Shudder (Stitch Trilogy, Book 2) (11 page)

So far Phoenix couldn’t find any
arguments with what this Economist, Ben, had said. He certainly
seemed to genuinely believe what he was saying – even in her
befuddled state, that much was clear. The question was how this
ideal society he was envisioning would ever come to be.

“
Of course, P-Paragon is a
work in progress. Time was short. Do you remember the war, before
the outbreak? Countries were bombing each other left and right, the
global economy had broken down, food was scarce.”

He shook his head. “It was
a rough, rough world. It was almost like we – as an entire species
– had regressed. We had all this technology, all this education,
we
knew
we should
have been cooperating with each other for survival, but instead we
gave in to the primal urge to
fight
. It was needless, how much
death and destruction we subjected ourselves to.”

Phoenix closed her eyes and beseeched
her brain to remember. But she only got flashes in return –
headlines on the evening news blaring, “Terror in the Skies: Nuke
Dropped – 3 Million Dead,” the sharp pang of hunger in her gut,
sirens wailing and people rushing about her in a panic. No, she
couldn’t remember what had happened to her specifically, but she
didn’t doubt that what he recalled was true.

“
And then the outbreak
h-happened, and we took refuge here in Paragon, and we finally had
an opportunity – to leave the past behind and start
fresh
. We knew we didn’t
have all the answers, though, so that’s where the Ruling Class came
in.”

Ruling Class… something about that
felt familiar to Phoenix. Who was this Ruling Class?

The Economist sighed deeply. “Perhaps
that was our first m-mistake. But at the time, we thought
delegation was the right idea. There were so many decisions that
needed to be made – who would live where, how would resources be
distributed, who was responsible for doing the things that would
keep the settlement functioning, how would we regulate the
population to keep it sustainable, how would we make sure people
were happy and fulfilled and safe…

“
We just thought if we got
the right people – the smartest, most experienced, most educated
people – in the same room at the same time, they’d hash it out and
we’d have our answers. Then we could disband this upper echelon,
return them triumphantly to the rest of the people, and move on
with getting this society up and running.

“
Unfortunately, things
proved a bit more c-complicated than that. We’d thought that by
limiting the group to a team of very accomplished, logical, and
analytical-minded men, that we’d minimize the philosophical and
emotional digressions and be able to quickly focus on the solutions
that maximized utility across the board. But consensus proved
nearly impossible.

“
So we pushed them to work
faster, and they faltered. They were hungry and uncomfortable a-and
lonely – not ideal conditions for elevated thinking. So we did what
we could to alleviate their discomforts, to make it as easy as
possible for them to progress.”

Ben looked away for a moment before
meeting her eyes again. And when Phoenix looked back at his eyes,
she saw shame reflected deep within them.

“
We went too far, Phoenix,
and it’s something I’ll never forgive myself for allowing to
happen. We created a committee of fat bureaucrats, spoiled like
ill-disciplined children and too bloated by the importance of their
task to feel the urgency of what they needed to
accomplish.

“
And now here we are years
later, and we still haven’t figured much of anything out. But I
still have hope, Phoenix – I still believe in my heart that we will
find the answers.”

Again he gripped her hand, desperation
and hopefulness picking at his voice.

“
Even if it takes us
decades to get it right, future generations will look back on the
beginnings of Paragon as only a blip. One tiny b-blemish on
thousands of years of prosperity and peace.”

He sat back in his chair and breathed
deeply, the solemnity of his grand scheme settling over the
room.

Finally, he leaned in once more, a
bright smile overtaking his countenance.

“
D-doesn’t it all seem
worth it, Phoenix?”

12. JOURNEY

It seemed that the further she and
Isaac got from Paragon, the less Alessa felt like
herself.

The strange feelings that had begun
plaguing her in the woods had only intensified as they ventured
toward the city. And though she’d initially suspected that those
feelings were caused by the unnamed beasts that’d been stalking
them, she’d begun to question if it was actually something
more.

They hadn’t seen any signs of the
creatures in days, not since the morning Isaac had noticed the
footprints in the snow. That discovery still made Alessa shudder.
They’d found the prints circling the entire area, a horde of
distinctly human tracks, five toes and all.

But the terrible noises they’d heard
that night ringing through the dumpster had been anything but
human. Alessa still couldn’t figure out the odd mix of emotions
that had ransacked her body during that chilling encounter, the
fear and confusion and frustration and protectiveness and hunger
and rage. She could only imagine that it had something to do with
their assailants, but even when the sense of being stalked had
faded in the coming days, the feelings had persisted.

Granted, they’d changed somewhat the
past couple days, as she and Isaac had picked their way through an
abandoned suburban community much like the one she’d grown up in.
Now, more often than not, Alessa just felt sorrow.

But then again, maybe that was just
her own grief for the world she’d lost.

Trudging through a line of ramshackle
backyards, Alessa had stopped to dig through an old vegetable
garden and was just brushing off some potatoes and carrots she’d
gathered when Isaac sounded from the other side of the fence lining
the yard.

“
Less, come here!” he
called, a giddy note in his voice.

Alessa dropped her bounty and strolled
to the fence, peeking over the top on her tippy-toes.

Isaac was standing next to a massive
jungle gym, bedecked with an equally massive smile. “Is this not
the coolest swing set you’ve ever seen?”

“
Actually…” Alessa took a
couple steps back and launched herself toward the fence, running
her feet up the side and hauling herself over the top. She landed
with a satisfied grin. “That’s the same one I had growing
up.”

Alessa laughed at the envious look on
Isaac’s face and bounded over to the play set, plopping down on
what was always her favorite swing. The rubber seat curved against
her hips comfortingly as the jangle from the chains
subsided.

