Silence (29 page)

‘Father, father.
 
…
’

With sunken eyes he looked toward the door as he heard a voice that was somehow familiar. ‘Father, father. It’s Kichijirō.’

‘I’m no longer “father”,’ answered the priest in a low voice, as he clasped his knees with his hands. ‘Go away quickly. You’ll pay for it if they find you here.’

‘But you can still hear my confession!’

‘I wonder.’ He lowered his head. ‘I’m a fallen priest.’

‘In Nagasaki they call you the Apostate Paul. Everyone knows you by that name.’

Still clutching his knees, the priest laughed. It wasn’t necessary to tell him this; he knew it already. He knew that they called Ferreira the Apostate Peter and himself the Apostate Paul. Sometimes the children had gathered at his door chanting the name in a loud voice.

‘Please hear my confession. If even the Apostate Paul has the power to hear confessions, please give me absolution for my sins.’

It is not man who judges. God knows our weakness more than anyone, reflected the priest.

‘Father, I betrayed you. I trampled on the picture of Christ,’ said Kichijirō with tears. ‘In this world are the strong and the weak. The strong never yield to torture, and they go to Paradise; but what about those, like myself, who are born weak, those who, when tortured and ordered to trample on the sacred image
 
…
’

I, too, stood on the sacred image. For a moment this foot was on his face. It was on the face of the man who has been ever in my thoughts, on the face that was before me on the mountains, in my wanderings, in prison, on the best and most beautiful face that any man can ever know, on the face of him whom I have always longed to love. Even now that face is looking at me with eyes of pity from the plaque rubbed flat by many feet. ‘Trample!’ said those compassionate eyes. ‘Trample! Your foot suffers in pain; it must suffer like all the feet that have stepped on this plaque. But that pain alone is enough. I understand your pain and your suffering. It is for that reason that I am here.’

‘Lord, I resented your silence.’

‘I was not silent. I suffered beside you.’

‘But you told Judas to go away: What thou dost do quickly. What happened to Judas?’

‘I did not say that. Just as I told you to step on the plaque, so I told Judas to do what he was going to do. For Judas was in anguish as you are now.’

He had lowered his foot on to the plaque, sticky with dirt and blood. His five toes had pressed upon the face of one he loved. Yet he could not understand the tremendous onrush of joy that came over him at that moment.

‘There are neither the strong nor the weak. Can anyone say that the weak do not suffer more than the strong?’ The priest spoke rapidly, facing the entrance. ‘Since in this country there is now no one else to hear your confession, I will do it
 
…
Say the prayers after confession
 
…
Go in peace!’

Kichijirō wept softly; then he left the house. The priest had administered that sacrament that only the priest can administer. No doubt his fellow priests would condemn his act as sacrilege; but even if he was betraying them, he was not betraying his Lord. He loved him now in a different way from before. Everything that had taken place until now had been necessary to bring him to this love. ‘Even now I am the last priest in this land. But Our Lord was not silent. Even if he had been silent, my life until this day would have spoken of him.’

Appendix

DIARY OF AN OFFICER AT THE CHRISTIAN RESIDENCE

The Twelfth Year of Kanbun, Water-Senior-Rat

A
T
present
Okada San’emon
is granted the ration of ten persons; Bokui, Juan, Nanho, Jikan, the ration of seven persons each. Submitted the following to Tōtōminokami on 17th June.

NOTE

1
Seibē. Age: 50. Cousin to the wife of
San’emon.
Ship’s carpenter Fukagawa.

2
Gen’emon. Age: 55. Cousin to the same. Servant to Doi Oinokami.

3
Sannojō. Nephew to the same. With Seibē.

4
Shōkurō. Age: 30. Nephew to the same. Workman at Esashi-cho.

5
Adachi Gonzaburō Reported to be an apprentice to Bokui, the handicraftsman. During the time of Hōjō’s management.

6
Jin’emon. Uncle to the daughter of Juan. Lives in Kawagoe. Came once during the time of Hōjō’s management. Came to see Juan again on 26th April this Year of the Rat.

The First Year of Enpō, Water-Junior-Ox

9th November.

