Simply Forbidden (4 page)

“You look very nice, sir.”

Gabriel managed a smile. “Thank you, Keyes.”

“Yes, sir.”

His valet forgot his change of circumstances and saluted his employer as if they were both still in the army and Keyes was still his batman. Gabriel found himself returning the salute and then headed for the door. As he paused on the landing, he heard the faint sound of music playing and the gentle swell of conversation. Apparently, Lord Knowles’s Hunt Ball was a much anticipated local event that drew in all the aristocratic families for miles around. Many of them stayed the night in order to be up
bright and early for the hunt, which started the next day in front of the big house.

Gabriel took a deep breath. He hated crowds, but if he wanted to buy the horses, he had to do his duty to his host and not abuse his hospitality. He found himself still hesitating and looked down from the minstrel’s gallery onto the crowds below. He spotted the younger Miss Ross and strained for a glimpse of the older. Ah, there she was, dressed in a pale blue gown that seemed to shimmer. He had no idea what the name of the fabric was, but he liked the way it clung to her long legs.

He wanted her. There was no logic behind the thought, just a deep instinct that terrified and excited him. He’d spent the last few nights, his cock in his hand, endlessly fantasizing about the sex they would have, endlessly coming, his cock now sore from the attention, but he wouldn’t change anything. Her unusual directness appealed to him at a very basic level, as did her ability to both inhabit the polite world of the ton and yet revel in her deep sensuality. Perhaps she might be able to teach him the way of it. Despite himself, he’d begun to hope that maybe there was a way out of his current sexual dilemma, a way to overcome his past and move forward.

He put his thoughts into action and made his way down the stairs toward his host, who stood greeting his guests at the entrance to the ballroom. Gabriel bowed and received a welcoming smile in return. Lord Knowles liked a man who knew his horseflesh, and Gabriel had enjoyed sharing his knowledge with him.

“Ah, Lord Swanfield. I believe my younger daughter is expecting you to dance with her. Perhaps you would care to partner her for the opening set?”

“Of course, my lord.” Gabriel forced a smile. “It will be my pleasure.”

He waited patiently at Lord Knowles’s side until Miss Emily
appeared, and took her hand and walked with her into the ballroom. Heat from the massed candles and the noisy conversation rolled over him like a suffocating wave. He realized she was speaking to him, but she spoke so quickly he could barely understand her. He smiled and nodded, hoping she didn’t notice his struggle to overcome his sudden claustrophobia.

“Ooh, Lord Swanfield, this is so exciting!”

Gabriel had nothing to say to that and concentrated on getting her to the middle of the dance floor. The small orchestra struck an opening chord and he forced his feet to move through the intricate steps of the country dance. After a few moments, he realized that there was another couple on the floor, Lord Knowles and Miss Ross. In control of himself now, he tried not to look at her every time the dance brought them closer together, tried to focus his attention on charming Miss Emily and making her smile. Not that that was hard work; she seemed inclined to giggle at everything he said.

When the music ended, he remembered to bow and lead Miss Emily off the floor, but his attention was for Miss Ross, who seemed to have disappeared again. He ignored several comments from other guests and headed in the direction he’d last seen her. She was talking to another man, their fair heads close together, his fingers casually stroking the curve of her elbow.

Gabriel stopped walking and simply stared at the couple, aware that he was reacting far too strongly to another man holding her, touching her skin. At last, the man moved away and she was alone. She looked up, straight into Gabriel’s eyes, and he bowed and walked toward her.

“Would you like to dance with me?”

“I’m already engaged for this dance, my lord.”

He shrugged. “Then tell whomever it is you are sorry and let me get you some refreshments instead. It will be much easier to talk that way.”

She raised her chin at him. “I don’t require any refreshments, thank you.”

He glared down at her. “Then you’ll dance with me.” He took her hand and marched her toward the dance floor, drew her into his arms, and started to move.

“This is very high-handed of you.”

“You left me no choice.”

“I didn’t intend to give you a choice. I’ve been trying to avoid you.”

“I know. I’m not stupid.”

She sighed as he drew her closer. “You’re far from stupid and I am far too attracted to you. There is no reason for it, either, because all you do is bully me.”

“I do not bully you.”

“What do you call this?”

“Gentle persuasion.”

“You are an autocratic bully, and I refuse to be told what to do by such a man.”

He found himself smiling. “Some women like to be told what to do.”

“Well, I’m not one of them.”

