Mrs. Schmidt was willowy and lady-like woman. Her clothes were simple and chic. Her face was exquisitely proportioned and framed by honey blond hair. Her hands were graceful as she went about her chore and Mrs. Schmidt's voice was gentle. She didn't seem to notice that the man in the bed did not respond to her loving dialogue or eat the food she so carefully spooned into his barely moving mouth or look her in the eye.
Because she was in the presence of a truly charitable woman, Josie waited to knock until after Mrs. Schmidt wiped her husband's mouth when the food bubbled out.
''Mrs. Schmidt?''
''Yes.'' The bowl went into her lap. Her wide brown eyes looked straight at Josie. Her shoulders were back, her expression clear and without curiosity.
''My name is Josie Baylor- Bates and I. . .''
''And you're here to talk to me about Tim and Lexi,'' the woman finished for her, punctuating the sentence with a gentle laugh as she put the bowl aside and pushed the bed table away. ''Nate told me about you. He watches out for all of us. He knows how family members hate surprises.''
''I don't mean to intrude. I can wait until you're finished.'' Josie's looked at the man in the bed. Her gaze didn't linger because Nate had been right. There was no comfortable place here for those who didn't really belong.
''That's all right. I'm done, actually.''
She leaned over her husband and took the napkin from his chest. Working quickly but without a sense of urgency the napkin was folded, words were said and Mrs. Schmidt lay one hand atop his head just before she kissed him on the cheek.
''This is my husband, James. He's been this way since a car accident ten years ago. I come have dinner with him every night - just in case.''
''In case there's a change?'' Josie asked, trying desperately to make the right small talk.
Mrs. Schmidt's bovine eyes turned Josie's way. She smiled a Sophia Loren smile.
''No, there won't be any change,'' she said frankly as she joined Josie. ''I come everyday to get my spiritual brownie points. James always said you needed to put something away for a rainy day. He meant money, but I think it was wise advice for a lot of things in life, don't you? I mean, who is to say I won't be in a bed like that someday. If I am, and if I have enough brownie points, maybe God will send someone to take care of me. So, I come just in case.''
''That's good advice. I wish I followed it.''
They ambled down the hall, Mrs. Schmidt leading Josie with no more than a slight list, an almost imperceptible motion of her hand. She and her husband must have been fine on the dance floor.
''I wish I had before this happened, then I would have had something to draw down on. Maybe James would have just been hurt instead of ending up like that.'' They stopped at a glass door. Mrs. Schmidt put one hand on it and inclined her head. ''Do you mind sitting on the patio? I like a cigarette after dinner.''
A second later Josie was standing on a square of concrete where the patients were taken to 'get air'. There were white wrought iron tables and chairs with sun-bleached cushions scattered around. The umbrellas were collapsed and fastened, the summer flowers had faded and not been replaced in the three small planters. The patio was illuminated by light that filtered from the surrounding hallways.
Mrs. Schmidt took a chair at the table in the far corner, pulled another one up and put her feet on it. Josie sat opposite her and knew that she was privy to a ritual: a cigarette, a look up, a few thoughts about life and love and fate then home alone.
''I miss, Lexi.'' Mrs. Schmidt's voice was almost dreamy. There had been no prompt. She didn't look at Josie. The tip of her cigarette moved like a dawdling fire-fly settling near her lips before flying into the air again. Back and forth. Lazy. Thoughtless. Unenjoyable. Comforting. Then she held the cigarette away and said: ''It all seems so long ago. Almost as if they were never here.''
She tapped the ash off her cigarette with a deft flick. Through the darkness Josie saw her turn her head, she saw the glint of her teeth as she smiled ruefully.
''I'm sorry. I guess I miss Lexi more than I knew. I'm already getting personal and I don't even know what you really want. Maybe just having you sit in that chair the way she did makes me miss her.'' She took another drag then said, ''My name is, Carol, by the way.''
''I'm Josie,'' she reiterated. ''Archer's lawyer. I am sorry to intrude, but I need all the information I can get, and I need it fast.''
''I can only tell you things that I observed and it was all a very long time ago,'' Mrs. Schmidt raised her shoulders slightly, honest and apologetic.
''But you knew Lexi well,'' Josie prodded.
