Silver Dew (10 page)

We dodged a bus pulling out of the large parking lot as we walked towards the main building. There were several long Greyhound buses parked in front of the long, navy blue building, some unloading passengers and luggage, others looking like they were preparing to embark. Unfortunately, none of the displays on the front of the buses were lit up to announce where they were going or even where they’d come from. I could only hope that one would be heading to Toronto, and soon.

Inside the busy bus station we had to line up behind the other ten or so people already waiting in front of the Departures counter. As “luck” would have it, the line moved quickly and steadily; it was only a matter of minutes before we’d reached the front.

I let Sebastian do all the talking, letting out only the faintest sigh of relief when the woman behind the counter said that there was a bus leaving at 9:10 that night (in just a few short hours) that also just happened to have two seats still available on it. The cost of the last-minute tickets was nearly $300. I made the purchase on my credit card, not caring that my mother and the Others would be able to trace the transaction. Hopefully, by the time anyone realized we were in Toronto, we’d be long gone.

We waited inside the noisy, air-conditioned bus depot under glaring fluorescent lights. It was hard to get comfortable on the hard, plastic chairs. Sebastian was fidgety and unexpectedly anxious the whole while, glancing nervously at the door every time it swung open or closed. I could see the effort he put forth to appear calm and relaxed, joking casually about the different characters we saw and speculating on who they were and where they might be going. It was all an act, the unease and tension clear in Sebastian’s troubled eyes.

It was quieter once we boarded the bus, almost two hours later. Most of the passengers immediately settled down, tilting their seats as far back as they could and pulling out books, headphones and even blankets. Some spoke quietly, their voices murmuring back and forth in a low buzz, the details of their words indistinguishable above the bus’s idling engine.

We sat together in two empty seats near the front of the bus, Sebastian insisting I take the window seat so I wasn’t jostled by people coming down the aisle.

“What’s going on?” I asked him in a low voice once we were settled into our seats, our backpacks stuffed under our chairs.

He turned to me with an all-too-innocent expression on his face, denials ready on his lips. Something about my expression made him hesitate. I could almost see the words changing upon his tongue.

“Something’s… not quite right,” he finally admitted. He frowned as he spoke, the words obviously not accurately expressing whatever it was that he was feeling. He closed his eyes tightly, tipping his head back with a weary sigh. “The fifth is getting closer – and fast. The Others appear to be increasing their pace too. I can sense them all so clearly now, it’s almost like they want me to know that they’re closing in on us.”

I couldn’t prevent the soft gasp from escaping my lips as he spoke. An ice cold chill ran down my spine and gripped my heart with sudden fear. Sebastian’s eyes flew open, his hands instantly reaching for me.

“It’s alright, please don’t be afraid,” he urged, one warm hand tightly holding mine, the other gently cupping my face. “We’re still ahead of them. We’ll be in Toronto by six o’clock tomorrow evening and then we’ll find your father. It’ll all be alright from there.” His steady confidence and soothing voice slowly settled over me like a wave of calm. I squeezed his hand back, resting my head against his shoulder as I forced myself to relax.

“I hope you’re right.”

I wasn’t certain if the calmness that had chased away my fears was a result of my own emotions, Sebastian’s magic or just exhaustion. Either way, my current lack of fear felt false, like I was somehow lying to myself. I certainly wasn’t relaxed enough to fall asleep anytime soon even though my muscles ached wearily from the weeks of travel. Luckily, Sebastian seemed to sense my need for a distraction.

I reopened my eyes as he slowly turned my hand over in his. The bus had just finished boarding and the driver was pulling the doors closed. I took no interest in looking out the window. I didn’t care to see the navy blue bus depot disappear or the new sights that Thunder Bay might have to offer. My attention was solely focused on Sebastian and the slow, deliberate shapes he was tracing into the palm of my hand, right over top of the beginning of the black marks from the Binding.

