Shifting Selves (8 page)

I hadn’t seen Mac since the night the agents interrupted us. I didn’t know if he was avoiding me or working the case separately, but it didn’t matter. The message was clear: I wasn’t welcome in parts of his life.

Vivian was rarely home, spending all her time either in the library or with her ex-girlfriend. She continued to scowl and mutter whenever I asked for details, so I assumed it wasn’t going well.

Simon was still with us, though we didn’t know for how long. Reluctantly, we’d passed Carmen’s message on to him, along with a slew of reasons he could ignore her request. He nodded once, confirming he heard us, but said nothing in response. No one wanted to remind him of his talk of leaving, and we walked on eggshells around him, hoping that if we never mentioned it, he might just forget. Cats aren’t renowned for their long memories, after all.

Sera and I waited, feeling more useless by the hour. By the third morning, I felt ready to climb outside my own skin. The agitation pulled at my center, at that ball of energy that rested quietly in my core, just waiting for a chance to spring to life. It demanded release. I hoped ignoring it would cause it to quiet and atrophy, but I feared the opposite was true. I suspected it would only grow louder until I sated it with action.

And so, when Sera exploded from her room on that third morning, hair wild from sleep and eyes bleary from lack of caffeine but still a bundle of pure energy, I understood the force that motivated her when she announced, “Screw this. We’re doing something today.” It was the same force coiled within me, familiar and foreign at the same time.

“Back to the lake or the river?” I suggested, with little hope that we’d find anything in either spot.

She shook her head, clearly sharing my doubt. “I think we exhausted those. Think if we camp on their doorsteps, the families will finally open their doors?”

“We could maybe stop at a costume shop for some bear or cat ears. Might make them more accepting of our presence.”

She was amused by the thought. “While my sexy cat has served me well at more than one Halloween party, I don’t think it’ll work quite as well on Carmen.”

“You know, if it ever comes down to a fight between you two, I’m not sure who I’d put money on. I mean, you, obviously, cause of the whole loyalty thing and the way you could set her on fire, but otherwise it would be a hard call. That woman scares me.”

“It’s the claws. She’d be hell in a slap fight.”

“Fair point.” The conversation tapered off into comfortable silence, both of us trying to come up with a plan that was only somewhat ridiculous. I got there first. My idea was still mostly ridiculous, but it was the only one we had.

“Get dressed, Sera. Something casual and, er, hot.” She simply looked at me, her scornful expression suggesting she was always hot, regardless of her outfit. “We’re going back to school.”

CHAPTER 8

“
I assume your plan is more complex than we sit outside a public school until someone arrests us for loitering in a suspicious manner? Cause I had plans today that didn’t involve ending up on a sex offender registry.”

We were parked across from the square mass of brick and concrete that formed the local high school. It was the sort of utilitarian building built for function rather than design, the city planners unwilling to shell out any money for unnecessary architecture. At the moment, it was silent, and we could only wait impatiently for the lunch bell to ring.

“I thought we might be able to get Brandon to open up a bit more if we got him on his own, away from his family. From what I’ve heard, siblings know secrets that would horrify parents, so we need to know what he knows. And I’m hoping he’ll be more forthcoming if he’s talking to an attractive woman.”

Sera nodded slowly. “You remember I did my best to scare the actual bejeesus out of him when we met, right?”

I was unconcerned. “He’s a teenage boy. Fear and attraction go hand in hand.”

“I just want to be clear about this. Am I wearing my extra tight jeans to seduce Mac’s teenaged cousin?”

“Seduce is such a strong word. I was thinking charm. Cajole, perhaps.”

“Why did I get assigned this particular task?”

I shrugged. “Hey, you always say you’re the hot one. If you’re willing to relinquish that title...”

“Please. I’ve seen your recent attempts at flirtation. If we want the kid to fall down laughing, you’re our go-to girl.” She sighed, a big, dramatic exhalation that let me know how put-upon she felt. “Until you get your mojo back, call me Mrs. Robinson.”

“Hey. My mojo is working just fine.”

“Really? How’s Mac?”

I muttered several comebacks under my breath, most of which involved creative combinations of profanity, then settled for a simple, “Shut up.”

She grinned, knowing she’d won that round. Her victory allowed her to be magnanimous. “Give it time. I mean, you are kind of a freak. People need to warm to that. But you have your good points. Okay, sure, you have boring taste in music, and you drive like someone’s cataracts-ridden grandma. You wake up at a completely ridiculous hour each morning. You could win an Olympic medal in stubbornness.”

“I assume the good points are coming eventually?”

“Sorry,” she said, sounding not sorry in the least. “I got sidetracked.”

“Don’t forget the part where I’m slowly becoming insane. That’s got to be a selling point for someone.”

Her smile fell instantly, and when she next spoke, her voice held no hint of laughter. Apparently, I’d found the one subject she didn’t want to joke about. “That is not going to happen, Ade. It’s just not. You hear me?”

