Silas (10 page)

I’d managed to let down my
guard. I guessed I was just drunk enough. I wasn’t looking for Rolf
in every corner or around every bend. Possibly because it was the
night before the wedding, I felt like Griffin and Leigh had stopped
being so icy towards me. At the rehearsal beforehand, we’d all had
to practice the order we’d enter and walk out during the ceremony,
and everyone had been in a good mood, laughing and
joking.

Right at that moment, I felt
like the anxiety I’d had over Rolf was miles away. I felt free and
loose.

“
I want to propose a toast,”
Griffin was saying, grinning widely. “To my beautiful
bride.”

Leigh blushed beside him.
She grabbed his elbow. “Stop it. Sit down.”

He pulled away from her.
“No, no. I want to do this.”

“
I didn’t make up a toast
for you,” she protested, her face getting even redder.

“
You don’t have to do that.”
He leaned down and kissed her forehead. “I love you.”

A collective “Awww” rippled
over the table. Everyone was laughing and smiling. I had to admit
that it was nice to see them happy like this. If the relationship
thing really worked for them, then I wasn’t about to stand in their
way.

“
Anyway.” Griffin
straightened.

We all laughed.

“
To Leigh Thorn,” he said,
holding his glass aloft. “The most beautiful, most understanding,
most amazing woman on earth. I wouldn’t make it without her. She’s
everything I need.”

More romantic sighing from the
girls.

We all raised our glasses.

“
To Leigh,” Griffin said
again.

“
To Leigh,” we all
repeated.

We clinked our glasses. We
drank.

More smiles. More laughter.

I felt like I was in a big, bright
bubble of happiness..

Or maybe I’d just had too
much wine.

I wasn’t sure.

Leigh stood up. “Wait, wait,
wait. I have to toast to you too.”

“
Doll,” he laughed, “I just
said that you didn’t.”

“
No, I want to,” she said,
looking down at him.

He gazed up at her in
adoration.

I had to look away. The look
was so nakedly full of love and desire that it made me
uncomfortable. I didn’t think I’d ever witnessed that emotion, much
less experienced it.

“
To Griffin Fawkes,” she
said. “The strongest, bravest man in the world. He’s saved my life
more than once. In so many different ways. He makes me
better.”

The romantic sighs were even
more poignant. Hell, I was tempted to give in and sigh with
them.

She raised her glass. “To
Griffin.”

We raised our glasses too.
We echoed her. “To Griffin.”

More glass clinking. More drinking.
More laughter.

Sloane let out an audible
sigh. “They’re so happy.” Then, without warning, she punched me in
the arm.

“
Ow,” I said. “What have I
told you about that hitting thing? Why’d you even do
that?”

“
You have to stop scaring
away any guy that comes within two feet of me,” she said. “How else
am I ever going to get married?”

“
You wanna get married?” I
guess part of me had thought that Sloane and I would spend the rest
of our lives living together in that house. How else was I supposed
to make sure she was okay?

“
Someday,” she said. “And,
deep down, you do too.”

“
No,” I said. “I don’t. It’s
like no one listens to a word I say.”

* * *

After the rehearsal dinner,
I decided to go out. Sloane got on my case about it, saying that I
was going to be hungover tomorrow for the wedding and that I was
being a jackass, but I told her to shove it.

I was losing my touch here.
I hadn’t slept with a single girl since I’d been with Christa. And
I didn’t even remember that. Christa wasn’t interested in me. She
pushed me away when I’d tried to kiss her. I was turning into
Griffin mooning over her. That wasn’t me. I wasn’t the kind of guy
that freaked out about a girl.

There were lots of girls out
there. Christa didn’t want me? Fine. Time to get back on the
horse.

I hit up a bar that almost
never carded. It was a rundown sort of place in a permanent double
wide on the edge of town. The girls that showed up at this place
were either trashy, rednecky kind of chicks with bad dye jobs and
cigarette breath or co-eds too young to drink legally, who’d heard
about the place by reputation.

I decided that I could really go either
way that night. Trashy, rednecky girls sometimes had their charm,
after all.

I spent my first few drinks
scoping out the bar, trying to decide who I should go after. I
flirted with the bartender, a redhead, and managed to worm my way
into a game of darts with some guys wearing worn baseball
caps.

As luck would have it, I
didn’t end up having to pick, because a girl came to me.

She sidled over to us to
watch the dart game and said she’d like to play.

We agreed, because she was
cute. She had light brown curly hair and a nice rack. She was
chewing gum, and she giggled a lot. But I saw her checking me out,
and I knew that she would be an easy mark.

And I didn’t really need
something too complicated tonight, after all. I was recovering from
whatever craziness had seized me when it came to Christa, and I
needed a girl who’d fall onto her back with minimal effort from
me.

She was really bad at darts,
and she giggled about that too. “You should help me aim,” she said,
winking at me.

Right.

“
Sure,” I said, grinning. I
eased up behind her, pressing myself against her back. I took one
of her arms in mine. “So,” I whispered in her ear, “what you want
to do is hold the dart so that it’s at a ninety degree angle with
the dart board.”

“
What?” She wriggled her ass
against my crotch. “I don’t understand.”

“
Just hold it flat.” I
grabbed her hip, yanking her closer.

She smiled over her shoulder
at me. “Well, this is getting fun.”

“
Looks like fun,” said a
female voice. “You gonna teach me how to throw darts next,
Silas?”

I whipped my head around. Who was here
that knew my name?

