Silver Dew (18 page)

“But did Caoilinn bury her secrets here?” I wondered aloud.

“I’ve searched here before, both after her death and several times in the hundreds of years since. If she hid something, it would have been in the tomb but I’ve never found anything, no matter how badly I wanted to. I wonder though, if perhaps she never meant for me to know all her secrets, perhaps, she only left clues for herself.” His eyes focused on the stones at the center of the ring as he spoke. There was a strange edge to his voice that I chose to ignore. Instead, I nodded my agreement.

“Let’s walk the perimeter while we wait for the locals to leave,” I suggested.

Sebastian took up my hand in answer and together we began walking around the top of the rolling bank. It was strangely peaceful walking there together. I gazed out over the nearby fields, looking as far as I could see and feeling as if I were walking backwards through time into the magical world of the past. I was awed by the massive sky above me and the sacred feel to the earth around me. I was spellbound by the powerful magic of this place and for a long time, I could do nothing but stare at it all in silent wonder as I watched the sun dip down, sinking lower in the sky.

“It feels like a dream, being here with you,” Sebastian commented softly. We paused on the path, turning together to look down into the now-empty ring. The setting sun was falling on the stones at the center at an odd angle that made them seem to glow beneath the surreal light.

“It does,” I agreed. “This place is so… intimidating but I feel so peaceful at the same time. It feels right to be here, especially with you by my side.”

Sebastian looked at me, his eyes alight with an emotion stronger and brighter than even the fiery, setting sun. For a second I felt certain he would pull me into his arms and kiss me. My whole body suddenly longed for his embrace, my breath swept away from me by the sudden intensity of my desire. Unexpectedly though, he closed his eyes and angled his body away from mine slightly.

“I want you by my side forever. But for that to be possible, we
must
stop the Others. We both need to really focus. You have to remember how to control your magic.”

“I know. No pressure but it’s all on me,” I muttered, feeling slightly annoyed at the way he had ruined the moment between us.

He turned back to me with an amused smile.

“My whole life, my whole existence – it has always been about you. Why should now be any different?”

“Right. No pressure at all.”

Sebastian laughed and grabbed my hand, tugging me towards the edge of the bank playfully as his mood instantly lightened.

“Come on, let’s see what’s waiting for us.”

We raced down the steep slope, our steps carried on the wind. It was a rush to charge down the bank and to jog together towards the ancient henge at the center of the ring. With each step, my heart beat a little faster and my legs moved a little slower until I took my last faltering step and came to a stop, standing in awe before the five thousand year-old tomb.

The henge consisted of five large boulders balanced together with a huge capstone on top. There was nothing blocking visitors from approaching the stones or even from climbing on top or underneath them. There was a small, pebbled path worn into the grass around the rocks from the many visitors’ circling feet and there were obvious marks both from graffiti and hands and feet from those who had more thoroughly “explored” the site.

The boulders themselves were actually quite smooth in appearance and looked to have an almost unnatural texture. Before I knew what I was doing, I was walking right up and placing my hand on the cool rock, gently stroking the smooth sides and marveling over the energy that seemed to radiate outward from it.

“It’s like it’s alive,” I muttered, mostly to myself as I began to slowly circle the tomb, my hand sliding along feeling each curve and crevice in the stones.

Sebastian didn’t comment. He stood back slightly, silently watching me with an ancient and indistinguishable emotion in his eyes.

The sun sank low on the horizon, tinting the sky with a pinkish-orange wash of color. A new magic settled into the air under the strange twilight. Its presence was obvious and undeniable though it was nothing I could harness or focus on specifically. The eastern horizon had faded into a dark, bluish-black, reminiscent of Sebastian’s eyes, the stars that began to dot the far sky like echoes of his mischievous sparkles. Night was rapidly approaching and I still had no idea what I was doing.

I crouched down and peered under the capstone and into the small space between the rocks. I shook my head in disappointment, both at the lack of revelations and the traces of graffiti I found on the ancient passage tomb’s entrance.

“I don’t know what I’m doing,” I admitted, suddenly feeling defeated. I blinked back my frustration. “There’s something here, I can feel it but I don’t know how that’s going to help us.”

Sebastian watched me with patient and sympathetic eyes.

“It’s alright, Gracelynn. I didn’t expect it to be easy. Like I said, I’ve been here many times and I’ve never found anything but frustration before either.”

“Then why are we here?”

Sebastian pressed his lips together, an unreadable expression crossing his face as he debated how to answer. For the first time since we’d arrived in Ireland, a shadow of nervous unease settled in and around my heart.

Just then, a shooting star burst up from the horizon, arcing across the darkening sky in a blaze of pure white light before abruptly blinking out and vanishing from existence. It had been some time since I’d seen such obvious evidence of Sebastian’s strange effect on the world and I found myself forgetting for a moment to breathe.

“We both want for you to be able to control your magic. We both want to escape the Others. We both want to be able to decipher the clues hidden within my tattoos and so we will. It’s all going to work out – that’s all I want and need to know.”

I slowly nodded, trying to feel reassured by Sebastian’s calm and confident words.

He slowly smiled at me, an idea occurring that sparkled within the depths of his eyes. He shrugged out of his backpack, then suddenly spun and leapt forward, bounding up on to the top capstone in three graceful steps. He crouched down and held out his hand to me.

“Will you join me, my beautiful Yankee girl?”

“Ha-ha,” I replied sarcastically. I smiled a little as I let my bag drop down beside his and took his hand, allowing him to help me up onto the rock where we both sat down facing one another cross-legged.

