Shift Just Got Real (Bear Bites Book 3)

L
ife’s given
me the short end of the stick on looks – I’m big, ugly and brutish. Normally I wouldn’t care about the packaging except for the fact that the woman of my dreams is Ryann Brown, a human half my age and so lovely she makes my body ache. What’s a were-bear to do in this situation? 

Whatever he can to forget her, of course.

 Except Ryann’s not taking no for an answer. And when she catches me watching her one night, she gives me a show I’ll never forget. Did I think I’d be able to walk away and not touch her? Not claim what’s mine?

Not a chance.

Y
ou shouldn’t be here
,
the little voice says.

I reach over my right shoulder and squash my conscience. I’m just watching, and she’s just making dinner. Early on, I made strict rules about what I could and could not watch. No private places like her bedroom and bathroom. Those were off-limits. The living room, kitchen, and small eat-in area between? Well…she didn’t hang any blinds up.

Right now she’s in her kitchen. She’s wearing headphones and bopping to some music.

I’m really doing her a favor, because anyone could come along and break into her house. She wouldn’t hear them, not with that music turned up as loud as she’s got it.

She swirls, sways, and then bends over to pull out her casserole. I swallow hard at that move.

My hand drops to the fly of my jeans. Fuck, she’s so beautiful.

Ryann Brown moved to town at the tender age of seventeen. She was gorgeous then—all legs, big hair, and braces. I smelled her at the grocery store, went home, and drank myself into a stupor.

Underage, smelling like my mate, and human to boot? The spirits hated me.

I stayed in my cabin for a month, living off the food in the forest, before I got the courage to go back to town. It was worse when I didn’t see her. I tore all over Pine Falls looking for her, watching the high school, prowling around all the streets at night. I couldn’t sleep. Finally, I heard that she had just been visiting. Mary Brown and her husband moved here about ten years ago. They were quiet folks. Mary’s a scientist over at the Wolf Rescue Center. Ryann returned to wherever it was she came from.

I went back to my cabin and stayed there the whole winter. Lost about fifteen pounds, rubbed my dick raw, and came out with a beard that rivaled Paul Bunyan’s. I’d found my mate, but she was an underage human who didn’t even live in Pine Falls.

I thought I’d be able to fuck away the memory of her, but any time I got a whiff of a woman’s arousal, my dick became limper than a noodle.

When she returned three years later to work with her aunt at the Rescue Center, my inner bear rejoiced, but I knew better. She was human—beautiful to look at, sweet to smell. There’s no way she’d ever be interested in a loner like me.

Every time I saw her she was surrounded by people. Sometimes it was just her relatives, but often it was boys. Assholes who probably thought a clit was a pimple on a girl’s vagina. Fuckwits who were more interested in blowing their own load before she came.

She didn’t date any of them, to my relief. I knew the day was coming when she’d take up with one of these boys. I might have to move then…away from Pine Falls and away from her.

I’d never be able to forget about her. Her smell is imprinted on my brain. I only need to think of her and I get hard. But I couldn’t be close to her man without maiming him. I’d go into a jealous rage and take him out before I even realized what happened. And if she cared about him, it’d bring her grief, and I couldn’t live with that either.

No, it’s better that I leave her. Go to Alaska or maybe even the Arctic. Hunker down in some den and sleep my life away, just reliving the memory of her, day after day, night after night.

Until then I’m stuffing myself full of her in the only way I can. In furtive glimpses and stolen snapshots when she’s not aware.

It’s wrong. I know it’s wrong, but I’m doing it anyway, and I’ll continue to do it until the day comes when she’s no longer mine.

I think of her as mine.

The problem is even if I weren’t a bear shifter, I’d never be able to win her over. I’m too ugly and too big. Way too big.

The few women who’ve tried me out haven’t ever wanted seconds. One poor girl started crying when she saw my dick. It’s just too big. And if it’s too big for the substantial ladies I’ve paid to have sex with me, then it’s way too big for Ryann, even if she did want me. Which she doesn’t.

Watching will be enough for me.

“Hey man, you got a smoke?”

Reluctantly, I tear my eyes from Ryann’s window. A young man wearing a black beanie, a black windbreaker, and loose jeans approaches me.

“No,” I answer abruptly.

“How about twenty bucks? You got that?”

“No.” Out of the corner of my eye, I see Ryann has left the dining room. I stifle a sigh. That means she’s going into her bedroom, and I won’t get to see her again.

“How about your wallet? You got one of those?” the kid says belligerently.

I palm my keys. “No.”

