SHIVER: 13 Sexy Tales of Humor and Horror (47 page)

“Yes,” Mel said with a blush. “I need to share the backstory first.”

“I’m all ears for this one.” I stuffed the last bite of my chicken salad into my mouth.

“You know I work as a nurse with breast cancer patients, right?” Mel asked, and I nodded back at her.

“Well, every October around Halloween the nurses in our unit put together a fundraiser for breast cancer awareness. We had no clue what do this year? Our creative juices weren’t flowing, and we wanted something fun and different.”

“I remember you doing these in the past.” I stopped our server as she walked by our table. “Can we have two coffees, please?”

“And a couple of those mega size chocolate chip cookies?” Skinny Minnie Mel added. I cringed knowing that I had to be careful with what I ate. I sure as hell didn’t want to drudge up the long buried Fatty Patty.

“Coming right up.” The server wrote on her pad. “I’ll make sure those cookies are nice and warm too.”

“Great,” I whined. “I need to start up at a gym.”

“You should go where my brother does. It seems to have kept him in good shape.” I side eyed Mel, because her face had “matchmaker” written all over it.

“Okay, I’ll lay off the Thomas stuff, but I think he’s got the hots for you. Bailey sure seemed to think so.”

“You know I’ve always crushed on your brother and I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that I’m excited to hear he was talking about me. But enough about him for right now, you need to tell me your Peckers’ story.”

“You know he’s single right?” A sly smile slid across Mel’s face.

“I don’t know anything about him now.” Well that’s a lie. I know he looks fucking hot in his police uniform and I’d willingly volunteer for a full body search. Plus he can also sing like Frank Sinatra. “Well he can sure sing.”

“You heard him sing?” Mel said while deadpanning me.

“He might have crooned a line or two the other night.” I trailed off.

“I need details on what the ‘other night’ means. Nothing spared.”

“After you tell me about your Peckers.” We looked at each other and giggled. Our conversation was as scattered as my hair was the night I met Thomas, basically all over the place.

“Okay.” Mel took a deep breath. “The nurses and I went out for drinks after a shift to plan. We started talking about all the local places that cater to men looking at woman’s boobs. A new place just opened up called Twin Peaks.”

“You know what men say about those places. They go there for the wings.” I scoffed knowing that was a lie to cover their pervy asses.

“And you know what’s attached to wings?”

“Breasts.” We chimed in a little too loudly. The tables around us went silent as we buried our heads and snickered.

“Back to the story,” Mel took a sip of our just arrived coffee. “I said that we needed to have a place where we could go to ogle men. Have them take our Cosmopolitan and Cobb Salad orders while we checked out
their
packages.”

“I like this idea.” I grabbed off a morsel of the cookie in front of me and let the melted chocolate spread over my tongue. “These are crack.”

“Why do you think I ordered them?” Mel quipped.

“So you were at the ogling men part.” I twirled my hand signaling her to go on as I began morseling my way through the cookie. I felt less guilty tearing it off in little pieces than inhaling it.

“I thought we should think of a cutesy name for the male version of booby sports bars, and voilà Peckers was born or hatched.” She sat back and straightened her shoulders.

“I think it’s brilliant. So you have the name, now what?”

“We are taking over Mickey’s Bar tomorrow night. It will be called Peckers for the evening. A local company even donated money for us to buy a neon sign for outside. Also, it’s Friday and Halloween Eve. We’re hoping to find dates for Halloween amongst the half-clothed wait staff,” Mel said with a wink.

“Half-clothed?” I asked, realizing Thomas was going to be at the event. I found myself getting rather squirmy in my seat.

“Yes, we’ve asked men from all professions to come help us with the fundraiser. They will be serving drinks and food with the assistance of some of the regular employees. All the men will be shirtless. It’s the one requirement.” I liked where Mel was taking this.

“The doctors will have stethoscopes around their necks. Lawyers and businessmen will have ties. Firemen will have a small hose.” Mel stopped and wiggled her brow. “Those who do manual labor will wear their tool belts. I think I’m forgetting one.”

“You sure as hell are. What about the policemen?” I had no shame at this point. I wanted to know about Thomas’ Peckers getup.

“Of course. Your boy Thomas will be sporting a gun holster over his bare chest.”

I gulped at the thought of seeing what was under that shiny badge. “Okay, when does this start tomorrow? And how can I help?”

“I have most of the bases covered right now, but I could use help after the event with clean up. I want you to come and have fun. You just got into town and I know there will be a lot of familiar faces. Including my brothers.”

“I’m in.” Mel plopped down a flyer in front of me, and I began to read it over.

“All the details are there. It’s a thirty-dollar donation per person, which includes one signature event drink. Peckers Passion. Some wild vodka and pineapple concoction.”

“You know what they say about pineapples as it relates to Peckers.” I quizzed while looking over the costume requirements for us gals.

“So I’ve heard.”

“We’re supposed to dress up as our favorite reality show person? You’ve got to be kidding me.” I reread the paper to make sure I had it right.

“Nope, pick anyone. If you stick with one of the Housewives all you need to do is tease your hair, put on a sleazy dress, and wear a resting Botox face,” Mel remarked.

“What are you going as?” I asked Mel.

“Kim Kardashian. I’m padding my ass and whining.” Mel shook her head and rolled her eyes while I laughed at how spot on she was.

“I’ll go as Gretchen Rossi. The blonde on Orange County. I saw her one time in New York at a bar with the guy she’s engaged to. She was sweet and he was creepy. It’s either that or Honey Boo Boo.” I took the flyer, folded it, and stuffed it inside my purse. I had one day to find the perfect outfit, schedule a root touch up along with one of those flowing curl blowouts.