“How can you be so sure? I mean, yeah, we only have Josiah’s word that madness is inevitable, and normally I’d say his word is about as valuable as Monopoly money. But my mother said the same thing, and you saw what Brian became. I know you didn’t meet Trent Pond, but trust me, he wasn’t living in the same reality we do. Whatever I am, whatever I might become, it’s not good.”

“But Trent was just a little nuts, right? I mean, he was in a regular mental hospital, not one for the criminally insane. So there’ve got to be different levels of crazy. We just need to figure out how to keep you on the low setting.”

I’d already considered this option and had a working, if highly depressing, theory. “Yes, but Trent was ice and water, right? Similar elements. Brian was ice and earth, very different ones. And me, well...” I let the silence speak for me. Water and fire were polar opposites. If I was right, I wasn’t just looking at a ride on the crazy train. I could be its conductor.

I looked at Sera, at this friend I’d only just gotten back. It was too soon to lose each other again. “Besides, if the elementals ever learn what I am, I won’t even have a chance to go crazy. The council will order, well, you know.” I stopped, unwilling to speak the words aloud.

She knew. “Not going to happen, Ade,” Sera repeated. “I’ve thought about what you said on the roof, that something feels unbalanced now. That might be true, but I’ve gotta say, I see no evidence of that. You’re the same pain in the ass you always were. So I’m choosing to believe there is a way around this, around all of it, and we will find it.” The words were heavy, a proclamation of fact rather than one woman’s opinion. When she spoke with such confidence, I had no choice but to believe her. “Besides,” she added. “When do I ever not get my way?”

“Never,” I admitted. She nodded, satisfied I was finally seeing reason.

A clanging bell cut through the air, and a moment later the school’s heavy doors flew open. Teenagers spilled from the depths of the building, their voices loud and energetic, releasing tension built up from sitting quietly for hours on end, absorbing knowledge most of them didn’t want. They called to each other noisily, running to their cars and pulling quickly away from the curb, off to the nearest fast food restaurant where they could enjoy their short-lived freedom with a side of trans fats.

We studied the students carefully, looking for any sign of the sullen, brown-haired teenager we’d met a few days ago. Just as we were about to give up, we saw a group of students slink around the side of the building and move toward the trees that surrounded the school. In the center of the group, his slouch and slow gait the international body language of the bored teenager, walked Brandon.

We followed. Their trail was so obvious even a human could have found them. Heavy footfalls left clear shoe imprints on the ground, and the trampled grass pointed the way as clearly as an arrow. If I hadn’t already figured out Brandon was human, the fact that he didn’t notice us approaching would have been a clear indication he didn’t get the shifter gene.

In addition to Brandon, there were three other teenagers, two boys and a girl. The other boys were both skinny, their gangly limbs and lean faces suggesting they weren’t done growing yet. They wore oversized clothes likely intended to conceal their lack of muscle tone but which only served to highlight how thin they were. One had bleached hair, clearly done at home with a peroxide bottle, and the other had piercings in his left eyebrow and beneath his lower lip.

The girl was small, quiet, and almost painfully adorable, nothing but enormous brown eyes and soft cheeks. She was trying to balance being so damn cute with harder clothes. She wore all black with lots of silver jewelry, and streaks of purple hair framed her face. Everything about this group suggested bored teenagers who thought they were far more trouble than they actually were.

My sheltered upbringing meant I’d never met this kind of student growing up, let alone become one myself. Sera, who’d attended a public high school as part of Josiah’s efforts at limited assimilation, grinned as we approached. She’d spent a few years sneaking off into the trees with her own school’s bad boys, and this was familiar ground for her.

“Brandon!” she called. They turned immediately, and I noticed cigarette packs being surreptitiously returned to pockets. “Don’t mind us. We won’t tell.” In a heartbeat, her sardonic expression vanished. Her eyes softened, and she let her full lips tip into a soft, conspiratorial smile. She leaned casually against a tree, a pose that allowed her to jut one hip to the side and emphasize the curve from her waist to her thigh. Sera had an impressive curve to display, and Brandon’s male companions noticed.

“Oh yeah?” said Bleached. “Why should we trust you? You don’t go to the school, do you?” He sounded more hopeful than worried, as if he thought Sera might be a very mature senior. With a bit of extra swagger, he withdrew the cigarettes again, doing his best to show that he was old enough to smoke, or for anything else Sera might have in mind.

“Nah. We just know Brandon. Don’t we?” She gazed at him, letting her eyes suggest all sorts of potentially inappropriate connections. Brandon looked on the verge of utter panic, trying to figure out what had changed between Sera tormenting him in his dad’s car and flirting with him in Smokers’ Woods. I couldn’t help him, either. I was too busy trying not to laugh.

Bleached glanced between Brandon and Sera, trying to read the situation and his own chances. He flicked the lighter and brought it toward his face, only to have the flame disappear every time it got close. “Dude, this thing’s broken. Give me yours.” He grabbed his friend’s, only to encounter the same problem. Sera’s face was impassive, but Brandon looked amused. He knew what Sera was but felt no desire to clue the others in, making me think the rest were human.

