SilverMoonLight (SilverMoonSaga Book 1) (15 page)

»Please,«
I whispered. »Explain it to me. I just want to know the truth.«

Calum
had swiveled around in the chair so he was looking out of the window. He didn’t
say a word. I looked at him; he was angry, that much was sure. But it only made
him more beautiful. In an unconscious gesture, he brushed his tousled hair from
his forehead and clamped his jaw together tightly. His cheekbones appeared more
preeminent, and his hands were balled into fists on the armrests. If this were
a movie, the young heroine would have thrown herself into her prince’s arms by
now, I thought to myself. But Skye wasn’t Hollywood—far from it. He still
didn’t answer, just stared out of the window instead. After several minutes of
silence I couldn’t bear it anymore and stood up, not sure whether I should go
or stay. Then, finally giving up, I turned towards the door with resignation.

»Wait,
Emma, please. Let’s go to the wood, we can talk in peace there.«

He
pulled on a jacket and we walked down the stairs. We left the house without a
word. I had to struggle to keep up with his fast pace, and was soon out of
breath.

»Could
you walk a little slower please?« I panted. He turned around and gave me an
impatient look, but slowed his steps. His body language seemed to be clearly
spelling out rejection, and I wondered whether it had been a good idea to go
with him.

We
sat down by a small pond. It was already starting to get dark; we didn’t have
much time. Ethan might send out a search party if I didn’t get home relatively
soon. I hoped he wouldn’t be there when I got back.

Calum
remained silent.

»Do
you not want to explain it to me?« I began, trying to break his silence. »It
would make everything a lot easier.«

»It’s
not that simple. I don’t think you’ll understand—or that you’ll be able to
understand—why I’m acting the way I am. I’d lose you, and that scares me that
this seems difficult for me,« he said hesitantly.

His
admission took my breath away. I turned to look at him. He was staring at me,
and I really could see fear in his eyes. I cautiously stretched my hand out
towards his, feeling the now-familiar electric impulse in my fingers as we
touched.

»Is
it that bad?« I whispered.

He
reached for my hand, pulled it to his mouth, then laid it against his cheek.
His skin felt as soft as silk. I fell silent and waited.

»Worse.«
Once again, he paused for what felt like forever. Then he sighed and gave in.

»I
don’t know how to start. I’d really like you to understand, to know everything,
so I don’t need to keep secrets from you anymore. But on the other hand it
would be much better for you if you didn’t know.«

I
looked at him helplessly.

»I’m
not what I seem to be. I’m not what you think I am,« he said slowly, so softly
that I almost didn’t hear him.

»What...?«
I looked at him, not understanding.

»Let
me finish, please, it’s hard enough.«

So
I fell silent. He didn’t look at me as he carried on.

»As
you know, I don’t go into the lakes or the sea either. It’s just that, with me,
it’s for a different reason. I’m not afraid of the water or its depth. Quite
the opposite, it’s my natural element. My people live in the water. But while
I’m here living with humans, I can only go back to the water on nights when
there’s a full moon.«

I
thought I must have misheard. What had he just said?

»I
didn’t mean to fall in love with you. I tried to keep a distance, to keep you
away from me. But I wasn’t strong enough. I knew from the very beginning that
it wouldn’t end well.«

My
heart began to pound, but I didn’t interrupt. He was in love with me.

»I’m
not like you and that’s why we can’t be together, it’s too dangerous for you.
At some point I’ll have to go back forever.«

I
grasped his arm and forced him to look at me.

»Calum,
what are you talking about? What’s that supposed to mean? How are you not the
same as me?«

I
felt stunned, confused. Something was wrong, very wrong.

»Please,«
he looked at me pleadingly. »Don’t make it even harder for me than it already
is.«

As
I breathed heavily, fear stiffened my body. He put an arm around me and pulled
me closer to him.

»The
Scots call my people the shellycoats,« he whispered into my ear, burying his
face in my hair. His sudden proximity threw me completely off-guard. My heart
was racing.

»There
are many names for us. We prefer to call ourselves watermen.«

Shellycoats?
I was just about to ask him more questions when a memory stirred within me.

The
bonfires, the forests, the lakes and the stories my mother had told me. She had
often spoken of the shellycoats, an ancient clan of elves. Watermen who came
ashore to dance when there was a full moon. In the legends, they lived in
palaces deep down at the bottom of Scottish lakes. On the nights they were
allowed to spend on land, they lured virgins from the surrounding villages to
the banks of the lakes and dragged them down underwater with them.

»They’re
beautiful,« said my mother’s voice in my thoughts, »their skin shimmers like
silver in the moonlight. Their hair falls in curls over their shoulders and the
lakes are reflected in their eyes.«

I
had loved the stories, but they had always scared me too. They were full of
unrequited love and suffering. As a child, I hadn’t understood it all, but I
remembered that they had always been the stories that made my mother cry for no
apparent reason.

I
looked at him in shock, unable to respond. Slowly, I tried to free myself from
his grasp, but he kept holding on to me tightly.

»But
you look like a human. You feel like a human,« I stammered.

No,
that wasn’t true, I only realized at that moment, seeing clearly for the first
time, and knowing that he was telling the truth. He felt different from any
other person I had ever touched. Everything about him was more intense, more
brilliant. And I realized that, from the very first moment I met him, I had
known he wasn’t like me.

He
watched me warily.

Very
slowly, I began to understand what Ethan had meant, began to understand my
mother’s stories.

Beautiful
watermen who seduced virgins, made children with them, and then either drowned
the women or let them die of heartbreak. What I had once thought to be scary
stories for nights around the bonfire became terrifying reality.