“Why didn’t you come for your lesson this morning?”

“You know why.”

“You were afraid I would ‘bully’ you into my bed?”

She looked him right in the eye. “No, I was afraid I’d let you.”

He contemplated her response and allowed the simmering excitement in his belly to grow and consume him. “I didn’t take you for a coward.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“I wouldn’t have allowed you to take me to bed.”

Her steps faltered and he caught her tightly against him to stop her from stumbling, relished the press of her breasts against his waistcoat. He stepped off the dance floor and pulled
her with him, right through the ballroom windows and onto the stone terrace outside.

She wrenched her hand out of his grasp and walked away from him, to a more secluded corner of the garden. She turned her back on him to study the dark parkland beyond the formal gardens. “Are you suggesting that even if I’d thrown myself at you, you would’ve resisted me?”

“Yes.”

She swung slowly around, the thin skirts of her gown catching the slight breeze. “You haven’t resisted me so far. In fact, you have been the aggressor in our encounters.”

“You’re a lady. I want you, but it’s not socially acceptable to …”

“To bed me?”

“Aye, to bed you without offering marriage.”

“And you’re not
quite
enamored of me yet to offer to marry me.”

“Exactly.”

“Thank goodness for that.” She shut her fan and slipped the band over her wrist. “What if I was married already?”

He shrugged. “Then you would be fair game, as long as your husband was the acquiescent and forgiving type.”

“How nice for you.” She glared at him. “If you were my husband, I would not look kindly on you straying like a tom cat.”

“And I would not like that in a wife.” He sighed. “I’m just trying to be honest with you about what I want.”

“So that you can have an excuse to walk away from me again? Because I have shocked you with my unmaidenly desires?” Her lip curled. “You scarcely strike me as a man who expects to wait for marriage to experience all the pleasures of the flesh. Why should it be different for me?”

He took a step closer and then another. “You’re right. There are other ways to give you pleasure, without bedding you.”

She opened her eyes wide at him. “I know. I’m not stupid either.”

He stepped in until there was no space left between them. “I want you naked, my mouth on you, my fingers buried deep inside you as you scream my name. I want my cock in your mouth, your hand wrapped around my shaft, and my cum all over you. Is that clear enough?”

She blinked at him and took a long, shuddering breath. “Do you always make such romantic speeches?”

He knew that most gently reared young ladies would’ve run away screaming by now, crying for their mothers. He had no idea why he’d known Miss Ross would hear him out, but he’d known it in his soul.

“Have I offended you?”

She turned her head away from him. “No.”

He straightened and realized he’d almost kissed her. “What?”

“I’m not offended by your words.”

He kissed her then, his tongue in her mouth, one hand flattened on the center of her back holding her close. She pulled away from him and pushed at his chest. “I have to go back now.”

“Why?”

“Because I am my father’s hostess.”

“And that means more to you than taking your pleasure with me?”

“Yes.” She curtsied, her back straight, her grace that of a queen. “I’ll think about your interesting offer and let you know after the ball.”

Unconsciously, Gabriel’s hand went to comfort his now engorged cock. “I might not want you after the ball.”

“And I probably won’t want you either and will have thought better of it. Then we’ll have nothing to say to each other after all, will we?”

Anger stirred in his stomach, curdling the lust. “Is this because I danced with your sister first?”

“What?”

“Are you toying with me because you lost your wager?”

“How did you know about that?” She turned back to him, her expression suddenly formidable.

“I overheard something to the effect quite by accident.”

She stormed back toward him. “And you thought what? That I’d deliberately met you in the stables to coerce you into asking me to
dance
?”

“It was a possibility.”

Her hazel eyes widened as she stared at him. “Is that why you kissed me? You kept asking me whether I had something I wanted to ask you. Was that it?”

“I wanted to give you the opportunity to win the wager.”

“Because dancing with you is such an honor? I knew there was something wrong, I knew it.” She swept him another curtsey. “If I’d wanted to win the wager, I would’ve won it. The whole idea was my sister’s, and I simply went along with her.”

“Easy for you to say now you’ve lost.”

“Lord Swanfield, let me repeat myself. I’m not stupid. If I’d
wanted
to dance with you, I would have asked you. I’ve never needed to resort to deceit to make a man do
anything
for me.”

He bowed. “Indeed. And as you’ve obviously decided to blow a trivial thing out of all proportion just so that you can run away from me, I’ll wish you good night.”

