She Left Me Breathless (23 page)

Allen leaned back in his chair. With his elbows resting on the chair arms, he steepled his fingers together against his chin. His thoughts turned to Caitlyn and he felt his face flush.
She thinks she is so damn smart when she’s nothing more than a snot-nosed teenager. She doesn’t belong in the corporate world. The corporate jungle is for men like him.

He knew what it took to make it and making it meant that you did whatever you needed to do in order to succeed. The saying that “nice guys finished last” was true. The nice ones were swallowed whole but the ones like him; they took what they wanted regardless of what anyone else thought. Either they got onboard or they got run over and if he had to step on a few bodies to get to the top, well that’s just collateral damage.

A knock at the door pulled him from his thoughts. Virgil Parsons pushed the door open far enough to poke his head through the doorway. “Hey, Allen, you got a few minutes you can spare?” he asked.

“Sure, come on in,” he said, motioning with his hand. “What can I do for you?”

“I found a little discrepancy regarding one of our property acquisitions.”

Allen frowned. “Which one are you talking about?” he asked.

Virgil glanced at the computer printout in his hand. “It’s an old warehouse just outside of Springfield. The paperwork says it was purchased a little over a month ago.” 

“For what purpose?” Allen asked, the frown on his face deepening.

“That’s just it. From what I can tell, there isn’t one,” Virgil said, shaking his head.

“We never purchase property without knowing beforehand what we’re planning on doing with it. That doesn’t make any sense,” Allen said.

Virgil snorted. “You’re telling me. What I can’t understand is why I didn’t know about this before now. All properly acquisitions go through me first and quite frankly it perturbs me just a bit.”

“I can’t say I blame you,” Allen laughed. “Have you talked to Sydney about this?”

Virgil shook his head. “Not yet. I stopped by her office before I came to see you and Maureen said she was gone for the rest of the day.”

“I’ll tell you what,” Allen said, nodding at the paper in Virgil’s hand. “Why don’t you leave that with me and first thing Monday morning, I’ll get with Sydney and see if we can’t get to the bottom of it.”

A look of relief crossed Virgil’s face. “That would be great if you’re sure you don’t mind,” he said as he held the paper out to Allen.

 “I don’t mind at all,” Allen said, smiling as he took the paper.

“Well, I appreciate it just the same. I’d do it myself but I am so swamped with lining up all the contractors for Dem and on top of all that, Bev told me that Sydney is thinking about merging Welsh and EMCOR.”

Allen’s eyebrows rose in surprise. “I didn’t know that.”

“No one else does either so what I just told you has to stay between us for now.”

“I won’t tell a soul. Did Bev by chance say why Sydney is thinking about doing this?” Allen asked, his mind and thoughts whirling a mile a minute.

Virgil shrugged. “Not really. Just that the Welsh Programmers had been working on a secret project and if it worked out like Sydney thought and as well as they all hoped, then it would make sense to house the two companies together under the same roof.”

Allen felt his temper flare again as he listened to Virgil’s explanation. “Well, I’ll be sure to talk to Sydney about this first thing in the morning,” he said, tapping his finger on the paper.

“Thanks again,” Virgil said as he walked toward the door.

“Not a problem. Can you shut the door behind you when you leave?” Allen asked and then waited for Virgil to close the door before he fully lost control of his temper. He slammed his fist down on the desk. “Damn you, Sydney,” he swore under his breath as he slung the computer printout across the room. “Why did you hire her?”

Sydney watched Caitlyn get in her car and pull away before she went back inside the house. She decided to make a pit stop at the kitchen to get something to drink before she went to check on Rachel. She grabbed a Coke out of the fridge for herself and a Sprite for Rachel.
If memory serves me correctly, I remember that was the only type of soft drink she liked. I wonder if that’s still true,
she thought to herself as she made her way down the hallway toward the design room.

As she got closer, she could hear the rhythmic clicking of a keyboard. She had expected Rachel to be gone by now, after all, it was Christmas Eve. She hated to admit it, but she had been more than a little happy when she saw Rachel’s car still parked in front of the house when she had walked Caitlyn out.

She stood in the doorway for several minutes, mesmerized by the woman sitting at the desk. She knew that the young woman she had fallen in love with all those years ago was long gone but the woman who had replaced her was heart-stopping stunning.

They are so alike,
she thought as she watched Rachel’s facial expression change repeatedly. Rachel was so intent on what she was doing, she hadn’t noticed that Sydney was standing there.

Sydney cleared her throat so she wouldn’t scare her. Rachel stopped what she was doing and looked up at Sydney. The look in her eyes caused Sydney to catch her breath. For a small instant, she saw a glimpse of the old Rachel she once knew.

“Hey there. I thought you might like something to drink,” Sydney said as she came fully into the room and held the can out to Rachel.

Rachel smiled as she took the offered drink from Sydney.

“Why are you smiling?” Sydney asked.

“I guess it’s because I can’t believe you still remembered after all these years,” Rachel answered as she held the can of Sprite in the air. “Thank you.”

Sydney shrugged. “There are some things you never forget and lucky for me some things never change.” Sydney smiled and then said, “I guess that includes your drinking habits.”

Rachel cocked her head to the side as she thought about it. “You’re right,” she said finally.

Sydney leaned her hip against the side of the desk. “I half-expected you to be gone by now.”    

Rachel grimaced. “I kinda lost track of time.”

“You do know that it’s Christmas Eve, right?” Sydney asked.

Rachel laughed. “Yes, I know what day it is. I just wanted to finish the design changes for the bathroom. You’ll be happy to know that I was able to finish all the rooms that you wanted done first.” She reached over, grabbed a stack of printouts off the printer, and laid them on the edge of the desk near Sydney. “I took the liberty and made three different variations for all four rooms. So when you get a chance, look at them and decide which ones you like best. Once you’ve decided, I’ll order the materials needed and line up the contractors so I can put a schedule together to implement the changes.”

