Silver (27 page)

             
A few weeks ago in London, after he had heard about Mary-Ann blackmailing Kate, Avery had found himself wandering aimlessly around the city. Unusually, he was not dressed in the disguise of his suit but instead a recent acquisition that Kate had convinced him to purchase to avoid the attention of Georgina Fearncott. It was a compromise of sorts, a dull and plain dress with a well-cut short jacket. A hat and veil enabled him to keep his face well hidden and his hair could be clipped up into a bun. Kate had been the first to point out that he needed to be careful when he was abroad in his dresses, in case he were to meet someone from is evenings. Though he had doubted his two worlds could collide in such a way, he had appreciated her concern and merely accepted her assistance into whatever clothes she saw fit.

       
That morning, Kate had proffered this outfit and he had obliged her. His father has been entertaining some clients at the house and Avery had taken to the streets to avoid the usual presentation at the close of business. ‘
Have you met my daughter, Alice?’
Toby Silver wasted no opportunities to fish for some matrimonial prospect on his daughter’s account. Usually, if he were taking a stroll, he meandered around the familiar streets of Kensington and Piccadilly but on that particular day, he had found himself thinking about Mary-Ann and how her obedience and silence could so easily be bought. The girl imagined Avery was entertaining a young man in the house like some bawdy tart; like Connie. The idea both amused and annoyed him. In truth, the lack of loyalty riled him when he compared the young girl to Kate. He could not help but wonder what Mary-Ann would have done had he confided in her that day instead of Kate. As he continued on his walk, he could not help but extend the comparisons and he tried to imagine Mary-Ann in Kate’s repose within his, by now familiar, dream but found he could not. The thought had caused him to shake his head to dispel the image and he had stopped in his tracks, looking around for a clue as to where he had found himself. He was in a park but it was not a familiar one.

             
“Excuse me? Where is this please?” he asked a woman wearing much the same garb as himself. The girl’s voice was thick with an accent and she rattled off at length, gesticulating up a main thoroughfare, and then smiling at Avery proudly. He only managed to catch Zoo and Regents Park but that was good enough for him. He returned the smile and walked up in the direction the girl had indicated. Plenty of other visitors were also heading in the direction of the tall brick walls that he could now see were indeed the buildings of the Zoological Society of London. He had heard that there were strange and wondrous creatures but had never wanted to visit. He stepped closer to crane his neck around the entrance booth and there came such a sound of merriment and excitement that he was not hesitant at all when the lad offering tickets simply held one outstretched to him and named a price. Once inside, he attached himself behind a large group of tourists; a group of out of town couples who were drably dressed and he was able to blend in without drawing any attention. In this mode, he was able to meander around the zoo, staring at each of the unusual creatures whilst receiving a running commentary from the group he was shadowing.

             
“It’s so ugly, Matthew! Why does it look so?” The young woman’s voice was shrill.

             
“It says here that they are a beast of burden much like our mules but in hotter climes, Diana. Far from being ugly, they are rather majestic. Why I have seen uglier women in Plymouth, eh John?”

             
“And this one. They’re like goats horns but the thing is more like a horse!”

             
“Well, God’s creatures are indeed unique,” came the reply from a solemn looking lady.

             
“You can’t tell me that is one of God’s creatures! Look at it for heaven’s sake.”

       
The woman shrieked and the room in which they all were now standing fell silent.

       
They had stopped beside a cage inside a vast house within which there was a creature three times larger than a dog but with the face of an oversized cat. It was slender and muscled and reminded him of carriage dogs. The coat was striped and matted and gave a look of both being in shadow yet at the same time in the full glare of sunlight. The woman had shrieked because the creature had roused itself from a sleeping position and had now begun to pace the front of its cage. In doing so, its eyes danced jealously over the growing crowd.

             
“It’s looking at me like I’m food,” whispered the woman, Diana.

       
As he watched the tiger’s beautiful face, Avery was inclined to disagree. Its glittering eyes were not focusing on the people but rather the spaces in between. The animal was surely hungry but not for meat, for freedom.

       
Over the course of the ensuing days at Juniper Hall, with bad weather keeping all its occupants within the confines of the house, Avery was reminded of that day and felt a sense of great empathy with the beautiful cat. After Elizabeth had left his room, Kate had returned to find him in a state of great frustration and, for once, he would not share with her any of his thoughts. Though she seemed to have guessed that Elizabeth and he had met before, she had not yet realised that Elizabeth knew his secret and the danger this placed him, and indeed herself in. After several attempts at rousing his spirit, he had snapped and bid her leave him alone for the rest of the day. Now she watched warily, and with growing suspicion, as he avoided Elizabeth’s gaze and Georgina’s hospitality. On the third day of their arrival, Kate had cornered him before breakfast. He was seated on the corner of the bed, his feet placed apart and one elbow resting on his knee, his look about as thunderous as the ever deteriorating summer sky.

“
I don’t pretend to know what’s going on between you and Miss Greenwood,” she stood before him “but if you ask me, which you won’t I’m sure,” she placed a cautionary hand on his shoulder as he raised his head to speak. “But if you did, I’m sure this situation won’t be improved by your being so sullen.” He scowled at her and turned his face away, shrugging her hand from his shoulder. The gesture was insolent and childish and she could have walked away. Instead, she grabbed his chin and turned his face to hers. As she did so, his scowl melted into surprise and he opened his mouth to say something.

             
“Last week, you spoke of release, of freedom and I have not seen you so trapped as you seem now. Whatever it is you need to do, do it or else I cannot stand by and watch you stifled this way.”