''I did.'' Carol Schmidt held her cigarette out and looked at the glowing tip as if she was trying to decide whether to give the habit up. She took another hit. ''Lexi and I were sisters under the skin. Raw deals all around. Only someone who has been beaten up like we have been could be the kind of friends we were. She called me the married widow. I liked that.''
''Why did she call you that?'' Josie asked.
''Because I wouldn't fool around, I wouldn't acknowledge that James would never be well and that I was healthy and young. She didn't want me to give up on James, she just wanted me to have a life, too. You know, the way she did after she met Archer. I told Lexi I was too much in love with the man James had been.'' Carol took another drag then tossed the butt into the flowerless bed. ''I didn't want to sleep with anyone else. I didn't want to be close to another man.''
''Did Lexi understand that?'' Josie asked.
''Of course she did. Just look at what she was doing for Tim. Every waking hour was spent thinking about that boy, ever spare cent was spent on him.''
''But she remarried. She had a life outside of this place,'' Josie reminded her.
''And she had a son in here, not a husband. That was the difference,'' Carol answered.
''So are you saying that Archer was second fiddle to her relationship with her son?'' Josie asked.
''No, of course not. Lexi loved Archer fiercely the way she loved everyone important in her life. She couldn't believe her luck, finding a good man who was willing to let her do what she had to do for Tim. No,'' Carol shook her head, ''Lexi was happy and that surprised me to no end.''
''Why would her happiness surprise you?'' Josie asked, honestly surprised.
''Because she was so bitter about her first husband. She hated Colin for running out on Tim,'' Carol Schmidt said. ''That's why I was amazed at how pure her happiness was when she married Archer.''
''What about what Colin did to her? Didn't that make Lexi bitter, too?''
''Obviously you didn't know her.'' Carol laughed, unaware that her comment had made Josie feel somehow small, insignificant in the face of the drama that had been Lexi's life. ''Lexi always said Colin abandoned Tim, she never said Colin abandoned her. If Lexi truly loved you, you knew it. Then again, if she really didn't like you, you knew that, too.'' Carol dropped her feet. She put her arms on the table and fiddled with the pack of cigarettes. ''I'm sorry. I suppose I should let you ask some questions instead of me just rambling on.''
''No,'' Josie assured her, ''this is fine. Everything helps. Was Lexi's relationship with her ex really that bad?''
''Who can say? I'm sure Colin had a problem relating to his son, but I don't know if Lexi gave him enough time to adjust to the disappointment of having a child like Tim. For Lexi, love had to be unconditional. When they divorced Lexi didn't want a settlement. She said it would be like a payoff; like Colin wiping his conscience clear of the way he felt about their son. Lexi was so proud and so angry at Colin.''
''But she did get a settlement and a good one at that,'' Josie reminded Carol.
''Oh, she finally came to her senses. She took what Colin offered. I thought it was very generous. I thought she should live in the apartment building but she didn't. She said it would be like forgiving Colin but I think that was a little grandstanding. Basically, she did the math and realized that the income from that building would pay for Tim to stay at Greenwood. The actual cash Colin gave her in the settlement didn't last long, though. She just threw it at people who might be able to help Tim. She really wasn't thinking straight. Some of her decisions after the divorce were good and some were just plain destructive.''
Carol Schmidt sighed and flicked at the cigarette pack.
''I stopped throwing money at doctors eight years ago. Figured my brownie points with God might bring a miracle but there wasn't enough money in the world to cure James. Lexi never did get to that point. I told her she should invest the money so there would be enough for Tim to live on if something happened to her. But she didn't listen. Lexi never really listened. She was like a little steamroller when she got an idea into her head whether it was right or not.''
''And Archer?'' Josie asked.
''And Archer.'' Carol sighed. ''Well, I would have bet money that Lexi had sworn off men but Archer just caught her up. He didn't ask for anything. He was honest. That's why she loved him, and that's why I was happy for her.''
''So the love was good but how about the marriage?'' Josie asked, knowing her curiosity wasn't only a matter of business.
''He was a good man to go home to when Lexi was done here.''
Josie moved in her chair. It was cold and it was dark and it was hard to hear someone else assess Archer's worth.
''Was Archer good for Tim?''
''I'd say it was a wash. He did more than most; less than some. He married Lexi even though she came with baggage. I think that's a lot.'' Carol traced a circle on the wrought iron pattern of the table. ''He came with her to visit for awhile.''