“I’m betting you do have a wallet. Why don’t you just hand it over.”

The smell of iron and oil and sulfur hits me. When I look at the kid again, he has a gun in his hand.

“Put that away,” I growl. “You’re going to hurt someone.”

I glance toward Ryann’s corner apartment. If this guy is shooting around the parking lot, it could ricochet and hurt her. That’s unacceptable.

“Where do you live?” I return my attention to the wannabe tough.

“Wh-what?”

“Are you a Pine Falls resident?” I ask impatiently. He doesn’t look like anyone I know, but he doesn’t look like a tourist either.

“No, I’m from Exeter.” His hand twitches in his pocket. He’s not sure if he wants to bring it out.

Exeter is a town about twenty minutes south. “Good. Go on then. Go back to Exeter.”

His mouth presses into a thin line. “Not without some cash. Give me your wallet or else.”

I did warn him
, I think. In a movement that’s too fast for him to block, I knock him sideways. He stumbles, and I sweep his legs out from underneath him. He’s facedown with my knee in his back before he can take another breath.

“Sorry about this. Don’t want to hurt you, but you can’t be around here.” I pull the gun out of his pocket and release the magazine. There are only four bullets. That’s not good. I pluck the bullets out, pocket them, and then return the gun and the magazine to the boy’s pocket. I pick him up by the collar and then shove him forward.

“Mr. Standard?”

Inwardly, I groan. It’s Ryann with a trash bag in her hand. I open my mouth to chastise her, and then realize she knows my name. I walk forward, dragging the kid with me.

“Hey man, let me go,” the kid protests.

“Not yet.” Not around Ryann. I’m going to have to stuff this piece of trash into my car and drive him back to Exeter. Or I’ll drop him halfway there. “Miss Brown, it’s getting late. Let me take that for you.” The dumpster is in the far corner of the parking lot. She should definitely not be out here all by herself in the dark. I reach for it, but she doesn’t let it go.

“No. It’s fine. But what are you doing here? Do you live here?”

No rational excuse pops into my head. “Was thinking about it,” I finally answer. “It’s isolated in my cabin. I’ve been thinking about moving to town. How is it you know me?”

She ducks her head. “Oh, my aunt pointed you out when you brought some of your carvings to the Center a few months ago. They were just beautiful. I really admire your work.”

“Well.” I clear my throat. Ryann’s compliment has floored me. I’ve had rich folks from all over the world give me accolades, but not one has made me feel like Ryann’s simple statements have. “Well, that’s real nice, Miss Brown.”

“You can call me Ryann,” she says softly.

“This is making me want to puke. Sooner you let me go, sooner you can bone her, mister.”

“Shut your piehole,” I bark. Cringing, I turn back to Ryann. “Found this piece of trash in the parking lot.”

“Did he hurt you?” she cries out. “Should I call 911?”

“I’m fine. Guess I should call Sheriff Gant.”

“I can call him,” she offers.

“I didn’t do nothing!” the kid protests. “I was just standing here—”

“With a gun in his pocket,” I explain. I tug on her trash, and this time she lets it go. “You go on inside and call Sheriff Gant, and I’ll make sure the trash gets taken care of.”

“He was spying on you!” he shouts as I drag him away. “He stood for like ten minutes and stared at you through the window!”

The kid trips into the side of a parked car. I may have helped him, but it shuts him up.

Ryann is stuck to the ground. “Go on, Ryann,” I say gently, even though the tips of my ears are burning. The bear tells me a claw to the kid’s stomach would shut him up. “Go inside and call the sheriff.” She nods and scurries inside.

“You’re a fucking perv. Let’s see what your sheriff thinks of you hanging around a chick young enough to be your daughter. You’re a fucking pedoperv.”

I let the bear bash the kid’s head into the dumpster as I toss the trash bag inside.

“You’re not telling the sheriff shit, kid.”

“Oh, you wait and see,” the kid cries, holding his head between his hands. “If you don’t let me go, I’m going to tell him everything.”

I drag him behind me as I walk toward the curb and wait for Sheriff Gant. In a contest between my pride and Ryann’s safety, her well-being will always win out. I’ll spin some story for Sheriff Gant that he can write in his report. I’ll probably go with the one I told Ryann, but later on, either tonight or sometime tomorrow, the sheriff and I will have a chat.

Once he learns that Ryann’s my mate and that I was watching out for her, he’ll let it slide with a warning. No getting caught, and I have to stop once she’s with a man. I know what the rules are. Watching is okay until she’s bonded to someone else.

