Silver (25 page)

FOR
T
Y
-
t
h
r
e
e

The first thing I'm aware of is the cold. I float in the fog and mists, embracing the stark chill as it eases the raging fire inside, vanquishing the killer. A shadow drifts toward me in the clouds. And then I fall to the muddy, wet ground. A man stands over me. Not a man. A god. His blond hair is almost white, a glowing mane that frames his perfectly chiseled face. His green eyes are infused with starlight.

“Am I dead?” I ask.

I've been here before, in the field with the rocks that appear to grow up out of the earth. It seems unlikely that I survived the last few minutes. If the fire didn't kill me, the Sons surely did.

His smile is wicked, in a totally good way. “Not yet.” His lilting accent is smoky, curling around me like a soft blanket. “So you're the lass that everyone speaks of, the last of the Seventh Daughters.”

“There are others.”

He shakes his head. “Ahh, but their destiny is not yours, is it? You are the last, the one who will end the war.”

“Things aren't going too well at the moment.”

“No one said it would be easy. Nothing worthwhile ever is.”

“You think any of this is worthwhile? Fighting over something that happened a thousand years ago?”

He shrugs. “It is already done.”

“What is it, exactly, that I'm supposed to do?” It might help if I had a game plan. Or if I knew what the end was supposed to be.

“Killian!” Danu appears behind me. “Leave her be.”

He backs up a step. “I just wanted to meet the girl that everyone speaks of. She is more powerful than you let on, if she can travel here.”

Danu's face is white. “We are not to interfere.”

Killian laughs. “It hardly matters. The curse was made a thousand years ago. The end is already written.”

“What curse?”

They look at each other, silently debating whether to tell me. Finally Danu shakes her head. “Go ahead.”

Killian's lips curve into a self-satisfied smile. “I lived above, once. My life was dedicated to ridding the world of dark magic and vanquishing the demigods who lived among the mortals. The Milesians had already banished the Tuatha De Danaan to the underworld centuries before, but the gods were rumored to have left their half mortal spawn behind. I barely believed it until I met one for myself, a gorgeous creature with beauty and power beyond my comprehension.”

He glances at Danu. She raises her eyebrows.

“She was everything I was sworn to conquer, and I could not allow myself to fall under her spell. I fought against it, but I was only a mortal man, and no match for her wicked ways.”

“Please.” Danu shakes her head.

“Her powers were far stronger than I imagined. She could travel between the earth and the underworld. She brought me here, where the very air is magic. It is here that she bonded my soul to her own, binding me and cursing my ancestors to covet the very dark magic I fought against.”

Danu laughs. “Such a hardship you've all endured. Blessed with the power of the gods. Using it to destroy my family, one generation at time. It is my family that has suffered, cursed to fall in love with men who will only destroy them. Forced to kill to stay alive.”

They glare at each other.

For a second I wonder if they've forgotten I'm here. “So how do I fit into all this?”

They finally look back at me.

“It ends with you,” Killian says.

“How?”

Danu steps forward. “That,” she says, “is what we'd all like to know.”

“I don't want to die,” I say. “I don't want to kill anyone either.”

Danu's eyes get misty. “There is little choice.”

“You'll do what you must.” Killian takes Danu's hand, and for a second I see the heartbreak in her eyes.

She blinks, recovering quickly, then pulls her hand away from Killian and runs. As she runs down the hill, the purple flowers that crowned her head blow in the wind, leaving a trail of petals scattered across the grass.

Killian watches her, doing nothing to mask his desire. He still wants her, after all.

And all at once I know the truth. “You didn't kill her.” My voice is a whisper.

Killian sighs. “Some warrior against magic I turned out to be.”

The entire war with the Sons has been based on a lie. Killian didn't kill Danu. Someone else did. Someone else with an interest in spurring a war against the Sons, someone who was not supposed to interfere.

Austin
.

FOR
T
Y
-
f
o
ur

The carpet of the den is soft and plush. I open my eyes, but everyone's attention is on Rush as he paces near the cracked window.