“What do you want?” he asked. Surprisingly, Sera’s little trick with the fire made him marginally more helpful. I didn’t know whether this was due to the reminder of our magical connection or just his fear that we’d give something away, but he was slightly less sullen than he’d been before. He’d been upgraded to merely snippy now.

Still, he spoke the words confidently, making eye contact in a way he hadn’t in the car. I was happy to see I’d been right. He was the big man among his friends, and he needed to impress them.

“So direct.” She stood up straight and wandered closer to Brandon. His two friends watched every step, but I kept my eyes on the lone girl. She appeared to be slowly disappearing into herself, as if her already uncertain existence dimmed further once the boys stopped noticing her.

I’d known girls like that at university, shy and quiet, unable to demand the attention they craved. You never asked that girl where the weekend’s parties would be held, or what the latest fashions were. She was never the first one to know such quickly changing information, but she made up for it by observing, always observing, and no one had a better grasp on who was hooking up, who was nursing a crush, and who’d actually found the type of love she desperately wanted for herself. In other words, she was the perfect one to ask about James and Pamela.

Sera was still talking to Brandon and his friends. She’d lowered her voice to suggest secrets and intimacy, and the boys continued to behave like hormones on legs. It was good to know that, in a world where everything was horribly unstable, I could count on teenage boys to make fools of themselves over an attractive woman. Brandon himself looked immune to Sera’s charms, but not the adulation of his friends, and I swore his chest puffed up and he stood at least two inches taller while they spoke. I picked out a couple words from the conversation and knew they were discussing James.

Divide and conquer, then. I sidled over to the girl, who was watching Sera work her magic with something between envy and despair. “Hey,” I said. “What’s your name?”

She looked at me in surprise, as if she’d given up on someone at this school addressing her directly.

“Mary,” she murmured. She lifted her chin slightly, trying confidence on for size. It was an uneasy fit, but I suspected she’d grow into it over the years.

“Good, solid name,” I assured her. “My mom decided to get creative and named me Aidan, which caused no end of confusion at college. They put me in the boy’s dorm, and it took weeks to sort it out. Not that I really minded.” I hadn’t. Before college, I’d never seen a naked man in person, and it was quite an education to share a bathroom with fifteen of them.

Mary smiled slightly, but I couldn’t tell if she was merely trying to be polite. I forged ahead. “Sera and I are trying to get some answers. As soon as we have them, we’ll leave you alone.”

She turned to me, interest definitely piqued. I didn’t think she felt any great animosity toward us, but neither could she warm to us. As long as we were there, she lost the benefit of being the sole girl in the group, with all the attention that provided her. I suspected she hung with these boys because even their awkward attempts to treat her like a guy who just happened to have breasts were still better than trying to fit in with the other girls. While Sera and I remained, that balance would be off.

“What do you want to know?” she asked.

“We’re trying to learn a bit more about Pamela. Her family is worried about her.” Mentioning that some of Pamela’s blood had been found on the wrong side of her skin felt like unnecessary information.

“Cause of James?” She asked. I nodded knowingly, as if I was already in on whatever secrets she was about to share with me. “I don’t know why they’re stressed about him. James is cool.” Her eyes drifted to Bleached and Pierced, mentally comparing her companions to the missing shifter and finding them lacking. “I mean, I know he got in trouble sometimes. He was always in detention for being late. But he wasn’t ever rude. He never made fun of me.”

I felt a sudden urge to yank this girl away from the teenage boys, who didn’t seem nearly as harmless as they had a moment ago, and deposit her in a nice safe chess club where she’d possibly be treated with respect and reverence. Building themselves up by preying on this girl’s fragile self-esteem wasn’t something I could easily ignore. For the moment, though, I shook it off.

“You never saw him yell at her? Did they fight?”

Mary shook her head vehemently. “Never. They were that couple, you know? The one joined at the hips and lips. He looked at her like she was every dream that ever came true.”

When she put it like that, it sounded pretty nice. Unfortunately, it also decreased the likelihood that James was the one we should be chasing. I took a moment to consider how disturbed my life was, that I was hoping to find an abusive teenaged bear shifter.

“I heard they broke up weeks ago,” I said, remembering Dana’s loud proclamation intended for her mother’s ears.

Mary shook her head quickly. “No way. If anything, they seemed to be together more than ever, always whispering about something.” And Dana covered up for her, as I’d suspected.

“What was Pamela like?”

“She was one of those girls. You know. Homecoming court. Played volleyball and even looked good in those tiny shorts. Good grades. Nice to everyone. I mean, I wanted to hate her, but I couldn’t. She always seemed so real, you know?”

I nodded slowly, trying to put the pieces together in a new way. A bear and a cat fell in love, which was enough for their families to want them separated. Add in an old-fashioned “good girl falls for bad boy” plot, and we not only had the ingredients for an awesome romantic comedy but a compelling reason for Carmen to want to separate the teenagers, especially if she found out their breakup was a scam.