“
I promise to call you next time I know I’ll be late. I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.”
Mom took a deep breath and sighed. “Alright, munchkin, get to bed. See you in the morning.”
***
Sunday morning I knew I would spend with Kian. He had promised to train me to fight. At breakfast, I explained my position to Mom.
“
So, Kian and I kinda have plans today.”
“
I don’t think so, Ali. I hardly know Kian. And I’ve never met Lucianda. Yesterday you came home late and all bruised up. I’m sorry, but I prefer you to stay home today.”
“
But...”
“
No buts. I mean it.”
“
Fine.” I pouted, puffing out my bottom lip. It was partly puffed from the brawl with the fanged demons last night and partly from disappointment.
I only saw Samuel briefly as he raced out the front door in uniform with toast in one hand and a file in the other. “See ya,” I called to him, but he barely heard me. I wondered how long it would take him to put all the pieces together. Tommy Bachelor-Dameon-Alley Murders-Kian-Me.
“
So what are you going to do today instead?” Mom asked, as if anything could be a consolation prize to going out with Kian.
“
Stay in my room and read. I have homework to catch up on anyway.” I really didn’t have that much homework. Since I quit school, Mom had arranged for all my assignments to come to the house directly, but since the bomb, no teachers had assigned anything. I imagined Monday would be different, and I might actually have to stay home and do some classwork. But today, I just wanted Mom to think I’d be too busy in my room to socialize much. I had other plans.
“
Alright, munchkin.” Mom kissed my forehead and walked to the porch. She had decorative pots on the floor. Bags of soil stood next to them. She would be repotting flowers.
In my room, I waited for Kian to appear. I had sensed him with me as I slept, but many mornings I missed him. He had a busy life. Demons to kill. Citizens to save. And eyes to keep on Dameon.
As I sat on my bed listening to Lady Gaga, Kian seeped underneath my window pane as the grey mist I had grown to know well lingered a few minutes on my skin in that coveted time we longed to spend together, before he morphed angel in front of me. White majestic wings fluttered up and down before stilling beside him, and his amber eyes stared deep into mine.
“
Are we going to do this?”
“
Yes, but one moment.” I hesitated before stuffing two pillows under my sheets and fluffing them in such a way that Mom might think I slept soundly there.
“
What are you doing?”
“
I just want to make sure my bed is made well.” I didn’t want to go into the details. Kian had already been against this whole teaching me to fight thing, and I didn’t want him knowing Mom was against me leaving today, too. I could see him refusing to take me today, and I just had to learn.
Kian looked confused. Even he knew that pillows under the sheet meant I was concealing something, but he didn’t ask. “Hop into my arms.” He stretched out his muscular arms; his chest was a warm haven. Snuggling there, I let Kian unlatch my window and fly out into the sky with me.
For the first few minutes I kept my eyes closed. I hated heights, and getting used to this movement in the sky took time. Eventually, I peeked and remembered what I saw when he first flew with me in his arms. It was a lot like being in a plane, but nicer because of the engulfing warmth. I saw the town growing smaller below us.
At the mansion, we passed through the piano room and through the crimson room with the library and headed to the mystery door which I had my eye on since I had first been there. Pushing the heavy mahogany door open, Kian held the door ajar with his foot.
“
So, I finally get to see what’s in here!”
“
Well, some of what is behind the door. Not everything. There are many private quarters at the mansion you will never see, but this first room is for training, and since you are convinced this is what you want...well, I will coach you here.
The room was very large. The walls were white, and the style simple. It was a square gym with a trampoline, swinging bars, climbing rope, boxing ring, and even a gymnast’s mat. On the walls hung a few training machines I had never even seen, machines with metal bars hanging both horizontally and vertically. The mats and machines appeared worn, as if Kian and the others had used this room often.
Kian grabbed me from behind, his hands over my shoulders, as he spun me around to face him. His eyes had never held such a mixture of romance and intensity. “Are you ready?”