“You're sure? She thinks she loves you enough to offer her protection to the Circle?”

“Yes, and she can help us find the others.” Blake's words are a wine opener to the gut, the corkscrew turning tighter and tighter.

“And she won't turn against us?” Dr. McKay asks.

“She won't,” Blake says.

“He's kept her a secret from us all,” Jonah whines. “We can't trust him.”

Blake moves across the room, grabbing Jonah by the throat. “This from the traitor who would have killed me if the witch hadn't intervened.”

The
witch
. The poisonous word seeps into my bloodstream, traveling with quiet speed to my heart.

Rush steps between them, pulling them apart. “She must not be allowed to come between us.”

Jonah and Blake glare at each other. Rush narrows his eyes, and they both bow their heads in submission. A tacit truce.

“She's awake,” Micah says from behind me.

I push up on my elbows. Dr. McKay extends a hand and pulls me to my feet. “Welcome to the Circle,
bandia
.
”

Rush moves in front of me. “We have accepted your offer of a truce.”

I smile like this is the best news I've heard in months. But everything feels wrong.

“Killian didn't kill Danu,” I blurt. Everyone stares at me. It's not the obsequious answer they were expecting, I guess. “The entire war between us has been based on a lie.”

Rush laughs. “We are the Sons of Killian,
bandia
. You think we don't know that Killian is not responsible for Danu's death? We didn't start this war.” He steps toward me and grabs a curl of my hair. “But make no mistake about it. We will finish it.”

I'm shaking. I can't stop it.

Blake stands beside me. “Back off.” He puts his arm around my shoulder. My body warms to his touch, but the rest of me is torn. I can't feel his emotions anymore. I might have trusted him before he told the rest of the Sons that I would lead them to the others.

Before everything.

“Hang on,” Blake whispers. “I'll get you out of here soon.”

I lean into him. I can't help it. I want to believe him. More than anything.

Micah comes to my other side. “Blake won't let them hurt you.”

But who's going to stop Blake?

Rush narrows his eyes at Micah before looking back at me. “You have our word that we will protect you as long as you are loyal to our Circle. You will do what is required of you. Your betrayal will be your death.”

I swear the guy speaks only in platitudes. I gather my strength. “Great to know I'm completely expendable.”

Rush's smile is more chilling than his usual glower. “Not completely.” He walks to the door and opens it. “Let's go eat, shall we?”

The Sons file out in silence. God forbid those cucumber sandwiches go to waste. Jonah winks at me as he walks by. Micah squeezes my shoulder before he turns and follows.

Blake and I are the only ones left in the room.

I'm afraid to look at him now that we're alone. Afraid of what I'll see in his eyes. Of what I won't see.

“Why didn't you do it?” Blake's question is not one I'm expecting. “You had us all in one room. You had the advantage. You could have ended it, Brianna.”

“I'm not a killer.” It's not true. Still, it's easier than admitting how I feel about him.

“I thought we were past that.” He turns to face me. Forces me to look at him. His green eyes are watching me, searching for some truth behind my lie. “Why can't you just say it?”

Like I need that humiliation. I can't admit my feelings for him now. It's too late. “I should go meet the rest of the breeders.”

“Brianna … ” His voice trails off.

But I'm already halfway to the door before he can finish his sentence.

His voice is almost a whisper, but I hear him. “I love you too.”

FOR
T
Y
-
f
ive

I spend an hour mingling with people I don't know, and avoiding those that I do. Sierra and Portia spend most of the afternoon finding ways to openly shun me. Bring it on. I've had years of training when it comes to being invisible. I'm far more comfortable being ignored. I could almost hug them.

Blake doesn't try to approach me again. It's almost like old times, except I don't look for an opportunity to put myself in his path. And I don't harbor some secret hope that today will be the day Blake sees me.

There's no physical ache when he talks to Portia by the wine bar. There's no hum of pleasure when he walks by on his way to the buffet. I don't feel the anger that I see in his eyes when I catch him looking in my direction. There's nothing left between us but my broken heart.

