Chapter Twenty
Although just yesterday she had been banging and ringing the doorbell like a madwoman, today she hesitated pushing the doorbell. She wondered if he would even open the door if he looked out of the peephole and saw that it was her standing there. She couldn't blame him if he didn't. So she gathered up the necessary courage that allowed her to push the button.
Tamarra stood on the little porch of Maeyl's apartment waiting, hoping that he'd answer the door. A few moments went by and there was no answer. She looked back over her shoulder just to confirm that her eyes hadn't played tricks on her; that Maeyl's car was in its assigned parking space. Once she confirmed that his car was in fact there, she prepared to knock on the door. Just as she raised her fist to make contact, she heard the locks clicking, and then the door opened.
“Tamarra,” Maeyl said as if surprised to see her. “Come on in.” He opened the door and stepped aside for her to enter.
She couldn't believe how welcoming and warm his greeting was. He was acting like she wasn't the woman standing in his living room twenty-four hours ago yelling at the top of her lungs and swinging her fists. Or the woman who acted as if he didn't even exist while at church today. How could he be so forgiving so fast?
“How are you? Are you okay?” Maeyl asked her, aware of all the gawking and gossiping she had to deal with today at church.
“You know what, Maeyl, as a matter of fact, I think I am okay.”
“Good. Because I know there was a lot of staring and whispering going on today at church. Pastor even asked me to come into the office and have a chat this morning before service.”
“Oh, my,” Tamarra said, digesting the confirmation that she wasn't the only one affected by the situation. She'd come there to apologize to Maeyl for her behavior. She wanted to tell him that she didn't blame him for posting those pictures. Especially after the way she'd tried to force him to keep their relationship a secret as if they were doing something dirty. Now a part of her was beginning to think that perhaps Maeyl didn't have anything to do with the posting of those pictures after all. Why would he want to subject himself and his character to the criticism of the church just to spite her wishes? On top of that, why would he subject himself to having to be confronted by the pastor?
“What did Pastor say to you?” Tamarra asked him.
“Well, I was asked about our relationship, of course.”
Tamarra swallowed. “What did you say?”
“The truth. The clean truth, which is what I wanted to do all along.”
Tamarra put her head down in guilt. “And what did Pastor say?”
“Pastor thanked me for clearing things up, but wished we hadn't added to the situation by being so secretive. Pastor felt that our secrecy alone gave people reason to doubt our intentions.”
“What else did Pastor say?” Tamarra asked, wondering if their pastor had come flat out and asked if they were taking their relationship to an ungodly level as the pictures insinuated.
“That's about it. The church secretary knocked on the door to let us know the leaders were waiting in the conference room for morning prayer. Pastor is supposed to be calling me this afternoon to talk more about the situation.”
Tamarra had to ask. “Did you happen to mention to Pastor that it was my wish to not bring our relationship to the forefront?”
“No. How would that have mattered? I'm a grown man. I made a choice. I'm not Adam in the Garden of Eden, and you put the forbidden fruit to my lips and told me to bite it, then I turn around and tell God it was all your fault. My spirit felt differently about the situation, and I didn't obey it. That's my fault.”
“Actually, that's why I'm here. I do feel as though I pushed you to go against your spirit, so I'm here to apologize. I also want to apologize for the way I acted yesterday. I was a maniac.”
Tamarra waited on Maeyl to accept her apology, but all he did was stand there as if he were waiting for yet another apology. “What?” Tamarra asked.
“You don't have something else you want to apologize to me for?”
Tamarra thought for a moment, but couldn't come up with anything.
“Like accusing me of posting those pictures on the Web site in the first place? I mean, you didn't even ask me if I did it. You just assumed I did, and then didn't even give me a chance to explain.”
“You're right, and I apologize for that too.” Tamarra hoped Maeyl could forgive her.
“Apology accepted,” Maeyl finally said, bringing a smile to Tamarra's face. “Now that's the face that belongs to the woman I love,” Maeyl smiled in return. It was at the same time both he and Tamarra realized the words he'd just spoken.
Tamarra's heart melted. Here she stood before a man she'd only been dating a couple of months, but had known for several years. And he'd just confessed his love to her. Was it possible that there was life after divorce? That there was love after divorce? Everything in her told her that, yes, there was. But still, there was another part of her that hesitated to believe such.