I was surprised by how comfortable a seat the smooth, hard rock made. It still felt as if it were vibrating with life, an energy radiating out from it that trembled throughout my bones and made my amber necklace feel almost as if it were throbbing with a similar energy. I could tell we were sitting at the focal point of the ring’s power and magic and I began to feel slightly doubtful and afraid. As always, Sebastian distracted me.

“What are you doing?” I asked as he began sliding his arms out of his thin, cotton shirt.

He pulled the shirt over his head and off before answering, his hair ruffled from the action.

“You’ll need to be able to see the designs of my tattoos if you’re going to attempt to decipher them,” he pointed out. He shivered slightly as he spoke, goose bumps already appearing on his lean, muscled arms as his skin was exposed to the cool evening air.

“You’re going to freeze.”

“I don’t want to freeze so I won’t. I don’t actually really want to be cold but I thought it might motivate you if I were a little uncomfortable,” he added with a cheeky grin. He leant forward and lightly kissed the tip of my nose. “Just try, Caoilinn. I want you to succeed.”

Sebastian shifted his body around so that his back was facing me. It was probably best that he missed seeing my expression after calling me by the wrong name. It concerned and scared me when he confused me with Caoilinn – I worried sometimes that he was losing his grip on reality, on the present. But even more than that, it hurt me when he called me by her name. It was a reminder that he still loved her, that he still saw us as one person when we were definitely not. I was not Caoilinn and I didn’t want to be her but I was afraid that was exactly what Sebastian might want.

I raked my fingers through my short, curly hair and squeezed my eyes tightly shut. How could I do this? How could I save us and keep Sebastian safe from the Others when I didn’t truly want to remember how to use my magic? I didn’t want to remember being Caoilinn. I was afraid to control my magic, afraid that I would become Caoilinn again and that I might lose what I thought to be my true self.

Sebastian sat up straighter and glanced over his shoulder at me.

“Gracelynn, are you alright?” he asked, his eyes softened with concern.

“I’m fine,” I quickly dismissed, brushing my hair back from my face with my fingers. “I just… I don’t know if I can do this. But I’ll try.”

Sebastian reached back to gently squeeze my hand, his touch warm and familiar, calming my soul.

“You can do it,” he quietly encouraged before slowly turning back around.

I wasn’t certain that I could but I knew I would have to try. There was no way I could disappoint Sebastian. And so I began studying the designs of the tattoo on his back, tracing the lines and curves with my fingers, committing each tiny and detailed part of the pattern to my memory until I felt like his tattoo had been burnt into the backs of my eyes. And still nothing happened.

“This isn’t working,” I announced after what felt like hours. The sky was black now, its emptiness filled with millions of pinpoints of flickering, bright white stars.

“Not entirely,” Sebastian agreed. He began tugging his shirt back over his head as he turned around. “I stayed reasonably warm the whole time.”

“Really?”

“Yes, but that might have been because I became numb after the first half hour or so.” He grinned cheekily at me. I tried to narrow my eyes into a glare but found myself smiling and entirely running the effect.

“You’re impossible,” I complained.

“I won’t deny it. Did you want to climb down?”

“We might as well.”

Sebastian helped me down from the capstone and then he retrieved our bags. I was surprised when he opened his and began pulling out our blankets and some of our sleeping things, as well as the sandwiches and snacks we’d forgotten to eat.

“What are you doing?”

“It’s late. I thought we should eat something and then get some rest. We’ll want to be up early if we’re going to take advantage of the last few hours of daylight before the Others arrive. And I think we’ll probably awake with the sun here,” he added, glancing around the large, open landscape, broken only by the gently, rolling hills and small pockets of trees.

“We’re going to sleep here?”

“Why not?”

“I don’t know.” I fumbled for words. “We only have a few hours before the Others catch up to us – shouldn’t we be doing something? Didn’t you say something about staying up all night?”

“What do you suggest we do?”

“Shouldn’t we be searching for more clues or running away or just doing… something?”

“We both want to be safe and we want to stop the Others, so we will. It’s all going to work out – it has to.”

“But‒”

“This is all we can do, Gracelynn.” Sebastian’s expression grew more serious. I was once again aware of the heavy weight in his eyes.

It felt like we were sitting around just waiting for our deaths but I knew he was right – what else could we do? I tried my best to have faith in his words but it was a lot more difficult to have faith in myself. I tried to calm the sense of panic creeping down upon me as I took a blanket and spread it out on the ground just a few feet away from the ancient henge.

I felt a bit calmer once I had eaten and was lying curled up against Sebastian’s side, a warm blanket tucked up under my chin and another blanket of stars spread out above me as far as I could see. I was tired but not sleepy. I tried to relax in Sebastian’s arms but my pulse began to slowly increase, my breath quickening as I became very aware of the sweet smell of his skin and the pounding of his own heart as my ear pressed against his chest. When he suddenly began to speak, it made me jump a little.

“Do you know why I love you?” He turned to look at me as he spoke, his face suddenly inches from mine. My breath caught in my chest, my heart pounding now as his handsome face filled my world and I felt myself becoming lost within his eyes. I found I couldn’t speak and when I didn’t answer, he slowly broke his eyes from mine, turning to gaze back at the never-ending sky stretched out above us.

“I love you for a million reasons – for every amazing and tiny part of you that makes you, you. I love your passion for life. I love how you’re unable to love with anything less than your whole heart. I love how complicated you are, how dependable and how unpredictable you are to me still. I love your quiet strength and your stubborn, strong-will. I love your good-nature. I love how sensitive you are and how good you think you are at hiding it. I love how pure your joy is over the smallest and simplest of things – a sunny day, a smile, a starry, moonlit night…”

I gasped in wonder as each and every one of the stars above us began to swell at his words. The stars glowed and sparkled even brighter as they bathed the night in a magical, silvery light.