“
Yes!” I said excitedly, not realizing yet what I had gotten myself into. Buckling my knees with a kick of his leg from behind, Kian knocked me to the ground, and I braced my fall with open hands. Damn, wasn’t ready for that!
“
You sure?”
“
I can do this!” I exploded with adamant fervor. I had to do this, or always rely on someone else to save my ass. Not that I minded Kian being there for me, or even the other angels. Their presence made me feel closer to heaven somehow. But there could be a day when no angel would be there to rescue me. I had to know how to fend for myself.
Kian lunged on top of me; I felt the weight of his muscular arms over the back of my forearms. One hard knee pressed against my lower back. How would I escape? This question became paramount, because demons used this maneuver all the time; Dameon had even used it on me. I felt the air from my lungs slowly seep out of me; I could suffocate.
Then Dameon’s dark shadow appeared below me, around me. I remembered the brawl we had in the bathroom, and the one in my bedroom. I relived the whole experience again. Except this time, I would defeat him. My nails clawed the wood floor below me as I pondered what to do next. Bending my legs, I kicked like a baby trying to crawl for the first time. But I couldn’t free myself.
As Kian held me down, I could only think of Dameon and how he sucked the power out of me and how I would never let that happen again. I kicked and kicked, the memory of the sound of my toes against the dirt of the alley only reminding me how futile my attempts were at this. My nails curled over as I raised my hands, fighting for my freedom. Scratching Kian’s arms on both sides, I felt a drop of his blood run over my fingers. I had dug too deeply, but the pain made him flinch, and an inch of arm came off of mine, giving me the leeway I needed to finally escape.
With my elbow free, I poked him in the ribs, and Kian tipped a bit to the right much like a rowboat on rushing waters. With my face to the ground, I imagined Dameon’s smug expression hovering over me; I could hear his scratchy, sinister growl-hiss.
Screaming, I finally felt a surge of strength I never knew I had.
I pushed myself off the floor with all the energy inside of me, as if all the residual anger I had against Dameon finally made its way out of my rumbling core and into my fragile arms. With the thrust of my push, I flung Kian off me, and he fell backward onto his back with a surprised smirk crossing his face. I rolled over and jumped to my feet. Towering over Kian I felt powerful, like I had all the control for the first time ever.
Diving on top of him, I dug my nails into his arms before my legs pinned his torso. I held him there like a sex-fiend awaiting her next fix, and in that instant I wanted him more than I had ever wanted anyone. Our eyes locked and he whispered, “You’ve finally found your strength.”
Feeling the brush of his breath over my chin and cheeks, I lowered my body closer to him. “My strength?”
“
You can never win without it.”
“
So, I’m winning then?” I teased, licking my lips.
“
Not just yet. You’re going to have to fight for it.” Kian winked and bumped his legs, knocking me into the air like a girl on a bull-ride. When I landed on my feet again, Kian had disappeared to the other side of the room, behind the trampoline. But at least I had balance; at least I hadn’t fallen on my ass. I was getting good at this. Maybe Lucianda wouldn’t be the lone human demon-hunter out there after all. I sensed she felt a bit alone in that role, but at least she had Jacob to keep her warm at night.
“
Focus, Ali!” Kian’s words turned my attention away from Lucianda and returned it to what we were doing. I couldn’t help but notice how hot he looked there against the wall. Ripped jeans, a white button-up shirt and disheveled hair. I wanted to lunge on top of him and eat him up...but I had to fight him. I had to remember this meant life or death. I had to see Dameon again, not the man I...loved.
In that moment I realized I had fallen in love with Kian. My heart beat faster. Nothing else seemed to matter. The room grew smaller somehow, and then tunnel vision led my cautious eyes over his body. I could only see him. Flashes of memories flooded my mind. The day we first met in the cafe. The roof top of the school. And now, him near my bed while I slept. Holding me while he flew the skies. Fighting demons to keep me alive. Hunting Dameon.
