Shuffle (Ruby Riot #2) (22 page)

Shaun slides his other hand beneath my shirt and along my side. “How does your rock star like to fuck you? Is he rough? Is that what you like?”

My anger morphs into fear. I’m out of my depth and sinking deeper by the second. I attempt to move, but Shaun’s fingers dig into my side and I wince. “I am. I like girls who do what I say.”

“Let me out of this room or –” I’m interrupted by Shaun covering my mouth with his hand and pushing my head against the wall.

“And I don’t like girls who won’t do as I say.”

****

WILL

My palm sweats as I stare at the phone.

What the fuck? Shaun? After everything she said about him? Is this why she stopped talking about him?

But the anger is edged by something else. Fleur wouldn’t do this, and if she did cheat, it wouldn’t be with him. I couldn’t hear her properly, but she sounded stressed. And why would Fleur say the name of the guy she was cheating on me with if she knew I could hear?

Something weird is going on.

“What’s up, man?”

I look up at Sam as he sets a couple of drinks on the table. I met him when I arrived at the pub for a beer; we shared a couple and when he left to buy the next round I snatched my chance to call Fleur. She’s all I can think about anyway. “I gotta go.”

“Everything okay?”

“Yeah, need to catch up with Fleur.”

“Oh. She sick? She missed class today.”

“Did she?”

“Yeah, she missed a few recently.”

I tap my phone against my chin. “I didn’t know that.”

Sam lowers his voice. “I heard a rumour, not sure how true it is.”

“What?”

“Someone said she’s up in front of the Board for plagiarism. I don’t believe them; that’s not something Fleur would do.”

I shake my head at the information. “Man, I gotta go. I’ll ask her.”

As I stride across campus, back to the department, my mind reels. Is Fleur that desperate to succeed that she’d risk her future by plagiarising? No, she’s smarter than that. Why the fuck hasn’t she said anything to me? What happened to our trust?

Shaun and Fleur.

They could be at his place. Out together. On campus. I stride through the dusk, if I pass his office I can check if the light is on and go from there. Go where? Do what? My head fucking hurts as the confusion strangles my rationality. She lied. Fleur is with Shaun and made up some bullshit excuse.

I look up. Shaun’s office is on the second floor and there are two windows lit. Is one of them his? The department is quiet, only the desk staff left and they’re preparing to leave, chatting, and not paying attention as I pass. Jumping up the stairs two at a time, I pause as raised voices come from a room nearby. Light filters beneath one of the doors and I stride over.

“Get your hands off me!”

Fleur.

The anger I held the night she went into his flat is nothing compared to the fury flooding my system now. I yank the door handle and step into the room.

Fleur’s cornered and obscured by Shaun’s frame as she struggles against him. Shaun twists his head around and the rage flashes red across my vision.

Words won’t come and my mind blanks as I pull my hand back and hit him straight in the face with all the force I have. Shaun drops his grip on Fleur and attempts to strike out at me. I duck, grab his shirt with both hands, and slam him against the wall opposite Fleur.

“What the fuck is going on?” I yell.

“Ask your whore of a girlfriend,” he says wiping blood from his nose.

Fleur. She’s immobile, frightened, and when my eyes rest on her ripped shirt, the last civilised part of me leaves.

“Fuck you!” I pull Shaun back and smack his head against the wall. The thud sounds good, the shock on his face deserved, and I smack his head again. Harder. His head lolls forward.

“Will!” screams Fleur as I let Shaun go and I watch with satisfaction as he slips to the floor. “What are you doing? Stop!”

I don’t hear. I don’t give a shit, and I don’t know what the fuck comes over me; but I lay into him, punch after punch, each one releasing the pent up fury. Don’t. You. Fucking. Hurt. Fleur. I don’t stop until I’m aware of Fleur grabbing my arms and pulling me away.

“Will! He’s unconscious! Stop it!”

I stumble back to reality and grip my hand to stop myself doing any more damage. Shaun’s face is a mess and Fleur’s right. He isn’t moving. “Shit.”

Fleur kneels over Shaun and with a shaking hand pushes his shoulder. “Shaun.” No response. When she touches the back of his head, her fingers smear with blood to match that on his face. “What have you done, Will?” she whispers.

