Shifting Shadows (Sparks Collide Trilogy) (27 page)

I gave him a bored look, “What?” “I said.

I wanted to play Wii later, wanted to
see if you were in.”

I stared at him still trying to make
sense of it all.

“So” he repeated “are you?”

I finally got the gist of it “Yeah, ok.
After dinner” I said it like it was an order, as if I was totally in control
all along. How I always had to appear. He gave me a strange look because he
knew better but also knew enough to let it go. I could always count on him to
have my back. It was hard not to be grateful for the guy.

He went back to devouring the rest of
the food on his plate and I followed his example and dug in to my own food.
Slowly, I was able to tune in to the conversations going on around me.

Logan
turned to me, eyes shining “So what
are you up to tonight, Doolittle?”

I let the new nickname slide as it was
better than the last three he’d come up with. “Same thing as everyone else I
guess. Why do you guys have plans?”

“Well, I figured Jay-bird would’ve
figure out something for you two to do by now.”

“Huh? Why would he do that,
Logan
? Am I missing something?”

Will snorted, obviously listening and
turned to Jay. “Man, you should’ve planned something, you obviously need my
help.”

Demi poked Will “I don’t see you taking
me out tonight. You’re the last guy he should take advice from.” She said
laughing.

I straightened. “He doesn’t have to do
anything. There’s nothing going on.” I really wish the kiss hadn’t happened
because now everyone thought that it meant more than it did to him. I was
embarrassed. I did like Jay, a hell of a lot but he didn’t feel the same way.
Did he? He may have wanted to protect me because we were friends but I
remembered the look on his face this morning, so cold, so dismissive. Then
again something was up with him in the den. I didn’t know what to think
anymore. I was confused and my lack of experience was not helping any. Then
again what could prepare anyone for a love life while hanging with a wolf pack?

I looked at Logan to see if he was just
joking but he seemed serious, studying me like he was trying to gauge if I was
telling the truth or not. My eyes flicked around the room and noticed they were
all listening, acting as if they weren’t but doing a poor job of it. Except for
Jay, he was listening outright and had no intention of pretending otherwise. I
only noticed him out of the corner of my eye but that was enough for me. I was
not about to look over at him directly.

Logan
made an “uh huh” sound.
Brandon
laughed and added “oh come on, no
reason to be embarrassed, I mean I guess I would be if I was dating this guy”
he jerked a thumb towards Jay “but we won’t hold it against you… much.”

Trent
, giving up his charade of ignoring the
conversation by piling massive quantities of food into his mouth, took a breath
and chimed in. “Dude, we all know you’re dating, you guys can talk about it.
It’s whatever, you know.”

What was going on? Logan and Brandon I
expected jokes from, but
Trent
seemed serious. It started to freak me
out. “Thanks for your consideration guys” I murmured sarcastically “but there
is no secret relationship going on.” I spoke a little louder “Jay…” is what?
not interested in me that way, kissed me then ditched me, may have asked me out
in the den but I’m really not sure and now I’m just confused “and I are just
friends.” I was not going to look at Jay, and see him laughing as I squirmed?
No thank you.

He probably already guessed I was into
him and thought this whole conversation was hilarious. God I hope he didn’t
think I told the guys he was my boyfriend, like I was delusional or something.
I should probably clarify that. “Where do you guys come up with this stuff, do
you gossip and spread rumors in your bunks at night?”

Logan
didn’t hesitate for a moment. “Most
rumors are based on facts.”
Logan
didn’t believe me and now I was
getting pissed off.

“Annabella, you have anything to add?”

“Well we certainly wouldn’t mind if you
guys were together. If you wanted to keep it a secret, I understand but that’s
just not very likely with this pack. Sorry Kira, but on the up-side we’re happy
for you guys.”

Finally I had to look up and face…him
“Jay” his posture was relaxed, he looked bored even but his eyes said he was
amused. He looked gorgeous, the jerk. He nodded in acknowledgment. I tried to
make sure my voice was calm and not sounding like I was pleading with him. I
didn’t want him getting an even bigger head. “I hate to spoil your fun because
it’s clear you know that the longer you stay quiet, the longer this will go on
but I’m getting annoyed now.”

He waited a beat then finally deigned
to speak. How nice for me. “Actually, I wanted to see where this would go, how
it would play out, it’s all very fascinating.”

And you’re very frustrating! I wanted
to scream but instead just stated “I just don’t like to perpetuate lies if I
can help it.”

He half-smiled. “What lie is that? You
lost me.”

I was lost, staring at her, I couldn’t
help it. She lit up when she talked, with passion and fire, as if every word
that bounced from her tongue mattered like hell. I liked how she got so worked
up over this and I knew it had to be because it was striking a nerve. I also
knew that a strong reaction could mean many things, love or hatred. I borrowed
Trent
’s optimism for a moment, hey what are
friends for, and decided to believe that this much passion had to equal
something good.

Well either that or she was going to
kill me, I realized after noticing the iciest glare I’d ever seen, aimed my
way. I was an Alpha, used to eye contact in every form. I’d faced down larger,
older shifters through sheer will to prove my dominance in the past. But one
cold look from this tiny girl and I wanted to hunch my shoulders in defense, I
actually felt chills run down my body.

I was losing my mind and I felt
ridiculous. Everything I tried with her failed, except from the kiss and I was
starting to think that had been a fluke. Other girls flocked to me, thought I
was smooth and I
was
smooth damn it! With this girl however, you would
never know it. All my tricks slid right off her and every conversation we’d
shared had taken an unexpected turn, proving I had no control over it in the
first place.