I wasn’t certain what he was doing at first. I glanced up at him to see a small but tender smile on his face and a bright sparkle in his eyes that seemed to make the faint tint of blue glow brighter in their gray depths. My heart beat faster with each twisting, tickling stroke of his finger in my hand. I smiled as I realized what he was doing.

“What are you spelling?”

His smile deepened to a playful grin. I turned my body towards him even more, full of curiosity. The rest of the bus and the world seemed to disappear far beyond us as I was completely entranced by the natural magic of Sebastian.

“You should be paying more attention, Gracelynn,” he teased.

I snorted softly and indignantly, smiling all the while.

“Do it again?” I asked sweetly, glancing up through my eyelashes at him.

He laughed quietly, shaking his head. “You don’t need magic to get what you want.”

I smiled back. “Funny. I was just thinking the same thing.”

We stared into each other’s eyes for a moment, the playful mood between us slipping slightly as we each read the intensity in one another. Sebastian was the first to look away as he slowly began spelling out more letters into the palm of my hand.

I-L-O-V-E-Y-O-U

“I love you too,” I whispered.

He smiled and lifted my hand, gently and tenderly kissing the center of my palm before he laid it back on my lap and began writing out more letters.

W-I-L-L-Y-O-U-M-A-R-R-Y-M-E-?

My heart skipped a beat even though I knew he was just teasing me.

“Is that really how you’re going to propose?”

He grinned. “Is that really how you’re going to answer?”

I paused, briefly contemplating, then picked up his hand and began slowly writing my answer into the palm of his.

N-O.

He laughed out loud, seemingly delighted by my response.

“Are you saying ‘no’ to the first question or the second?”

“The second,” I answered without hesitation.

He slowly linked his fingers through mine. My heart began beating strangely, my breathing became uneven. His eyes darkened and softened, his expression growing more serious and unexpectedly nervous as he watched me. His lips parted slightly, the words hanging on his lips before he finally spoke.

“And your answer to the first question?”

“Are you really asking?” I whispered breathlessly. He had definitely caught me off-guard but in an unexpectedly, wonderful way.

“I shouldn’t have to ask,” he agreed with a smile. “We’ve actually been married for over two thousand years but I understand the contract is somewhat void since you don’t currently remember it.”

“What?” I demanded.

Sebastian looked at me in surprise, obviously not understanding the sudden change in my mood and tone. I sat up a little bit straighter.

“You married Caoilinn?” I tried to keep my voice even. The faint edge of jealousy was nearly undetectable; it made so little sense that I didn’t expect Sebastian to notice anyway.

“Yes, of course I did,” he admitted, looking confused.

“But that means you’re still married to her,” I pointed out, a sick feeling growing in my gut. It didn’t help at all when Sebastian laughed.

“Gracelynn – she… she died nearly two thousand years ago.” The pain that flickered in his eyes disappeared so quickly, I nearly missed it. “And besides, you are Caoilinn,” he argued calmly in a carefully hushed voice. My feelings were hurt and my typically mild temper suddenly flared.

“I am
not
her,” I snapped. I pulled my hand from his and sharply looked away from him. I knew I was behaving childishly but I couldn’t seem to help myself. Of course I knew that he and Caoilinn had a close and intimate relationship but naively, I’d never considered that he might have married her and it bothered me for some reason… but why?

“Why is this upsetting you so much?” He spoke the very same question aloud, his voice patient and concerned. I glared angrily out the window, watching the dull grey buildings and city lights blur by, frustrated and angry because I wasn’t certain of the answer myself.

“Because,” I paused, searching for the correct words. “Because you committed yourself to her for life – for your life. That means you’re still committed to her… so how can you really be committed to me? How can you marry me when you’re married to her still? When you still love her?” I finished sadly. My anger was quickly fading and hurt tears quivered in my eyes as I pinpointed the source of my pain.

“But you are her in the same way that she was always you,” Sebastian quietly replied. I stubbornly shook my head, still refusing to look his way. “The way I feel about you… This isn’t a Caoilinn-thing or a Gracelynn-thing – it’s you. The soul of who you are, the core of your being is the same and that’s what I love, that’s who I can’t resist no matter what your name or appearance or age or anything! And that’s who I committed myself to.”