“Now, before we leave. I want to hear about you and my bro.” Mel reached for the last bite of her cookie and settled into her chair.

I began at the tap on my window.

After spilling every
last detail to Mel and answering a hundred probing questions, she decided I was going to marry her brother. She even asked if I preferred ivory or white for a dress. I told her not to pick out the linens or china yet. Wait until we at least rounded first base.

I prayed that would happen and soon. I thought back to the simple touch of Thomas’ fingers on my cheek the other night as he gently wiped away my tears. God, he was so sweet and strong at the same time. I wanted to know each side of him… both in and out of bed.

I drove back to my aunt’s house and pulled onto the driveway. The fall leaves were covering the yard and I couldn’t see a blade of grass showing. The time had arrived for some manual labor. I found a rake and bags in her gardening shed behind the old Victorian and set out to clean the place up.

I considered hiring someone to help with the upkeep around the one hundred plus year old house, but my funds were limited. The attorneys gave me a monthly allowance of five thousand dollars. Half of the amount went into a savings account for taxes, the rest was mine to spend for living day to day. If there were major repairs around the place, I could get help with them.

The weather for October was unseasonably hot so I wore a pair of workout shorts and a tank. I started raking and making piles in the front yard. I wanted the yard looking good for the trick-or-treaters descending in two days. The last thing I needed were the neighbors complaining that I let my aunt’s house run into the ground.

After an hour of raking, bending, and bagging, a car honked close by and I nearly jumped out of my skin. I put the rake down and saw a group of young guys getting out of a car. They were waving as they walked toward me. They looked to be high school age and perhaps the offensive line of the football team.

“Hey,” a tall blond called to me.

I scanned the area unsure if I was safe. Luckily I saw the neighbor two doors down on his front porch watching the unfolding scenario.

“Hi,” I responded with a bit of hesitancy.

“We were just driving by and saw you raking. Thought we might help you out. Pretty lady like you shouldn’t be doing a man’s job.” The blond puffed out his expansive chest. It was a very nice chest.

“Oh, I don’t mind.”

“Well we do.” All three of the hotties stood in front me in a line. One of them picked up my discarded rake.

“Really, you all don’t have to do this.” I tried to protest.

“We want to. Guess we should introduce ourselves. I’m Ben,” said the blond.

“I’m Marcus,” said another.

“I’m Sly,” said the last one. From the looks of him, all side swept bangs and dazzling smile, it appeared he was named appropriately.

“I’m Trish. Trish Hopkins.” I held my hand to my throat realizing I was one sweaty mess at the touch.

“We’ve not seen you around here before,” said Ben. “Believe me we would’ve remembered.”

I blushed at the inference and tried to hide a smile. Do I thank him for that compliment? I had no clue and didn’t want to ratchet up the flirting with high school boys.

“Well, I am new to town. Not really new. More like newly returned. I was raised here.” I took a breath and watched them smiling and checking me out. I suddenly felt underdressed.

“Glad you’re back.” Sly said in a sweet slur. Good God he was smooth.

“Do you have any more racks, I mean rakes?” Ben asked and I giggled. It appeared he was the official spokesman of the group.

“I saw a couple more in the shed out back. Rakes that is.” Now Ben blushed.

“Got it. Marcus and Sly you all get started out here.” Ben took off toward the back and grinned mischievously as he passed by me. I sure as hell don’t remember boys looking like this in high school. Well, there
was
Thomas. He’s the exception to everything here in Marietta.

The boys had
raked and bagged every single leaf in my yard. I tried to offer them some money, but they refused. All they would take were water bottles and a promise from me that I would come to their football game on Saturday. Ben said his first touchdown pass would be for me.

I hated to admit it but I enjoyed the attention. Maybe it made up for all the times Fatty Patty was ignored when I lived here.  The game wasn’t until two in the afternoon. So if the Peckers thing left me hung-over, I had time to recover Saturday morning.

I was digging through my closet in search of the perfect “Gretchen” dress. It needed to be bright and bold. Something flashy but still classy. I decided on one of my favorite dresses and best of all it was new to all the eyes here.

The dress was a bright turquoise with red accents along the neckline and it hit me mid-thigh. Maybe it was a bit too summery, but the color was perfect. It showcased my blonde hair and blue eyes. I’d made an appointment tomorrow at an upscale salon in town too. Now I just needed to pick the right shoes. I wanted to aim for the “fuck me” kind as I pulled out a couple pairs.

As I was deciding between a pair of peep toe pumps versus spiky stilettos, I heard shouting outside. I hobbled on different shoes to the window and saw the taillights of a car pulling away from the curb.

The car’s tires squealed and I saw the reason why as the streetlights illuminated my aunt’s yard. There were small white objects all over my front yard. Thousands of them and dammit those boys had just finished getting the yard cleaned up.

I threw off my heels in a huff and ran down the stairs to see what the hell was scattered all over the lawn. I stood at the top of the porch stairs and stared at forks… Hundreds upon hundreds of forks.

I sat down on the steps and started to cry. I don’t know what tipped the emo scale, but I think the whole moving thing caught up with me. Plus, I was starting to feel like I was connecting to my hometown again. This trickery took that wind out of my sails.

I heard a car pull up, then a door opened and shut. I looked up to see a sight for my teary eyes. Thomas. All decked out in his navy blue police uniform as he strode up the concrete path to the house.

I quickly wiped away my tears. The last time I saw him I was crying. I worried he might label me a hormone head case if I didn’t watch out.

“Good evening, Trish,” Thomas said like a knife through hot butter. I melted into the step even with the chilly night’s air.

“Hi Thomas,” I stood up to meet him and realized I was clothed in an almost see-through camisole and barely covering my ass boy shorts. I thought I was in for the night, so I had on my pajamas.