Isaac smiled and dashed up the ladder
to the fort, popping his head out the side to watch her.

Alessa knew he was worried about her –
he could tell that something was off, and he’d been going out of
his way the past couple days to distract her from whatever was
causing the distress she’d been feeling. Alessa certainly
appreciated the effort, but unfortunately none of Isaac’s charms
had really done the trick. Until now.

She kicked off the floor, pushing back
hard and pumping her legs forward, a cool wind whipping across her
face. The freedom of weightlessness and the rush of gravity
grappled over her body, and for a moment at least, she was
transported decades back to her carefree childhood, surrounded by
the laughter of a loving family.

But eventually the weight of reality
caught up with her and Alessa slowed, dragging her feet along the
frozen ground. Stopped, she reached one hand high up the chain and
leaned against the chill metal cable, smiling gratefully up at
Isaac. “Thank you for that.”

Isaac just grinned in
return.

Alessa looked away, glancing at the
empty seat on her right. Janie’s swing. She sighed deeply, missing
her sister and wondering for the millionth time if she was okay.
She wished Janie was here now, not only so that Alessa would know
she was safe from Paragon, but also so she’d have someone other
than Isaac to burden with her troubles. Alessa knew she hadn’t been
making things easy on him lately.

She was sure that Janie would have
some helpful theory about why Alessa kept feeling the things she
did, emotions that felt somehow foreign but still very real. She
always seemed to understand what Alessa was trying to say, even
when Alessa herself couldn’t quite articulate it. She would know
what Alessa was going through and find some way to help.

Isaac did his best, but it just wasn’t
the same. He was sensitive, yes, but still a guy underneath –
talking about feelings was something he instinctively shied away
from.

But Alessa didn’t have any choice but
to confront what she’d been feeling. She just wished she didn’t
have to feel so alone in it – and at the same time, she didn’t know
how to explain that to Isaac without hurting him. Especially since
she didn’t know what else he could do to help.

It didn’t make things any easier,
either, that she’d been plagued with thoughts of Joe in recent
days.

It seemed lately that whenever her
mind wandered, it would inevitably end up on Joe – his mischievous
smile, their silly inside jokes, his bravery with the rebellion,
and, of course, the butterflies she’d started getting in her
stomach whenever he was around.

It was weird. She hadn’t thought about
Joe this much in years, and she didn’t understand why he had just
now eclipsed her thoughts again. She felt guilty for spending so
much time dwelling on Joe when she probably should have been
working out her frustrations with Isaac. But it was nice to spend
time with Joe again, even if only in her head. She hadn’t realized
how much she missed him.

Isaac interrupted her thoughts. “So,
find anything good in that garden?”

Alessa looked up at the rich sapphire
of his eyes, and in an instant all thoughts of Joe were erased.
Isaac was doing his best, and he was doing it for her. She was
infinitely grateful to have his support.

“
Potatoes and carrots,”
she replied. “Not bad for a plot that hasn’t been tended in years.
You get anything in the neighbor’s house?”

Isaac looked away for a moment, and
Alessa knew he was hiding something. “Just a few cans. Oh, and some
matches.”

More likely than not, he’d probably
also found the remains of a family inside, but he would never tell
her if he could avoid it. Alessa couldn’t see the sense in pressing
him for the truth – he was obviously just trying to protect
her.

So far they’d been surprised to only
stumble across a few odd skeletons here and there, much to Alessa’s
relief. She’d expected to find a lot more evidence of the
outbreak’s scourge and was thankful that most of the homes they’d
encountered had been empty. She knew it was silly, but it made
scavenging for supplies feel less like stealing.

“
That’s good,” she
replied. Popping off the swing, she was startled by the sudden loss
of buoyancy, by the overwhelming sensation of being firmly rooted
to the ground once more. “Let me grab my pack and we can be
off.”

By the time the sun dipped toward the
skyline, Alessa and Isaac had wandered through two more vacant
neighborhoods, a derelict shopping center, and a downtown area that
could only be described as a ghost town.

The pervasive quiet shrouding the
once-vibrant village intensified the eerie feeling of being utterly
alone. If Alessa hadn’t known what happened, she might have
expected families and school kids and zipping cars around every
corner. Besides the overgrown shrubbery and the occasional smashed
storefront, everything seemed just in its place, waiting for its
inhabitants to come home.

It was devastating.

Isaac kicked an empty can which went
scuttling along the blacktop ahead, finally coming to rest at the
base of a large sign marking the entrance to an expansive lot
scattered with cars.

“
Mall Parking,” he read
aloud.

But what caught Alessa’s attention was
the carefully lettered banner crumpled beneath, one corner still
nailed to the bottom of the mall sign. She dug the other side out
of the snow and held it up, the distinctive red cross painted
across the tarp waving in the wind.

“
Relief Center,” she
added. Alessa gazed at Isaac intently. “Isaac, do you think we
found another quarantine zone?”

“
Only one way to know for
sure – let’s go check it out.”

The set off to investigate as dusk
settled into the sky.

“
Wow, look at all these
cars,” Isaac muttered as they crossed the crowded parking
lot.

Alessa’s hope intensified. “Joe was
into cars, right?” she asked. She’d gotten a sudden flash of him
working under the hood of an old red convertible.

“
Yeah, he bought himself
this beat up ole clunker for his 17th birthday, and he was intent
on fixing her up – ‘Swift Scarlet’ he used to call it,” he laughed.
Isaac pointed at one of the more recent model electric cars. “This
one would have brought us almost the whole way across the country
on a single charge, you know.” He nodded toward a classic car from
well before he and Alessa were born. “Even this old hybrid could
even have gotten us hundreds of miles away, if it had a little gas
in it. Too bad they’re all useless.”