Authors: Abbi Glines
Della
I had thought that I knew terror. That I knew fear. I had seen my mother lying in a pool of her own blood. That was fear. But seeing Woods out in that water going under and not coming up---that had been all-consuming terror. Nothing compared to that. Nothing.
Jace hadn't come back up, though. My chest hurt so bad I couldn't take deep breaths. Jace was gone. I had seen it happen, and the broken sobs coming from Bethy as Blaire held her on the sand only ripped through me harder. I couldn't imagine that. That had almost been me. That could have been me on that sand, knowing the man I loved wasn't coming back to me.
Woods's body shuddered and reality started to hit me. The idea of losing him had been all I could think about. But he'd been out there for a reason. He had gone to save his best friend. He'd watched his best friend be pulled under, unable to save him.
I tightened my hold on him. How was he going to survive this?
Bethy continued to wail and Woods's body went stiff. He was strung so tight he was trembling.
"Get her the fuck out of my sight!" he roared. I jumped back, startled by the angry hate that laced his words. His eyes were glaring and focused on someone behind me. I turned to see that he was looking at Bethy.
Blaire's face went pale and Bethy cried harder.
"I said to get her selfish, trashy ass off my beach! Now!"
I swallowed hard and watched as Bethy looked up at him with big, pain-filled eyes.
Rush was behind Blaire, helping Bethy stand up. I heard him telling her they needed to take Bethy somewhere else. Woods was yelling at Bethy. He was blaming her.
"Woods?" I was almost afraid of the man in front of me. He swung his gaze to mine and there was an emptiness in them I couldn't reach.
"She killed him," he said simply.
Maybe she had. She had gone into the water and almost drowned. Jace had died saving her. But she had been drinking.
"She loved him," I said.
Woods shook his head. "No. She didn't love him. You don't do what she did and call that love."
I glanced back and saw Blaire lead Bethy up to the boardwalk. The cops would want to question her. She wouldn't be able to go far.
"Woods, she lost him, too. We all did," Thad said as he stood watching Woods, afraid to get too close.
"I lost him because he wanted me to save her worthless, drunk ass. I did what he wanted and I lost him." Woods's voice was cold and emotionless.
Headlights lit up the beach as ambulances and police cars arrived. Paramedics swarmed the stretch of sand and I watched as they were told by several of the people at the party what they had seen. A paramedic approached Woods.
"You were one of the people who were in the water?" he asked.
"Yes," Woods replied.
"We need to check you out," he said.
"No."
I watched as the paramedic started to argue and stepped between him and Woods. "He's fine. If I think he needs medical attention I will make sure he gets it. Please, he needs to be left alone."
The man looked up at Woods and then back at me. "Okay," he said, then turned away.
"I'm not leaving until they've found him," Woods said.
I turned around and reached for his hand. He laced his fingers through mine. "Okay," I said. "We'll stay right here."
"You'll stay with me?" he asked.
"I'm not leaving your side."
"Thank you."
We sat there for the next four hours. Rush had brought Woods a blanket from one of the ambulances to keep him from getting cold since he was soaking wet. He didn't say anything, he just dropped it on his shoulders. Rush had been out there, too. He had been the reason Woods hadn't drowned. They had both lived this nightmare.
After the police questioned Bethy, Darla came and took her home. Blaire took Nate and went home at Rush's insistence. The crowd had thinned. Helicopters spotlighted the dark water and boats searched in vain. It was impossible to see in the dark.
Woods sat there beside me, not letting go of my hand and staring at the water. Watching them look for Jace. He wanted Jace's body found. I understood that. He didn't want to leave the beach until he knew Jace wasn't out there alone.
Finally, the helicopters left. The boats went away. The paramedics packed up and drove off. A police officer tried to get us to leave but they weren't going to argue with the owner of the Kerrington Club. They finally left us.
We weren't alone, though. Rush stood off in the distance, his hands in the pockets of his jeans. At some point he'd changed clothes. He was staring off at the dark water, too. I kept thinking this was a dream I would wake up from, but it never ended. I glanced over to our left and Thad sat there on the sand with his arms wrapped around his legs and his knees bent, like a little boy who was lost.
They all hurt.
And there was nothing I could do. Nothing anyone could do.
The sound of the ocean crashing against the shore wasn't soothing like it had once been. It now felt like a taunt. Reminding us that it was stronger. It was in control.
Someone else moved in the darkness and I watched as Grant came running down the boardwalk. He hadn't been at the party. I never knew if he was in town or somewhere else. The guy never stayed in one place.
He stopped at Rush and Rush turned his eyes to look at him. They stood there for a moment, then Grant hung his head and dropped to his knees.
