Authors: Rowan Coleman
We did some scenes from
Spotlight!
, each time swapping parts. We also did some scenes from other plays or films, some songs from various musicals and finally we were taught a dance routine. I was surprised at how good Henry was. I’d expected him to backchat and make smart comments, but he was really amazing. He literally acted the other kids off the floor. This made me think he wasn’t sticking to the rules and so when it came to my turn to rehearse a scene to act with him, me as Arial and him as Sebastian, I was surprised when he treated me to a wicked grin.
“Ruby Parker,” he said. “Finally someone I can mix it up with.”
“What does that mean?” I asked him suspiciously.
“It means that everyone else in this group is a lame
duck,” Henry told me. “I had to play it straight with them. But you know what you’re doing – we can have some fun.”
“I don’t want to have fun,” I said. “I want to learn my lines and say them and look like I mean it.”
“OK, well you can learn Arial’s lines if you like,” Henry said. “But I’ll be improvising.”
“You’re crazy,” I whispered urgently to him. “You’ll get us both kicked out.”
“Or we’ll impress them so much they’ll give us parts.”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” I said crossly. This seemed to make Henry laugh for some reason.
“I love English chicks,” he told me. “You are all so uptight.”
“Look, Henry, we’re going to learn these lines as they are written in this script and when it’s finally our time to perform, we’re going to say them. Don’t mess this up for me just because you don’t care what happens.” A few other kids looked over at us and I struggled to keep my voice down.
Henry smiled a long slow smile at me that made me feel even crosser. “I like you, Ruby Parker,” he said. “You’re feisty.”
“Feisty!” I barked out a laugh. “I am not feisty. I am just a girl who wants to get a part in a film. I’m not feisty
or uptight or a
chick
or anything. I’ve had a really bad day and you aren’t making it any better. So let’s get on with it, shall we?”
Henry bowed in the most irritatingly pretentious way and said, “Your wish is my command, my lady.”
Of course when we came to perform our scene in front of all the important people, including Ralph Fearson, Christina Darcy and Sean Rivers, Henry didn’t use one single line from the script. He improvised the whole thing. For about five seconds I tried to say my lines no matter what he said, but then I realised that would just make me look even more stupid. So I listened and reacted to what he said, and he listened and reacted to what I said. Somehow, by the end of our scene, we had more or less covered the same ground as the scene that had been written, except that instead of chewing pencils and looking at their clipboards and watches, Ralph and Christina were watching and listening closely to us. And I knew that I’d acted a hundred times better Henry’s way than I would have if I’d just recited the lines. As we finished our group applauded us, even if the grown-ups didn’t.
“Mr Dufault, Miss Parker – you don’t feel the need for scriptwriters then?” Mr Fearson asked us.
“We do, sir, we certainly do,” Henry said very politely.
“But we knew you’d heard that scene a hundred times over today so we thought we’d freshen it up for you.”
“Improvisation is not a requirement for the cast in this film, Mr Dufault,” Ralph Fearson said. “Concentration, ability to take direction and learn scripts
are.
”
“And what about being able to act?” I heard this girl’s voice say a few seconds before I realised it was mine.
My
voice coming out of
my
mouth. “Because we acted every single other kid off the stage just then. And yes, we can take direction and learn lines – I’ll recite the whole scene for you now if you like. But more important than any of that, we can live inside the characters. We don’t need a script to be the characters.”
The others in our group, including Kirsty O’Brien, took a sharp inward breath. Henry Dufault looked at me full of admiration and I noticed Sean clapping all by himself as he leant against the wall.
What was wrong with me? It seemed that my overworked brain couldn’t stand any more. It was determined to get me sacked so that I could leave Hollywood, go home and watch
Hollyoaks
for all eternity. Still I’d gone and said all of the rebellious words now, so there was no point in being miserable about it. I lifted my chin, pulled my shoulders back and waited to be sent home.
But all Ralph Fearson did was look at me very hard, drawing two very bushy brows together before writing something down on his notepad.
“OK, let’s move on. Sean’s here to act a scene with a couple of the girls. As you will all know by now, Sean Rivers has agreed to accept the role of Sebastian, which we are delighted about. It’s crucial to find him the right Arial, so he’s going to act the kiss scene with…Kirsty O’Brien and Ruby Parker.”
Several things happened to me at once. First of all, after feeling nothing but really rather friendly towards Kirsty, I suddenly became extremely jealous of her. Second I realised that I would have to kiss Sean on the lips, and even though I knew it was a stage kiss and didn’t mean anything, it would mean
everything
and I would immediately explode and die on the spot. And third, I realised that only Kirsty and I had been chosen out of all of the girls in the group to make out…I mean
try
out with Sean. I was cross, terrified and excited all at once.