She'll lead us to the others.

The witch.

I love you too.

I leave as soon as I can get away. When I get home, Christy and Haley are waiting to take me to a belated birthday lunch at Olive Garden. We OD on breadsticks, laughing and talking about nothing more important than whether Jennifer Aniston will ever find the right guy. It's exactly what I need.

Christy entertains us with a poem Matt wrote for her, a bizarre combination of iambic pentameter and Suess­ian rhyme that manages to walk the line between light romance and serial murder. Say what you will about Matt, the guy knows how to take direction.

Haley hasn't mentioned last night, but I'm still planning to tell her the truth. About everything.

Haley twists her hair around her finger as she looks out the window. “So, did you hear about Sherri Milliken?”

Christy nods. “I heard she transferred to McHenry High because they have a better math team.”

Haley shakes her head. “I heard she ran away with the father of the kid she babysits for. He's, like, thirty.”

I haven't heard a word from Sherri. “The second one sounds more likely.”

“Really? That's so gross.” Christy grabs the last breadstick. “So Matt and I are going mini-golfing tonight. You guys want to come? Maybe bring Austin and Blake?”

“No,” Haley and I both say in unison. We look at each other and laugh.

“What?”

“Austin and I kind of broke up.” Haley bites into a breadstick. “He turned out to be kind of a jerk.”

Christy shrugs. “Cute, though.” She turns to me.

“I've got dinner with my parents.” Thankfully, Christy doesn't press further.

A waiter comes by with another basket of breadsticks. He's not much older than us, and he makes a point of smiling at Haley. Haley smiles back, one of her trademark “I know you want me but you'll have to wait” grins.

The waiter blushes and walks away. Christy elbows Haley. “Total hottie! You should invite him to come golfing with us.”

Haley shakes her head. “I don't think I'm going to go out with anyone for a while.”

“What?” Christy's mouth falls open.

“I think I need to figure some stuff out.” Haley's eyes find mine, and I know she's talking about more than just some internal soul-searching.

I nod. “Be careful what you wish for.”

“I can handle it.” Haley pops the last bit of bread into her mouth. “I'm tougher than I look.”

She doesn't have to convince me. “So,” I say, “it's like this … ” I start with Austin's party, and keep going right through to the initiation into the Circle of Sons.

When I'm done, Haley speaks first. “I tried to break up with Austin that day I saw you at McMillan. He convinced me to stay. It was almost like I couldn't say no. And then at the beach. It was crazy. Brianna saved my life.”

“And banished your boyfriend to the underworld.” Christy laughs. “I can't believe the spell actually worked! I can't wait to tell Delia.”

Oh no. I should've known Christy would think this was a good thing. “You can't tell Delia. Or anyone. Christy, trust me, you don't want to mess with magic. It's scary stuff.”

But Christy is already going through the possibilities in her head. “And the love spell! Omigod, Brie! It worked, didn't it? You and Blake, and me and Matt, and Haley and … ” She stops. Haley and Austin were not exactly a success.

I shake my head. “You and Jonah?”

Christy shakes her head. “False start. All our guys were there. I know it.”

Haley's cheeks redden. “You really think so?”

Christy and I both stare at her. I have a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. Haley's self-imposed celibacy is going to be short-lived.

“Who?” Christy looks thoughtful as she mentally goes through the list of potential candidates. Austin. Jonah. Matt. Blake. Please not Blake.

Haley's smile holds a secret that would make the Mona Lisa proud. She looks at me. “So, what can you tell me about Joe?”

FOR
T
Y
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s
i
x

Dinner with my parents is nice. We talk about schools I might apply for in the fall and whether I might be able to put some money toward another rescue horse now that Dart is sold. It feels so normal.

Back home, we sit on the couch watching a DVD of the
Lion King
. Dad orders a pizza even though we just ate. When the doorbell rings, he goes to the door, cash in hand. When he walks back into the family room, there's no pizza on him.

