SHIVER (13 page)

“Because of Earl’s death?”

Time for a change of subject. Maybe her idea of quiet and enjoying the scenery had more merit than he’d first given it credit. He didn’t want to bring Earl into their conversation. Anything to do with his father would ruin their day and any progress he might have made with Raven. “That and other things. I’ve had some life-altering experiences lately.” He laughed, knowing the sound came out sarcastic but he couldn’t help himself. “Stepping into a bear trap being one of them. Nothing like facing your own mortality to help you reevaluate your life.”

“So what have you learned?”

“I’ll let you know when I figure it out.” He wasn’t ready to share what he’d come up with so far. And he knew without a doubt she wasn’t ready to hear it. He noticed they were getting closer to Fairbanks, coming up on Hagelbarger. “Do you think we could pull in for a minute?”

“Sure.” She slowed and hit her blinker.

“I was in a hurry when I landed at the airport. I only made one stop before heading to Chatanika.”

“Food Factory?”

He laughed. “You do know me well.” The words, while said in jest, seemed to sober her.

She turned onto Hagelbarger’s scenic overlook, one of Fairbanks’ prime make out places. Hills sat protective as Fairbanks nestled contently in the valley. In the winter, the Hagelbarger Lookout was the perfect place to watch the splay of Northern Lights dance across the sky. During the day, Fairbanks sparkled like a winter jewel. The University of Alaska stood on the hill to the east, the airport to the west, and the Chena River like a frozen ribbon meandering sleepily through town.

“You’ve missed it, haven’t you?” Raven asked.

He nodded. A lump in his throat. “I never thought I would. Hell, a few days ago this is the last place I ever wanted to be again.” He turned from the view and looked at her. “I’ve found there are things here that I’ve missed more than I realized.”

She couldn’t hold his gaze and glanced away, put the Suburban in gear, and merged back onto the Steese. They traveled in silence, Aidan taking in the sights, an ache in his chest.

Raven turned onto Airport Way, stopping at every stoplight on the way to the doctor’s office. Pulling into the Physician’s Plaza, she turned off the engine, jumped out of the SUV, and grabbed his crutches from the back.

He’d obviously said the wrong thing when they’d been overlooking the city. He’d pushed too hard, too fast. Just as he had last night. He’d done the same things with Sonya, and look how that had turned out. Time to learn from his mistakes. He opened his door as she came around with the crutches. The cold slapped him. With the sun shining so brightly, reflecting on the snow, it seemed warmer than it was. While they were in town, he needed to shop for a better winter coat.

“Thanks.” He took the crutches from her. She held the door open until he made his way clear, then she rushed to open the doctor’s door.

He stopped and looked down at her before entering. “I’m sorry if what I said upset you. But it was the truth.”

She tightened her lips but didn’t respond. He waited a heartbeat then entered the doctor’s office. Raven took control of the doctor visit, going up to the counter and signing him in. It didn’t take long before a nurse called his name. He stood, while Raven stayed seated.

“Are you coming?” he asked.

“No.” She looked up at him, her eyes hard. “I’m not your friend, your family or your wife. I’ll wait out here.”

The words stabbed at him repeatedly. Repetitive, like a bad record inside his head, each run-through tearing fibers from his heart. She was right. She was none of those things.

And he wished she were all of them.

C
HAPTER
N
INE

Raven thumbed through a magazine. Her vision blurred as she blinked back tears. The hurt on Aidan’s face when she’d thrown those hurtful words at him, cut her deep. Why had she done it? Because he’d said he’d missed her?

She closed her eyes and laid her head back against the waiting room wall. What if he needed her in the exam room? To hold his crutches? Hold his hand if the leg was broken and had to be reset? By now the bone would have tried to heal, built a bridge that would have to be broken in order for the leg to heal right. They’d give him a shot to help with the pain, but…

No more buts. She’d needed to reestablish boundaries. Since she’d done such a great job of busting them down last night when she’d been moaning under him and grabbing his tight backside. She mentally groaned. She was going to kill Lynx for making her drive Aidan to town. They’d had a deal. She didn’t care about some damn injured eagle. Well, she did, but why did it have to be injured on the day the roads were finally cleared to travel to town? Was it fate? Was fate against her now too?

The door to the inner exam rooms opened and out hobbled Aidan, carrying the crutches. His leg was strapped in a walking medical boot, his face pinched with pain.

“What did the doctor say?” she asked, getting to her feet.

He reached in his pocket for his wallet, and without answering, headed to the counter and took care of the bill. She waited patiently, arms folded across her chest.

Aidan finished and, giving Raven only a glance, walked toward the exit. She followed. He stopped outside the back doors of the Suburban. She unlocked it and kept her lips buttoned shut. Obviously he wasn’t going to tell her what the doctor had said. Payback for not going into the exam room with him or because her thoughtless, spiteful words had hurt him? She didn’t like the idea that she had hurt him. She wasn’t a mean person. Just a scared one. Scared over what Aidan was making her feel. Memories that he’d resurrected.

She climbed into the Suburban and started it up, waiting for the idle to kick down before putting it in gear. She glanced at him. He stared out the windshield into the frozen trees. “I’m sorry,” she said. There was no response from him, other than the flexing of his jaw. “I didn’t mean to say those things.”

He turned to her, his eyes devoid of emotion. “Yes, you did. And you were right.”

Being right didn’t feel very good. “Are you going to be okay?” She didn’t know if she was asking about his leg or his feelings.

“I’ll be fine.” He turned back to the view out of the frosty window.

Not knowing what else to say, and afraid that whatever she said would make the situation worse, she put the vehicle in reverse and backed out of the parking lot. Since he’d walked out of the doctor’s office without using his crutches, she could only assume his leg wasn’t broken. But the medical boot was a concern. What did that mean? She’d also noticed the pain lines bracketing his mouth. Whatever had happened in that exam room hadn’t been comfortable for Aidan.