“So you should know the song and the lines,” Christina told us. “Kirsty, you’re up first. Take your positions, please. And action!”
I sat and watched as sweet, pretty, nice Kirsty O’Brien made eyes at Sean while they sang together. I don’t think that I’d ever heard Sean really singing before. Of course
he had a great voice, and when he looked at Kirsty O’Brien, he really did look as if he loved her. I could tell that she felt it too because her cheeks went bright red.
It doesn’t mean anything,
I told myself as ‘Starlight Girl’ came to an end and they kissed. I remembered when I’d been so worried about kissing Justin de Souza, back when I used to be in
Kensington Heights.
I used to have a silly crush on Justin too and I’d got really, really worried about my first stage kiss –my first
ever
kiss of any kind! In the end though, when it came right down to it, it was just like kissing a bit of cardboard. I’d felt nothing at all. So I was hopeful that’s what it would be like with Sean too. After all, just because he was fabulously handsome and had recently told me he wished I was his girlfriend, and, oh, I seemed to be IN LOVE WITH HIM, why should it be any different? It was going to be fine.
“Ruby, you’re up,” Christina called over the applause of the group as she scribbled in her notebook.
I took a breath and looked at Sean. But instead of seeing him, I saw Sebastian, and instead of being me, Ruby Parker, the girl who gets herself into serious trouble, I was Arial, and everything was fine. I remembered all the lines, sang the song pretty nicely and was just gazing into Sebastian’s eyes, preparing to kiss him, when suddenly he wasn’t Sebastian any more, he was Sean.
My heart pounded, my tummy lurched and I forgot what I was supposed to say or do. All I could do was stare at him.
Sean sensed my hesitation and, smiling, leant towards me for the kiss, but I put my hand on his chest and pushed him back. Then, holding my gaze, Sean put one hand over mine and pulled me closer to him, whispering so quietly that no one but me could hear. “Don’t worry, Ruby, this isn’t me kissing you. It’s Sebastian.”
Then I felt the brush of his lips on mine for a moment and in a second the kiss was over.
The group was applauding again and Ralph and Christina were whispering in each other’s ears.
“You’re still holding my hand,” I told Sean, snatching it back. “And looking at me – you’re still looking at me.”
“I was thinking,” Sean said very quietly. “How amazing you are.”
“Right then!” Christina bellowed, breaking the moment into a thousand pieces. “We’ve finished for today. The procedure is the same as before. We’ll be calling your parents tonight to let them know if we want to see you again. Thanks for all of your hard work, and good luck! You can find your friends and
parents in the lobby. Please don’t leave until your parent or guardian has signed you out.”
The lobby was noisy and crowded, full of excited kids and their families. I spotted Mum and Anne-Marie over the far side of the room, and I could see Nydia making her way towards them. But before I could join them I felt a hand on my wrist. I turned around and found Sean.
“I need to talk to you,” Sean said.
“OK, at the house,” I said.
“No, now, before we go back. I need to explain some things,” Sean said. “Mum’s not here with the car yet. It will only take a couple of minutes. Please?”
I glanced over at where Anne-Marie, Nydia and Mum were now all together on the other side of the large room.
“OK,” I said, and I let Sean lead me a little way down an empty corridor that ran off the lobby.
“I don’t want us to fall out,” Sean said when we were more or less alone.
“Me neither,” I said.
“I’m sorry I’ve freaked you out, what with my dad and all those things I said last night.”
“Thanks,” I said. “Because you have freaked me out a LOT, Sean. And it doesn’t have to be like this. All you
have to do is tell your mum about your dad, tell your dad you don’t want the lead role in
Spotlight!
and tell Anne-Marie everything. Apart from that bit when you said you liked me. Don’t tell her that whatever you do.”
“But I do like you, Ruby,” Sean said.
“Sean, no, you don’t,” I told him.
“And I think if it wasn’t for Anne-Marie you’d like me too,” Sean repeated. “Wouldn’t you?”
I stared at him and thought of a hundred ways to tell him that I didn’t like him at all, but then all at once I felt tired out. Tired of fighting, rebelling, being feisty and, most of all, tired of lying.
“OK! OK!” I said, taking a step back. “OK yes, Sean, I do like you. I don’t know why now, after we’ve known each other for so long – but yes, I do, I do fancy you!”