I won’t enjoy Sheriff Gant knowing my business. He’s not a busybody, but at some point, it’s going to get out. And then I’ll have to suffer the pitying gazes—the ones the mated bears try to hide from the unmated bears. We bears aren’t meant to be alone. Lots of the single bears live around the Lodge, which is the main tourist destination of Pine Falls, just because they like the company.

I’m not much for other bears, but I can’t stay away from my mate. Not even the whole town knowing I’m on Ryann Brown’s invisible leash would keep me away.

It’s embarrassing, sure, but what’s the alternative? Not seeing her? That time will come soon enough.

I haul the piece of trash to the curb and force him to the ground. Gently, I explain, “You tell Sheriff Gant whatever you like. But you don’t come back here to Pine Falls. Not for anything. If you do, there won’t be big enough pieces of you to put in a trash bag. Got me?”

He looks at me with wide eyes, and it seems I’ve made my point. I nod in satisfaction. At least Ryann’s going to be safe tonight.

P
ine Falls is
a weird little place.

Most places are different. Take Detroit, for example. If you lived in Detroit, you probably wouldn’t leave your door unlocked or go around with the windows open. You’d probably freak out at finding a big, hulking neighbor lurking outside your house.

But this is Pine Falls, and if I’ve learned something about this place in the last three years or so, it’s that the locals like to be in each other’s business. Which is fine, because the neighbor in question is Mal Standard, and I’ve had a crush on the man ever since I was seventeen years old. So finding out that he’s peeping in my windows and hanging around outside?

I’m stupidly thrilled.

Mal’s the first person I remember meeting when I came to Pine Falls during my senior year of high school. Mom was entering rehab, and Dad was out of the picture, so Aunt Mary offered to take me in. I was lonely, bored, and out of sorts, so I got a job at the local grocery. Mal was there on my first day, and even though I couldn’t seem to ring up anything in his purchase correctly, he’d smiled at me and made me feel like
he
was the awkward one, not me. I’ve always remembered that.

He’s not a great-looking guy, Mal. He’s enormous and built thick—not fat, but just solid and strong as hell. I’ve seen him without his shirt on, and there’s not an inch to pinch. His face is a little rough around the edges, and his nose has been broken more times than a nose probably should have been, but there’s something about his face that attracts me. Maybe it’s the sheer masculinity he exudes. Maybe it’s the slight blush on his big, manly guy’s face when he talks to me. Maybe it’s the fact that he makes me feel special when he looks at me.

He thinks I don’t notice, but oh boy, do I notice.

So I jabber some offhand information to the sheriff and then hang up the phone quickly, all so I can go back outside and talk to Mal before he runs away again. He’s in his thirties, and I don’t think he likes girls as young as me…except I’m about to turn twenty-one, and I don’t give a crap about our age difference.

I more or less gallop back outside so I can talk to him.

Mal’s still there, the thug at his feet. He’s got the kid by the collar, and he looks so casually lethal that it makes me shiver. God, he’s sexy. I jam my hands in my jean pockets and stroll back out to him. “Sheriff’s on his way.”

“Good.” That’s all Mal says. Just “good.”

“You gonna have this pervert arrested?” the kid yells, gesturing at Mal. “He’s fucking staring in at you. I bet he does that shit every night. Goddamn creep.”

I tilt my head and rock on my heels, the picture of casualness. My heart’s racing at the thought, though. Every night? Really? Mal has a distinctly uncomfortable look on his face that tells me the kid’s comment isn’t that far off from the truth, and a warm flush moves over me.

Does Mal…like me? I smile. “Well, I’m glad you were here tonight, because you kept me safe.”

Mal grunts.

Even though it’s a little chilly due to the late hour, I stay and chat to Mal while we wait for the sheriff to arrive. Or rather, I chat about the weather and football and whatever I can think of, and Mal just gives me an occasional monosyllabic answer that lets me know he’s listening. It’s a little frustrating, but it’s also hard to have a conversation with someone when you’re holding a thug down.

The sheriff arrives, takes our statements, and Mal promises to show up at the police station tomorrow morning for additional paperwork. It’s been an hour, and I’m freezing cold at this point, but I’m also determined to talk to Mal and find out what the situation really is. We watch as the sheriff’s patrol car heads back down the street, and then I turn to Mal. I smile brightly at him. “Wanna come in for some coffee?”

It takes him a moment to respond, but he eventually shakes his head. “I shouldn’t—”

“I’ll feel better if you check out my house to make sure no one else is hiding nearby,” I volunteer quickly. “Please, Mal?”

That gets him. He wavers for a moment, and then gives me an abrupt nod. Success. I reach for his arm and guide him in like he’s my prom date.