Maeyl didn't know what else to say. He never expected to express his love for a woman without knowing for sure that she loved him too. He wanted to avoid an awkward situation such as this where the woman didn't say it back in return. Maeyl cleared his throat and asked, “Have you eaten yet?”
“Uh, no,” Tamarra said.
“How about we go grab something to eat? We can drive to Columbus or something if you like,” Maeyl suggested.
“Sounds good. But if you don't mind, I got a taste for Family Café.” Tamarra smiled and winked.
“You got it!” Maeyl exclaimed. “Let me just go slip out of this church suit into something cooler. For it to be October, the weather is warm.” Maeyl loosened his tie as he headed for the steps.
Tamarra knew Maeyl was the one. How could she have been so stupid and think he would set out to hurt her? It was time she put down her guards and let love in. That's just what she intended to do as the confession of Maeyl's love for her settled into her heart.
“Maeyl,” she called out to him when he was almost all the way up the steps.
“Yes?” he asked.
“Iâ” Tamarra started before she was cut off by Maeyl's ringing cell phone that was on the table. “Uh, your uh, cell phone is ringing,” she copped out.
“Just let it ring. I'll call them back,” Maeyl said as he went on up the steps.
“Stupid phone,” Tamarra said to herself.
“Did you say something?” Maeyl called down.
“Oh, I just said, nice phone,” she lied, then repented.
“Oh, thanks,” Maeyl said. “Oh shoot!”
“What's wrong?”
“I forgot that Pastor was supposed to call. That might have been the call. Can you check to see if that was Pastor's number that showed up on the caller ID?”
“Sure,” Tamarra said, picking up the phone and checking to see if she recognized the most recent number that showed up under missed calls. “Yes, it was Pastor.”
“Shoot, I'll just have to return that call before we head out.”
As Tamarra heard Maeyl's footsteps above her head, she pushed a couple of buttons to exit out of the missed calls. In doing so, she accidentally ended up in downloaded pictures. When she pushed yet another button to try to get from that screen, she couldn't believe her eyes when a picture showed up on the screen; a picture that was none other than one that had been posted on the church Web site.
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Tamarra couldn't believe she had almost fallen for the okey doke. Maeyl's cell phone ringing right before she could confess her feelings to him was divine intervention. That's how she saw it anyway. And then him asking her to check his phone and her stumbling upon that picture was no accident either. There was no good reason for him to have that picture on his phone unless his phone had been the one that had taken it. It hurt seeing the truth with her own eyes, but all of these things were supposed to be revealed to her before she got in too deep.
Her ringing phone interrupted her thoughts, and thank God too. She was seconds from going through a red light and into oncoming traffic. She looked down at her cell phone and saw just the number she had expected to see; Maeyl's. Tamarra rejected the call knowing exactly what he wanted. He wanted to know why it was that when he came downstairs from changing out of his church suit he found her gone. Hopefully when he picked up his cell phone he saw the picture she'd left up on the screen and knew exactly why she'd made an exit without telling him so much as good-bye.
Yesterday she'd gotten out of character quite a bit. But today, she didn't think the grace of God could keep her from losing her Christianity, albeit temporarily. She'd found proof that Maeyl was the culprit who'd somehow gotten someone to help him take the picture with his phone, and then post it to the Web site. She was no longer going to entertain him or his lies.
“How could I have been so stupid?” she asked herself, slamming her fists against her steering wheel, imagining how good it would feel to be slamming them upside Maeyl's head.
Tamarra knew that it wasn't a good idea to speak to Maeyl. Not right now. Not ever. And if he knew what was good for him, he'd keep his distance and not even think about trying to speak to her at church on Sunday, if she went. Sure this morning she was singing along with “Ain't no devil in hell gonna keep me from my Lord.” But she had to admit that a devil on earth might be able to keep her away from New Day.
“Yes, that's exactly what I probably need to do,” Tamarra told herself. “Get away from New Day and find a new church. Who needs all that drama anyway?” Tamarra turned on her radio, oblivious to the words that were playing:
“I'm so glad that God is not like man.”
“Don't worry, God,” Tamarra spoke to God over the music. “I'm not going to let the devil stop me from going to church and praising you. It's just that New Day doesn't seem to be the place for me anymore. I need a fresh start somewhere else. Yeah, that's exactly what I need.”
Tamarra's last comment was more to herself than God. She turned up the music and bopped her head at least two beats faster than the beat of the song itself. The music was so loud that she didn't hear her inner man warn her,
“You can run, but you can't hide . . . not from God.”
