Silver Linings (21 page)

The result of all this remorse was that when the family returned home from the wedding reception there was a melancholy air throughout the house.

Eventually Connie climbed into Johnny’s bed. But instead of being welcomed by her husband, her partner for the night was none other than a very fractious Rosebud.

Inconsolable, Johnny spent his wedding night alone by the fireside. All he could do was plead with God. Over and over he asked Him through sobs and cries, ‘Why, dear Father, did you decide to punish me yet again? I try to think what heinous crimes I have committed that make You test me so? And to take my Jack, who was just a devil-may-care slip of a lad. But he was a loyal son who deserved not to have his life stolen from him.’ The other problem that was causing Johnny so much grief was that Jack wouldn’t be buried in Seafield cemetery beside his mother, so the family could not go and pay their respects to him there. Instead Jack’s mortal remains were now in the depths of the Mediterranean Sea. It was just so difficult for Johnny to accept that all Jack would have in remembrance was his name on a plaque in South Leith church. The plaque would also register the names of the other young men in the congregation who had fallen in the present conflict.

Honeymooning with Connie was a prospect that Johnny just could not contemplate at this time of such overwhelming sorrow. Unfortunately this abstention was his way of doing penance, and never for a moment did he consider that it was wrong to inflict this punishment on innocent Connie.

Kate also had a problem with honeymooning. In her case it was not that she and Hans slept apart. No, they were very much together in every sense of being married. They had, however, not gone to a hotel for the wedding night as planned but had stayed at Parkville Place.

It was right that they had because Kate was awakened in the early hours with what at first she thought were the howls of a wounded animal. Going downstairs to investigate she found the wails were coming from Kitty, her heartbroken niece.

‘Come on, darling,’ she pleaded as she swept Kitty up into her arms. ‘Jack is at peace and he would not wish you to be so distraught.’

‘Aunty Kate,’ sobbed Kitty, ‘why?’

‘Why did Jack have to die?’

‘Yes, but also why did Dad and Connie … ?’

A few long sighs escaped Kate before she muttered, ‘Don’t be too hard on your dad or Connie. Can’t you see they were just two lonely people who started to be attracted to each other? It is a natural thing for a man and woman to be drawn towards each other. Nature is clever. Her purpose is to get us to reproduce and it has made the union of a man and …’ She was about to say wife but she hesitated before adding, ‘a woman a desirable and beautiful experience.’

‘It can’t be as you say because I am always told it is wrong and dirty.’

Kate huffed. ‘They say that to put you off. You see, my darling, no one would wish you to have a child out of marriage. It is just so important that a child is brought up in a home with a mum and dad.’

‘Then why did God take my mum?’

Kate couldn’t answer that question so all she said was, ‘Monday is a new beginning for you. You are going out into the world and you will meet many people and be tempted so often to break the rules.’ Kate paused. ‘I know about temptation because I broke the rules twice and …’

‘Did you ever regret breaking them?’

‘To be truthful – no. And faced with what I was on those two occasions I would do exactly as I did then. But, my dear Kitty, one of them resulted in my having a miscarriage after an accident and that I do regret. Believe me, since then I have just yearned to be a mother. I am lucky in that your mum shared you and your brothers with me. That’s fine but I have not had my own child to hold and I sorely regret having missed that.’ Kitty made as if to interrupt but Kate silenced her by pressing two of her fingers over Kitty’s mouth. ‘Shush, dear, and listen. Your dad, my brother Johnny, is a good man. What I believe, and I most certainly do, is that Connie does care deeply for him. What I am saying is they are not bed-hoppers. They genuinely care for each other and they never meant to hurt anyone. Surely you won’t punish two lonely …’

Kitty struggled free from Kate. ‘Lonely? How could Dad or Connie be lonely when they had the family all around them?’

Drawing Kitty closely into herself again, Kate replied, ‘Kitty, I know how lonely and isolated you can feel in a room full of people. There are different kinds of loneliness. Hans and I were lonely until we found each other.’ Hoping that Kitty would in time mature and repair the broken relationship with her father, Kate reluctantly removed her arms from Kitty. Without saying another word Kate returned to her bedroom and sank gratefully into the comforting arms of her husband.