Breathing heavily through the ebbing fury, I stare at the surreal situation in front of me. “What did he do to you?”

“Nothing. He tried.” She gulps back a breath. “But this! How can you do this to somebody?”

“He was going to fucking rape you!”

“He wasn’t.”

“Don’t be stupid! He’s already ripped your clothes.”

Fleur touches her torn shirt, blinking as if unaware, and then looks back to Shaun. “I have to tell somebody,” she says hoarsely. “He’s unconscious, Will! What if he dies?”

The words stop time; and in that moment, the enormity of what I’ve done descends. I look at the blood on my knuckles, back to his face. “He won’t,” I say to myself. “He’ll be okay.”

I slip against the edge of the desk to the floor as Fleur leaves the room. Shaun remains motionless and I’m paralysed as I slump against the leg of the desk.

Then the world blurs around me as people come in and out of the room, shouting for ambulances, attending the still unconscious Shaun. Somebody drags me to my feet, pulls me downstairs to the faculty office where I sit and stare at my shoes. The world swirls around me, as if I’m on the edge of a dream. Not a dream. A nightmare I’ve created and thrown myself into.

When the police arrive and I’m arrested, all I do is ask if Fleur is okay. I haven’t seen her since she left the room. As I’m escorted away, I catch sight of Fleur standing with her arms around herself, next to a policewoman. I catch her eye briefly and Fleur holds my look with hard eyes before she turns her head.

I don’t see her again.

Chapter Thirty-Nine

WILL

The rest of that day is a blur.

The following week isn’t much clearer. I’m surrounded by a dark cloud of self-disgust and fear for the future. One copper gleefully told me I’d end up inside for what I did, spouting shit about how famous people think they can get away with breaking the law, and I won’t.

Jem, in his capacity as my manager, loses his shit with me, and then throws me to the lawyers. I listen but I’m numb, have no idea how I ended up in this mess. I’ve fought with Nate before, swung a few punches in the past, but never violence at a level lawyers are fighting to reduce from GBH to ABH.

Shaun’s hospitalised with a broken nose and jaw, and concussion for good measure. I’m in deep, deep shit. Media glee joins the horror from my friends and family, and I’m trapped. Sick. Terrified I will end up inside. If I do, how long for? Is this the end of my career? Jax threatens to recruit a new bassist, shouting the bloody house down until Tegan dragged him away to calm down.

Nate is the only one supporting me. He’s shocked, but told me he’ll always stand beside me, whatever I do. Nate threatens to quit the band if they kick me out, and I beg him not to. I can’t take Ruby Riot down with me.

Fleur’s in the middle of all this; not only the situation, but witness to my defence. I’m claiming self-defence, protecting her from assault counts. She refuses to talk to me but agrees to speak to my lawyers; she’ll need to testify. I’m confused how she was in the situation with Shaun and why. Eventually there’s an explanation from her housemate, and I’m numbed further.

The plagiarism accusation was true. Fleur wasn’t
with
Shaun; how could I have believed she was? Why didn’t Fleur tell me? Ask for my support and help? I’d want to smack Shaun around, but would’ve respected the fact she doesn’t want my interference. If she’d asked, I would’ve supported her in any way she wanted. Fleur would never have chosen to do something so stupid.

Based on Fleur’s allegations and the physical evidence of his assault on her, Shaun’s suspended, and he won’t return to the university once he leaves hospital. Fleur’s disciplinary hearing is on hold while the whole, fucked-up mess is investigated.

I was pushed out when Fleur needed me.

Now I’ve screwed up, and she doesn’t want me.

Even worse, I’m back at Mum and Dad’s, disconnected from everybody but my family, as I lie low until my first court appearance.

****

FLEUR

As soon as I’m able, I leave London. The world fell apart when the plagiarism claim hit, but that’s nothing compared to the twisted world I’m pulled into.

‘Jealous star assaults girlfriend’s lover’ caused whispers and ridicule.

Then the truth came out.

‘Will Campbell’s girlfriend sexually assaulted – man hospitalised’.