When I told the guys we were together
last night after we got home, I’d expected that to be true by now. What
Logan
didn’t know, what none of them knew,
was we weren’t even close to dating because I’d messed up big time. Of course
they were about to find out. I would try to save face later, just say I was
biding his time with her, playing a cat and mouse game, a game where I had the
upper hand. They didn’t need to know that I wouldn’t have the upper hand with
her even if I climbed to the top of
Mt.
Kilimanjaro
.

I would change that however, I just had
to step up me game and for her I would, I wanted to.

They didn’t believe me, I could tell. I
had to know if this was a joke and who was in on it. I spoke loud and clear,
“All of those who think I am Jay’s girlfriend raise your hand, right now!” I
looked around slowly to see everyone’s hands raised. Every single one of them!
Bastards!

Brandon
, a huge smile on his face used his
entire body to push his raised hand higher in the air like he had some urgent
question. I gave him the death glare, he smiled wider.

 
Last I forced myself to look directly across
the table to the head of it where Jay sat, leaning back, smirking. Smirking,
damn him! He looked so triumphant but I wasn’t about to let him feel that way
for long. I was sick of being messed with. It hurt knowing that my secret hopes
of being with Jay were playing out as nothing but a humiliating joke. Why did I
have to take a poll? Was I completely unhinged?

I almost stood up and walked over to
him to smack the smirk right off his stupid, handsome face. I contemplated
whether or not that would help my predicament and just as I thought “screw it,
he needs to be smacked.” and pushed back my chair to do just that when I saw
his face whip to the right of me.

He looked at Max and his expression
quickly changed from smugness to anger. I realized that I was wrong before. Not
all hands were raised because next to me, Max’s were firmly folded on the table
as he sat with a look of contemplation on his face. It wasn’t much but I would
take what I could get. I pulled my chair back in and smiled. Ha-ha Captain Jay
it seems there is some dissension among the troops.

Jay almost growled “Max” Max avoided
eye contact with Jay but looked up thoughtfully and said “Well wouldn’t she
know if she were your girlfriend? Logically I don’t think she would be asking
us if she knew the answer already so I have to wonder why…”

I leapt at this cutting him off
“Exactly, how can I possibly be his girlfriend when he never even asked me.
This is not one of those situations where it’s understood. I think I would know
if I had a boyfriend and since I know that I don’t, you all have to stop, it’s
ridiculous! Look at him,” I continued, leaning forward, pointing to Jay “He’s
laughing. He certainly gets pleasure out of messing with me and right now he’s
just messing with you guys and you fell for it. So stop being so dumb and
listen to me when I say Jay and I never dated, we are not dating, and we’re
never going to date. So everybody just.
Just chill out.”
I gasped the last part as I ran out of steam and settled back into my chair as
far as I could.

At this everybody burst out laughing
and I started to join in because it was all so ridiculous. That is, until I
realized Jay was staring directly at me, a very serious look on his face. I
froze, unsure about why he wasn’t laughing when suddenly the laughter died off.

The absence of all noise was too abrupt
and it unnerved me, not as much as Jay’s stare but nearly. I felt trapped in
his gaze and couldn’t seem to look away, even though part of me wanted to. I
felt my magic start to leak through my fingertips from the stress and the
rollercoaster of emotions this night had brought. I needed to calm down. I
placed my hands in my lap and tried to take deep breaths.

Even when he spoke, his words cutting
through the eerie silence, his eyes stayed vigilantly locked on mine. “So
you’ll never date me, huh?” I wanted to crawl under the table but I knew it
would do no good. I also wanted to shout “Hell yes, I’ll date you, I just
didn’t know you were going to ask me” but I knew this was just another game,
one where I didn’t understand the rules. So I would make my own. Despite our
recent conversation in the den, where I thought he might have been alluding to
a date, I still felt angry about being left behind today. I was not happy about
being ignored this morning or about his cocky attitude right now.

I knew that if there was ever going to
be something between us, I would have to make it clear how I felt and what I
expected. I pushed the fear back and pulled my leaking magic back into the
vault inside my mind. I channeled feelings of peace and certainty and spoke,
“Not with an arrogant attitude like that. No. I deserve to be asked on a date
and not by someone’s pack mates.” I said this next part very slowly “And then,
I would then have to agree. That’s the least someone would have to do. That’s
what it would take” and then I added for good measure “and don’t take my saying
we’re never going to date as a challenge because you know it wasn’t so just
stop.”

He wanted to smile, I could tell. His
lips were curving at the corners. His eyes sparked and I knew I had succeeded
as least as far as the dare went. If he really wanted things to work out with
us and I hoped he did, it could happen but it also might backfire if he didn’t
see this as something that he wanted beyond the victory.

He finally took his eyes from mine and
got up. He walked out to the hallway, said over his shoulder to
Trent
“Come on let’s get the Wii set up,”
turned the corner and was gone.

Most of the guys got up to follow him
“Sounds good to me” Will exclaimed “I wouldn’t mind kicking
Logan
’s ass today.”

“Really,”
Logan
shot back “I’d like to see you try. I
call
Brandon
for my team.

Will growled, “Bullshit. You had him
last time.”

Brandon
took on a high pitched sing song voice
“I don’t recall either of you asking me, you know I’m a lady and I need to be
asked and agree to it.” Enormous shouts of laughter followed this statement and
this time I had no qualms about smacking. So I did, hard.
Brandon
pretended that it hurt for my benefit
then kept trading insults with the guys as they walked down the hallway toward
the den.