Monday saw Johnny up and dressed for work. The luxury of taking time to mourn was something that the war did not allow. He was just about to leave when Rosebud, dragging a doll with her, came into the kitchen. ‘Dad,’ she demanded, ‘when is Kitty coming home? I don’t like her bossing me about but I don’t like this house without her.’

Johnny stopped to stoop down and take Rosebud into his arms and then in a voice laden with emotion he gently said, ‘Kitty has gone away to a new job but I’m sure she’ll come and see you on her day off. Now I will ask Connie to take you down to see Granny. Granny is very sad and seeing you will cheer her up.’

At the shipyards, a management and union meeting had been called and they all congregated in the boardroom at nine o’clock. ‘What’s the panic?’ Johnny managed to ask Jock Weldon in a discreet whisper.

‘Don’t know but it’s serious business.’

The chairman opened the meeting by thanking everyone for coming. He then went on to say, ‘Gentleman, I think that you are all aware that with the full mobilisation of Russia and America that the big push to liberate Europe will now be sooner rather than later. This means we will have to meet all of our obligations on time.

‘Since the war began it has been evident that every man, woman and apprentice in our organisation has worked hard to assist in the winning of the war. What I am asking here today is that we continue to work in harmony to do all that we can to repair the damaged ships brought in and build the new ones – these new ones that are required for the forthcoming invasion.’

Jock put up his hand to indicate he wished to speak. The chairman nodded consent. ‘Are we to be told the exact date that the invasion will take place?’

The chairman shook his head. ‘That is top-secret information of which only top brass would be apprised. But hazarding a guess I think perhaps late spring. But now there is a triple consensus to be reached on the most advantageous date … well, who knows.’

Before the chairman could continue his secretary then came in and laid a note in front of him. He read the note and just nodded. ‘Mr Anderson, Johnny,’ he then continued, ‘what I would like to say to you is …’ He hesitated before adding, ‘That just now I hope and trust that all industrial-relations matters that arise can be swiftly dealt with.’

Johnny just nodded. All the others around the table looked at each other in amazement. Why, they all wondered, was the verbose senior shop steward not replying verbally in the affirmative. They expected to hear him put an eloquent forceful argument for better conditions either by way of the pay packets or on the shop floor. After all, he had the ball at his foot, so why did he not kick it?

The chairman looked down at the note again and before he drew the meeting to a close he said, ‘Johnny, the needs of the country are exceptional today but there is no one in this company, from the boardroom down to the man who cleans the lavatories, who would think anything other than that your place today is at home with your family.’

As everyone, with the exception of Johnny and Jock, filed out of the room they either nodded to Johnny or patted him on the shoulder. When there was only Johnny and Jock left sitting, Jock placed a hand over Johnny’s. ‘One of your laddies, son?’

Johnny managed to mumble, ‘My boy Jack.’

‘But the laddie just went away a few weeks …’

‘Aye. This bloody war has shattered all my dreams. All I ever wanted was my bairns to thrive and have good lives. Live into their promised three score and ten. But Jack, my lad, who was one of the best young engineers to be trained here in Robb’s, has been cut down in his prime.’ He stopped to mop his tears. ‘And then there’s Bobby, who could have come ashore but decided to go back out on the Atlantic convoys to get the supplies in. And the Gerries, who know they are about to be paid back, will try even harder now to sink every ship that they can.’

‘Aye, and that Polish guy that your sister, Kate, married will be anticipating what the next few months will bring too.’

Johnny nodded. ‘The Poles, especially the ones that sought asylum here, have fought on. Most of them joined our forces and they are the bravest of the brave and the most reckless of any of the servicemen.’

Jock now wished to get Johnny either home or thinking about something else and he cautiously asked, ‘How did your wedding go on Saturday?’

‘Fine until Kitty threw the telegram about Jack in my face. Mind you, that was after I told them about … which ended up with neither Kitty nor my mother … how can I put it … well, Jock, they are certainly not looking forward to Connie becoming a mother in five months.’

Monday mornings usually meant women were up to their elbows in soap suds and they would be praying it would be a ‘good drying day’ so they could hang the washing out.

