Siege Of the Heart (24 page)

“You only want me to give you my lands, a conqueror’s decree.” He would not fool her again.

“God’s truth, Isabel, I will admit I set sail with William to better my lot. You can hardly blame me for taking the only chance available to me,” Alex said, the hurt clear in his voice. “And yes, William promised you to me as a reward for my services in the campaign, but you must look beyond that.” He reached out to her and put his hands on her shoulders. “Because you are more to me than a reward. You are just as much a new beginning for me as I am for you.”

Isabel tried to pull away. He could not touch her. Not now, not with all this between them, but he held her fast.

“No, look at me. Listen.” Alex’s voice pleaded with her. “We complement each other perfectly. How can you be so blind to it, to us?”

She forced herself to blink, to sever whatever hold his eyes had over her. “I beg your pardon for being so blinded by your lies.” Isabel finally succeeded in shaking him off. She crossed her arms, scowling at Alex in the darkness.

He shook his head. “Do not profess your innocence in all this, my dear. You lied to me countless times. And your mistruths have higher penalties associated with them. A less understanding man could interpret them as treason.” He gave her a considering look. “You should thank me for being so forgiving.”

“I lied to protect my people. You lied to protect yourself. The difference is clear.”

“We both know you were the one who needed more time to come to terms with what happened,” he said, his voice heavy with condemnation. “You needed the reprieve. The interests of your people were only a handy justification.”

Isabel almost choked on her rage. “How dare you say that!”

“I dare because I am right. How many more excuses are you going to levy at me, Isabel? You and I already know that deep down you are relieved.” He reached out again and cupped her cheek. The touch bruised her heart. “Relieved that it will be me and not some brute or lackwit.”

He spoke the truth, but Isabel’s realization of it threatened her already tenuous control of the situation. “I hardly see the difference.”

“I will show you what the difference is,” he growled, moving closer to her.

She pulled back, sensing his intentions. “Do not touch me.”

“Isabel, we belong to each other.”

She continued to back away, shaking her head, resolve stiffening her frame. “Not yet. Not if I can put a stop to it.”

“If you would calm down, you will realize what an opportunity this is.” He took another step toward her.

“Do not,” Isabel said in a steely voice. Her hand hovered over the hilt of her seax. “I have killed men less deserving than you.”

Alex stared at her in outrage but nonetheless heeded her. “Come now, you must see reason.”

“Do not tempt me, Alex.”

He eyed her sword arm warily. “You know I would not hurt you…”

Isabel’s resolve slipped. “How can I be sure?” she cried. “You have hidden your true reason for coming into my life. You once asked for my trust, and now you have completely lost it. As far as I know, you are the devil himself,” she said, her voice hardening. “And I vow to keep you away from me and my people.”

“Nonsense. Nothing has changed. I am still the man you know.”

“
Non
, you are not.”

Alex shook his head in protest. “Enough of this or I will—”

“Or you will what? Kiss me against my will? Rape me to prove your claim?”

Alex stood, aghast, for one long moment. “How could you even suggest such a thing? What we have between us is—”

“There is nothing between us.”

Alex held up his hand for silence, his voice heavy with repressed fury. “I have heard enough, my lady. I will not waste any more of my efforts trying to convince you a match between us would be ideal. That is for you and William to discuss. My feelings toward you, my intentions, have always been honorable. I have come to care too much for you for them to be otherwise.” He pointed to the inn, hardly looking at her. “You must get some rest. We have two more days of hard riding ahead of us.”

“Alex…” she whispered, but she had no idea what she would say.

He turned away from her to look into the night. “Just go.”

* * * *

Isabel had long been awake before Captain Thomas’s soft rap interrupted the morning stillness. A night of fitful sleep failed to soothe her fury at Alex’s deception. The rope-slung mattress was no better than a night on the hard ground. Once she heard the servants moving about, she dismissed Averill and dressed in her traveling clothes. The only armor she had to face the day, and Alexandre.

She bid Captain Thomas enter. He eyed her clothes and her packed saddlebags, which rested beside her on the bed, but made no comment. “The men will be ready soon.”

“Very well.” She rose to her feet and shook the skirt of her riding dress into place.

Captain Thomas nodded and moved to leave, but Isabel forestalled him.

“I would speak to you, Captain Thomas, if you have the time.”

“Certainly, my lady.” He searched her face and shut the door behind him. “What is troubling you?”

Isabel took a deep breath and started to slowly pace across the wooden floorboards. “I am to be married.”

“I know. We have already assumed as much.”

“It is to be William’s choice,” Isabel continued.

“Yes, I am afraid that will no doubt be the case,” he said, his gaze wary as he tracked her around the room.

“I had hoped he would be reasonable and allow me some input, but it is too late.”

“Why do you say that?” he asked. “You have not even met with him yet.”

She stopped and whirled toward Captain Thomas. “Because Alexandre has already informed me of William’s decision—him.” The disgust in her voice left no doubt as to which him she referred to but the old knight made no reply and only raised an eyebrow.

“I could barely stand his impudence when he told me,” she said. “Of all the men to choose, William picked Alexandre.”

“Are you more upset William has made a decision or that he decided on Alexandre?”

Isabel sputtered for a moment, taken aback by the question. “But are you not surprised?” she asked.

Captain Thomas chuckled. “Surprised? Not at all. Indeed, my dear, I am surprised you did not see such a possibility yourself.”