“Trivial thing?” She spared him another scathing glance. “Good night and good riddance, my lord. You conceited, arrogant presumptuous idiot!”

She stormed away from him, leaving him alone on the secluded terrace, his thoughts at war with his body’s demands, his temper barely under control. Was he conceited? Surely not. Arrogant? Perhaps …

He sighed and headed for his room. He’d had enough of the
ball and of Miss Ross for one night. Her opinion of him certainly didn’t matter; he hardly knew her. He paused on the edge of the ballroom, watched her smiling at her father. So why did he feel so damn wounded? She’d only behaved like the rest of her class. But that wasn’t true, was it? She’d actually admitted to wanting him, and only his stupid insistence on mentioning the wager had spoiled the erotic possibility of a night in her arms.

He bit off a curse. Aye, daft and stupid, that was it. He’d managed to alienate the only woman who had interested him in years. Now all that was left was for him to leave with his dignity intact and try and forget her.

L
isette glanced up at her two smiling companions and tried to decide which one of them seemed most likely to aid her. It was the fashionable hour to be seen in the park and she knew she looked well in her new blue pelisse. Being accompanied by such handsome men only gave her an additional caché. It was hard to decide whom she preferred between the dashing Captain Merrival and the quietly amusing Lieutenant St. Clare. Both men were of a similar age to the irritating Lord Swanfield, and both of them had served in Spain with the army.

Lord Swanfield refused to leave her thoughts or her most heated dreams. Lisette had decided the best way to rid herself of him was to find out exactly what he had done to make himself such a pariah. Surely then he would lose his allure? She’d gleaned enough information to decide that he must have done something socially unacceptable, but most people seemed unsure exactly what.

She bestowed a dazzling smile on Captain Merrival. “Would you mind if I asked you something personal?”

The captain winked at her, his brown eyes full of interest. “It
depends, Miss Ross. If you wish to know if I’m married, the answer is no.”

“I’m fascinated to hear that, sir, but my question was more about the past and of a military nature.”

“You are interested in the military, Miss Ross?” Captain Merrival found a vacant bench, brushed it with his handkerchief, and invited Lisette to sit, Lieutenant St. Clare by her side.

“I’m interested in a particular man from the military.”

Captain Merrival clasped his hand to his heart and groaned. “Alas, I fear you don’t mean me. Now all my hopes are dashed.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Captain. I happen to know you are practically engaged to Miss Fenton, and, despite the gossip, I’m not the kind of woman who interferes in another woman’s love life.” She shifted on the seat so she could see both of their faces. “In truth, it is a rather delicate matter. I recently met a Major Lord Gabriel Swanfield. He was buying horses from my father.”

“Ah, Major Swanfield.”

Lisette waited hopefully to see if Captain Merrival was going to volunteer more information but his expression had taken on a closed look that didn’t bode well.

She manufactured a little laugh. “Is it something too terrible to share with me?”

Captain Merrival frowned. “It is … complicated. I never quite believed Swanfield was capable of such behavior although the evidence against him …”

“Major Swanfield was brought up before a military court in Spain on charges of supplying the enemy with military secrets,” Lieutenant St. Clare said.

Lisette turned to look at him. “He was?”

“Yes, Miss Ross. The circumstances were unusual enough that rather than face a full court-martial, he was forced to leave Spain and return to England.”

Lisette pictured Lord Swanfield’s austere face, remembering
his claims to be honest and his bluntness. “I can’t imagine him doing that.”

Captain Merrival snorted. “With all due respect, you can never tell what a man will do under duress, especially during a war. The information he carried with him was certainly given to our enemies.”

“But if you remember, Merrival, Swanfield was missing for almost a year. He and I spent most of that time in a French prison.” Lieutenant St. Clare’s voice was quiet but determined. “He claimed that the information must’ve been removed from him forcibly when they recovered his body from the rock slide ambush they’d set up.”

“Or he gave it up under torture. He certainly returned in a state near death.”

Lisette stared at both of the men, her gloved hand pressed to her chest. “He was missing for almost a
year
?”

“It happens sometimes in war, especially in the Spanish campaign amongst those treacherous mountains.” Captain Mer-rival shrugged. “Prisoners are taken, exchanged, or released all the time.”

“Yet he wasn’t court-martialed.”

“In truth, Miss Ross, he was in no state to stand trial and several of the men he commanded begged the commander in chief to allow him to leave quietly. Up until his disappearance, his record had been exemplary.”