My tiny townhouse isn’t much to look at. Most of my furniture is hand-me-downs, and my walls are bare of anything except a wolf poster or two that I got from work. I haven’t had much time or inclination to decorate. This place doesn’t feel like home to me. My lease is up in a few months, and I guess I need to decide if I’m going to stay in Pine Falls or seek out somewhere else.

I wonder…if I told Mal I was thinking about leaving, would he encourage me to stay? Or would he just go silent again and let me walk away?

I’m disturbed at the answer I keep coming to. With a sigh, I push my door open and step in. “I really appreciate you being so neighborly.”

Mal grunts another response and immediately heads for my back door. He checks a closet along the way, and I head into the kitchen to put on my coffee pot. My newly made macaroni and three-meat casserole is cooling on the counter, and I dish him up a generous portion of that as well. I give my rickety dining table a quick swipe with a towel and then light two candles and set the table for two.

Let’s see if he can resist the obvious.

I sit down and place a napkin in my lap, my own plate untouched in front of me. A moment later, Mal strolls in. “Everything seems to be clear—” He cuts off at the sight of the table I’ve set: coffee, hot, cheesy casserole, and candles. His eyes narrow, and I worry I’ve made a mistake.

So I decide to play it casual. I pick up my fork and gesture at his plate. “It’s getting cold. Help yourself.” I take a bite, waiting to see if he’s going to run or if he’s going to sit down and join me.

He thumps into the seat, looks at me, and then begins to shovel food into his mouth. It’s clear he wants to get out of here, and I admit my feelings are a teensy bit hurt by that. “Am I that terrible to be around?” I say, and force a laugh from my throat.

Mal freezes and looks distinctly uncomfortable. He swallows hard and then says, “Food’s good.”

I relax. Maybe he’s just not good with people. Maybe I’m coming on too strong. You wouldn’t think that lighting two fricking candles would make a man panic, but it’s clear that Mal’s uncomfortable. Or maybe it’s me. Maybe he’s not attracted to me and is trying to let me down easy. I bite back my sigh of frustration and give him a smile. “You like it? I figure you can’t go wrong with a lot of meat and cheese.”

He nods and eats another forkful. I toy with mine.

Uncomfortable silence falls. After a moment, Mal clears his throat. “How’s work?”

I shrug. “Slow. One of the grants was recently revoked, and so they’re looking for ways to cut back in the spring.” It also means I might not have a job in a couple of months, but I’m not entirely sure if that’s a bad thing. Pine Falls is great, and I love my Aunt Mary, but I’m lonely. I want to date. Heck, I’d love to date Mal, but I seem to be completely invisible to the world here. I’m starting to think Pine Falls isn’t the fresh start I wanted. I poke at my food again. I’m not sure how to make a guy like Mal want me. No matter what I do, I’m invisible. I could walk out in front of him naked and he’d comment on the weather.

I sigh.

“You okay?”

I look up, startled. Was that out loud? “Just a little antsy.”

“You want me to look around your place again?”

I shake my head and stab a macaroni noodle with my fork. “Nah. It’s okay.”

He grunts and takes a sip of coffee.

“You should probably be careful for bears out there anyhow. I keep thinking I see one in the forest behind the house.” Our townhouses are on the edge of the woods, and sometimes I see deer, sometimes other wildlife.

Mal chokes on his coffee.

“You okay?” I get up from my chair, grab a roll of paper towels, and offer him one.

He slams a big hand against his chest and coughs. I move to his side and give him a polite pat on the back. At my touch, he immediately jumps from his chair. “I should go,” he chokes out. He nods at me and then races toward the door. A moment later, he disappears, and I’m left with the saddest dinner for two ever.

Sigh.

I blow out the candles, clean up my kitchen, and head upstairs for bed. It’s warm in my bedroom, and I like the cool night air, so I open the window and pull the curtains aside. The stars are bright, and I wonder if I’ll see the bear lurking in the woods again tonight. For some reason, the sight of it never scares me. I just feel…less alone when it’s around.

Kinda like how I felt when I found out Mal was watching me.

I wonder if he’s still watching me. I hook the curtains behind the stays and then rip off my T-shirt in full view of the window. There’s nothing but forest behind my townhouse, so I’m not worried someone will see me.

Rather, I’m hoping a certain someone will see me.

I strip off the rest of my clothes, and then my hand slides to my pussy. I’m naked and brazen in front of my window.

Maybe I should put on a show in the hopes that Mal’s watching. Maybe then he’ll get the idea.