Silent Scream (58 page)

‘Also, implying that one of the reasons you walked out of the psychological assessment was that you had a personal relationship with a member of the board was very childish. I wouldn’t be surprised if the gossipmongers have you and Miss Cox forming a liaison.’

‘What?’

He grinned. ‘She’s gay,’ he said, as if there was a need for an explanation.

‘Really? Well, I can tell you someone else who is also gay.’

He turned to face her, inching around in his seat.

‘Your dear friend and massage guru, Gordon. And in case you are not aware of it, he has the hots for you.’

She didn’t expect Langton to burst into laughter.

‘It’s the truth,’ she said angrily.

‘I’m sure it is. I always thought he was a bit light on his feet!’

‘Is that all you have to say?’

He was smiling as he nodded, and then leaned forwards to tap on the window of the taxi driver.

‘Tower Bridge, sorry.’

She sat back, arms folded.

‘Unless you’re hungry and we could grab a bite to eat?’

Anna shook her head.

‘Sad tonight, didn’t you think?’ Langton went on.

She made no reply.

‘Mind you, if she’d carried on sniffing coke and using crack cocaine she probably would have destroyed herself. That’s the saddest thing – so beautiful, so talented, and if she’d lived, this movie would have made her an even bigger star. Instead she ends up with multiple stab-wounds and a body that was ready to cave in.’

Anna looked out of the window. The rain was still pouring down. She jumped when Langton took her hand.

‘Don’t get angry, Anna, get smart. I believe in you and I sincerely think you have a big career ahead of you.’ Relieved to be giving the driver directions to her block of flats, she nonetheless felt awkward as Langton held onto her hand. Not until the taxi had pulled up did she try to release her hand from his. Langton pulled shut the window between them and the driver.

‘I love you, Anna.’ His voice was low. ‘You know that, don’t you? I want to look out for you. Don’t get into a situation where you can’t come to me, talk to me. I’ll always be here for you.’

She faced him. His dark eyes bore into her and for the first time she really took on board what he was saying, how much older he looked, how perhaps he was being kindly rather than having any ulterior motive.

‘Goodnight,’ she said softly.

‘No, don’t get out yet. Talk to me.’

‘I don’t think there’s anything more to say.’

‘Of course there is. You think I don’t know how disappointed you must feel? Never mind how much you’ve been bottling up inside you about me.’

‘I haven’t bottled anything up,’ she snapped.

‘Of course you have. You think after all this time I don’t know you? And bringing up that crap about Gordon – how did you expect me to react?’

‘I just thought you should know.’

‘Really? Well, his private life is his own business, but yours is important to me. I don’t want us to part with any grudges against each other, Anna. Like I said, I care for you and it’s quite possible we’ll work together again.’

‘Don’t worry, I won’t embarrass you.’

‘For Christ’s sake, stop this. You’re acting like a child, when I am trying to be as positive as I can be about us.’

She faced him. Said hotly, ‘
Us
? It seems to me that you feel like you have the right to call in and see me at all hours of the day and night. You turned up uninvited when Gordon was there, and you knew we had slept together. You couldn’t have made it more obvious that you felt you had the right to interfere in my private business!’

Langton laughed gently. ‘Well, as it turned out, I needn’t have worried.’

‘You think it’s funny?’ Her voice sounded shrill and she wished she didn’t feel like bursting into tears.

‘I was jealous as hell, all right? Is that what you want to hear?’ He sighed. ‘There you have it. And you are right – I shouldn’t still feel that I can call on you when I choose. To be honest, I never thought about it until now. Maybe the hardest thing for me is to let you go.’

What he was saying confused her to such an extent that she closed her eyes. She was even more confused when he put his arm around her.

‘Anna, you took good care of me when I needed you. Sometimes, I feel that I never really showed you how much I appreciated all your patience and, if it wasn’t for you, I doubt if I would have ever got myself back together – well, not physically anyway. I’m still emotionally screwed up.’

‘About me?’ she whispered.

‘Of course about you. I meant it when I said I loved you. I do, and I can’t help feeling jealous when I think I’m losing the one person I feel so protective of. But this is not me wanting us to get back together. I don’t want you to think that is what I want.’

‘Why not?’

He slowly moved his arm from around her.

‘Anna, I’m married and have two kids. Whether or not I got into this for the wrong reasons, it’s my life now. I am going to make it work, just as much as I want you to know how special you are. I want you to trust me and know that what I did at the promotion meeting was because I want you to succeed – and I believe you will, given time.’

‘Can I go now?’ She needed to be on her own.

He sighed, then cupped her face in his hands and kissed her. ‘Yes, you can go, sweetheart. No hard feelings?’

‘No hard feelings. I really appreciate everything you’ve told me. You’re right, I’m still young, there’ll be another opportunity. I’ll show them!’

Langton gave her a lopsided smile as she got out, and waved to her as the taxi drove off. Then he sat back, wishing he could light a cigarette because no matter what he had said, all he wanted to do was to stop the taxi, run back to her and kiss her again. Anna represented youth and freshness and, beside her, he felt jaded and old, too old to continue their relationship even when it had been a possibility. For once though, he told himself, he was behaving responsibly.

Until the next time, at least.