Silverthorn (21 page)

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

When the gang and I got back to my place, I felt incredibly guilty for having left Lulu alone for much of the day without letting her out or refilling her food and water bowls. Thankfully, she hadn’t relieved herself in the house, and after letting her out, I gave her quite a few treats and fixed her some dinner. All the attention our visitors lavished on her hopefully made her forget my earlier disappearance. More than that, her positive energy lifted my spirits.

Over the next few hours, since we feared that Darius and his vampire minions might arrive to torment us, we played a couple board games to keep our minds off of the supernatural threat that hung over our heads…and also to stay alert in case of a vampire attack. At 1:00 A.M., with no assault forthcoming however, we paired off: Alexis and Celestina took Grams’s room, Kendall, Brandon, and Nolan lay camped out on the family room floor, while I retired to my room with Lulu settled around my feet to keep guard.

Just as sleep began to claim me, I heard a tap on the door. Lulu took in a deep breath to bark, but I silenced her with a light murmur. “Yes,” I said to the closed door.

It opened a second later. Nolan stood in the doorway holding a sheet, blanket, and pillow. “Mind if I pull up some carpet? Kendall and Brandon are making me a little…uncomfortable.”

After their life and death struggle earlier in my car, I wasn’t surprised that Kendall and Brandon might get passionate. There’s nothing like the fear of loss to persuade potential lovers to let romantic sparks fly.

“If it’s too much to ask—”

“Not at all,” I said. “Come on in. You can take the spot to my left and help Lulu keep watch.”

“Night duty, huh?” he asked with a smirk in his tone. He tossed the bedding materials on the floor and went about settling down.

“Were they doing okay?” I asked. “Kendall and Brandon?”

“They didn’t say a word, but Brandon went over to cuddle with her. They’re a pretty intense couple.”

“We’ve known each other for years, but that’s the first I’ve heard of them getting intimate.” I hesitated to continue, unsure how much I should tell him. Then again, we were
all
in the same band, and he had a right to know about their history. If we hoped to become successful, we’d be spending quite a bit of time together in the future, and we had to have a full grasp of our characteristics, personalities, eccentricities, and personal connections. Keeping secrets would breed mistrust, whether real or imagined. It would also isolate us, thereby making miscommunication run rampant and most likely lead to the band breaking up. (I’d read plenty of band biographies to know that much.)

“You look worried,” he said. “Is it because they’re in the band?”

I picked up on the unasked question: are you worried a romantic relationship might imperil the group? I couldn’t determine if he asked that question with concern for the band, or if he broached the subject because we also had a connection. “I don’t know.” A few days ago, he’d stated that we had to remain professional, despite the romantic connection we shared. However, that hadn’t stopped us from nearly kissing, and I wasn’t sure if it would stop us in the future. The magnetic desire to give in to my temptation was almost acute. I’d never before felt such an all-consuming need to give in to my hormones before, and I already found myself imagining what would happen if Nolan crept into bed with me.

“Do you remember what happened the other day when we touched?” he asked.

“You mean when I got dizzy?”

“Do you remember what you said?”

I couldn’t recall much during that moment, but the hopeful sound in his voice set me on edge. “Was it something I might regret?”

He chuckled. “You called me…Mr. Marvelous!”

My breath escaped me. I wanted to sit up in bed and look into his eyes to discover if he was just messing with me. “Liar,” I said, hoping that statement rang true. Heat scorched my cheeks at the revelation.

He laughed louder, a playful, full-throated rumble that made Lulu sit up straight. “You did. Maybe I’m starring in the next Marvel superhero film and don’t even know it.”

“I did not say that!” Was that the reason Nolan didn’t fully embrace me earlier?

“We touched and you…lost yourself. You got giddy and started giggling. You fell against me like you were wasted.”

“No!” I definitely remember feeling light-headed, but calling Nolan…
Mr. Marvelous
and giggling like a teenage girl? That was preposterous.

“That’s when I knew I couldn’t touch you again.”

That comment pierced my heart. “Why?” The word came out sounding weak and forlorn. I hated it, but that’s how I felt: abandoned without hope for reconciliation.

“I knew that touching you changed things for us, and I needed time to figure out why. It’s another reason I went with Darius. I needed to get my mind off…the possibility of us.”

My heart exploded with feeling: hope that he’d given thought to us as a couple, despite his declaration that we’d never be anything more than bandmates; frustration that he considered we might not be a good match. “We hugged,” I said, the emotion rising inside me making it difficult to say anything more.

“You noticed that I didn’t
hold
you.”

I turned toward him and held out my palm. “Take my hand.”

“No.” He shook his head. “I can’t. I don’t want to hurt you.” He looked down. “You know what I am. I don’t know how to control it. You saw how I took down those vampires in the church. When I touch someone with supernatural abilities, I get this power surge, and I can’t control it. I—”

“What?”

He looked uncertain whether he should disclose what he’d rather keep secret. “When that energy shoots through me, I don’t want to control myself. It makes me feel
alive
. There are no limits, no boundaries. My thoughts become clearer, quicker, more focused. I become less conscientious about those nearby me.” His eyes met mine in the darkness. “And once I get a taste of that power, I want more!” He appeared ashamed. “Don’t you see? I can hurt you. I won’t let that happen. Ever!”

Despite all the negatives he’d counted off, I believed in him no matter how much he scared me. He cared about me. And I cared for him. “Nolan?”

He didn’t raise his gaze.

“Take my hand.” Something inside me needed to connect with him. Part of it derived from the symbolic nature of our relationship, which in all honesty, increased my yearning to give him something very few others on the planet could provide for him. The other aspect that persuaded me to give in to him stemmed from an incredible attraction that I found difficult to ignore.