Bokui died of illness at six o’clock in the morning. As examiners came Inspectors Kimura Yoemon and Ushida Jingobē with both Assistant Inspectors. Police Officers: Shōzaemon, Den’emon, Sōbē, Gensuke. Policemen attended: Asakura Saburōemon, Arakawa Kyūzaemon, Kainuma Kan’emon, Fukuda Hachirobē, Hitotsubashi Matabē. Cremated at Muryōin Temple. Posthumous Buddhist name: Kōgan Shōten Zenjōmon. Endō Hikobē and Sergeant Kidaka Jūzaemon examined the belongings of Tokuzaemon, the servant of Bokui, and sent him home after trying him by fumie.

The Second Year of Enpō, Wood-Senior-Tiger

FROM
20th January to 8th February.

Okada San’emon
is engaged in writing a disavowal of his religion at the command of Tōtōminokami. Consequently Ukai Shōzaemon, Kayō Den’emon and Hoshino Gensuke are released from duty to take charge of him.

16th February.

Okada San’emon
is engaged in writing a book. Kayō Den’emon and Kawara Jingobē are both to be released from duty to attend
San’emon
from 28th February to 5th March.

Okada San’emon
is to write a disavowal of his religion from 14th June to 24th July in the Study of the Mountain Villa. Consequently Kayō Den’emon and Kawara Jingobē are to be released from duty to attend him.

5th September.

Juan was sent to gaol. To be kept there for some time as a penalty for his perverse conduct. Those who attended at the pronouncement were Rokuemon, Shōzaemon, Sōbe, Den’emon, Gensuke, Kawara and Kamei. Persons on monthly duty are Tsukamoto Rokuemon and Kayō Den’emon.

The Fourth Year of Enpō, Fire Senior-Dragon

Kichijirō, the attendant of Okada San’emon, who came here following him, was also sent to gaol because of his suspicious behavior. On searching his pocket at the Enclosed Guardhouse, there was found in the amulet-case he wore hung from his neck an image to which the Christians pay respect, with St. Paul and St. Peter on one side and Xavier and an angel on the other. Summoned out of gaol, Kichijirō was asked about his native place and about his relatives. He is from Goto and fifty-four of age this Year of the Dragon.

There is something suspicious about the faith of Hitotsubashi Matabē, who has been on familiar terms with
Kichijirō.
So Matabē is also kept in prison until
Kichijirō
explains himself. (Omitted.) As Matabē is friendly with
Kichijirō,
his faith is open to suspicion. Hence the above measure. When Kurōzaemon and Shinbē, who are said to have been in close association with Matabē were examined, their persons were closely searched in the Study. Their clothes including both their outer sashes and loincloth, purses of pocket-paper, and amulets were examined without exception. (Omitted.) Tōtōminokami came here in person, summoned
Kichijirō
to the Study, and asked him from whom he had received the sacred object of the Christian. To this he answered, ‘An attendant named Saizaburō, who visited this Residence three years ago, kept it with him. When he came here, he dropped it and went back. So we picked it up and I kept it. Tokuemon, the Gate-keeper, also knows this.’ At this Tokuemon was called and questioned, and he said he had witnessed the scene one summer day when the airing of clothes had taken place. Questioned if he had not received it from
Okada Sanemon, Kichijirō
said, ‘There is no chance to get anything from
San’emon
,’ which meant, as he explained, that there was no chance because San’emon was always attended by a couple of guards on duty whenever he saw him.

17th September.

Lord Tōtōminokami came personally to the Mountain Villa, and summoned three attendants to the Study to examine whether or not they were Christians.
Kichijirō
and Tokuemon were summoned later and were cross-examined. He also commanded that all the tenements of the guards should be closely searched, and the three Official Residences and the Lodges as well. Even wives and children were told to undo their sashes and loincloth in front of the officer. The Buddhist images they kept with them were of course examined. And then, on searching the dwelling of Sugiyama Shichirobē, Kobure Jūzaemon discovered among old scraps of paper a note of Christian words, which Kayō Den’emon seized to submit it to the Manager. It read: Father, Archbishop, Bishop, Pope.

18th.

