Shooting Stars (42 page)

Bartlet
still runs CXN. We talk every few weeks, and he always asks when I'm coming back to work for him. He still refuses to give me 70 percent.

Donna
and
Brian
get married. They have a full Vegas-style wedding in the City of Sin, complete with a dead Elvis and several of their personal paparazzi.

Elif
returned to the textile business once she moved back to Turkey. She found herself an amazing husband and has twins, a boy and a girl.

Georgia, Alexandra,
and
JoDeane
all moved back to Michigan. Georgia works remotely and is still a lawyer for the same uniform company; Alex just got married to her longtime boyfriend AJ, who we always loved, and she works as a nutritionist. JoDeane and Andy have two kids now, and she's still a nurse. We all remain very close friends.

Amy
married a musician, and the two of them live next door to our old apartment in the same Lyman Village Los Feliz complex. Amy is still an actor.

Adrian
and I never hook up, but we keep in touch. He invited Charlie and me to his poolside birthday party when baby was just two months old. Charlie was a popular guest but considerably upstaged by Adrian's date—a beautiful girl who swam and mingled through the party in her undies and nothing else. (Were they filming
Entourage
and we didn't know it?) After
Entourage
ended, Adrian moved to Brooklyn, the closest thing to Los Feliz on the East Coast.

Bo
moved back to Canada and we lost touch. I never told him. Of course, my life is no secret, especially now and especially for Charlie, and I'll keep reassessing “whether to tell” as my baby grows up. And I know if and when I decide to, people—like celebrities—are just not that hard to find.

Charlie and I
stayed in L.A. for the first three months of his life and the best three
ever
of mine. He was the ultimate pap-cover in his stroller when he helped me shoot an undercover job at just one month old. I shot Demi and Ashton (who were still together) and Bruce Willis at their daughter's graduation and made $1,400. After that, I retired my camera except for baby pictures…and the occasional celebrity who happened to cross my path.

The next six months—equally perfect—were spent at home in the South with family and friends. Then, Charlie and I moved to Colorado where I lived frugally off savings and residuals, loved my baby, and wrote this story. It's raw and leaves me open to judgment, but how could I not share it with the world? Hopefully you've gotten a glimpse into what it's like to shoot the stars.

And what about a man? Well, that's in the next book.

Oh, and
Kate Bosworth
got married. Simon says she still hates us, but I think I've forgiven her.

Bitch
–
noun

[slang] a celebrity who “makes” getting his or her photograph very difficult. [In my opinion a derogatory term, but what does my opinion matter.]

Usage: Celebs who are bitches too often, we leave alone.

Block
–
verb,
block-ed, block-ing

to prevent the shot of a pap using any object, commonly one's hand or body. Valets, security, boyfriends, and the like can block very effectively; paps often cannot since the blocker generally wants to shoot too. Always an act done
for
someone; one cannot block oneself. See
cover
.

Usage: “I was blocking Jennifer [so she could not get any shots] and that's why I was unable to take any pictures of Rihanna.”

to prevent a pap from following a vehicle by using another vehicle.

Usage: There is no point in following Victoria; Beckham's security will just block.

Blow
–
verb,
blew, blow-ing

[slang] to ditch.

Usage: Jessica blew me at the first intersection.

Bottom feeding
–
verb phrase

to troll around attempting to “pick off” (shoot) B-, C-, and D-list celebrities, whom no one really cares much about.

Usage: After Kristen “went bust,” late day bottom feeding was our only option.

Burn it
–
verb phrase,
burn-ed, burn-ing

to intentionally—usually because of lack of a better choice—get busted when shooting.

Usage: We knew we'd burn it on the first shot, so we got ready to run.

[The] Chase
–
noun phrase

[slang] the act of following a celebrity once he or she leaves a location. This term is typically, yet inappropriately, used by novice paps, as paps don't “chase”; they “follow” (except on Britney).

Usage: Carlos got a flat on the Britney chase yesterday.

Chirp
–
verb
, chirp-ed, chirp-ing

the cricket-like sound a Nextel makes when connecting to another Nextel; the act of Nextelling.

Usage: Chirp/beep/Nextel me when you're moving.

[The] City
–
noun phrase

also
town
. the cities of West Hollywood and Beverly Hills, a hubbub of celebrity action; more or less east of Santa Monica Boulevard where it hits the Beverly Hilton hotel, west of Fairfax Avenue at about the Grove, north of Wilshire Boulevard if in Beverly Hills or north of 3rd Street if in West Hollywood, and south of the Hollywood Hills and Sunset Boulevard.

Usage: J.R.: “You in the city? McC's at Bristol Farms.” Me: “I'm in town. I can make it.”

Cover
–
verb
, cover-ed, cover-ing

to prevent the shot of oneself by blocking one's face with one's hand or with an item held by oneself. Not to be confused with
blocking
, an act done by someone other than a celebrity-self.

Usage: Never try to outrun a pap. Just cover.

Doorstep
–
noun

near to the exterior of a celebrity's location, typically the celebrity's house, from where he or she will naturally depart.

Usage: Pink's [or just “Pink”] is a pleasant doorstep because there is always shade and never any traffic.

Verb
, doorstep-ped, doorstep-ping

the act of sitting outside a celebrity's house (or office, or a similar “home base”) waiting for the celebrity to leave in order to either follow or get an immediate shot.

Usage: I doorstepped Isla [Fisher] from two to five, but she never came out.

Down the barrel
–
Adverb phrase

into the lens of the camera.

