Shipwrecked (10 page)

“No, he’ll be
fine.”  Rowan said sternly, as if urging her not to worry for his brother.  He
reclined onto his back next to the fire, eyes still open, looking up at the
stars through the bows of the trees.

With a look of
determination on her face, Anna silently stood up and took the blanket over to
Rowan.  She lay down next to him and spread the blanket over them both as she
curled up next to him, resting her hand on his chest and her head on his arm. 
She didn’t care if he was speaking to her or not, and at the moment, she didn’t
care that she was betrothed to Jonathan Arbor.  All that she needed right now
was to touch Rowan, to feel the comfort that being close to his body provided,
damn the consequences.

 The bleakness of
her impending marriage was setting in.  What if she was not attracted to
Jonathan in the way that she was to Rowan?  What if she never again was to feel
as though lightning coursed through her veins with just a touch of Rowan’s
fingers to her skin?  Knowing that she must carry through with her marriage to
Jonathon, Anna wanted to feel the responses that Rowan evoked so easily just
one more time. 

She was playing
with fire, and she knew it.

 Rowan exhaled
slowly, fighting for his composure as she settled down next to him. 

“Anna, stop.  I’m
not as strong as ye think that I am.  Please doona do this tae me,” he gritted
through clenched teeth.

She felt his
muscles tense under her touch as he fought to steady himself against her close
proximity.

Anna fitted
herself against his body, moving her head on his chest and closing her eyes as
his warmth flooded her body.  His skin radiated heat, and his masculine smell
calmed her as she rested her cheek on his chest.  She did not respond to his
protests, and focused on his breathing, his chest rising and falling slowly
beneath her cheek.

 Anna felt the resistance
leave Rowan as his muscles relaxed and he relented, fitting his arms around her
to pull her up against his chest.  They lay quietly for awhile, eyes open, lost
in thought. 

Anna enjoyed the
safety that Rowan’s arms brought her, and reveled in the warmth and the
arousing smell that was distinctly Rowan, as she snuggled against him.  She was
relieved that he had not pushed her away, and was still confused by the fact
that he had barely spoken to her today which was such a stark contrast to the
way that he had kissed her last night.  Anna knew that she should distance
herself from Rowan, should guard her heart, but she could not force herself to
stay away from him.

“You ken that we canna
continue down this path, Anna,” Rowan whispered against her silky hair as he
closed his eyes, still fighting to have the strength to push Anna away. 
Fighting to do what he knew was right even though holding Anna felt so good.

“I know,” Anna
admitted, but still did not move away from Rowan.  “Its just that when I’m near
you, I feel something that I’ve never felt before, and I know that it is wrong
for me to touch you…to kiss you, to lead you on, but I just….”

“Yer no leading me
on, Anna,” Rowan said sternly, refusing to allow her to compare herself to a
common trollop.  “I’ve tried tae deny ye in every way that I ken, but I canna
fight it either.  I feel it too, lass.  I ken that I shouldna hold ye close,
that I should never have allowed myself tae be sae weak as tae kiss ye.  I ken
that yer betrothed tae another man, and I hate him for that,” Rowan confessed,
still holding Anna against himself as the words spilled forth.

Rowan’s admission
struck Anna to the core, and caused the fear that had been growing within her
heart to explode.  “What if this is my only chance to feel this way, this
fluttering in my stomach when you look at me, the tremors that spread across my
skin when you touch me.  What if he can’t do that for me Rowan?”

“You need tae
forget about me, Anna and give him the chance tae do those things for ye.  With
time, it will happen.  He can give ye all of the things that ye deserve, he can
give ye security.  He will be able tae give ye all of the things that I canna,”
Rowan said against her hair as he looked regretfully into the dark night sky.

“And what if I don’t
want those things, Rowan?” Anna said softly as she caressed his arm, relishing
the goose bumps that spread over his skin at her lightest touch.  Try as he
might, Rowan could not deny the response that his body had to her, and Anna
knew it.

Rowan knew that
fighting his overwhelming attraction to Anna was futile.  He was simply not
strong enough to push her away. 