“Brie, it's for you.”

“Me?” I get up, wondering why Haley or Christy wouldn't just come in.

When I walk past my dad, he whispers, “It's a boy.”

My hands go to my hair, smoothing the curls with my fingers. My heart is already beating out the equivalent of a glam-rock drum solo.

Blake stands in the doorway, leaning against the frame. He's holding a small box in his hands, flipping it around and around and around. His smile when he sees me is tentative, unsure.

I can't resist smiling back. “Hey,” I say.

“Hey.” He stops flipping the box and stands perfectly still. We both just stand there. Waiting.

“Are you busy?” he asks.

I shake my head.

He looks back down. “I didn't expect this to be so hard.”

Uh-oh. Warning sirens blare in my head. I think he's given me this speech before.

“Okay, here goes.” He looks back up at me. “Do you want to go for a drive?”

Yes. No. Who am I kidding? “Yes,” I say. I run back into the house to tell my parents I'm going out for bit.

“Hot date?” Dad says.

“Maybe.” I grab a hoodie from the hall closet and practically run back to the front door. He's still there. I haven't hallucinated him.

I follow him out to his SUV. He stops by the passenger door. “I have something for you. I hope that's okay?” He still fingers the small box, turning it over.

I hold out my hand. “I'm not an expert or anything, but I think you're supposed to actually give me the gift.”

He laughs and hands me the small white box. There's a tiny shock of electricity when his fingers brush mine. “Happy birthday.”

My hand shakes as I untie the tiny green ribbon. I lift the lid and pull out a delicate silver necklace. At the end of the chain is a round pendant, not much larger than a quarter. The carving is crude, and gorgeous—a flower carved by hand. Wolfsbane.

“Where'd you get this?”

“Joe's been holding on to it for a while. It belonged to a
bandia
he knew a long time ago. I thought you should have it.”

“Thank you. And Joe, too. It's beautiful.”

I hold the necklace up, watching it sparkle under the streetlight. Blake takes it from my fingers and places it around my neck. The pendant sits at the base of my throat, the cold metal warming quickly against my skin.

“So beautiful,” Blake says, his hands dropping from my neck. He doesn't back away. He's so close, close enough to feel the warmth coming off his skin. Close enough to kiss. He raises his hand, and for a second I think he might touch me again, but he lowers it just as quickly, then turns and walks around to the other side of the car.

We drive to the vacant lot in the Heights, the barren site of his former home. I follow him to the wall at the back.

He sits down and motions for me to sit down next to him. My thigh touches his as I settle in. An ember ignites where our legs meet. I don't pull away, and neither does he.

“What now?” I finally ask.

He laughs. “I have no idea. I wasn't even sure you'd come out with me.”

His hand finds mine and our fingers lace together. We sit like this for a while, watching the world go by from our perch on the wall.

And then I have to spoil it. “Did you mean what you said to Rush today? Are you using me to find the others?”

“You heard that?”

Not a no. Why do I have to ask questions I don't want to know the answer to?

“They wanted to kill you,” Blake says into the silence. “I had to come up with a reason for them to keep you alive.”

It's what my heart wants to hear. And it's so easy to believe. I wish I could feel him now. To know.

“Do you miss it?” I ask. “The bond?”

“Sometimes.” His thumb runs across my palm. “Today, when I couldn't feel you. I kept reaching for you, and there was nothing.”

“I know what you mean. It's like a piece of myself is gone.”

“Not gone.” He holds my hand to his heart. “Right here.” My breath catches as he lifts my hand to his lips. “Brianna, you may not have a piece of my soul anymore, but make no mistake about it—you still carry around a part of me.” His lips brush my fingertips, feather-light.

His eyes find mine, asking.

I know the danger that lies in wanting. All I've ever wanted was for Blake to see me, as if his wanting me would be enough.

But it's not nearly enough. I can't simply accept the fact that he has chosen me. As much as I'm tempted to revel in being wanted, it will never be enough. I have to want him too, enough to take a risk with my own heart. Enough to trust him with my secrets.