“Ruby!”
I turned my head slowly to the side and saw Nydia and Anne-Marie staring at me and Sean. “Wait, it’s not what it looks like—” I began.
“I’m going to—” Anne-Marie launched herself at me, but was caught by Nydia, who was looking at me as if I were the most disgusting thing she had ever seen.
“No, wait,” I pleaded, holding out my upturned palms. “I was just about to tell Sean that it doesn’t
matter how I feel, I would never, ever do anything about it because you are my
friend
…”
“You’re
dead
!” Anne-Marie hissed at me. “All this time I thought you were such a good friend and you were making moves on my boyfriend!”
“No, I wasn’t…”
“She wasn’t,” Sean said. He looked at Anne-Marie. “I know you don’t need to know this right now, but this isn’t fair on Ruby. She wasn’t chasing me. I was chasing her. I like her, Anne-Marie.”
“You…?” Anne-Marie stared at Sean for a second. Then, her face bright red, she turned and fled back into the crowd.
Nydia marched up to me.
I
had never seen her so angry. “I
knew
something was going on yesterday,” she said. “Ruby! How could you?”
“I couldn’t! I haven’t! I don’t!” I tried to reassure her.
“You
never
treat a best friend this way,” Nydia said shaking her head. “You never treat another girl this way. I’m through with you, Ruby.”
As she walked away I stared at Sean. “Look what you’ve done,” I said. “You’ve made things a hundred times worse.”
“I’m sorry, Ruby, I was trying to help.”
I shook my head. “Now you and I have to go and find Mum and Nydia and Anne-Marie, and wait for your mum to pick us up. And then we all have to drive home together. And thanks to you, I don’t have my two best friends any more.”
“You’ve got me,” Sean said with a miserable half-smile.
I scowled at him. “Yes,” I said. “That’s the problem.”
Ruby
Just to make things clear, we are not speaking to you any more. We aren’t friends any more either. We’ll be polite to you in front of your mum and at the studio, but we both think that you are a horrible person. We aren’t speaking to Sean either.
Nydia and Anne-Marie
I found the folded note on my pillow when I went up to my room after we got back from the studio. At least I assume it started out life on my pillow. When I found it, David had it firmly clenched between his paws and was chewing enthusiastically on the corner. I don’t know how Nydia got it there so quickly. She and Anne-Marie must have written it in the car while I wasn’t looking, which wouldn’t have been that hard because I spent the whole time staring out of the window wishing I could magic myself back an hour and change everything. However no amount of wishing changed anything (I am starting to learn that hardly ever happens) and there the note was. A few lines on a bit of paper that confirmed my two best friends hated me.
I couldn’t blame them, I hated me. After all, even if I hadn’t exactly gone after Sean I’d thought about him and had funny feelings about him. Plus I hadn’t told anyone about his secret meetings with his dad, which I was fairly sure were a really bad idea.
Just at that moment there was a quiet knock on the door. I hoped it was Nydia coming to say that they’d thought it over and they wanted to make up.
“Come in?” I said nervously.
It was Sean.
“Go away,” I hissed furiously.
“I am, I am going away,” Sean said. “I’m going out to meet Dad for a burger. I’ve told Mom I’m having an early night. If she finds out I’m not in bed and asks, will you say that I’m out with Danny?”
“Haven’t you got me into enough trouble today?” I asked him, exasperated.
Sean’s look was pleading. “Please, Ruby, things are going really great with Dad. We’re getting on so much better. I’m nearly ready to tell Mom. I just need to make sure that we’re really OK first.”
I shook my head. “He’s your dad, Sean – you shouldn’t have to make sure whether or not he’s OK with you. He should just be OK with you whatever – whether you’re a film star or not. Talking of which, when are you going to tell the studio that you don’t want to play Sebastian?”
“Really soon,” Sean said. “I just need a bit longer with Dad. Honestly it’s different now, Ruby, and he’s so pleased that I’ve taken the part. I don’t want to let him down.”
“Of course he’s pleased! He thinks you’re going to make him millions of dollars again – it’s not because he loves you or cares about you,” I snapped before I could shut my mouth. “Sean…I’m sorry, I’m just really worried about you.”
“That’s not true,” he said quietly. “Dad really cares about me.”
“I hope so,” I said, hugging my pillow hard. “Look, go. I’ll cover for you, OK?”
And then everything that happened that day hit me like a ton of bricks and I cried and cried. I just couldn’t believe that my best friends really hated me and that everything was going so wrong when it should have been feeling so right. Maybe it was Hollywood. Maybe I would always be miserable here.