Christa had her arms folded
over her chest. “Hey.”

I pushed the girl with curly
hair away from me. “What are you doing here?”

Christa laughed. “Hanging
out. Drinking. Maybe playing some darts. What are you doing
here?”

The girl with curly hair
chewed on her lip, looking a little worried. “Is that your
girlfriend or something?”

“
I don’t do girlfriends,” I
said. To Christa, “You’re going to be hungover for the
wedding.”

“
Oh, heavens, no,” said
Christa in a mocking tone. “Not a hangover.”

“
Someone’s getting married?”
said the girl with curly hair.

“
You’re not even supposed to
be in here,” I told Christa. “You’re underage.”

She glared at me. “I think
you’ll get a little more volume if you speak from the
diaphragm.”

The girl with curly hair
looked nervous. “Are you done helping me with darts?”

I turned back to her. “I,
uh…”

She looked down at her toes.
She was hurt. Dammit. I’d hurt that stupid girl’s feelings. Well, I
guessed it was better to have it done it now than after I’d fucked
her.

I handed her back the dart I
was holding. “Sorry.”

“
Oh, you’re ditching her for
me?” said Christa. “I’m flattered, Silas, but really, I thought I
made it clear to you—”

“
I’ll buy you a drink.” I
took Christa by the arm and steered her to the other side of the
room, where there were a few arcade games and a jukebox.

“
Um, generally, people buy
drinks at the bar,” she said. “Which is over there.” She
pointed.

Right. Okay. Why did she
make me so damned flustered? “Stay here.”

I went to the bar and bought two beers.
When I got back to her, she was putting money in the
jukebox.

I handed her the beer.

“
Thanks.” She took it. “You
think I should spend the credits and play this song
first?”

“
I don’t know,” I said. Why
was she asking me this?

She pressed something on the
screen.

A song started to pulse over
the speakers, something upbeat and guitar heavy. I recognized it, I
thought. I’d heard it on the radio before. It was one of those
chick singers. The chorus was something about not needing a guy or
something. I didn’t know.

Christa started to sway her
hips. “You wanna dance with me Silas?”

“
No one else is dancing,” I
said.

“
So?” she said.

“
So, if you’re illegally
drinking in a bar, maybe it’s not wise to call attention to
yourself.”

She giggled. She eased her way over to
me, undulating her hips.

My jaw twitched. I had to
admit she looked good. She was wearing a pair of skin-tight
leggings and a tank top that settled around her hips.

She slid against me, pressing her
breasts into my chest.

They were soft. I shut my
eyes. “I didn’t think you were into me.”

“
I’m not,” she said, turning
around, pressing her ass into my groin, writhing against
me.

Immediately, I was hard.
Fuck her for that.

She felt it. She giggled, her hand
traveling up my leg and reaching for my crotch.

I seized her wrist.
“Stop.”

She turned to face me,
giving me a sultry smile. “There you go grabbing onto me again. Let
go of me.”

I did.

Fuck this. If she wanted to
play games like that, she could count me out. I started to walk
away.

“
What? Too much for you to
handle?” she called after me.

I stopped. I turned back
around. “What’s your deal, Christa?”

She was still dancing to the
song, moving her hips in slow circles. She tangled one of her hands
in her hair. “I’m just trying to have fun, Silas. That’s
all.”

I strode over to her. “I’m
not the kind of guy you want to work up for fun.”

She laughed. “Oooh. You’re
so scary. You bench press a lot, and you think it actually means
you’re dangerous?”

It was my turn to laugh.
“You have no idea.”

She licked her lips. “What
are you going to do to me?”

My hard-on throbbed. Fuck
her for doing that. I sucked in breath. “Nothing. If you don’t want
me to do anything, then I’m not
going
to do anything. That was why I
was walking away.”

“
Why?” she said. “Because I
was ‘working you up’?” Her voice got breathy on the last words. She
threw her head back. “Do you want me, Silas? Do you want to touch
me?” She ran her own finger over her neck and chest, sliding over
the outside wall of her breast.

I couldn’t help but let my
gaze follow her hand as it traveled over her body. My voice was
strained. “You know I do.”

She smiled. “You want to
kiss me?” She raised her eyebrows. “You want to run your hands all
over me?”

“
Fuck you.” I squeezed my
eyes shut. I was going to walk away. I was going to do it
now.

She pressed close again. “If
you want to do it, then you can.”

“
What?” I pulled
away.

“
You can fuck me if you want
to,” she said. “I’ve decided I don’t care.”

I furrowed my brow. “You
know, I think I’d prefer it if you did care.”

She slugged her beer.
“Whatever, Silas. Limited time offer. Take me to bed or lose me
forever.”

I wasn’t sure about this. I
didn’t move. She was acting kind of strange, wasn’t she? She was
kind of hostile about the entire thing. That couldn’t be good,
could it?

“
Jesus, haven’t you
ever seen
Top Gun
?”

“
What?”

“
I was quoting the most
awesome ‘80s movie of the entire decade, and you still have
super-serious face.”

I took her by the arm again.
“Let’s go.”

“
You gonna fuck me
silly?”

“
Let’s just get out of
here.” I began to walk, pulling her along with me.

She came willingly enough.
“Silas, don’t tell me that you suddenly
don’t
want to screw me sideways. You
haven’t stopped trying since I met you.”

I propelled her out of the
bar. We weaved through other drunk people to the door. Outside, the
spring air was chilly. “It’s only that I’m a little confused. You
just said you weren’t into me.”