“And as a peer of the realm, the authorities were reluctant to pursue him as well,” Lieutenant St. Clare finished unwillingly. “So he was allowed home, but there are many who still shun him because of what happened.”

“Do you shun him?” Lisette asked, her stomach tied in knots as she contemplated the ruin of Lord Swanfield’s reputation and the horrible certainty that such rumors and gossip made it impossible for him to set things right. She knew all
about that, had suffered the full weight of society’s condemnation herself in the past. And Lord Swanfield was scarcely the kind of man who would crave society’s favor or fight for it. No wonder he had retreated and made himself almost invisible.

“I haven’t seen him for years, Miss Ross,” Captain Merrival said. “But I wouldn’t refuse to shake his hand.”

“Neither would I. I think the army made some grave mistakes in his trial.”

“Really?” Lisette studied Lieutenant St. Clare’s suddenly unsmiling face, and saw a depth of bitter experience that surprised her.

“Major Swanfield was too ill to defend himself properly, and the authorities refused to allow him time to recover before they held their investigation. They preferred to hurry things along and bury the truth out there in Spain. A longer investigation wasn’t in their best interests. It was much easier to make Major Swanfield the scapegoat and send him home in disgrace.”

“But that hardly seems fair.”

“Not much fair about war, Miss Ross.” Captain Merrival got to his feet and bowed. “Shall we continue our walk? I believe it is getting a little chilly.”

Lisette rose to her feet and laid her hand on his proffered sleeve. She had much to think about and a burning desire to see Lord Swanfield again and ask him to explain himself. She knew she had no right to ask him anything, but perhaps she just wanted another opportunity to see him again. Yes. She really was that pathetic, wanting to see a man who had annoyed her so greatly she’d called him as many vile names as she could think of and walked away from him, denying herself the opportunity to experience his prowess in bed.

She tried to conceal her troubled thoughts and smiled at her two escorts. She had to think of a way to meet Lord Swanfield again and at least give him the opportunity to tell her his version
of the truth. He might even relish the opportunity to tell someone who might be sympathetic toward him, but how would she find him in such a huge city?

Lisette suddenly thought of her father. He was always very careful about the people he sold his horses to and had a disconcerting habit of dropping in on them unannounced to see how his bloodstock was being treated. Lisette let out her breath. If anyone knew where Lord Swanfield was located, it would be him.

“Papa, do you have a London address for Lord Swanfield?”

Her father looked up from his newspaper and studied her across the breakfast table. “Now why would you want to know that?”

“Because I assumed you would wish to invite him to dine with us one evening here in Town, so that you could hear how your horses are settling in.”

“You assumed all that—for me?” His smile was full of mischief. “Such a saintly daughter I have, only thinking of others and never of herself.”

Lisette realized she was blushing and gave her father a serene look. “I only think of your well-being, Papa.”

“Poppycock. Did you like him then, Lisette? He seemed remarkably closemouthed to me, except when he talked about horses.”

“He talked to Lisette.” Christian put down his cup and eyed his sister. “They spent some very happy moments together in the stables.”

“That is pure speculation, Christian, and you know it.”

“And the heat of your reply does nothing to change my opinion. You were attracted to him, Lis.”

“And what does that have to do with you?”

“Children.” Philip’s voice broke through Lisette’s fierce attention
on her brother. “Not over the breakfast table, please, I have a delicate digestion.” He nodded at Lisette. “I will ask my secretary to send him an invitation to dine with us, later this week.”

Lisette ignored Christian’s grinning face and smiled at her father. “Thank you, Papa. And if I am available, I would be glad to join you.”

“That is very good of you, my dear. Now I must return to my desk. I have a whole morning of distributing the servants’ quarterly wages ahead of me, and then I have to meet your mother.”

“She is coming here?”

Philip paused in the act of rising. “Unfortunately, no. I am to meet her at the pleasure house.” He sighed ruefully. “Helene is a very busy woman.”

Lisette contemplated her plate of eggs and bacon as Philip left the room. She loved Helene, but sometimes she could tell that Philip felt neglected for the demands of the pleasure house. In truth, he was a most unusual husband in that he allowed He-lene to live at another house and keep their marriage a virtual secret.

“So you get your wish to fawn over Lord Swanfield again.”

Lisette’s head jerked up as Christian spoke. She’d almost forgotten he was there. “I don’t ‘fawn’ and what business is it of yours who Father invites to dinner?”

