Shell House (13 page)

       
There had been the odd call from the few members of his family that were left, like his sister Maggie and his cousin Jane, but they seemed distant and unsympathetic, as though they didn’t want to be tarred with the events that were unfolding. The only person outside the family who had stood by them all had been Catherine. Harry had told her not to visit because of the reporters, but she’d telephoned every few days to see if they needed anything and that had meant the world to them all. There was also his dear old friend the sea, whom Harry knew would never let him down.

       
“What’s up, Dad?”

       
I want to talk to you about Gabrielle. In private.” Harry looked past Jonathan at the door signalling for him to close it.

       
“I’m glad you’ve said that because I was going to have a word with you myself.”

       
“Oh, what about?”

       
“No, you go first.”

       
“No, you.” Harry’s voice was becoming defensive and stern as though he knew what was coming next. He could tell by Jonathan’s patronising tone and demeanour that he wasn’t going to like what he had to say.

       
Jonathan sat himself down in the armchair by the fire opposite his father. He glanced briefly at the large box filled with paperwork and old newspapers, but he didn’t register it or didn’t feel inclined to ask what they were.

       
“I’m a bit concerned about how long she’s going to stay. I mean, how long is this going to go on for?”

       
Harry looked at his son in utter bewilderment. “How long is this going to go on?”

       
“Well, yes. We all have lives to get back to. Even you, Dad. You can’t stay cooped up here like a hermit for the rest of your life.”

       
“This is it. This is our lives; things change son; that is part of life. I’m sorry if this inconveniences you. I had thought you’d built bridges with your sister, seeing how you’ve been getting along so well. Quite clearly, it’s all been a farce, like the bloody friends I’m supposed to have in the village.”

       
“You can’t blame them, Dad. She killed two children and blew the community apart. You must be able to understand they don’t want her here? You made a choice all those years ago and they stuck by you for it.”

       
Harry’s cold, gnarled hands began to turn white because he was wringing them so hard, as his temper began to rise. “You’re right as always…”

       
“Good, I knew you’d see sense. I don’t mind telling her to leave if you can’t face it.” Jonathan stood up as though he were about to get on with the task immediately.

       
“I hadn’t finished what I was saying.” Jonathan sat back in his chair realising his father was irritated.

       
“I’m making a choice now. The right choice this time, which is to stand by my daughter.”

       
“What? You don’t know what you’re saying!”

       
“It’s quite clear. I’d like you to leave now. You want your old life back, for things to chug along as before then I suggest you go. I thought you were genuine in your kindness and that it encompassed us all, but it’s quite apparent it was all for my benefit, to get back into my good books.”

       
“Don’t be ridiculous! You don’t even know her! She’s a bad egg and you’re making a terrible mistake!”

       
The two men were both standing now, squaring up to one another.

       
“I’ll decide if I’m making a mistake or not. I’m doing what I should have done years ago.”

       
For quite some time father and son stared at one another. Harry’s eyes were filled with disappointment that Anna leaving hadn’t really changed anything. Jonathan’s were filled with jealousy and anger.

       
“You called that journalist, didn’t you?”

       
“Of course I didn’t! Don’t be so bloody stupid!”

       
“I’d like you to leave now.”

       
“Come on, Dad, you’re being absurd.”

       
“Fine, I’m being absurd but please respect my wishes and go. I have things I need to do.”

       
Jonathan finally looked away, and giving in to his father’s request, he walked out.

       
Harry took a few deep breaths and then went and sat as his desk and stared out at his dear old friend, the sea, quietly asking in his mind if he was doing the right thing. Once he was satisfied he picked up the telephone and called a fellow Barrister friend to ask his advice about setting up an appeal case for Gabrielle.

CHAPTER
FIVE

        Harry didn’t recognise the woman who walked into his sitting room a day later. He jumped up from his seat thinking it was a reporter. He very quickly realised it was Gabrielle and ceased the tirade of abuse which was about to fall from his mouth.

       
“What’s all this? I didn’t recognise you for a minute! What have you done to your hair? It looks very...well…”

       
“I know its awful Dad but at least I look completely different. That was the whole point.”

       
“Point of what? No one can see you in here, dear heart.”

       
“Yes, but they can out there and I need to be as unrecognisable as possible. I’ve decided to go away.” Gabrielle raised her hand to silence him, aware that he was about to protest. “It’s for the best. You all need your lives back and none of this is going to go away any time soon. I’m not feeling sorry for myself; I just want to do what’s right. As soon as this dies down and we try to continue with our lives the media will pounce again.”

       
Harry sat down carefully in his chair, resting his elbows on his knees; he clasped his hands together and contemplated what she had said. She followed him and sat in the chair opposite.

       
“But where will you go? They’ll only find you and you’d have to move again. You’re best off here love. It’ll all go away eventually.”