“Sounds like a plan to me,” Sydney said, glancing down at the printouts.

They were both silent for several seconds. Rachel shifted slightly in her chair. She looked at Sydney, who now had a strange look on her face. “Are you all right?” she asked.

“Yeah, sorry. I’m just deep in thought,” Sydney answered.

Rachel laughed. “I’m almost afraid to ask but here goes, what are you thinking about?”

“I was wondering if you’ve ever thought about me over the years,” Sydney answered honestly.

By the expression on Rachel’s face, Sydney’s answer is what she expected. “What do you think?” she asked, answering Sydney’s question with a question of her own.

“I don’t know, otherwise I wouldn’t have asked,” Sydney said, her eyes narrowing as she studied Rachel’s face for some indication of what was going through her mind.

Rachel looked down at her folded hands, which rested in her lap. “The answer is yes. I’ve thought about you a lot over the years,” she answered without looking at Sydney.

“But not enough to want to see me again,” Sydney said. The silence in the room was almost deafening and Sydney felt her anger rise to the surface.

“Why would I? You’ve been out of my life for over a decade,” Rachel said, her voice just above a whisper.

“I don’t know. How about to maybe apologize for the fucking
Dear Jane
letter you left me. Regardless of why you did what you did, I think ... no  ... I know I deserved better than that.”

Rachel got up from her chair and grabbed her jacket off the back of the stool. With her back to Sydney she said, “I don’t want to get into this right now.” She turned and took a step toward the doorway.

“Oh no,” Sydney said and blocked Rachel’s exit with her body.

“You read my letter, Sydney. So you know why I left.”

“You’re right, I did.” Sydney laughed. “More times than I care to remember actually.”

“I need to get home,” Rachel said, her voice shaking.

“I just have a few questions for you first. Things I’ve wondered about for a long time now.”

“How long is this going to take? I have plans tonight,” Rachel said as she leaned back against the drafting table and crossed her arms over her chest.

“Still doing the midnight mass thingy?” Sydney asked with a smirk on her face.

“It’s none of your business what my plans are,” Rachel said through clenched teeth as she felt her own temper flare.

“You’re right, it’s not. So tell me this, Rache, how can you still support a church that hides and condones pedophile priests, yet has the audacity to declare that two women who are hopelessly in love with each other are a sin or abomination? You know what I think is a sin?” Sydney asked but continued without giving Rachel a chance to answer. “I think it’s a sin that the Pope tells people they shouldn’t be having sex and he’s talking about a subject when he’s the last person who should know a damn thing about the topic of sex.”

The shocked expression on Rachel’s face was a clear indication that she hadn’t expected to hear what Sydney just said.

Sydney held her hand up in the air. “Never mind but here’s a news flash for you, the church, and your whacked out ass parents. Priests who rape children are not homosexual, they are perverts who should have their balls cut off, then shot and then shot again for good measure.”

Rachel’s right eyebrow shot upward. “Why don’t you tell me how you really feel. Are you done now?”

Sydney’s eyes narrowed as she looked at Rachel. “Hell no, I’m just getting started and for the record,” Sydney said, looking up toward the ceiling as if she were talking to God. “If the church or anyone else wants to worry about the people who molest kids, they should look at good old heterosexual grandpa who likes bouncing little girls on his lap or that stepfather who seems to be so wonderful. It’s not us lesbians or gay men who rape their kids, it’s the so-called straight men that more than likely turn out to be a God damned relative. I suggest that you look no further than your own father or Uncle Henry.”

“I think someone in this room has some serious anger issues,” Rachel said. Her words served only to fuel Sydney’s anger.

“I would let a lesbian or gay man babysit my child any day of the week before I would trust them to the care of my so-called
straight
male relatives. Those are the ones the church should be warning people about.” She stopped and took a deep breath as she looked at Rachel. Several seconds past by without them saying a word. “Okay, I think I’m done now,” Sydney said finally.

“Are you sure, I think you may still have a little more church-anger lurking in there somewhere.”

“You’re damn straight and I’m not the only one. I have anger issues because I’m fed up with lesbians and gays getting the blame for everything that’s fucked up in the world. The difference is that I have the balls to tell it like it is.”

“The church doesn’t blame you personally.” Rachel said the words although she knew what she said was a lie but she was so angry right now with Sydney that she didn’t care. 

“Give me a freaking break, Rache. You think your church is so great and that you will find all the answers within those four walls. I don’t care what you believe or think or anyone else for that matter, something is really fucked up when the church would rather see a woman with a man who beats her every single day of her life, then see her with someone of her own sex who loves her and would worship the ground she walked on.”

   Sydney took another deep breath. “Tell me, Rache, how could any parent want that for their child? How could you prefer to see your daughters with an abusive boyfriend or husband instead of someone of their own sex who loves them? It’s insane!”

“You know what? I’ve heard enough,” Rachel yelled.

Sydney grinned. “You know what you are?”

“I’m sure you’re going to tell me,” Rachel sighed.

“You’re a hypocrite. You, like so many others, have what I call
Doorstep Religion
. You pick it up on the way into the church and drop it off on the step on your way out but you know what’s worse than that? You’re setting one helluva an example for your daughters.” As soon as the last words left Sydney’s mouth, she regretted it.

Rachel, with tears in her eyes grabbed her car keys and purse off of the drafting table and brushed past Sydney through the doorway.

Sydney followed her out into the hallway but made no move to stop her from leaving. She knew what she said was hurtful and wrong on so many levels but once she started, she couldn’t stop. All those years of hurting had come to the surface and she was unable to stop it. “Go ahead and run away. We both know how good you are at it,” she yelled.