She turned back onto Airport Way and headed toward the Arctic Tern located in a cute, rustic log cabin near Pioneer Park.

“What happened to Alaskaland?” Aidan frowned looking at the large sign designating the entrance to one of the town’s main tourist attractions.

“A few years ago the city overhauled the park and changed the name.”

“What was wrong with the old name?”

“We’d all like to know that.” She pulled into the Arctic Tern’s well-cleared and well-kept parking lot and turned off the engine. It was only ten below, and as she didn’t plan to stay long, she didn’t bother plugging the SUV into the electrical outlets in front of each parking space.

Her sister ran a tight and profitable business. A wide-covered porch with benches graced the entrance. In summer, Tern would fill the area with overflowing flower pots, both hanging and squatting. Now, being November, Christmas decorations were already in place. Artificial Christmas trees strung with bright white lights stood as sentries at the doors, while glowing wired reindeer moved their heads to a timer. Soft holiday music piped through the speakers.

Raven opened the back of the Suburban and grabbed the first box. She turned and bumped into Aidan, almost dropping the heavy pottery. Pieces rattled as the box jostled.

“Sorry.” He took the box out of her hands, preventing her from dropping it to the icy ground. “Let me help.”

“I don’t want to take the chance of breaking anything.” She scowled, mentally going through what she had in this box and hoping she hadn’t already done just that. Handles on mugs and pitchers were very breakable, and she had many of those in this delivery. “What about your leg?”

“It’ll be fine. Don’t worry, I won’t break anything.” He muscled past her with the box.

She didn’t have much choice except to let him carry the box. She’d done that last night, and look at what had almost happened. “Fine. But you break it, you’ve bought it.” She grabbed another box and led the way.

He followed her up the wooden steps to the glass-etched door. Tern must have seen them, for she was there at the door opening it for them.

“I didn’t think I was going to see you until the end of the week,” she said, when Raven entered.

“I had to come into town,” Raven huffed out. She needed to put the box down before she dropped it herself. She also needed to pack them lighter. “Didn’t see the reason to waste a trip.” She went around the sales counter and through the door to the storeroom, setting the box on the large table in the center of the small room. Aidan did the same. She took one look at him and noticed the sweat on his forehead, the pain lines deeper around his mouth.

Sure he could handle it
. Idiot.

“Take a seat before you fall down.” She pulled out a folding chair. Aidan fell into it. “I told you they were heavy.”

“I didn’t think they were that heavy. How did you carry that?”

“I’ve been doing it for years, and I didn’t just step into a bear trap and break a fever,” she snapped back.

Tern entered the room, sucking in her breath when she recognized Aidan. “You have a lot of balls showing up here.” She swivelled toward Raven and demanded, “What the hell are you doing with
him
?”

“Didn’t Mom call you?” She really didn’t want to go into explanations.

“Yeah, but it was busy so I let her call go to voicemail.”

“Great.” Raven sighed. “Earl’s dead. Aidan returned to take care of his things, stepped into a bear trap, Fox saved his life, we’re here seeing the doctor.”

“Hey ya, Tern. It’s really good to see you too.” Aidan pointed to Tern’s hair. “I like the red. Very becoming.”

Tern frowned and looked from Aidan to Raven. “Can I talk to you please? Alone.” Tern grabbed Raven’s arm and pulled her out of the storeroom, across the sales floor, and right out of the building to the parking lot. She must have been steaming, because she marched to the back of the Suburban without stopping for a coat. her only protection against the cold was a thin silk teal blouse. A very good color for her, which complemented her plum skirt and black killer knee-high boots.

“What are
you
doing with him?” she asked, grabbing one of the boxes.

“
Your
brother’s fault.” Raven picked up another box, explaining how she’d come to town with Aidan in tow, as they returned to the storeroom.

Aidan was still sitting where she’d left him, but he was holding a tea pot in his hand. “This is beautiful, Raven. You made this?”

“Of course she did,” Tern said. “She’s an artist.” Tern went to grab it from his hands, but Aidan pulled back, holding the tea pot next to his chest.

“No, I want this.”

“What?” Raven asked.

“I want to buy it.”

“You can’t buy it.”

“Why not? Isn’t it for sale? Aren’t these all for sale?”

“Y-yes,” she sputtered. But she didn’t want Aidan buying her tea pot. She loved to make tea pots, but they were labor intensive. A lot of time and energy, thought and love went into each one. This particular one was a favorite. The glaze had turned out exceptionally well, running into greens and purples over a midnight blue base. To her it was like the dancing of the Northern Lights.

“Then I want to buy it.” He leaned over, looking through the items in the box. “Do you have any mugs that go with it?”

She did, but didn’t want to say so. The thought of Aidan drinking out of one of her mugs, making tea in her tea pot when he left here and returned home, disturbed her.

Tern, always willing to make a sale, rummaged through the box and produced the four matching mugs.

“I just need the one. There’s only me.”

“Sorry, they come as a set,” Tern said. “If you want one, you’ll have to buy all four.”

That wasn’t true. Each mug was individually priced, and Raven bet Aidan knew it.

“Done.” He pulled out his wallet. “Can you wrap them up for me?”

“Of course.” Tern took his credit card and the tea pot. “Want to grab those mugs for me, Raven?” While it was a question, Tern wasn’t excepting an answer.

Raven gave Aidan a confused look before she gathered up the mugs and followed her sister to the counter to wrap them up.

“At least you got a great sale out of taking him to the doctor.” Tern nudged her with an elbow. “More than covered your time and gas money.”

Raven didn’t like it when she saw the total Tern had rung up. “Give him the friends and family discount for buying the set.”