       
“I’m going to apply for a new identity as I did before. I was granted anonymity indefinitely some years ago so it won’t be a problem. I was thinking of going up north, as far as my licence will allow me to, and that seems as good a place as any. Far enough away from all this anyway.” She knew her words were cold and cruel but she couldn’t help it, she’d discovered so much anger simmering inside her over the last few days.

       
“But we don’t want you to go. You won’t know anyone there.”

        “With all due respect, Dad, I’ve had to do it many times throughout the course of my life.”

       
Her cool attitude didn’t go unnoticed; it was as though she’d shut herself off from him, detached herself somehow. With her hair hacked short Harry felt like he was talking to a stranger.

       
“You don’t know me, not really. You just think you do. This has changed everything for me and it’s brought back a lot of memories, which affects our relationship.”

       
Harry felt an immediate pain through his chest. “I thought we were getting along really well?”

       
“We were but it’s all changed and I feel like I can’t breathe. I’ll never be free of all this and I know I don’t deserve to be, but I’m trapped all over again like I was when I was in prison.”

        
“I hardly think this is like being in a Secure Unit, now come on...”

       
“And I’m angry, Dad. I’m angry with everyone. I’ve got this sudden rage that’s ignited inside me for the first time in years and the more comments you make like that, the more pissed off I’ll become.”

       
Harry sighed heavily. “Well, I’m sorry you feel like that, Gabrielle, I really am.”

       
She paused and they stared at one another. Harry new exactly what she was going to say before she said it.

       
“Only I’m not Gabrielle and you’re not really my Dad.”

       
Harry frowned. He could feel his body turning cold with the shock of what she’d said and he knew the pain would hit him later.

        
“You weren’t even aware I went to prison, were you?”

        
“It was a Secure Unit. I hardly think that’s the same.”

       
“It was a Secure Unit and I went to prison when I turned sixteen. For eight years. And do you know why?”

       
Harry shook his head, tears flooding his tired eyes.

       
“It was all because of my age and the Home Office decided that was the law. I was doing really well up until that point. Dr. Jeffers had organised for me to go to college so that I could have a career.”

       
“Who is Dr. Jeffers and what the bloody hell are you talking about?”

       
“See?! You don’t know! You don’t know anything about what happened to me because the bottom line is, you didn’t care!”

       
Tears streamed down Gabrielle’s face as she tried to gulp back the sobs. The air crackled between them and Harry watched her as if he were seeing a completely different person. It was as though she’d regressed back to being a little girl.

       
“I did care. Had your Mother been alive things might have been different but I did the best I could at the time....” Harry’s voice broke as his emotions got the better of him and he got up and walked to the window to try and compose himself.

       
“Yes, and that was my fault as well.” She almost spat at him.

       
“Is that what you really think?” He turned to look at her.

       
“You made it quite clear I wasn’t wanted.”

       
Harry closed his eyes, smarting at her cruel words.

       
“If you felt like that then I’m sorry. You can be assured you were very much wanted. I naively thought you would both survive. You know that. I’ve told you a thousand times.”

       
“Thought she’d survive you mean. Then I’d have never been born and none of this would have happened.” Gabrielle’s emotions began to overwhelm her and all she could do was sob uncontrollably. She knew she was behaving like a child and being cruel and Harry felt like he was facing the difficult little person she had once been. She was quite clearly unravelling and he had no way of stopping her.

       
“I’ll never be free of this guilt, ever.”

       
Harry wandered back to his chair and sat down; he knew better than to try and comfort her. “If I didn’t care I wouldn’t be exploring the possibility of an appeal. An appeal to clear your name because I don’t believe you did it.”

       
Gabrielle stared at him and tried to form a response; she couldn’t believe what he’d just said. Eventually she stood up from her chair.

       
“I thought you’d be pleased.” Harry almost whispered; his voice seemed to be escaping him.

       
“Why didn’t you do it all those years ago when I needed you then?”

       
“I don’t bloody know!” He roared at her.

       
Silence fell like a mist between them and they stared at one another defiantly.

       
“As much as you don’t want to believe this Dad, I did kill those children. Those are the facts so you better get used to it.”

       
Gabrielle left Harry alone in the half light of the sitting room, as the afternoon drew to a close, and went upstairs to pack her case.

       
Harry sat for quite some time, unable to believe how their relationship had dramatically changed in such a short period. But then he wondered whether it had always been there bubbling underneath the surface, and all along they had just been being terribly polite.

       
Maybe it was inevitable that things would alter between them. It had all been so sudden and he felt as though it had all unravelled and he now had to sort through the mess and face up to it all. Face memories that knotted and twisted his insides because he felt so guilty.

         
Perhaps things had been best left alone and he wished, as much as it hurt him, that everything could go back to how it was before Gabrielle came back into their lives.