The whispers grew louder. Was I raped? Cheating and caught in the act? Did I lie to save face and am responsible for Shaun’s injuries? I’d been seen with Shaun on numerous occasions.

The slut responsible for Will’s downfall, the happy go lucky joker of the band screwed over by a girl. Ruby Riot’s future threatened.

This picture painted of me isn’t his fault, but it hurts, and I’m exposed to an ugly side of life I never expected.

Will interrupted whatever Shaun intended to do. I’ll never know if Shaun’s assault was an attempt to frighten me, or if he would’ve raped me. My stomach turns over when I think about his hands on my skin, the smell of whisky on his breath as he tried to put his mouth on me. Why would Shaun threaten his own career the way he has? The man is sick and left bruises – on my body and my mind.

To top everything, not only do I need to report Shaun’s assault, but I’m also called as a witness to Will’s trial.

Will. As he beat Shaun, I was dazed by Shaun’s attack, but the viciousness of Will’s assault on Shaun frightened me. I’ve only ever seen violence on screen and that’s always been more than I could cope with watching.

I’m scared of Will. I replay the times he became antsy about the smallest things: people jostling me in queues, the time he thought Ethan had upset me again, the incident at the club. I never realised lack of control simmered beneath the laidback guy.

The warning bell sounds. What would Will do, if I ever upset him?

Chapter Forty

FLEUR

Will has an initial court date a couple of weeks later, and I attend. The retreating rumours fly again and the media swoops, snapping pictures of the pair of us individually entering court.

We haven’t spoken apart from a couple of texts. I asked him to leave me alone and Will respects this. Will’s pale face brightened when he saw me, but when I could barely look at him and only muttered a hello, his features drew into pained confusion again. As Will stepped away, my resolve crumbled, and I called after him and asked to meet afterwards.

Following the hearing, we find a quiet corner; I don’t want to be seen in public with Will. Not yet. His lawyer, a young, pretty woman loiters uncertainly until Will asks her to give us five minutes.

I tuck a strand of hair behind my ear and properly meet his eyes for the first time today. His brow knits at my scrutiny and the silence grows.

“You look different.” I indicate his smart, dark grey suit. Will looks out of place and awkward, not the confident guy I remember.

“Yeah. Respectable, apparently.” His mouth tips at the corner. “You dressed up too. You look like a librarian.”

I shake away his weird comment. “What do your lawyers think will happen?”

“Dunno. Good lawyers, first offence could be a fine, or suspended if they can get the charge reduced. Unless they decide to make an example of me. Guess I’ll find out in a few months.”

“That long?”

“Yeah, this is just a hearing to find out whether this is gonna be pushed up to Crown Court. Lucky me.”

Will’s making light of the situation; but we can’t escape the seriousness. His future is threatened; everything Will lives for could be snatched away, thanks partially to me.

“I’m sure your lawyers are good. You’ll be okay.”

“I hope so.”

“You can still work? The band I mean.”

“We’re going to the States after Christmas. Better make the most, if I get a criminal conviction, they might not let me into the country again.”

“Surely Jem has a few convictions? They let him in.”

Will laughs. “Never thought of that.”

I’m on pause. Next semester I’ll move on. I can’t face returning to UCL and have applied for a place at York. The interview with the history department there, explaining my decision to switch universities, should be interesting.

Shaun’s name isn’t mentioned; but he’s with us, the invisible third party who dragged Will and me into this mess. “They arrested Shaun for sexual assault too,” I say in a soft voice.

“I know. That helps, thank you.”

“No problem.”

Will reaches out and touches my cheek; and when I flinch, he draws his hand away. “Yeah, it is big. A hard thing for you to do.”

“The whole situation was my fault.”

Will’s eyes darken and his jaw pulls tight, a reminder of the man I saw that afternoon. “No. Never. Don’t even think that for a second.”

“No, not that he did that to me, but I put myself in the situation. Thought I could win against him.”

Will rests against the wall. “Why didn’t you tell me about the plagiarism charge? Or what he was doing?”

“You were busy and I didn’t want to hassle you.”

“Fleur, I had all the time in the world for you. Have. Still. I would’ve done anything to help.”

“Like what you did? Solve the problem with your fists?”

