Shrink to Fit (12 page)

U-Turn

Victoria
and the car were gone by the time Leah got into the parking lot. She dropped her arms to her sides. Great, now this was going to turn into another thing to argue about at home. How she was never allowed to speak to Alfreddo again. How her modeling days were over. She was anorexic. She had a disease.

Never mind that Victoria was the one who'd dragged her into this whole thing in the first place.

Plus, Leah was stranded in the rapidly emptying parking lot of the Chateau Marmont. There was only one person she could call, but she still wasn't ready to talk to him. Jay. He hadn't even attempted to make peace after their fight last week, which really hurt.
He'd
betrayed her and accused her of terrible things. How dare he be mad? If he didn't answer her call tonight, she would spring for a very expensive cab ride home. And expense it. To Alfreddo. Who'd run away like a scared little girl out of the room before Victoria said a word.

“Don't pick up. Don't pick up,” Leah muttered as she dialed Jay's cell phone.

“What's the word?” Jay answered. He sounded…exactly the same. Like nothing had changed.

“I need to be picked up,” Leah said hurriedly. “You busy?”

“Where are you?”

“Chateau Marmont.”

“Twenty minutes.” And he hung up.

How he was planning to get from Hollywood Hills to Sunset Boulevard in less than an hour on a Saturday night was beyond her. But true to his word, Jay's Mustang was in the driveway of the hotel just as Leah changed out of the black goddess gown and made it back into the lobby.

“Home, please.” Leah got into the passenger side without any explanation. She must've been a sight in jeans and a baby T-shirt with her evening makeup and hair still on.

“Was this that whole modeling thing?”

“Yeah.” Leah leaned forward and turned on the car stereo. She didn't want to make idle conversation, nor recount the entire evening. She especially didn't want to talk about her “eating habits” or how much more weight she'd lost.

“How did the photo shoot go?”

Leah drummed her fingers along with Akon. “Okay.”

“Where's your mom?”

“I don't know.” Leah turned the volume louder, hoping he would get the hint.

As they took the Hollywood Hills exit, Jay turned down the stereo. “Why are you mad at me?”

Leah ignored him and flipped the visor down to check her reflection. Her makeup was still fresh, her skin dewy. She wished she could look like this every day.

“You look great, you know. Like one of those MTV videos. Were any of the movie stars there at the same time as you?”

“Demi Moore's daughter. She's gorgeous, looks just like Demi.”

“And you look just like Victoria. You guys are like sisters.”

Leah was silent. She was
better
than Victoria. She was the New Victoria. She had a real career choice here. Being beautiful and wanted for a living. She could deal with this.

“Here we are.” Jay pulled into his driveway and turned off the ignition. “Look—”

Leah ignored Jay and got out of the car, a mix of relief and anger flowing through her. Victoria's car was not in the driveway and the lights in the house were all off. She hadn't known what Victoria's reaction would be. She had prepared herself for yelling and screaming. Altogether missing was not something Leah had anticipated.

“All set for the big game tomorrow?” Jay followed her up the front steps of her house.

“Yup,” Leah's teeth chattered. Winter had set in early in L.A. and she had a major case of goose bumps on her arms. She thought of the Snow Ball gown that hung on the back of her closet door. She hadn't asked anyone else. And Jay certainly hadn't asked her.

“You going to the dance?” Leah asked him, unlocking the door. “With Jennifer?”

“Yeah. We're going to get a limo with a few of the girls on the squad and their boyfriends.”

“Is that what you are now? A squad boyfriend?”

Jay laughed. “Nah.”

Leah glanced at him. Yeah, right. “Do you want to come in?”

“I better get home. I told my mom I had to return some library books. We've got this whole thing going on at home. A puja, religious thing.”

“Oh.” Leah felt the same familiar pang. They actually did stuff together as a family. They had rituals and traditions. Looked as though all Leah and Victoria had was a sleazy modeling agent in common.

A guy she didn't even like. And she was pretty sure after tonight Victoria didn't either.

The only person Leah could ever imagine herself with was standing just inches away from her. Alone on her porch, looking thoughtful with his deep brown eyes and wavy hair. He smelled like winter. Like caramel apples and cider. Still, after all this, he was the only one she wanted.

She had to go for it. This was her chance.

“What?” He gazed at her face.

She kissed him. It had been building for far too long. She couldn't spend another evening flirting with him on her front stoop and spend all night wondering what it all meant.

She entwined her fingers in his thick hair and wrapped her arms around his neck. She felt his hands around her waist. Hesitant. But they were there. It was every bit as amazing as she'd been fantasizing about. He did want it. His tongue wouldn't be tangling with hers the way it was unless he wanted it, too.

She broke away from the kiss first. “Come inside. Come upstairs.” She pulled him inside the house.

“Whoa.” Jay gently drew back. “Leah—”

She searched his eyes, looking for a shred of passion, desire. He had kissed her back. That had to mean something.

“I'm dating Jenn.”

“So?”

“So?” He smoothed his hair. “This isn't going to happen.”

“Why not?”

“Because it's not.”

“What? Why not? Why not me?”

“Because you're you. I mean, we have this thing, but, no. You and I can't—”

Leah pressed her fingers together to keep from throwing a punch at him.

You're you? You're an imposter. You're a fat girl acting like you belong.
“Leave.”

“Oh, come on. Let's talk about this. That was a mistake. We were being stupid.”

“You care about me?”

“Of course.”

“Love me, even?”

“Yes, I do.”

“Then why was that a mistake?”

“It didn't mean anything! You don't feel that way toward me, right? I know you don't. We're just friends.”

Friends? He was unwilling to explore this sizzling, alive thing between them because he needed a buddy to trade lines and basketball shots with?