Connie knew that she should be trying to prove that she was as good a housewife as Kitty and hang the laundry out. The truth was that Connie had never wished to be known as housewife of the year. She really was more interested in people. This being the case she decided that as Jenny would be her mother-in-law for the rest of her life, she should go and try to broker a peace between them.

Not wishing to be left on the doorstep after the door was slammed in her face, Connie decided to take a peace offering in the form of Rosebud with her. She knew that Jenny would not pass up a chance to spend some time with the child.

When she arrived at Parkville Place Connie’s courage began to wane and she was ready to do an about-turn when Rosebud wriggled out of her grasp and began banging on the door.

‘Granny, Granny,’ she screamed as her small hands pummelled the door. ‘It’s me and we’ve brought some of Moffatt’s bran scones.’

Slowly the door opened and there was a dishevelled Jenny still attired in a long cotton nightdress. Astounded, Connie’s mouth gaped and she became anxious when Jenny leant forward and clung to the door for support.

‘Are you ill?’ Connie asked apprehensively.

‘No,’ Jenny gasped while attempting to straighten herself up. ‘It’s just …’ She said no more because like a confused butterfly she began to flutter and slip towards the floor.

Before Connie could get to Jenny’s aid a frightened Rosebud began to cry and reach out to Connie. ‘In a minute, dear,’ Connie replied. ‘We just have to get Granny inside. Now you go in front of me and open the doors. And if there is anything on the couch, pull it off.’

By half carrying and half dragging Jenny, an over-anxious Connie managed to get her back into the living room and safely settled onto the settee.

‘What’s wrong? What can I do?’ Connie implored as she stroked Jenny’s forehead.

Struggling to sit up, Jenny put out a shaking hand towards Rosebud. The startled child pushed herself into Connie’s side and she simpered, ‘I don’t like my granny like she is just now.’

Taking her hand off Jenny’s brow, Connie turned to pull Rosebud on to her lap. ‘There, there, precious,’ she crooned. ‘Granny is just a wee bit tired. Now you sit with her whilst I go and make us all a nice cup of tea.’

After a few sips of the warm beverage the colour began to rise in Jenny’s cheeks again. Connie did earnestly wish to engage the old lady in conversation but she was frightened of upsetting her again so she stayed mute.

Fortunately Jenny broke the uneasy silence by saying, ‘Connie, what I wish you to know is that I am not upset about you and Johnny’s baby any more. To be truthful I did suspect from the start that you and my Johnny were … but on Saturday when it all came out … well I was worried about what the neighbours would say … But after two nights of tossing and turning I now realise that a baby is a miracle and it brings its own love with it when it comes into the world.’ Jenny halted and Connie could see that her thoughts were far away and when she did continue she tearfully whispered, ‘It is just the loss of … knowing that … please try and understand’ – Jenny was now seeking for Connie’s hand – ‘that accepting that I will never see our boy Jack again in this life is so very hard to bear.’

Connie bent forward and covered Jenny’s outstretched hand with hers. ‘Jenny,’ she falteringly began, ‘we all feel like that. And for me thinking that if I had not got involved with your Johnny then Jack would not have run off to sea makes it worse. The thought that he just wouldn’t have sailed out into that danger if Johnny and I hadn’t …’

Scoffing, Jenny replied, ‘Nonsense. Ever since Bobby left, Jack had been looking for an excuse to go too. It’s only natural that the young wish to fly the nest and make lives for themselves. What kept Jack here was that he just felt that he could not leave Kitty with the whole burden of running the household and looking after …’ She did not say Rosebud’s name but she did smile towards the child.

Scalding tears that Connie had felt she had no right to shed for Jack were now cruising down her face. She was glad that she had come to visit Jenny this morning. Jenny, who had that invaluable insight that only comes with age, had managed to see the complete picture of what had happened in a different way. Saw it from the points of view of all the people involved.

Patting her stomach, Connie visibly relaxed. As the tension moved out of her she had the most wonderful feeling that she had ever felt in her life. The baby she was carrying, her very own child, started to kick within her. As the baby squirmed to let her know he was growing inside her she vowed there and then, to herself and to Jenny, that she would call him Jack when he made his debut.