Usage: Tabloids love it when celebs are staring down the barrel—it's like they're smiling just for us.

Flash
–
noun

[formal] the light affixed to the top of the camera which produces a sudden and brief burst when taking a picture.

Usage: I have a Canon 580 flash

Verb,
flash-ed, flash-ing

to photograph with the use of the camera flash.

Usage: I had to flash Garner. Hate that. It's so boorish when she's with her kids.

[The] Follow
–
noun phrase

the act of trailing a celebrity once he or she leaves a location, typically by car but also possible on foot.

Usage: Did you pick up the follow?

Gangbang
–
noun

a large group of paparazzi photographing a celebrity at the same time.

Usage: When Rodeo2 arrived, it turned into a gangbang.

Get
–
noun

the one to photograph.

Usage: Of the former TomKat, Tom was the harder get
.

Verb
, got, get-ting

to shoot and nail the shot.

Usage: I got Ryan Gosling today. SNAP!

Give it up
–
verb phrase, gave, giv-ing

to allow one's picture to be taken.

Usage: Does Natalie Portman give it up?

Hero
–
noun

an individual who takes it upon him-or herself to block or otherwise “protect” a celebrity.

Usage: A hero got in the way of my shot.

Hose
–
verb
, hos-ed, hos-ing

to take copious photographs of a celebrity.

Usage: I hosed Selena on Melrose.

In the bag
–
interjection

[British slang] An expression used when you are certain of success and often relaxed about the outcome.

Usage: Simon: “Rest easy, luv. Pics are in the bag.”

Job
–
noun

the story or celebrity a pap is working on.

Usage: “I'll fuck you up if you jump my job,” said Hooper from LMN.

Jump
–
verb
, jump-ed, jump-ing

to join another photographer who is already working on a story/celebrity, usually without permission.

Usage: Rodeo2 will always jump your job.

Leave it
–
verb phrase, left, leav-ing

to depart from a celebrity (a
story
) while that celebrity is still out.

Usage: J-Lo turned into a gangbang so we left it.

Local
–
noun

[British] a neighborhood pub, typically within walking distance to one's home.

Usage: The British paps met for a beer at their local.

Long
–
noun

[informal] a lens, long in length.

Usage: “My long's in my rugsack,” says Aaron.

Adj
.

[formal] a description of the length of a lens. On the high end, generally over 50mm and up to 600mm or more.

Usage: The 70– 200mm is the pap's go-to long lens
.

Adverb

[informal] a way of shooting, using a long lens.

Usage: Are we going short or long?

Nail it
–
verb phrase, nail-ed, nail-ing

to get the shot just right, artistically and technically, for publication.

Usage: They kissed, and I nailed it.

Nextel
–
noun

a Sprint walkie-talkie–type cell phone that most paps use to chat on and coordinate with. It makes a chipper, high-pitched “beep” before establishing a talk connection, and an ugly, low-pitched “beep” when the line is occupied.

Usage: “Who you been talking to? I've been trying to get through to your Nextel all morning.”

Pick up
–
verb phrase,
pick-ed up, pick-ing up

to run across and then join a celebrity (or the follow of a celebrity), either by spotting the celebrity (often in the car) or getting a tip.

Usage: I picked up Cameron on Melrose and followed her to the Chateau; Pick up the follow when it leaves Jamba Juice.

Post up
–
verb phrase,
post-ed up, post-ing up

to go somewhere and get ready to shoot.

Usage: He posted up behind the mannequins at Barneys.

Pull off
–
verb phrase
, pull-ed off, pull-ing off

to leave the location of a celebrity, or to intentionally let the celebrity go without following.

Usage: I pulled off the Lohan follow. With over twenty vehicles, it was too dangerous.

Reccy
–
noun

[British slang] reconnaissance.

Usage: Aaron's been doing drive-by reccys of Sandra's house every day because he wants to be the first to work her when she's back in town.

Savage
–
noun

a bad-mannered paparazzi who prefers gangbang short-and-flash style shooting to long-lens stealth operations.

Usage: “With ten savages waiting outside Barneys, I couldn't be bothered,” says Simon.

Verb,
savag-ed, savag-ing

to work a celebrity (usually in daily gangbangs) to the point of his or her exhaustion.

Usage: A celeb can be savaged for three months, four max, then it's done. No one can put up with more than that.

Short
–
noun

[informal] a lens, short in length.

Usage: Ideally a pap should have two camera bodies set up and ready for immediate use: a short and a long.

Adj.

[formal] a description of the length of a lens. On the low end, generally between 16mm and 28mm.

Usage: My short Tameron lens zooms down to twenty-eight [28mm] and doesn't cause distortion; though in a gangbang I can't compete with a sixteen or seventeen [16mm, 17mm] for a full-length.

Adverb

[informal] a way of shooting, using a short lens.

Usage: We tried to stay long, but when Rodeo2 got there, everyone went short.

Short-and-flash
–
noun

[informal] a short lens with an attached flash.

Usage: You always use short-and-flash at gangbangs.

Adverb

[informal] a way of shooting, using a short lens and a flash.

Usage: Simon says we shouldn't be too hard on Rodeo-ers because they don't know how to shoot any other way but short-and-flash.

Sit
–
noun

a period of sitting.

Usage: Britney's [doorstep] is always a long, hot sit.

Verb,
sat, sit-ting

to wait on a celebrity, generally at his or her doorstep.

Usage: I sat on Julia all day.

Stealth
–
noun

[formal] a clandestine act of moving without detection.