“How did you know?”

“It became obvious to me when Alexandre not only tolerated your appalling behavior but provoked you at every opportunity. I assumed your…” he trailed off, searching for the right word, “…passionate nature intrigued him.”

Heat suffused her face. She scowled at Captain Thomas. “Why did you not inform me of your suspicions?”

“My lady, why did you not form your own?”

His words stung her in their clarity. She started to answer and then shut her mouth with a teeth-rattling click. Originally, she had interpreted Alex’s interest in her as one of the hazards of being a woman alone among battle-weary men. Then she had felt his interest in her was spurred on by the challenge she posed to his manly pride. Alex had made his feelings toward her known, but she had not considered him a feasible choice for a suitor. However, just when she thought his regard for her went deeper, she had learned he only wanted to win her favor so she would blindly agree to marry him when William proposed the match.

She shook her head, pacing the room in agitation once more. She had not expected Alex to be her betrothed. She was worthy of men well above an escort’s station, but Alex had shown on countless occasions the extent of his merit, and William needed to reward such men for their competence, honor and loyalty. But why did it have to be her? Her father had told her stories of how fickle William could be, and she should have been prepared for such a surprise.

She dragged her thoughts back to Captain Thomas, wanting to protest her ignorance, but he was already speaking, oblivious to her preoccupation. “The signs were there, Isabel, but you would not see them. You wanted to pretend William would treat you like your father did and let you do whatever you willed. Knowing all the difficulties you have faced these weeks, I thought it cruel to disabuse you of such notions. Forgive me for not saying something sooner.”

Did Captain Thomas think she was not strong enough for the truth? Isabel shook her head in disbelief. “Did you not think I should be prepared for this turn of events? That after all the upheaval, the chance to have my future’s uncertainty made certain would not bring some small comfort to my life?”

Captain Thomas raised his hands. “Isabel, would it have made a difference if you knew now or a week ago? Answer me truthfully, girl.”

She held his gaze for a moment, then looked away. “No, I suppose not. But Alexandre, of all people.” She pushed a stray lock of hair away from her face. “I have been such a fool.”

“Now, now. It is not so bad.”

“It is. He deceived me, lied about his intentions. And I was none the wiser. How could I ever trust a man like that, let alone marry him and grant him reign over my people?”

“I cannot speak as to why Alexandre misrepresented the truth of things between you. That is something you will need to ask him yourself, but I am certain you can learn to trust him, Isabel. Just as he will have to learn how to behave with you.”

“He would do well to learn to leave me alone.” As she spoke the words, Alex’s words the night before echoed in her head. Alone. She was utterly alone, was she not? No family, an uncertain future. Both English and Norman, and neither at the same time.

“That will not happen and you well know it.” Captain Thomas watched her for a moment, letting the silence fill the space between them. He shook his head. “I do not understand where all this hostility is coming from, my dear. I have seen the way you two interact. Despite your anger at how Alexandre handled the situation, some part of you must know your true feelings for him.”

“You are mistaken.” She put all her anger at Captain Thomas and his well-intentioned and entirely too truthful words into her voice.

“I am not, my dear. And it is high time you sort out your feelings on the subject before your audience with William. He will not be so tolerant with your meager excuses.”

Isabel glared at him, but he just gazed unapologetically back. He finally cleared his throat and headed to the door. “I will check on the horses,” he threw over his shoulder.

She gritted her teeth as the door slammed shut behind the knight. Isabel knew she should not be fighting with Captain Thomas when her real complaint was with Alexandre. However, the knowledge did nothing to soothe her ire. As she picked up her saddlebags, a wave of helplessness threatened to engulf her, but she fought it. She still had her meeting with William to contend with, and she would not see her people punished for her behavior.

With newfound resolve, she donned her traveling cloak and made her way to the stables.

* * * *

When they reached the outskirts of London, the late afternoon sun smoldered behind low clouds. Just as Alex warned, it had been two exhausting days in the saddle. Alex had set a grueling pace that pushed the limits of the horses’ abilities. Even Isabel, an experienced horsewoman, was sore and tired from their journey. Though she soon forgot about her mild aches as they made their way toward William’s quarters in London.

Seeing the condition of the town put uncomfortable pressure on her chest. Whole rows of buildings, shops and houses alike, were burned to the ground, the rubble in turn sheltering every creature of the town. Injured and sickly people crowded the streets. Norman soldiers patrolled the area, too often picking fights with the English townsfolk.

The crowds, the smells, the cacophony overwhelmed her senses. She looked forward to the chance to get off the streets and away from the soldiers who sneered at her English garb but appraised her figure. The displaced English people milling the streets either begged her for coin or cursed at her for joining with the Normans. All too aware of the attention Isabel received, Alex ordered the men to flank her and Averill, but every so often, some nimble fellow would break through their ranks to beg, barter or blaspheme.

An acquaintance of Alexandre’s—another of William’s knights—happened upon them and joined their party as they carried on to the motte and bailey style castle William had hastily erected as soon as he had claimed London. He told Alex the cramped conditions at the castle had forced many of William’s men to take rooms at common houses. Getting an appointment with William was also problematic. He spent much of his time handling various disputes with the London townspeople or meeting with the obsequious English nobility who continued to funnel into the city to pay homage. All of William’s men, now that the fighting was over, expected to learn whether their rewards comprised of lands, riches or titles.