When I don't say anything, he smiles, the arrogant smile that's meant to charm me and every other girl on the planet. “You're scared.”

I'm terrified. “I thought you couldn't feel me anymore.”

“I'm pretty good at reading body language.”

“You're not helping.”

“It's okay.” His eyes lose their signature sparkle, and I realize that he might give up on me, that he probably should have a long time ago.

“Can we start this conversation over?”

He looks confused. “What?”

“Not just the conversation. Everything. Can we start from the beginning?”

“You want a do-over?”

That's exactly what I want, but hearing it put that way makes me realize how foolish it is to think it can be that simple. It's not like we can go back to that first time Blake walked into Magic Beans and have him notice me. It's not like we can pretend he didn't claim the right to kill me. That I didn't kill him.

“Forget it,” I say. “It was stupid.”

“I doubt anyone has ever called you stupid. Brianna, I know what you are. Who you are. And you know me. More than anyone. I'm not saying it will be easy. I'm pretty sure it won't be. All I know is that now that you're here, I can't imagine my life without you in it.”

“Here's the thing.” I say it before I can stop myself. “I can.”

He doesn't hide the disappointment in his eyes. For a second, I think I even feel it, but then I realize it's my own disappointment.

“Brianna.”

“Let me finish.” I let go of his hand. “I
can
imagine a life without you. I've been there, Blake. I thought I'd lost you.”

His drops his chin and looks back out over the view, blinking.

I bring my hand up to his jaw, pulling him back toward me. “I don't want to go through that again.”

His eyes are wary.

I swallow, choking on my fear. I have to fight to push away every self-protective instinct. This must be what a sky diver feels just before making the jump. I close my eyes and let myself fall. “The thing is, I love you. I think I always have.”

His smile is back, dimples and all. “Always?”

“Don't let it go to your head. The last thing I need is you thinking you're some kind of god.” It feels good to admit how I feel, how I've always felt. I lean forward, stretching up until my lips meet his, our smiles converging.

There's a flash of silver light behind us.

I pull away with a start. “What was that?”

We scan the yard, seeing nothing. There's a clap of thunder off in the distance.

“Lightning,” Blake says. “The discharge of electricity during a thunderstorm.” There's laughter in his voice. “For someone who claims to know a lot about science, you don't know much about weather.”

“I'm a little superstitious these days.”

He leans in to kiss me again. When our lips meet there's no charge of electricity, no flash of light; just the warmth of two people finding each other on a hillside.

It's not a claiming kiss—it's a gift, a promise. I bring my hand to the back of his neck, pulling him closer. His lips travel along the line of my jaw to my throat.

There's another flash of light. This time when I open my eyes, I see it, the silver thread whipping around us.

“Blake.” I pull his head from my neck. “Look.”

The silver light is dancing, weaving around us in a perfect spiral.

“Is it happening again?” Blake asks.

“Maybe.”

His face turns serious. “We should stop.”

“We should stop,” I repeat, hoping that if I say it out loud I can find the strength to follow through. We both know what could happen if we don't.

Blake leans back, putting distance between us. He's still breathing hard. We watch as the thread of silver light fades into the darkness.

I turn to face him. “You know, it wasn't so bad.”

“What?”

“Carrying your soul around.”

“Better you than me.” He smiles at me and takes my hand.

“I might not mind … ” I let my voice trail off.

Blake pulls me into his lap in one smooth motion, laughing. “Yeah, well, you're not the one who has to take on the black soul of a killer, are you?” His smile is the only thing that keeps him from getting blown right off this wall. “I know, I know. I need to work on my moves.”

I laugh with him. I'm still laughing when his mouth covers mine; then I'm lost in the scent of vanilla mint and the feel of his tongue as it twists with mine. And for once, I'm okay with the fact that I don't know the answers, that my choices might all lead to the same inescapable place. I still have choices.

And I cho
ose Blake.