Sheikh's Mail-Order Bride (15 page)

‘Thank you,' Kadar said softly.

Constance couldn't help smiling. ‘No, thank you.'

He shook his head, kissing her brow, smiling back—a soft smile she had not seen before. ‘Not for the kisses, that pleasure was mutual, I hope.'

‘Very,' she said, unable to resist pushing his hair back from his brow, allowing her fingers to trail down his cheek, from smooth skin to rough stubble.

He took her hand, pressing another kiss on her palm. ‘I want to thank you, Constance, for reminding me that I am not only a prince, but a man.'

‘Kadar, when I look at you I always see the man first, the prince second.'

He laughed at that, keeping her hand in his, pulling her over to the mound of cushions which she kept by the telescope. ‘I want to talk to you about something.'

‘That sounds serious,' she said, seating herself with her back to the wooden frame.

He sat beside her, cross-legged. She had tried, but she had never quite been able to mimic that misleadingly relaxed-looking pose. His feet were bare. High arches, just like hers. She had noticed them before. Here? No, on the beach, the first day they rode out together.

‘I've decided I'm not going to get married,' Kadar said, startling her from her reverie.

‘What?' Constance stared at him in astonishment, thinking she must surely have misheard him.

‘I can't do it. No, it's not that. I won't do it.'

Her jaw dropped. ‘But why not? What made you reconsider—Kadar, have you thought of the consequences? The dowry—you said you needed it to implement your plans.'

‘I do,' he said wearily, ‘but I won't marry for money, and that is what it amounted to.'

‘But what will you do?'

‘I have no idea. The ramifications are too great for me to even contemplate right now. I intend to honour the pledges I made today. I owe it to my people to implement my plans, but not at the cost of betraying my conscience, which I would do if I married merely to obtain the funds to underpin my grand design. I must find another way. I will find another way—somehow. I don't know, Constance.' He raked his fingers through his hair. ‘I have only just reached that conclusion, and have not thought any of it through. Today has been life-defining, but not in the way that I imagined. I'm sorry, it is none of your business, but I thought...'

‘That I would understand,' she said, taking his hand between hers.

‘Yes.' His fingers gripped hers. ‘The situations are not the same, but there are... Not similarities but parallels.'

She smiled to herself. Even under extreme duress Kadar was so careful with his words. But his grip reminded her that he
was
under extreme duress. ‘Tell me,' she said gently. ‘Perhaps it will help to talk it through. Then you will know how to act.'

‘I don't know where to begin.'

‘Well, as with all good stories, one begins at the beginning.'

There it was again, that odd flicker, almost a blink, of his right eye. If she was not watching him so closely, if it had been night and not almost dawn, she would have missed it. It was followed by a long silence, while Kadar retreated behind his inscrutable look before finally spoke. ‘Then I will begin with my trip to Nessarah,' he said. ‘I journeyed there after I took my oath to this kingdom, after I had buried my brother. I went with every intention of breaking off the betrothal to the Princess Tahira. Assuming responsibility for my brother's kingdom was a huge shock for me as you know. I had no desire to assume responsibility for his intended wife in addition.'

‘Even though you knew that there was a large dowry at stake?'

‘Yes. At the time I thought only of myself, of my own feelings, which were— I was not yet thinking as a prince, Constance, but as a man. One who knew he would never marry. Taking a bride for the sake of her dowry, for the sake of my newly inherited kingdom certainly did not sit well with me. But I had not then considered the situation from my people's perspective, thought about what that money might mean for them, provide for them.'

‘Is that what forced your change of heart?'

He hesitated. ‘I will be honest with you. I think if I had not interrupted my journey to Nessarah, I would have acted with my instincts and broken the contract, but en route I paid a visit to an old friend in a neighbouring kingdom. Azhar had, by a strange twist of fate, also recently been crowned—in Qaryma they use the title “King.” He too had spent his most recent years abroad making a different life for himself, though sadly our paths never crossed. He asked me what I intended to do now that I was Prince of Murimon, and I told him, somewhat flippantly, “Try to make a better prince than my illustrious and much-loved elder brother.” Though I had no idea what that meant, it made me question whether my first act, of cancelling an alliance which Butrus had made, and which was very popular with his people, was the wisest of decisions.'

