she felt herself taking all he had to give. He thrust harder, and she clung to him, sobbing, fearing he would let her go. She never, ever, wanted him to leave her. She was sinking, drowning, dying and did not care. All that mattered or ever would matter was the sensation of him, diving deeper inside her... until he
became
her, and she him, and the two were one, pouring into each other as one entity, one soul.

And in that crystallized moment of fulfillment, both of them knew their world would never again be the same....

Afterward, for a long time, they lay side by side on their backs staring up at the sky, neither speaking for fear of breaking the spell between them.

Finally, reluctantly, Raven said, "Maybe we should go. Someone might come."

"At this hour of the night? I think not. Besides"—he squeezed her hand, which he had been holding tightly—"I don't want you to go. I'm afraid when you do I'll wake up and find this was all just a dream, that it didn't really happen."

"I'm glad it did," she confessed with candor. "But we can't let anyone know." She shuddered to think of Lisbeth's finding out. She would think her a whore and tell everyone, and that would never do, not if she wanted the respect of the overseers and everyone else.

"No one will know. We'll be careful. You can slip out of the house after everyone is asleep and come to my room. Nobody is ever around the stables after dark." He rolled on his side and propped on an elbow so he could look at her once more in the moonlight. "You don't know how much I've thought about you since that night. If Elijah hadn't come, I swear I would have carried you up that ladder no matter how you fought me."