I blinked away the hurt tears that had begun gathering. I only felt slightly better. My pride was still injured but I could see the silliness of my reaction now.

“Caoilinn and I were not married in the modern sense, anyway. She performed a private ceremony that no one else witnessed but ourselves and the full moon. It was the first step in Binding our souls together, the night when she shared her magic with me and when we committed ourselves – our souls - to one another,” he explained. I still didn’t really understand. “I wish you could remember. It’s hard to believe that I once forgot.”

I didn’t answer. I knew I’d over-reacted and I felt a torrent of shame as I realized how I’d ruined his proposal. No matter how jokingly he had done it, he had still just asked me to marry him.

“I’m sorry, Sebastian. I… I’m sorry,” I repeated lamely. I met his gaze now and his eyes were large and wise, boring down into the depths of mine.

“Don’t apologize. I do forget sometimes that you’re not her and that you don’t remember or know everything that happened between us. I shouldn’t have brought it up.”

“Let’s just forget about it,” I suggested, knowing that it would never be so easily done.

“That would have been easy once,” he joked. Neither of us laughed. “You should get some rest.”

I shook my head, looking out to the bright sky and the world that we were speeding by. “It’s early still. I’ll sleep when you do.”

“I’m not going to sleep tonight,” Sebastian unexpectedly announced.

“What? Why not?”

“I don’t want to,” he answered simply. “The way my nightmares have been lately… I don’t think it would be a good idea to sleep on a crowded bus.”

“Oh, I see.” He was probably right but I didn’t like the idea of him staying up all night alone. “I’ll stay up with you then,” I decided. His response was immediate.

“No, you need to get some sleep.”

“And you don’t?”

“I don’t want it to affect me so it won’t for now,” Sebastian dismissed. “Stay up with me for now, if you’re really not tired, but I want you to eventually get some sleep too – so you know you will,” he pointed out.

My eyes narrowed at him and my fingers crept up to my chest to clench the warm amber of my necklace. “You can only make me sleep if I want to – and I don’t. I want to stay awake with you and I don’t want it to affect me either,” I challenged.

He smiled. “It’ll be a good test of your control then. Let’s see how you do.”

His confidence was extremely aggravating and only served to make me more determined – perhaps that was his intention though.

Sebastian and I stayed awake and talked for hours. I watched as the sun slowly moved lower across the sky, eventually sinking out of sight and leaving its heat smoldering on the horizon in a flare of color. We quietly talked and joked throughout the night, the guilt and tension that had arisen between us disappearing as quickly as it came. I felt surprisingly happy and victorious as I leant against his shoulder and watched the sun rise the following morning. I was exhausted and stiff from sitting in the bus seat all night but I had done it. I was awake and definitely not as tired as I should have been.

“Was it your magic that overpowered mine or your stubbornness?” Sebastian asked me teasingly as we watched the golden rays spread out from the eastern horizon. We were traveling along Highway 17/18 and had just passed through Sault Ste. Marie. We should be in Toronto that evening, in about twelve more hours.

I smiled and kept my voice deliberately light. “I’m not stubborn.”

“Of course not,” Sebastian agreed grinning. “How about we hop off at the next gas station and buy some breakfast?”

“That sounds like a great plan!” My stomach grumbled delicately in agreement. A gas station breakfast of coffee, doughnuts and cold sandwiches sounded delicious to me.

It was a few more hours before the bus stopped to refuel, giving all the passengers a chance to get off and stretch our legs. Sebastian and I bought a huge bag full of gas station foods – enough so that we would have three full and junk-laden meals that day. Once we were back on the bus, our stomachs full and our coffee cups empty, I did start to feel a little more tired. I reclined my chair slightly and was surprised when Sebastian did the same, pulling one of our dirty and worn blankets from his bag to drape over us (the air-conditioning had started to raise goose bumps on my arms).