Christian raised his eyebrows. “What’s the matter, Lisette? It’s not like you to snap at me over a man.”

“I’m not snapping at you!”

“Why is Lord Swanfield so important to you?”

Lisette sighed, defeated. “I’m not sure.”

“Now, that’s better. At least you’ve stopped denying you’re interested in him.”

“I just wish to find out the truth about his supposed infamy.”

“Which is none of your business.”

“I suppose it isn’t.” Lisette hesitated. “But you know me; I hate to see injustice done to anyone.”

“I don’t doubt that, sister mine. You always want everyone to be happy. But I have a suspicion that you want to see the man again because you want to.” Christian held her gaze. “And I’m still worried because he might not be the right kind of man for you.”

“Are you warning me off again?”

“I’m telling you that his particular sexual tastes are well suited to the pleasure house.”

“You’ve already said that.” Lisette stood up and planted her hands on the tabletop. “Either tell me everything, or don’t interfere.”

Christian leaned back in his chair until he could look up into her face. “I work for Maman, and I respect the privacy of our guests. I’m not going to tell you exactly what he does or doesn’t do, and, in truth, I don’t believe anyone has the right to judge another man’s sexual tastes.”

“Yet by bringing them to my attention, you are judging his.”

“I’m simply preparing you for the notion that he isn’t as straightforward as you might think. You haven’t spent as much time at the pleasure house as I have; you have no idea of the complexities of some of the guests’ sexual tastes.”

“I’ve spent plenty of time there. I’m not some naive debutante.” Lisette glared at her twin. “And I refuse to discuss this with you again.”

Christian shrugged, his eyes narrowed, his expression cool. “Fine.” He toasted her with his coffee cup. “Go ahead, make a fool of yourself.”

Lisette realized she was trembling. For the first time in her life she was at complete odds with her brother and she had no intention of letting him persuade her otherwise. “Thank you, I will.”

There was nothing left to do but exit the room and brood over her brother’s strange behavior. A startling thought occurred to her. Was Christian attracted to Lord Swanfield himself? She had an idea that his sexual tastes were not restricted to women. Was this the reason he was so adamant that Lisette would not find happiness with the other man? Surely not …

Lisette almost turned back. Perhaps she should ask him outright and clear the matter up once and for all. But she sensed Christian wouldn’t tell her even if it was true. The gap that had developed between them recently seemed as wide and deep as a chasm, and it hurt. She started walking again. She wasn’t going to allow him to dictate to her. If Christian truly wanted Gabriel Swanfield, he’d have to deal with her first.

“Good evening, Lord Swanfield.”

Lisette smiled sweetly as her prey turned away from her father and focused his intent gaze on her. He wore a superbly cut black coat and plain white linen that did nothing to diminish his height or fine physique. He was one of the few men who made Lisette feel small and feminine. She imagined his weight bearing her down on the bed, his arms wrapped around her, his mouth …

“Good evening, Miss Ross.” His dark blue gaze was guarded, his expression bland enough to curdle milk. “I hope you are well.”

Her father led the way into the small family dining room, where four places were laid at the table. The green damask curtains were drawn and soft candlelight illuminated the gleaming oak table and intricate crystal glasses. Lisette prayed that Christian wouldn’t appear. He had the ability to destroy her evening if he chose to.

Lord Swanfield paused to pull her chair out and then retreated to the opposite side of the table so that he faced her. “Is Miss Emily joining us?”

“No. She is remaining at Knowles Hall for at least another week preparing for her debut,” Lisette said. “The place is set for my brother, but he rarely dines with us.”

“I’m not sure I’ve met your brother, Miss Ross.”

Her father laughed. “Christian is adept at avoiding social activities. But he is hard to miss. He bears a striking likeness to Lisette. They are twins.”

“Is that so?” Lord Swanfield’s keen gaze considered her. “Come to think of it, I might have caught a glimpse of him at your ball.”

Lisette’s heart gave an uncomfortable thump. She could only assume he’d met Christian at some point at the pleasure house. She hoped his impression was vague and that he wasn’t about to make a connection that would lead to trouble.

To her relief, the meal proceeded amicably enough, her father making most of the small talk as Lord Swanfield’s replies tended to be short and to the point. She contributed her part as well, played the silly society woman to the hilt, a role she’d come to loathe, a reputation she wished she’d never encouraged.