He huffs. “I don’t know. Whatever you wanted, I’d have done.”

The man in front of me is my Will; the guy who treated me with more love and respect than the men I thought would. But the violent part of him scares me.

What if Will’s protectiveness turns into an attempt to control me? Or if he turns on me one day. The thoughts niggled over the last couple of weeks. Anger was never an emotion Will showed unless it was a response to the mistreatment of those he loved, but he needs to control this or land himself in prison. What if it’s too late already?

The desire to reconnect is too strong. I wrap my arms around Will’s neck and bury my face into his shirt. My Will, whose scent pulls me back to the first time he held me, helping me home drunk. Immediately, Will’s strong arms tighten around my waist and he pushes his face into my hair.

“I missed you so bad,” he whispers. “Can we meet up later?”

I grip him tighter, fighting with my decision. My heart belongs to Will, but I’m confused. My life has turned upside down, and I’m facing uncertainty, dealing with the aftermath of a violent crime. Some nights I have flashbacks when I lie in bed, not only of Shaun’s hands on me, but the savagery from my gentle guy.

“I don’t know.”

This is unfair of me; I can’t make Will believe we’re okay. I step back. Will catches my hand and laces his fingers through mine. “Because of what Shaun did to you?”

“Because of everything. I’m scared of you.”

The expression on Will’s face follows me home that night. The hurt in his eyes, the genuine shock. He slumps against the wall in defeat.

“You never need to be scared of me. I will look after you, not hurt you.” He sighs. “Part of my trial preparation is to talk about why I did… this, controlling my anger. I don’t really know why though. I’m not an angry person. I just can’t stand seeing people hurt.”

“So you hurt others instead?”

“I’ve learnt my lesson. This shit has screwed my life up whether I go to jail or not. People look at me differently.” He strokes the back of my hand with his thumb. “If you can’t love the man who did this, I understand; but he’s not who I really am.”

“Maybe we can meet up again when things have calmed down?” I suggest. “When’s the trial?”

“March.” He touches my cheek and I flinch. “I can’t wait that long to see you again, Fleur.”

“I’m staying at my parents until after Christmas, and I don’t think it’s a good idea to visit me there.”

“I’m going to the States first week in January.”

Already our lives prevent us solving our situation.

“Maybe we can get together once you’re back?”

“This is so wrong,” says Will and grips my hand. “I’m sorry I fucked things up.”

I squeeze his fingers in return. “No, this situation isn’t all you; this was a perfect storm we were dragged into.”

“Yeah. S’pose.”

“I’m sorry, Will. I need time to work through some of this on my own before I can think about us. And you need to focus on yourself.”

He nods, but his eyes don’t agree. “Will you stay for coffee or lunch or something now?”

“I don’t think so. The press… Sorry. When are you back from the States?”

“March.”

“Oh. A long time.”

His eyes reflect my thoughts. Too long.

Will stiffens and crosses his arms, looking past me. I glance behind. Shaun walks across the hallway to the nearby court entrance. Involuntarily, I step closer to Will who steadies me and mutters something under his breath. Then he seizes hold of me. “I’m sorry this happened. Sorry I didn’t protect you. I love you and the thought of anything happening to you...”

Will’s intense. Too intense. Was he better off burying himself in random hook-ups than becoming solidly attached to a girl?

“I should go.” I pull away and fasten my knee-length black coat. I spot the concern on Will’s face. “My parents are over there talking to my lawyer. I’m okay.”

Will’s eyes glint for a moment before he seizes my head in both hands and pushes his mouth on mine. In surprise, I grab his hands and step back, pulling them away. “Don’t...” I breathe the words, flashing back to the afternoon in Shaun’s office. My heart rate peaked when I saw Will anyway; this hasn’t helped. “Don’t do that.”

“Shit!” He runs a hand through his hair and grips. “I didn’t think.”

I fight back the tears and tiptoe to place my mouth gently on his. Will touches my lips with his fingertip. “I’m gonna wait for you. Five days, five weeks, five years, I’ll wait.”

“I wouldn’t do that to you.”

“Don’t fade away, Fleur.”

“No.”

But I know I’m lying. We will fade, but I’ll never forget.