It was morning when the searchers found Jace's body washed up one mile down the shore.
Woods
I stood under the shower spray and let Della wash me. She washed my hair and body so methodically and thoroughly. She never said a word. She didn't ask me questions. She was just there beside me. I needed her to stay there. If she left me I was afraid the reality would set in and I couldn't let it. It hurt too fucking much.
"You're clean," Della said softly, opening the shower door and stepping out. She picked up a towel and began to dry me. And I let her.
When she was finished she wrapped the towel around herself and pressed a kiss to my chest. "Go, get in bed. You need to sleep," she told me.
She turned to walk away and I reached out and grabbed her hand. "Don't leave me." The words sounded more like pleading. They didn't sound like me at all.
She shook her head. "I'm not. I just need to get dry. I'll be in bed in a minute," she assured me.
"I'll wait," I told her as I stood there. I was scared of my own nightmares now. I couldn't lie down and face them without her with me.
"Okay. I'll hurry," she said. I saw the sadness and pain in her eyes.
She dried off her body and wrapped the towel around her hair, then went to the dresser. When she opened it and pulled out a pair of panties, I moved toward her.
"No. Don't wear clothes." I wanted her in my arms just like this. I wanted her warmth to reach my empty coldness inside. She was the only reason I was still alive. If it hadn't been for her I wouldn't have stopped until I'd drowned, too.
"Okay."
She reached for my hand and took me over to the bed. I lay down and she climbed in beside me, then pulled the covers up over us. If Rush hadn't come back I wouldn't be here now. I held on to her tighter.
She would've been here without me. I didn't want to think about that. Not being there to protect her. To hold her. Not being there to spend forever with her.
"I came back for you." My voice sounded hoarse.
She tilted back her head and looked up at me. "Thank you."
I didn't say anything else. I wasn't sure what to say. Within minutes, my eyes were too heavy to hold open and the smooth heat of Della's skin gave me the comfort I needed to fall asleep.
When I opened my eyes, I stared at the ceiling. It was late afternoon. I could tell by the sunlight through the windows. Della's slow, even breathing told me she was still asleep. I hadn't dreamed. Thank God.
I hadn't wanted to dream. It all replayed over and over again in my head. Jace was going to propose to Bethy. He'd been ready to spend his life with her. We had been right there together and everything had been fine.
Then Bethy had changed all that. She'd turned a summer night we were all supposed to enjoy together into a nightmare. One that would never leave us. One that we would all relive over and over the rest of our lives. Remembering the helpless feeling of knowing he was gone and there was nothing we could do to bring him back.
I had lived on this beach my entire life. We had seen more than one death from the water but it had never been a death that impacted me. It had never been someone I loved. It had never been real.
It was real now.
Della moved in my arms and I held her tighter. She was my glue right now. Being able to touch her was keeping me together. Last night she'd sat right there on that beach, refusing to let go of my hand.
When they had found his body she had wrapped her arms around me and used every ounce of strength to hold me as they covered him and took him. I couldn't have made it without her. Holding her reminded me that I was alive. I hadn't drowned. When she walked away from me or left me for even a moment, I was under that wave again, being sucked away and unable to fight it.
"Woods?" Della's concerned voice brought me out of my head and I blinked, then focused on her face. "I'm here," she said simply, and brushed the hair from my forehead.
I reached up and touched her face. I didn't have words just yet. I couldn't talk about it. I just needed her near me.
She moved her body over mine until she was on top of me. She straddled my waist and pressed small kisses to my neck and shoulders. This was her way of easing my pain. I could feel it in each gentle brush of her lips. Her hips moved down until I could feel her wet heat slide over me. The contact was all I needed to be ready.
Della lifted her hips and I slid into her with ease. When I was completely inside she leaned forward and rested her head on my heart. We stayed there a few moments. Joined in a way that only she could achieve.
When her hips began to rock against me she didn't seek my mouth or get frantic with her need for release. She just loved me. She used her body to love me and hold me in the most intimate way.
I wrapped my arms around her and held her against me. We moved with each other in a perfect rhythm that was selfless. Its purpose was to heal and comfort. When Della's warmth began to tighten around me and her body started to tremble, I cried out her name and she followed me.
After I filled her with my release she didn't move from me. She held me inside her as we stared into each other's eyes. All the pain and devastation of last night was there. We didn't need words.
"He would have wanted you to come back," she finally said.
"I know," I told her.
She pressed a kiss to my cheek. "He loved you."
"I know."
Della
The beach was empty. It was the middle of the day in August and the beach was empty. Almost forty-eight hours had passed since Jace drowned. Tourists had already gone back to their lives. It was the locals who were left to mourn. Woods hadn't wanted to leave the house yet. I was going to have to make him eventually but I didn't want to push him.