‘But you told me you wanted to be different from Butrus.'

Kadar nodded. ‘I do now, but then...'

‘You had just lost your brother, you had gained a kingdom you never thought would be yours and you were contemplating the loss of all you had achieved for yourself since you left here,' Constance said, pressing his hand. ‘You were shipwrecked, just like me.'

‘Yes, I think I was. I was also— Azhar made me realise I was also being arrogant. It was he who reminded me that I had a kingdom to rule, and that nothing—not even what he called my precious books—must take precedence over that. His words made me see that I was being self-indulgent, putting my needs first. By the time I reached Nessarah, I had resolved not to break the betrothal, but to postpone the marriage. With hindsight I see that I was buying myself some time in order to reconcile myself to the situation.'

‘Did you meet the Princess while you were there? Did you discuss the matter with her?'

‘Nessarah is a very traditional kingdom. Women there wear the veil. In the palace, they live a separate life in the harem. My meeting with Princess Tahira was heavily chaperoned, though it was sufficient for me to be sure of her utter indifference to me—and I to her. It made me very uneasy, but again I was selfish, thinking only of myself, thinking all that mattered was to steel myself. Only recently, only because I have been drawing parallels between our situations, have I come to consider her feelings—or lack of them. It shames me.'

‘Kadar,' Constance said tentatively, ‘you must be very careful not to draw these parallels too closely. This Princess Tahira—it may well be that what you took for indifference was simply shyness or even understandable trepidation. She doesn't know you. She will have had no say in the matter, but she must certainly be feeling, at the very least, like a—a parcel, handed from one prince to the next without any consultation. You can hardly have expected her to throw herself adoringly at your feet.'

He laughed, but it was a bitter sound. ‘You say nothing which has not occurred to me—recently, that is. Whatever her feelings, she had no more choice than you but to acquiesce. And like you, once we were married, she would have no choice but to feign affection, to play the amenable wife. Cupboard love, is how I believe you described it.'

And so she had, and it was the truth, but Constance felt distinctly uncomfortable. ‘There is one big difference though, Kadar,' she said. ‘You are a man of honour and integrity. Were you to marry this Princess, you would do everything in your power to make her happy.'

‘Your faith in me is flattering, but you contradict your own logic. You imply that I could force the Princess Tahira to be happy, yet you insist that only you can be responsible for your own happiness. When it comes down to it, my decision is not based on the Princess Tahira's feelings for me or lack of them. My own feelings are the only ones of which I can be certain. I will sacrifice almost anything for my kingdom, but not my integrity.' He slipped his hand from hers. ‘I thought you would endorse my decision. I thought that this marriage which my brother arranged was as repugnant to you as your marriage was to me.'

‘That's the first time you've actually admitted to that.'

He smiled faintly. ‘I didn't need to. You seem able to discern my innermost thoughts with ease.'

‘You think so?' Constance exclaimed in surprise. ‘I find your mind almost impossible to read. Especially when you do that—that Sphynx look.'

‘I beg your pardon, that what look?'

She tried, but completely failed to imitate it, succeeding only in making her eyes roll and her mouth pucker as if she were sucking a lemon. ‘Don't laugh. It is no laughing matter, and anyway you know perfectly well what I mean. You always do, my mind is an open book to you.'

‘On the contrary. Your reaction tonight has surprised me.'

Constance bit her lip. The truth was, she was horribly relieved by his decision, and that, following the realization of just how much she had come to care for him, had set her completely off-kilter. ‘When I told you that I was not going to India, your first reaction was defensive. You wanted me to assure you my decision had nothing to do with my feelings for you—I mean, nothing to do with the attraction between us,' she corrected herself hastily.