Leah shoved him. Hard. She was still stronger, despite all the weight she had lost, and he fell a few steps back. “Hey.”

“Get out. Just get out of my house.”

“I am not leaving, until—”

“Why her? Why Jennifer? All she cares about is how she looks, how thin she is, how pretty she is. She doesn't challenge you!”

“She's not like that—”

“Yeah, she is! She's vain and selfish and stupid. She is
obsessed
with being thin.”

“No, Leah.” Jay stepped forward and lifted her chin, his fingers mingling with the tears flowing down her cheeks. “Jennifer is not the one with the problem. You are.”

“Jay!”

“I don't think you and I should see each other for a while. I think you should get some help. I don't want you to end up like Shazan.”

“I'm
not
her.”

“You will be soon.”

He closed the door behind him as he left.

Eyes Wide Shut

“Wake
up.”

No response from the still figure on the bed. Shazan's eyes remained closed even as Leah paced her room. She'd been pacing for five minutes and still no response.

“Wake up. Wake up.” Leah kneeled next to the bed and laid her hand on Shazan's flat stomach. “I need to talk to you right now. C'mon, babe. Wake up!”

“Who is that?” Shazan's voice was weak, and unfamiliar, but it was her.

Leah fell onto the bed, practically crushing Shazan. “Do you know how worried people are about you? Everyone at school is asking about you.”

“How did you get in here?”

“Girl, you think that whiny little Jiffy can keep me out? I don't think so.” Overjoyed, Leah snapped on the bedside light. She'd left it off since she'd snuck into the room, way before visiting hours.

“What's happened to you?”

“What do you mean?” Leah touched her cheekbones. She knew Shazan would notice how much weight she'd lost. How great she must look.

“Are you sick?”

“No! Why?”

“Your face. God, look at your fingers!” Shazan stared at Leah's fingers entwined with her own.

Leah snatched her hand away.
Not you, too. Jealous.
Even Shazan was jealous.

“I did the modeling thing, remember? The photographer said I have a real future.”

“What about basketball?”

“What about it?”

“How's the team? We gonna win the finals?”

“You bet.” Leah grinned. “The game is in three hours, but I had to see you.”

“Come back and tell me how it goes. You know, no one else has come by.” Shazan rested her head back into the mound of pillows and groaned.

“Bill has. I saw him the first day.”

Shazan turned her head. “He says I have a real problem.”

“Ignore him.”

“I think I do. I was completely addicted to those pills.”

Leah took her hand again, being careful to hide her fingers from Shazan. “It's over now. Don't think about it. You'll be home soon.”

Shazan smiled weakly. “You look really tired. Take a nap before the game. And come tell me how it went. I can't believe I'm missing it.”

Leah hugged her. “I promise to come back here tonight and tell you all about it. Get some rest.”

“Where have you been?” Allison Taylor shrieked as Leah entered the girls' locker room. “Coach is going to flip! You missed practice!”

Leah ignored her and started shuffling in place. Back and forth. Back and forth. Her shins were feeling much better, but she was just so tired. She felt as if she could fall asleep on her feet. And the room seemed to be spinning. She wished Allison would just shut the hell up.

“Hello?”

Leah turned around and snapped, “Just shut up, okay? What do you want?”

“Nothing. Jeez.” Allison stopped pulling her hair into a ponytail in midair. “What's with you? Low blood sugar?”

“Bitch,” Leah muttered, resuming her shuffling.

“What did you say?” Allison stepped into Leah's shuffle line. “What did you just say to me?”

“Nothing.” Leah rolled her eyes. “I have a game to win, if you remember. Get the—”

“With that attitude, no wonder everyone thinks you're crazy.” Allison smirked.

“You got something to say to me?” Leah rested a hand on her hip and took a threatening step forward.

Allison took it all in and laughed. “Please. The Ghetto Superstar routine isn't going to fly just because you're Miss Thang now. Warm up and get on the court.”

Leah was the last one on the court, and the coach pointedly ignored her during their final huddle.

“Okay, girls. This is it. Let's make history, huh? The scout from Cal is here. He's in the third row.”

Scout!

Leah glanced into the stands. Victoria was there. Front row, center. She sat alone, hands entwined, frowning. Leah looked past her. Where was the scout?

The cheerleaders took their place and Leah heard a familiar yell.

“Hey, wait up!” Jay jogged toward the court.

Leah broke into a smile. He came! He was there for her.

Instead of running toward her, Jay stopped at the cheerleaders and grabbed Jennifer. He dipped his head and kissed her. On the lips. In front of everyone. A cheer rose from the crowd.

As he stood up, Jay's eyes met Leah's. He held her gaze and turned away as if he didn't even know her.

Leah's cheeks burned. Point taken.

East L.A. and Sonoma lined up. Leah gazed at her opponents. She could take them. Easily. This was going to be so easy.

She would have good news for Shazan tonight.

The ref blew the whistle and instantly, Leah grabbed the basketball and started dribbling toward the other basket.

“Leah, you sure you're all right? You don't look too—” Leah heard the coach's voice.

“I gotta win this one, Coach. Don't worr—” Leah raised the basketball in the air and gasped. What were those twigs that were holding up the ball? Where were her powerful, muscular arms? These looked like a scarecrow's arms. The ball was just so heavy. She dropped it and instantly it was stolen by the other team's star forward.

No chance. She was going to win this game.

She leaped into the air to block the shot.

That's when everything started to spin.

She hit the floor on her side.

And heard a crack.

“Stop!” Leah yelled as loudly as she could. “Time-out!”

“Leah!” Her mother's voice sounded very far away.

Everything continued. Just like in the locker room. Leah reached out for something to hold on to, but all she caught was thin air.

Her eyes closed and she felt herself falling.