Chapter Twenty-one
Deborah had just finished editing a manuscript when her phone rang.
“Praise the Lord,” Deborah greeted through the phone receiver.
“Praise the Lord,” Mother Doreen replied.
“Mother Doreen . . .” Deborah hit the info button on her muted television in order to see what time it was. She knew it was late; after 8:00
P.M.
She had been hardcopy editing the last few pages of a manuscript while comfortably lying in her bed, looking up at the television every few minutes to see any election coverage updates. Thus far, Obama was kickin' McCain's butt. Although eight
P.M.
might not have been late for the average person, she knew it was for Mother Doreen. “Is everything okay?”
“Actually, I just got a call from my sister's doctor in Kentucky. She's had another relapse and is back in the hospital.”
“Her sugar again?”
“Yes, dear,” Mother Doreen stated. “We just can't seem to keep it under control.”
“Well, God is still in the healing business, so I'm sure if we all keep praying, He will heal her.”
“Oh, He's healed her already.” Mother Doreen sounded so sure.
Deborah was puzzled. If God had already healed Mother Doreen's sister, then why was she still sick and in and out of the hospital?
“When my sister first fell ill,” Mother Doreen continued, “we fasted and we prayed for that healing. Just the last time I was there I laid hands on that body and spoke to that illness. I rebuked it out of her body in prayer. And while we were praying, the praying turned into praise; praise for the healing that we knew was already done at that moment. Then the praise turned into worship. We couldn't help but bow down and worship the one who, with a single touch, answered a prayer.” Mother Doreen let out a shout just thinking about what God had done for her sister.
Deborah knew her God was a healer and she believed in the healing power, but if this was the case with Mother Doreen's sister, why was the illness still attacking her body? “So what was it that God healed her of that time?” Deborah asked, choosing her words carefully. She didn't want Mother Doreen to think she was a doubting Thomas, but at the same time, she wanted clarity.
“Her diabetes,” Mother Doreen confirmed. “See, God did His part. He healed my sister, only she didn't walk in the healing. She went right back to her old ways, eating Oreo's, fried chicken and drinking soda pop like it was going out of style. It's just like having the flu and God heals you from the flu, only you turn around and wash your hair, then leave it wet, put on shorts, and go outside barefoot in the dead of winter. How is that walking in a healing?”
“It's not,” Deborah said, finally getting where Mother Doreen was going with things. “It's like praying that God heals you from lung cancer while puffing on a cigarette.”
“Exactly, and that's basically what my sister is doing,” Mother Doreen said, hiding the frustration she was feeling toward her sister's behavior. “Anyway, I have to head back down to Kentucky. I don't know how long I'm going to be there this time. You know my sister has those two babies; my fourteen-year-old niece and sixteen-year-old nephew. Their daddy is always on the road driving that truck, so he can't tend to them like teenagers need to be tended to. Sometimes he's gone a week or two at a time. And I know Satan is just lurking around for a crack to slither into and try to disrupt their lives. Not under my watch. So I'm going to head down in the morning.”
“Did you need me to do something for you?” Deborah asked.
“Yes, that's why I called. I have an appointment on Thursday with one of the sisters at the church, just to go over some things regarding the Singles Ministry. I was wondering if you could meet with her for me. I want the ministry to continue to grow, and I don't want this sister to lose interest while I'm away. You're my backbone when it comes to running this ministry, so I knew I could call on you.”
How could Deborah decline after those kind words? “Sure, Mother Doreen, I'd be glad to. What time is the appointment?”
“It's Thursday at five-thirty
P.M.
in the church conference room.”
“No problem, Mother Doreen. I'll make sure I'm there. You be blessed, and I'll be praying, touching, and agreeing with you that your sister will begin to walk in her healing.”
“Thank you, dear. God bless, and I'll talk to you later.”
“Travel mercies and goodnight,” Deborah said. “Oh, Mother Doreen, what's the lady's name that I'm meeting?”
“Oh, just a second. Let me pull my appointment calendar out of my purse.” Deborah could hear some rustling in the background while Mother Doreen searched out her calendar. “Here it is. Helena Simmons. You know, that new child that came to the last meeting. Sister Helen, she goes by. All right then, dear. Goodnight.”
Before Deborah could even come up with an excuse as to why she suddenly couldn't do Mother Doreen this one solid, the line was already dead. In two days she'd be face-to-face, alone, with Helen. She didn't know if all of God's armor in the world could shield her from this evil.