I thought I should call Tripp but I didn't know what to say. He was probably with family. I would see him tomorrow at the funeral. I knew that. I just felt like I should call. Say something. He would mourn this just as hard as Woods. Jace was his cousin. He was like his little brother.
Then there was Bethy. I hadn't called Bethy. I wasn't sure how Woods would react to that. He obviously blamed her for Jace's death. I was afraid he always would. I wasn't sure if forgiveness could be granted to her for this. Not from Woods.
Rush had dropped by that morning to check on Woods. He had still been sleeping. I'd told him I'd let Woods know he came by. Grant had stopped by an hour later. His red-rimmed eyes reminded me of Woods's hollow look.
Woods hadn't been awake then, either. He had slept until eleven. When he realized I wasn't in bed with him he had jumped up and come after me. He hadn't said anything but pulled me into his lap. We had sat there for an hour in silence.
Finally, I had told him about Rush and Grant stopping by. Then I'd convinced him to get dressed and eat something. I turned from my view of the gulf and walked back into the kitchen to check on the chicken Parmesan I had put in the oven.
Woods walked out of the bedroom freshly showered and dressed in jeans and a T-shirt. "I need to go to the office today," he said.
"Lunch is almost ready. Can you eat first?" I really wanted him to eat.
"After we eat I want us both to go. I want you with me."
I didn't ask why, I just nodded. Right now he seemed to need me. I would be whatever he needed me to be. It was my turn to be the strong one. This time I would be his shoulder to lean on.
"It smells good," he said as he walked around the counter to kiss me. He was doing that a lot lately too. More than normal. Sometimes they were desperate, hungry kisses that led to more, but most of the time they were kisses that held words he couldn't say.
"I need to go to the store. I worked with what we had," I explained as I pulled the chicken out of the oven. I kept myself busy fixing us each a plate and toasting some bread and buttering it.
"Soda?" I asked him.
"Do we have sweet tea?" he asked.
We did. I had made it that morning. I fixed him a glass while he carried our food to the table.
"Thank you," he said as I set the drink down in front of him.
"You're welcome."
He reached up and grabbed my hand. "No. Thank you for being exactly what I needed and knowing when I wanted to speak and when I didn't." That was one of the longest sentences he'd said since we'd come home from the beach.
"I will always be whatever you need me to be," I said simply before taking my seat.
We ate for a few minutes in silence.
"I need to see his parents . . . and Tripp. He's called my phone twice. I should see him too."
"Okay."
"I want you to go with me."
"Okay," I agreed.
Woods looked out at the water. "Do you know when the funeral is?"
"Yes. Rush said it was tomorrow at two."
His jaw worked as he stared out the window. "Will Bethy be there?"
"Yes. I'm sure she will be," I replied.
His jaw continued to shift like he was clenching his teeth.
I reached over and took his hand. "Woods. She loved him too. She made a mistake that she'll have to live with for the rest of her life, but she did love him. You know that."
"I can't forgive her," he said.
"I understand that. But remember, he loved her. He loved her enough to die for her. She's suffering. Don't doubt that. She's suffering because she knows why this happened. You can hate her but try to remind yourself of the pain she has to be going through. And that Jace loved her more than he loved himself."
Woods didn't say anything; he just sat there, letting me hold his hand while he stared out the window.
Everyone in Rosemary was at the funeral. There were more people there than I'd ever seen at any event in town. Bethy was lifeless. Her face was pale and her cheeks were hollowed. She stood beside her aunt Darla and a man I assumed was her father. Jace's parents I had seen a few times at the club. His mother's eyes were red and swollen as she clung to his father's arm. Tripp stood to the side of them. He was dressed in a dark suit. You couldn't see his tattoos and he looked nothing like a biker bartender but more like the Ivy League graduate that he would have been if he hadn't run from his parents' plans for him.
Woods held on to my hand like it was his lifeline. He hadn't let it go since we arrived. Rush also held Blaire's hand just as tightly. Nate wasn't with them today.
Grant stood on the other side of Rush, his hands tucked in his front pockets and his face pinched in a permanent frown. It looked like he was trying not to cry.
The others were there, too, but I couldn't see them from where we were standing.
Each one of them had had an impact on the others' lives.
They all had stories.
They had all loved, and many had lost.
They had expected to grow up and become adults together. Get married and let their kids play together.
They'd planned on being the next generation in Rosemary.
What they hadn't planned on was losing one of their own. Losing a member of their tight group. They hadn't seen their future minus one. Death hadn't touched them before. Not like this. Not one of them.
Everything was about to change.