''I thought he came all the time because Tim was so hard to handle.'' Josie stopped fidgeting.
''Oh, no, I'm sorry. He did if Lexi wanted to take Tim out Archer was always there to help her. It was the visits where they just stayed around Greenwood that he couldn't take.''
''Did he say so?'' Josie pressed.
''I just assumed that was the case,'' Carol answered. ''You get a sense about these things. Just because Lexi married Archer didn't mean everything changed. She could get pretty obnoxious if she thought Tim was getting the short end of things and that made Archer uncomfortable. Lexi would blow up and then be fine by the time she got home. She could change like that'' Carol gave her fingers a snap. ''It's an art when you live two lives like we do. One inside the walls and one out. You'd go crazy if you didn't adapt.''
''So Lexi took it out on you when she was angry or frustrated?'' Josie asked.
''Please don't put words into my mouth. She would vent, that's all. Believe it or not that helped me, too. It's like purging by proxy.'' Carol's brow furrowed as she remembered those times. ''When Lexi got sick, though, everything changed. She was obsessed about what was going to happen to Tim when she was gone. She dragged Archer here whenever she could, hoping he would start feeling something for that boy. It almost killed her she figured out it wasn't going to happen. Don't get me wrong, Archer tried hard from what I could see, but he didn't want anything to do with Tim.''
Carol Schmidt licked her lips, there had been a catch in her voice so she took a minute.
''There were times when she sat right here and ranted that Archer was a selfish SOB. Then she'd break down and admit she knew she was asking for an enormous commitment from him. It was very emotional. I think what was really going on was that Lexi was really angry that she was dying and that there was nothing she could do about it. Everything was out of control. I can only imagine what went on at home.''
''So, you're telling me that Archer refused to have anything to do with Tim?''
''I'm sure he didn't outright refuse,'' Carol said. ''I can't say positively. All I know is that it was like a soap opera. Up one day, down the next. Archer would stay away from home all night then he would come back and beg Lexi to take care of herself. You see, he was worried about her, she was worried about Tim and Tim was clueless. Lexi just couldn't see how she was more important than her son was. She was dying, Tim was just broken. Tim would need Archer long after Lexi was gone. In her mind the whole thing was simple.''
Carol got up and paced of the patio and Josie knew she was struggling. She stopped. She talked.
''I saw Archer in the hall one night. He looked terrible. I asked him if he was all right. He said he would never be all right. Then he said. . .'' she started to move toward Josie but stopped. Her face was in the shadows, she held onto a chair. ''He told me Tim should be the one who was dying, not Lexi. He said that would make sense. I had never spoken more than a handful of words to him before and he tells me that. It broke my heart.''
Josie's gut lurched. She had known those sentiments were incriminating when Archer shared them with her. It never occurred to her that he might be publicly vocal about his feelings here of all places.
''Did you think he meant that?'' Josie asked.
''Yes,'' Carol answered. ''But I'm equally sure he didn't mean to threaten Tim if that's what you're thinking. It was such an honest statement. Archer believed that would be the best thing.''
Carol sat down again, warming to her subject. Seeming to find some relief in sharing her thoughts. Archer wasn't the only one who lost something when Lexi died. Carol Schmidt lost a confidant, a lifeline, a friend.
''Look, Lexi wouldn't have married Archer if he wasn't a good man. Maybe Archer would have eventually stepped up to the plate if Lexi hadn't been so sick or if she hadn't pushed him so hard and asked for so much. I just felt sorry for all three of them. You can't make anyone love a damaged person. And most of us accept that. . .''
''But?'' Josie urged.
''But, I suppose I wouldn't put anything past anybody. That's just the way of the world.''
Carol shook out a cigarette, held it in one hand and her lighter in the other. She was a practical, honest and a suddenly, frighteningly dispassionate woman.
''I thought about killing James. I could even have done it once. It would have been easy. The problem was, I thought about it. I had to ask if I was going to do it to end his suffering or mine. That's not something you discuss with people; it's not something you do to a helpless person. The point is, I honestly believed it was a solution. Maybe Archer thought the same thing. Maybe he wasn't chicken the way I was and he did help Tim die. It could have been his way of showing compassion.''