“I’ll make ye a
deal,” Rowan said boldly, exhaling slowly in an effort to cast aside the
sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach.  “Tonight let’s figure out whatever
this is between us, and then mayhap we will be able tae move beyond it. 
Tonight, I’ll be yours tae do with as ye wish, tae hold, tae kiss…” he trailed
off and swallowed audibly before mustering the strength to continue, “And then in
the morning, we must force ourselves apart, we must begin the process of
letting go.”

“Don’t you think
that’s a bit reckless?” Anna whispered solemnly relishing the idea of holding
Rowan and giving into the desires that she had been repressing, even if it
would only be for one night.  One night might have to last her a lifetime.

“Aye,” Rowan
whispered, trailing a finger languidly up her arm in invitation.  “I think that
reckless is what we need tae get this out of our systems.”

Silence fell
between them as they contemplated the vastness of the act that they were about
to embark upon.

“Quinn told me
about Mairi,” she whispered against Rowan’s chest, breaking the silence and
changing the subject.

“He did, did he?”
Rowan said, stroking her back gently.  “So now ye understand why he acts as he
does?”

“It breaks my
heart to think of how he must feel,” Anna confessed, feeling fresh tears well
up in her eyes as she thought of Quinn’s suffering.  “He told me about how you
fought to save her,” she whispered, tears now streaming down her cheeks and
onto Rowans shirt.  “You were very brave.”

“I loved her too,”
Rowan said softly, brushing Anna’s hair back from her face.

They held each
other in silence, gathering strength from each other in the darkness.  Rowan
stroked Anna’s hair in the firelight and held her tight against his chest,
wishing to protect her as he had been unable to do for Mairi.  Anna toyed with
the fabric of Rowan’s shirt; the gentle touch of her fingers on the fabric over
his skin was soothing to him.

“So this is a new
start for you and your brothers,” Anna whispered, reaching up to dry the last
tears from her eyes.

“I guess ye could
say that,” Rowan said, threading Anna’s hair through his fingers and watching
how the lighter flecks seemed to sparkle in the firelight.

“Do you hate me
because I’m English?” she asked, voice concerned. “Because of what they did to
you?”

“I could never
hate you, Anna,” he whispered, leaning down to kiss her forehead.   “In fact,
it’s quite the opposite, and I’m not sure what tae do about it,” he confessed,
eyes starting up into the night sky.

“Kiss me again,”
she whispered, pulling her head up off of his chest and looking into his eyes. 
Her hair fell loosely by her side, and the firelight danced off her skin as she
looked up at Rowan, eyes beckoning him.

He reached up and
caressed her cheek, savoring the feel of her warm skin against his fingers.

“Kiss me, Rowan,”
she said again.

“I …ye ken that I
want tae… but I’m afraid I won’t be able tae stop this time,” he said, forcing his
hand to withdraw from her face, eyes looking longingly at her beautiful face in
the firelight, her full luscious lips taunting him. 

“If we do this
tonight, Anna, if ye agree tae be mine tonight, be gentle with my heart,” he
begged for her mercy, emotions playing across his face.  “I think that it will
be verra difficult for me tae let ye go, and I’ll need some space from ye tae
do that.”

“I’ll give you
space,” Anna said, knowing that it would be difficult to distance herself from
Rowan.  She would grant him this request, however painful it might be.

Anna took his hand
and placed it over her heart.  Her pulse raced and her heart thundered in
anticipation of the reckless contract that she was striking with Rowan.

“Do you feel
that?” she whispered, holding his hand to her chest in the darkness.

“Aye,” he
whispered in return, closing his eyes and listening to her heart thunder for
him.

“Tonight I want
you to be mine, Rowan Murray because you do this to me. You make my heart beat
like this,” she said as she continued to hold his hand over her heart. “And I
know that I would regret it for the rest of my life if I didn’t kiss you
again.”

Anna leaned
forward and twisted her hands into the lose fabric of Rowan’s shirt pulling
herself down towards him.  Closing her eyes, she brought her lips on top of
his, kissing him softly, questioning.  “Tonight, you’re mine,” she whispered
against his lips.

Rowan groaned
softly deep in his throat and relented to his desire, folding Anna up in his
arms and drawing her down on top of him.  He slid a hand back behind her neck
and claimed her mouth in a passionate kiss, tongue thrusting against hers,
demanding that she open for him. 