“I can’t. I won’t—”

“Take my hand, Nolan. Take it!”

Needing no further invitation, he drew himself up and looked deep into my eyes. He radiated a strong desire not to hurt me as he held out his hand.

Without restraint, I took it, and didn’t feel anything…for a second. A moment later, I moved my head in either direction, and it felt like my vision struggled to keep up with the motion. That happened sometimes when I drank too much, so I didn’t think anything of it. “See?” I said, adopting a spirited smile. “I feel fine. Better than ever, in fact.” I looked into his eyes, sensing not just heat but greed: an insatiable craving. And my hormones begged to surrender to that same hunger. “I want—”

“More,” he finished for me. His eyes grew bright, intense. “I want more!” He got to his feet and lingered above me, breathing heavily and swallowing to work moisture into his parched mouth, as though he’d walked for hours in a desert searching for water to quench his thirst…and only I could supply him with what he needed. “No, we shouldn’t be—” He tried to extract his hand.

I clamped my other hand down on it to prevent him from breaking the connection, but with one powerful tug, he managed to disentangle our palms. “Whoa,” I said, placing my hands against my temples to offset the spinning sensation that overcame me. “This is some serious mojo. I’ll bet even Snoop Dogg would get high by touching you!”

He winced at that comment and drew his hand back. “See?” He bolted upright.

The sudden movement startled Lulu, who got up, faced him, and snarled.

“Even your dog thinks I’m a threat.” But he looked at Lulu with a harmless expression. “You’re a good protector, aren’t you?” He reached out and, although Lulu continued to snarl, the sounds slipping past her jowls subsided until he rubbed her ears, after which she released a soft whimper that revealed how much she appreciated the affection. “Yeah, you know it’s true,” Nolan said, his slight grin growing wider with every passing second. “You like when I scratch your ears, don’t you? Oh, but you won’t show it, will you? No, of course not. You’re just a little tease!” When Lulu lifted her head and started kissing Nolan’s neck, his expression remained flat, but looking closer, his shoulders curled inwards a bit, revealing that he was charmed by the attention.

While I watched their interaction, my dizziness began to fade, leaving a faint headache in its wake. “You’re right,” I said, hating to admit that nausea hit me. “I could do without the after effects…How do you feel?”

“Wide awake.” He backed away from Lulu and set his gaze on mine. “Strong. Ready for anything.”

How much power did I give him? Due to the reeling nature of the connection we shared, the moment we touched, I lost track of time. That led to a question I needed to ask: “How long did we touch?”

“I don’t know.” He looked at me, inspecting my expression for some measure of regret. “Why?” He backed away from Lulu and went back to the floor.

“I’d like to know…” How could I explain that, although I had freely given up some time from my life, I didn’t want to give up too much…without sounding resentful? The attachment was amazing, but the aftereffects left me somewhat queasy. Since I had no idea how much time passed while we touched, I feared that I might be unwilling to sever the link. Given that insight, I presumed that, as when you consumed too much of anything, you often paid the price, depending on how far you went overboard.

“When we touch,” I said, “time flies by. I have no way to find out how much—”

“Of your life you donated to me?”

“Is that the way you look at it? Like I’m giving blood?”

“No.” But his guilty expression revealed that he also had a difficult time allowing me to give up time from my life to ensure that he remained at full strength. “It’s worse than giving blood. You know why? The human body can always make more blood. Most people give a pint, and they might get lightheaded, but that’s about it. With me? Each time we touch, you’re that much closer to getting gray hair.”

I realized that if I intended to help him in this way again, I’d need to time how long we touched, so I couldn’t drain the life from me. We needed to find a balance.

“See?” Nolan lay down and stared at the ceiling. “I can’t touch you,” he said with a finality in his voice. “That’s all there is to it.”

From the irritation in his tone, I sensed that, while he may have stated that we shouldn’t allow romantic feelings to overpower our professional goals, he wanted to break that overture. Silence stretched between us. “Do you want to?” I asked as the haze slowly dissipated from my mind. “Touch me?”

He was so quiet that only the sound of Lulu licking her paws elicited the least bit of noise. As the seconds continued to mount, I felt heat creeping into my cheeks. Thankfully, with darkness shrouding the room, Nolan wouldn’t notice the crimson making my face all but glow. Why had I tempted him by acting like a seductress? How moronic!

“Yes.” His voice was thick with longing. “I want to touch you.”

My heart stampeded in my chest. His words made my stomach clench, and I held my breath, waiting to see if he’d utter another word. Although relieved, my face grew even warmer as my uncertainty mounted. What now? I was so inexperienced when it came to romance that I feared I’d say or do something stupid, so I just remained quiet, hoping that Nolan would set the tone.

He released a frustrated sigh. “But it won’t work. I can’t send you to an early grave.”

“I
love
it when you whisper sweet nothings into my ear.” Far from embodying the sarcasm my words lent, I found it difficult to stop my thighs from quivering with uneasiness.

“Darius said for every minute we touch, you lose three days of your life.”

“What?” I jerked up in bed, shocked. That seemed impossible. I presumed we’d touched for maybe thirty seconds a short while ago, which meant I’d just lost a day and a half from my life. “One minute for three days? That’s—”

“Ludicrous, I know. That means if we touched for one full hour, you’d lose—”

“Six months of my life!” That notion made my nausea return.

“When I grabbed Darius by the forearm, he knew I was trying to siphon off some energy. It worked, but he said that his lifespan wouldn’t change since he’s eternal. A slow grin developed. “While Zephora was sleeping in the car, I stole some energy from her until she started to awaken. With all her power, I have no idea how much damage I did, but it’ll probably take her longer than you thought for her to fully recover.”