Kadar nodded slowly. ‘You seek similar assurance that your presence here, our relationship, however one chooses to define it, has not influenced my decision?'

‘Well, has it?'

He leaned back and stared up at the cool morning sky. The sun had not risen, but the stars were all gone. ‘The contrast between my desire for you and my complete lack of desire for the Princess is one of the things which has made me reconsider, but it is not the main factor. It is quite simple really. I do not love her and I cannot in conscience marry a woman I do not love.'

‘You don't know her, Kadar.'

‘But I have known love, and I know that the princess could never hold a similar place in my heart. No one could,' he said. ‘It is not possible to match perfection, far less improve on it. And even if it was, I doubt the fates would be so very cruel as to allow history to repeat itself in this twisted manner.'

‘What twisted manner?'

But Kadar was rising to his feet, staring out at the horizon, where the sky was beginning to change colour, the first intimation of the sun's appearance. ‘So you may put your mind at rest. My decision was mine alone.'

Constance scrabbled off the cushions to join him, determined not to allow him to shut her out, tugging on the sleeve of his tunic. ‘Are you relieved to have come to a decision? Only I was vastly relieved, even though I still have no idea what the ramifications might be, and actually when I think about it I'm quite terrified, but I'm still more relieved than scared, and I expect at some point I'll be excited.'

She was rewarded with a warm smile. ‘You know I can help smooth the path to your future if you'll let me.'

‘No.'

‘Constance, I don't mean money. I am not without influence.'

‘I hadn't considered that.'

‘Then please do.'

‘Yes, but you haven't answered my question, Kadar.'

He laughed somewhat bitterly. ‘Yes, I am relieved, but like you, rather daunted by the ramifications. I need to think about it very carefully, somehow find another way to discharge my duty to my people without compromising my own integrity. Then there is the Princess Tahira and her family. They will be expecting me to act on my promise to set a date for the wedding following my coronation. The whole thing will have to be managed with diplomatic sensitivity, observing every custom minutely, so for now it must remain our secret.'

‘Well, I'm hardly likely to blurt it out to Abdul-Majid during one of our language lessons.'

Kadar shuddered. ‘I should hope not. What sort of teacher is he proving to be?'

‘Surprisingly
amenable
,'
Constance said, choosing the word deliberately. She recited several phrases, and when Kadar looked impressed, several more.

‘You are making very good progress. Your pronunciation is excellent. Have you a facility for languages?'

‘I don't know. I can read French and German—oh, and Latin—but I've never had much chance to speak them. I am enjoying it though. We have been discussing books. Abdul-Majid is extremely well read. It is a pity you cannot bring yourself to like him, for I have found our discussions extremely interesting, and I gather that he has no one else who shares his passion.'

‘He did have,' Kadar replied. ‘Once.'

His wife? She waited for enlightenment, but he seemed to have nothing else to say on the subject, so Constance resolved to pursue it with Abdul-Majid herself. Besides, there were so many other more fascinating subjects whirling about in her head. She gazed out at the sunrise, distracted by its beauty. ‘I could never tire of this.'

‘Nor I.'

Kadar was not looking at the sunrise. Kadar was looking at her, and there was a heat in his eyes that was considerably warmer than the sun's rays. That kiss. Those kisses. She had thought them an end in themselves, but her traitorous body had other ideas now. ‘I thought I saw a comet last night,' Constance said, because she had to say something. ‘I thought it would be a good omen for you, on your coronation day.'

‘They are more often seen as portents of natural disasters,' Kadar said. ‘Earthquakes. Droughts.'

‘And cats,' Constance said. ‘There was an outbreak of the sneezing sickness in cats in Prussia following the sighting of a comet.'

Kadar laughed. ‘That tale is new to me. A comet tale, one might say.'

He was still looking at her in
that
way. She suspected she was looking back at him in exactly the same way. ‘Anyway,' Constance said, ‘it transpires it was only a shooting star.'

‘So no omen, good or bad.'

‘You don't need one. It is written in the stars that you will be the best prince Murimon has ever had.'