Anna was lost in
her desire, and she kissed Rowan wantonly, running her hands over his chest,
his back and through his hair.  The feelings that Rowan had worked so hard to
repress spilled forth, and his mouth slanted over Anna’s hungrily seeking to
stake claim upon her lips. 

Shaking with his
need, Rowan regained enough control to break the kiss, realizing that he was
now lying on top of Anna; he supported his weight on his elbows as he loomed
over her.

Their breathing
was ragged, and Rowan lowered his forehead so that it was resting against
Anna’s, holding his lips just millimeters above hers.  He closed his eyes,
fighting to retain his control, and placed a chaste kiss on her lips which were
now swollen from the assault of his kisses.

“Don’t stop,” she
whispered against his lips, reaching up to tuck a strand of his chestnut hair
behind his ear.

“How is it that ye
can do this tae me, woman?” he gritted out, writhing slightly and uttering the
faintest groan.  “If ye had a shred of mercy about ye…ye would stop this
torment and go tae sleep.”

“But I’m not
tired,” Anna said softly, feeling wonton as the waves of desire that Rowan
kindled spread through her body.  She had never kissed a man before Rowan, and
reveled in the power that her touch had in provoking Rowan.  She knew that she
should stop, knew that she should stop prodding him onward like a common whore. 
What would he think of her?

She didn’t care
what he thought of her, and casting caution to the wind, Anna decided to play
with fire.  She just wanted one more kiss. 

As if reading her
mind, Rowan gently kissed her, slowly and languidly, savoring her sweet taste
in his mouth.  He fought all of his instincts, his desire to ravish her, to
possess her, and moved his lips over hers, tormenting her with his tenderness. 
After all, there wouldn’t be any harm in just kissing her goodnight, allowing himself
just this small pleasure.  He was certainly experienced enough to know when to
stop, he had been able to stop with every woman before this one.

He drew away
slowly, leaving Anna trembling with desire under his finger tips, and he placed
soft kisses up her neck until his lips brushed her ear.

“And if yer no
tired, what if I make ye tired?” he questioned boldly against his better
judgment, suggestion heavy in his tone.  “I’ll never neglect yer needs, Anna,”
he whispered, brushing the back of his hand across her breast.  “Tonight I’m
going tae treat ye as if ye belonged tae me.”

So much for
knowing when to stop.

“What about your
needs?” she whispered in response, pressing her body against him, feeling his
heat through the thin fabric of her dress.

“I’ll get by,” he
whispered, hoping that he had the restraint not to go further than he
intended.  He kissed Anna’s right shoulder and drew his hand up to cup her
breast through her dress.  She moaned when he brushed his thumb gently back and
forth over her nipple.

“Shh…” Rowan
whispered against her ear.  “Ye’ll have tae keep quiet,” he chuckled against
her skin, pleased by how her body reacted so readily to his touch.  Rowan
pulled the blanket up so that it completely covered them, affording what
measure of privacy that he could.  Hell, he wouldn’t have cared if the entire
world was watching; his body was wild with the need to touch Anna, to please
her.

Ever so slowly,
Rowan slid his hand under Anna’s skirt, taking his time to savor the silky
smooth skin of her legs.  He knew that he would stop if she asked him to, but
stopping this sweet torment might kill him.  He only hoped that he had the
strength to stop. 

Rowan’s nose
brushed against Anna’s, and he smiled when he thought of the faint spray of
freckles that graced her nose.  She was so perfect, so beautiful to him.  Rowan
claimed Anna’s lips in another possessive kiss, and his hand found what it had
been so boldly seeking.  He groaned deeply when he learned that Anna wasn’t
wearing any undergarments, that she was completely bare beneath her dress.  He
brushed over her curls lightly with his fingers, hand shaking with the desire
to touch her more freely.

Anna took in her
breath sharply and jumped, startled by the wave of pleasure that she felt at
Rowan’s slightest touch. She had never been touched so intimately by a man,
hell; she’d never even kissed a man before Rowan.  And yet, here she was,
unashamed that he was touching her like this.  Not only was she unashamed, she
was thoroughly enjoying how he was touching her.  She planned to savor this
moment for the rest of her life.