“
What?” Kian lost his aggression and shivered as he examined my expression. Strutting over to where I stood alone, he pulled me into his muscular chest. He read me like a book. It took him a second, but then he knew. My eyes always gave me away no matter how much I tried to hide. I shivered in his arms as we delighted in each other’s presence, a presence that must always remain distant.
I licked his neck until my tongue made way to his plump, shivering lips. This big, strong angel-man was shivering. The thought made me shiver more, because I understood exactly why. Everything inside him, everything inside me pushed us together, to share our flesh, to be one.
Soft stubble from his chin skimmed my forehead, and I let my head rest under his chin as my arms caressed his sides. As he stood there like a defrosting icicle, I pushed my hand over his groin and he groaned just before he pushed me away from him.
“
We can’t. I have to keep a clear head.”
We could never be, or else he could lose his angel wings and become like Jacob. How could he defend me well enough against Dameon then?
“
I know.” I lowered my head ashamed. “I’m sorry. I don’t know why I...”
“
You don’t have to apologize.” He pulled me into his chest again. So warm! “You don’t ever have to apologize for how you feel. I just have to make sure I get to Dameon before he gets to you, and I can’t do that with my wing feathers falling out.”
My mouth opened, wanting to say I was sorry again, wanting to bite his lips and pull him to me. Conflicting emotions churned deep inside me, and I was not sure what feeling dominated more. I felt more animalistic than human around him. But at least now I knew how I really felt about him; at least he finally knew too, but I had to say it, hear my words aloud as I watched him.
“
I love you.” The words lingered between us and his amber eyes rested on me, glowing like fire.
“
I love you, too.”
Nothing felt surer and more natural than those words that day. It was a day I would always remember.
Exposure
The
next day I awoke to find the silhouette of a man standing over my bed, hovering. “Kian?” I rustled against my sheets as I sat up rubbing my eyes. The figure stood silent. “Kian?”
Slipping my leg over the edge of the bed, I yawned, and the figure took a step forward. “No, Shrimp, it’s your brother Samuel. What would Kian be doing in your room in the morning anyhow?” He looked peeved.
My brain awoke immediately with a jolt of urgency. “I...I don’t know. I was dreaming, I guess.” I jumped out of bed and rushed to my closet. “What are
you
doing in my room, anyway?” I squinted my eyes and jerked my head in his direction as I gave him a disagreeable, you’re-way-over-the-boundary-line expression.
“
I have to talk to you, and I don’t want Mom hearing this.”
“
So important you have to barge into my room in the wee hours of morning?” I glanced over to the window where the first morning yellow-light was still trickling in, making designs on my floor. “And scare me to death!”
“
Hardly.” Samuel rolled his eyes at my exaggeration.
I threw my robe on over my cotton striped PJs and shut my closet with a loud thud. “Then what?”
“
I found Tommy’s iPhone, Shrimp.” I stood frozen until he patted the bed. “Come and sit; we have to talk.” He emphasized “have to” as if I had no other choice, but choices circled my mind: running out of the room and never returning, calling to Kian to fly me away, sealing my mouth shut.
Samuel patted the bed a second time, and I felt like I was ten years old again when I got caught stealing the pink lipstick from the make-up counter. He had given me a lecture then, and I felt like he’d give me one again. Same tone, same hard facial expression. But this time, I had seven more years of experience on me.
Plopping down next to him, I kept my gaze on the floor a moment before meeting his gaze. I would not let him break me. “So what?” I shrugged.
“
So it had your fingerprints all over it,”
“
My fingerprints?” I gasped wondering why my fingerprints were on file at the police station at all.
“
Yeah Shrimp, remember the time you and Molly got caught shop lifting in middle school. I fingerprinted you then.”
I lowered my head. “I remmeber.” Not my finest hour.