“Ruby?”
I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I remember was my mum’s voice gently calling me. “Ruby, wake up, love.”
I rolled over and pushed my hair out of my eyes, squinting at her.
“You’ve been crying,” Mum said with concern. “Anne-Marie is still very upset too. She and Nydia have been out by the pool in a huddle since we got back. Why are you stuck up here? Is everything OK?”
I sighed and wished I could tell my mum the real reason I was upset, but when I thought about it there wasn’t a single thing on my list that she would either understand or be able to fix. She wouldn’t get why Sean had to see his dad in secret and lie to his mum about everything, including wanting to be Sebastian in
Spotlight!
And she wouldn’t understand that Nydia, Anne-Marie and I had fallen out because they thought I was trying to go out with Sean even though I wasn’t, even though I did like him. So although I’d promised that now I’d always tell my mum everything, I decided not to tell her this. After all, there was nothing she could do and she would only worry.
“I’m just tired,” I said. “It’s been a really, really long day.”
Mum smiled and hugged me. “I know. Sean’s already asleep, poor lad, and it’s going to be another long day tomorrow! They’ve called you back for the final round of auditions!”
“Really?” I sat up, feeling almost happy for a second. Then I remembered that everybody hated me and I was all alone and I lay down again.
“What about Nydia?” I asked.
“Yes, Nydia too,” Mum told me. “Ruby, you are really close to being in a Hollywood movie again.”
I nodded thoughtfully and Mum must have been able to see the worry in my face.
“Listen, Ruby,” she said, putting her hand over mine. “Are you ready for this? Because if it’s all too much pressure I’ll understand. You know that this film is going to be massive. And if you get a part you won’t just be Ruby Parker girl/actress/singer any more. You’ll be Ruby Parker Superstar.”
I looked up at my ceiling and tried to imagine what that would mean. It still seemed so impossible and far away that I couldn’t really understand it. And despite everything that had happened today, I knew I still wanted the part of Arial. I knew I wanted it even though Nydia really wanted it too. It was the best thing happening to me at the moment and I wasn’t going to give up trying to get it.
“I’m ready,” I said firmly. “Besides I know that whatever happens, and even if one day I win an Oscar, you’ll always make sure that I’m still just Ruby Parker girl.”
“That’s true,” Mum said. “Do you want to come down for something to eat?”
I shook my head. “I’m going to go back to sleep,” I yawned.
“I’ll bring you up a sandwich.” Mum never believed that I wasn’t hungry and she was usually right.
“Listen, Ruby, I’m sure you’ll make up with Anne-Marie and Nydia soon. I’ve never known you three to be apart for too long. And as far as Sean is concerned I know you’ll do the right thing, you always do. And you can talk to me you know I was young once – I can still just about remember being your age if I concentrate really,
really
hard.”
I was speechless as Mum kissed me on the forehead and walked out of the door. Even when I didn’t tell her anything, she still knew everything. Freaky.
I was full up with toasted cheese sandwiches and fast asleep when I was woken by tapping at my window. I lay there for a moment in the dark, trying to work out what was going on. David must have crept on to my bed while I was asleep because he sprang into life at my side and bared his teeth at the window.
It was a full moon outside and the sky was a light orange colour because of the millions of city lights that blazed in the valley, but even so I was scared as David and I tiptoed towards the window, him growling and trembling all at once. Cautiously I opened it and peeped out. A stone about the side of a large raisin hit me on the cheek.
“Ouch!” I said loudly, before remembering I was scared.
“Ruby, it’s me.” I peered over the sill and saw Sean standing in the shadows. “It’s later than I thought and the door’s locked. I’m guessing that Mom hasn’t missed me, but it looks like everyone is asleep and I can’t get in without tripping the alarm.”
“Everyone is asleep, except me apparently,” I said testily.
“Can you sneak down and let me in?” Sean whispered.
“Can’t you just climb up a drain pipe,” I hissed back.
“There are no drain pipes,” Sean told me. “Please, Ruby, or I’ll have to stay out here all night and come up with an elaborate sleepwalking story.”
“That works for me,” I said. I was about to pull my head in and slam the window when I realised that I couldn’t do that to a friend, even if just at the moment he was a particularly irritating one. “Go round to the front,” I told him.
I had to shut David in my room because I knew that he’d get all excited by a midnight adventure and start barking, which would wake the whole house up. He had a surprisingly loud bark for such a small dog. He whimpered a bit as I closed the door on him, but I knew that after a couple of seconds he’d get back into bed and curl up on the warm spot that I had just left.