       
She kept her hand fixed around his face as his eyes searched hers. There seemed to be no words willing to come to his defence and her words suspended around him. Yes, trapped. That was how he had felt, even in his own body as he had always felt, he now felt surrounded by barriers. His father was to marry Georgina then he and Elizabeth would be bound together forever. Elizabeth would always know his secret and she would surely tell someone, if she had not already. How had he hoped to get away with this? Surely the taste of freedom he had already had would be his last? As he thought it, the idea sank in his heart like ice from a thawing roof. How could he live the rest of days trapped inside himself? He watched Kate’s concerned face opposite his own and felt the pulse from her heart race through her fingertips against his cheek. The words dissolved in the air around them and what was left was charged with expectation. After a few minutes, Kate withdrew her fingers, bringing them to her chest where she fiddled with the buttons of her uniform nervously. She seemed anxious. Her breath was tremulous and she looked emotional. She had just given him, what was tantamount to an ultimatum and now, in the absence of him accepting her help, the moment seemed a little foolish.

“
I can see I’ve spoken out of turn.” She stepped backwards away from the bed. The distance she created seemed to break him from his reverie and he closed and opened his mouth several times before finally breaking the silence.

“
I should get dressed,” he said simply.

       
Kate closed her eyes, her hands gripped in silent frustration and she wheeled around to the wardrobe in which hung the several similar drably coloured dresses she had grown accustomed to dressing Avery in. She reached inside and reluctantly withdrew a dark grey dress and hung it on the outer door whereupon she reached for the velvety clothes brush. It was a mechanical action and, as her fingers deftly swept the fabric, she felt she could be doing this with her eyes sewn as tightly shut as her own mouth now felt. She chewed on the insides of her cheeks pondering what else she could offer up instead of this mute assent.

“
Come now Kate. I think something a little less drab will be more suitable today.”

       
She turned on the spot, the proximity of his voice startling her. His eyes were sparkling again and he reached past her to the trunk within which they had so secretively stowed Avery’s few suits.

             
“Ah, yes. Here we go.”

       
She stepped aside and took receipt of his fine dark navy walking suit. As she gripped the cloth, her eyes twinkled. It was as if the material were imbued with an energy which swept both of them along on a breeze of danger. She shivered and smiled at him.

             
“What shall I tell them?”

             
“Tell them whatever you like, only make it quick before I lose my nerve.” He grinned at her, his face pale in the grey of the dreary morning light.

~o~

             
It had been curiously easy to leave the house. There were only two other maids within the staff who were attending their duties with their heads down; two scullery maids safely ensconced within the airy kitchen over which presided Mrs. Green the cook, and of the gardeners and stable hand there was no sign. Avery scuttled past the perimeter of the walled garden, beyond the view of the main house into open fields within ten minutes. Over to the south of the house when they had arrived a few days earlier, he had noticed the tall spire of a church, no doubt from the neighbouring larger town of Amersham and it was in that direction he headed, his heart hammering in his chest. Where in London, the number of people who might discover him afforded him the luxury of anonymity, here, the relative solitude was exactly what could reveal him. It was half an hour before he found the narrow lanes widening to a broader thoroughfare upon which a signpost indicated a further three miles to the town. He was not used to walking such distances over such uneven ground and, after another half an hour, his boots began to rub and he knelt by a fence to take one off and rub at his sore heels. As he lingered, welcoming the pleasant arrival of blue sky, he heard the approach of a trap from the direction he had just come. His heart leapt and he looked around for somewhere to hide. He glanced at the approaching dust before the horse and determined that he was already spotted, so his furtive hiding would be judged yet more conspicuous. He prayed it was not Georgina and, replacing his boot, began to walk in the same direction with the hope they would pass him by. As the trap drew nearer, Avery’s ears began to throb with the sound of rushing blood and he felt his face colour with tension. He was holding his breath. A few moments more and it would draw level with him, he felt sure he could sense the horses reigns being drawn in. He held his shoulder up to protect some of his profile and then the trap passed by. He kept his eyes fixed downwards until it was safely passed and he glanced up under his fringe to see the fast retreating form of Elizabeth peering round the side of the trap’s canopy. From the rear window he could see that she was not alone. Was that the back of Georgina’s head or her maid? Could it be Kate? Whoever it was, they were not looking in his direction but even at this distance, and with the receding dust from the road, he could tell that Elizabeth was smiling.

~o~

             
Kate was not surprised to see him return so early having failed to discourage Georgina and Elizabeth’s trip into town a few hours previously. Once she had safely smuggled him unseen back into his room, she rattled off an account of the morning.

             
“Oh! You won’t believe how hard I tried to stop them Avery. I told them you were feeling poorly and that you had kept to your bed with a stomach complaint. The old lady wasn’t in the least troubled by this but that Miss Greenwood, she kept on asking me questions. All the while insisting that she come and tend to you. Well Mrs. Fearncott was pleased by that I can tell you, she insisted Miss Greenwood be allowed to keep you company.” Kate’s fingers worked nimbly at Avery’s buttons as she spoke, she had dropped to her knees in front of him working on the buttons at the front of his trousers.

             
“I thought fast, mind. I pressed my own hand to my stomach, right here.”

       
She balled her fist and placed it on Avery’s waistline. It made him flinch. “And then I grumbled about feeling poorly myself and how it might be catching. You should have seen her recoil at that. I thought to myself, that’s done it. But she still looked at me strangely. I don’t know how you met her sir, but she’s a one to watch. Sorry.” She had pulled his trousers down and had caught her nail on the back of his leg. “So she skipped over to the old widow, keeping her eyes on me the whole time and begs for a trip to the town. I couldn’t help it but I jumped right in when she said that and then she knew she had caught us. She narrowed her eyes at me, like the cat that got the cream. She wouldn’t let up until the old woman lamented. Of course she dressed it up as an errand to buy barley water or some such tonic, all to help you of course. I saw through it as clear as I see you standing before me now. She’s up to not good.”