Lord Tōtōminokami came personally to the Mountain Villa and heard the explanation from the three attendants in the Study. He also summoned Hitotsubashi Matabē to examine him.
Kichijirō
and Tokuemon were examined next.
Okada San’emon’s
wife, his maidservant and boy were summoned and examined later.
San’emon
himself was also sent for and was questioned whether or not he had tried to convert
Kichijirō
, to which he answered he had never tried to convert him at all. So he was commanded to put his hand-print on the paper testifying that he had not tried to convert the same. Afterwards Sugiyama Shichirobē was summoned and was asked why he had kept that note of Christian offices that had been found the day before. Shichirobē said, ‘During the time of Hōjō Awanokami’s management his Chief Retainers told me to memorize these names as I was in charge of such matters. And so I received that note from Hattori Sahē, the Police Officer.’ His explanation was admitted to be consistent, and he was sent back.

Tahē, an attendant to Kasahara Gōemon who serves the Minister Tatebayashi, and Shinbē, the guard who belongs as a porter to the Squad of Saitō Tanomo, both were called and brought face to face with
Kichijirō
to investigate about the image they had picked up. It turned out true that Shinbē picked it up. The same Tahē said that he had seen Shinbē hold it. Consequently both Tahē and Shinbē were sent back.

The same day. Hitotsubashi Matabē was hung within the gaol. The officers in charge were Hisaki Gen’emon, Okuda Tokubē, Kawase Sobē and Kawara Jingobē. From this time on Matabē was tortured several times.

18th October.

Fine. The Lord came personally to the Mountain Villa. The Inspectors Sayama Shōzaemon and Tanegusa Tarōemon also came and tortured Hitotsubashi Matabē and his wife on the wooden horse. Naitō Shinbē was summoned to the Study. Matsui Kurōemon was examined and has roughly confessed.

24th November.

Had the notice board concerning informers of Christians nailed to the main entrance of the Mountain Villa. Kawara Jingobē, Ukai Gengoemon and Yamada Jurobe saw to it. The same notice board was prepared at command of the both lords. It reads:

ANNOUNCEMENT

The Christian faith has been prohibited for many years. Everyone is encouraged to report suspicious persons. The following shall be given in reward:

To the Informer on a Father: 300 Pieces of Silver

To the Informer on a Brother: 200 Pieces of Silver

To the Informer on a Retrovert: ditto

To the Informer on a Catechist or lay

Christian: 100 Pieces of Silver

Even though the informer himself is a catechist or a lay Christian, he shall be given 300 pieces of silver according to the status of the accused. Should anybody shelter such persons and be found out by information from others, severe punishment shall be inflicted upon him and his family and relatives, and even upon the Head of the place and the surrounding families. The above is our announcement.

10th December.

Juan was sent to gaol. From both the Lords came the Managers Takahashi Naoemon and Hattori Kin’emon, and in the presence of the Police Officers from both the Lords, delivered to Juan the following statement:

Juan, who is always perverse, offered the other day an affront to Kayo Genzaemon, and proved himself to be a most insolent person. As a punishment for this, he is to be imprisoned. He is commanded to accept the above punishment.

Juan replied that it was his own desire and that he would accept it willingly. When led to the gaol, he produced his purse and committed it to the officers. It was taken to the Guardhouse and he entered into prison immediately. The same purse was examined in the presence of the Managers and the Police Officers from the Lords and in it was found seventeen
ryo
and one
bu
in small coins.

The rest of Juan’s belongings were examined and recorded in the book. The Police Officers sealed it and put it into Juan’s tenement.

Among Juan’s belongings were a chain, two disciplines, two rosaries and an astronomical chart.

The Ninth Year of Enpō, Gold-Junior-Cock

25th July.

Okada San’emon
died of illness at 2-3 past the hour of the Monkey. Called on the Lord to report this with Ukai Gengoemon and Naruse Jirōzaemon. The Managers Takahara Sekinojō, Emagari Jūrōemon were immediately sent here from the Lord’s. Had the corpse of
San’emon
constantly watched by three policemen.

The money
San’emon
had was thirteen
ryo
and three
bu
in small coins and five
ryo
in gold coins, which total twenty-eight
ryo
and three
bu.
His belongings were sealed by the attendants and the Lord’s Managers, and were put into the Godown on 28th.