It
was completely absurd, but I was scared.

The
beauty of the lake had vanished. Suddenly, all I saw were the dark shadows of
the trees, moving even closer in the dying light. And I knew that he was
telling me the truth. I couldn’t think clearly. What would he do to me? Why had
he brought me here, to the water? I had to leave. I had to get away from him.

I
stood up and looked into his eyes, which suddenly looked completely pale. He
took a step towards me, but I backed away. He paused.

»You
don’t need to be afraid of me, Emma.« His voice sounded sad. »But no matter
what you do,« he said, more insistently now, »you can’t tell anyone. You have
to promise me. It’s important, do you understand?« He looked at me imploringly.
»It’s dangerous for you, knowing this.«

I
nodded. He reached out as though he wanted to hold me. But I took a few steps
backwards, turned around, then ran and ran. I had to get away from here, away
from him.

As
I rushed into the house, crying with despair, Bree stood in the hallway. She
pulled me across onto the sofa, held me tightly, and didn’t say a word. It took
a while before I calmed down. But she still didn’t let go of me, holding me
tenderly like a little child.

»Better?«
she asked as my tears subsided, her voice fraught with worry.

I
sniffed and nodded.

»I’ll
make you a hot chocolate.«

The
thought of something so simple and comforting made me smile involuntarily. I
watched gratefully as she went into the kitchen.

»I’ll
do my homework now, I think,« I said a few minutes later after finishing the
hot chocolate.

»You
went to see Calum, didn’t you? Do you want to talk about it?«

»No,
not really. But you can tell Ethan I’ll do what he said.«

I
sat down at my desk and switched on the little lamp. What was I supposed to do
now? The last two days had been too much for me. I put on some music and opened
the window. It hurt so much; I already missed him. I should be afraid of him
now that I knew who he was.
What
he was. But could I ever really be
afraid of him? He had never done anything to hurt me. On the contrary, aside
from his initial rudeness, he had always been so caring with me.

What
was I supposed to do? What was the right thing? Now, more than ever, I needed
my mother. I had only thought of her occasionally in the last few weeks. What
advice would she have given me?

The
more I thought about it, the more sure I became. I knew what she would have
said. I would stay away from him. It was the only way of preventing myself from
getting hurt like she had been. I thought back, realizing now how lonely she
had been. Why had she never told me? It would be difficult, but at some point I
would get over it. I hoped so, in any case. Didn’t people say that time heals
all wounds?

But
it hadn’t worked with my mother.

I
threw myself down onto my bed and sobbed my pain out into the pillows. Then I
cried myself to sleep.

Chapter Eleven

In
the final week before the school holidays, Calum didn’t come to lessons or swim
training. It was unbearable; I wanted to at least be able to see him. I missed
him so much. The thought of living without him seemed impossible to me. And as
hard as I tried, I couldn’t feel afraid of him.

I
decided to go visit Sophie in the book shop. I had to know where Calum was. The
familiar doorbell tinkled as I walked in, and Sophie came to greet me, clothed
in a dark red dress. When she saw me, she wrapped her arms around me without a
word. I didn’t need to say anything.

»It’s
better this way, Emma. I know it must be terribly hard for you. He left a few
days ago.«

My
heart stopped for a moment.

She
continued. »When he comes back again after the holidays«—it started to beat
again, but twice as fast as normal—»it won’t be so hard anymore. It’s a good
thing that you won’t see each other for a while. You’re young; you’ll get over
it and fall in love again. And whether you believe it or not, your heart will
break many more times. That’s how it is with love.«

She
smiled at me. Why did everyone think these platitudes would comfort me? I
didn’t want to fall in love again. I wanted Calum.

I
sat down with her for a while, listening to her talk about her latest
acquisitions in the shop.

The
next morning, we all set off in the car. Ethan had planned a three-week round
trip around Scotland. Everyone was excited, but I was filled with sadness.

I
had packed my things without any enthusiasm. I tried to pull myself together so
I didn’t ruin the holiday for the others. After all, the tour had been planned
mainly for my benefit, so I could get to know Scotland better.

Ethan
had been incredibly secretive about the route we would be taking. For days on
end, he had tucked himself away in his study, fastidiously planning every
detail. He never left anything to chance. Not even Bree knew where we were
going. We set off, taking the highway to our first destination, Eilean Donan
Castle.

»Did
you know that this place was used as the setting for
Braveheart
and
Highlander
?«
asked Amelie. Shivering, I rubbed my arms. It was cool in the shadow of the
high grey walls, and the thought of medieval executions wasn’t making me feel
any warmer. Normally, I would have mustered up more enthusiasm for the
atmospheric surroundings, but today it refused to be summoned. In the
afternoon, we drove on, taking the country roads this time. As the wonderful
landscape of the Highlands swept past, I assumed that we were en route to
Edinburgh. The twins had fallen asleep and Peter and Amelie weren’t squabbling
for a change, so I was able to brood on my thoughts without being distracted. I
had to be sure that I had made the right decision. I tried to think back to my
mother’s stories about the shellycoats. It was all so long ago now. Should I
confront Ethan about Calum again? Maybe he might tell me more this time. After
giving it some thought, I decided against it. It was for the best if I didn’t mention
Calum anymore; after all, I didn’t want to provoke any more fits of anger. I’d
have to find out what I wanted to know by myself, and there was sure to be an
opportunity for that on this trip.

Before
long, I realized that my prediction of our destination had been wrong; Ethan
wasn’t taking us straight to Edinburgh. Instead, we were staying in Fort
William for the night and renting bikes.