The house was quiet; I looked at Jeremy’s grandfather clock that stood at the top of the stairs. It was past midnight – Sean really had stayed out late. I thought about the last time I had snuck down the stairs when I was “borrowing” my mum’s credit card to pay for my secret flight back to London. It had been much riskier then – Mum and Jeremy had been up and sitting only a few metres way from me as I crawled to delve into her handbag. But even though everyone in the house was fast asleep I felt much more scared this time. Maybe because I knew that Sean was on the other side of the door.
“Thanks,” Sean said as I unlatched the door and quickly reset the alarm.
“That’s OK,” I whispered. “Night then.”
“Ruby, stay a while…?” Sean asked.
“Stay? Why?”
“Come through to the kitchen,” Sean said. “We can have a midnight snack.”
“I’m not hungry,” I lied. But the cheese toasties hadn’t filled me up and the sound of my tummy rumbling was almost louder than the burglar alarm would have been.
“Come on, I can hear that from here,” Sean joked. Furiously I followed him. Anyway I really fancied some cereal.
“So how was it?” I asked him as he passed me the milk and I sloshed it on to my Cheerios.
“It was great, really great!” Sean was bright eyed and happy. “We had a burger and then we went bowling. And Dad said he was so proud of me and how much he missed me.”
“Really,” I said. “And did you tell him that you were ready to pull out of the film? You know, before they start shooting it and wasting hundreds of millions of dollars.”
“He said that I hadn’t signed a contract yet, and that as long as I hadn’t I can do what I like. He even said he’d read the contract for me if I wanted.”
“Did he mention your reputation?” I asked him. “Sean, maybe you don’t want to be a film star now, but one day you might change your mind – and then everyone’s going to wonder if you’ll pull out at the last minute again.”
“I hadn’t thought of that,” Sean said, looking worried.
“No, and I don’t think your dad has either,” I said. “I think he thinks you won’t pull out of the film at all.”
“Well, maybe I won’t,” Sean said defiantly.
“Great!” I exclaimed. “But why? Because it’s what you want, or because it’s what your dad wants?”
“I’ve really enjoyed the last few days,” Sean told me. “And I
really
enjoyed acting with you today. We don’t get to do that enough.”
“Yes, well,” I said, suddenly finding my Cheerios extremely interesting.
“Look,” Sean slid a little closer to me on the counter. “I know now is not a good time for you and me. I know we have a million other things we have to deal with, but hopefully one day that will change. I hope you will still like me then, because I know I’ll still like you.”
I made myself look into his blue eyes and for just a second it seemed like a terribly good idea to kiss him. Then Anne-Marie turned up at the kitchen door.
“How sweet,” she said, crossing her arms. “Is this where you have your secret meetings? No wonder you’re looking so rough, Ruby; you’re not getting enough sleep.”
“Anne-Marie – there is nothing going on between me and Sean,” I tried explaining.
“Yes, it looks like it,” she replied sharply. “Apart from the whole having your lips two millimetres apart thing.”
“That was…” I struggled. “That did look bad, but please, Annie, I would never,
ever
go behind your back with your boyfriend. I wouldn’t do that!”
Anne-Marie shook her head. “Don’t call me Annie,” she said. She went to the fridge and poured herself a glass of juice. “I’ll be out of your hair soon. I finally got through to Dad this evening. It turns out that he’s going to be in LA tomorrow and then he’s flying to London for two days. I’m going back with him. There’s no point in me being here any more.”
“Can’t your dad talk to the studio, get them to give you another chance?” I asked Anne-Marie. After all her dad was a famous movie producer.
Anne-Marie took a swig of her juice. “He could, but like I told you earlier today, back when I thought you actually cared about what I felt, I don’t want any special favours. And besides this is the last place I want to be.”
“Annie,” Sean began. “Let’s talk about this.”
“I said, don’t call me Annie!” Anne-Marie snapped, with tears brimming in her eyes, and she ran off back upstairs.
“We suck,” I said, miserably pushing the bowl of Cheerios away from me.
“You don’t,” Sean said. “I do. All of this is my fault.”
“I wish it was,” I said, looking at him. “But it’s a bit me too. Sean, I can’t go out with you now or probably ever. Not if I want to get my friends back, and I
do.
I
need
my friends.”
“OK,” Sean said sadly. “But we’re still friends too, aren’t we?”
“Of course,” I said. “Although not for much longer if you keep making me get up in the middle of the night to let you in.”